India Diary, con't.

[Guest guest]

22 Dec. Amritapuri

 

I am sitting in the darshan hall (Temple) watching an

amazing spectacle. The entire rear two thirds of the

hall is a darshan line. The men row by row on the

left, the women (and most of the children) on the

right. They are totally packed, and there is a

standing crowd blocking the last twenty feet of the

hall. Fire marshals in the U.S. would have a fit! I

tried to get through and couldn’t. I’m in the upper

left balcony watching this living sea of humanity as

they wait and then periodically all wriggle forward as

another row is called to stand in the darshan line.

Amma, the beautiful beloved of my soul, is as busy as

a one-armed paperhanger. How that sweet little body

manages to do what she does is a never-ending miracle

for me (and others). The line monitors and attendants

working with her are also constantly busy pushing,

helping people up, and in some cases pulling people

away. Amma is constantly giving directions, listening

to problems, greeting, smiling, hugging and blessing.

It’s 12:30 p.m. and her hair is already mussed. She

will continue this until 3:00 or so, then start

bhajans (for Devi Bhava) at around 4:30 p.m. X tells

me that for the hour and a half in between her public

appearances, there will be private audiences, private

darshans, and the never-ending details of her other

works—hospitals, orphanages, homes project, etc.

 

It is truly frenetic up there. My heart goes out to

her in pity, yet I know I have no concept of what she

is taking on, and that she is so vast that none of

this matters. Yet it often looks more like an

altercation going on around her chair than a blessing.

I can only guess that there are at least 1200 sitting

and more coming, plus she is darshaning at tremendous

speed. (That’s why it keeps at least six attendants

busy!) People put garlands on Her, for which she has

to bend her neck. You just know what a beating her

body takes.

 

 

Later:

 

I am watching Devi. She is dressed in a beautiful red

sari with gold trim. I could watch her in DB forever.

The red sari seems extremely powerful tonight; it

just knocks me out every time I look at her. Earlier

tonight, she was blessing babies, and it was adorable

to see her with the little ones, some of whom looked

(to me) exactly like Baby Krishna. As I watch the

endless kissing, hugging and caresses, I wonder, “How

does She do it?” Of course there is only one

explanation, which the heart understands but the mind

never will.

 

 

10:00 p.m.:

 

I am in the right balcony. A lot of the local people

are coming up here now and it’s getting hot. Many are

sleeping. Behind me eight Indians are in the “spoons”

position sleeping away. It is nearly 10 p.m. and the

crowd is still thronged all the way back to the door.

The kid in front of me is sitting so close that her

hair keeps hitting my knees, and I worry about getting

lice, which I understand are a problem here. I have

no place to put my feet. That (perhaps) crazy girl is

in the upper left balcony going through all kinds of

gestures. The next song will undoubtedly be one I

love, as I just put my earplugs in--for the third

time—due to a very loud song I don’t care for. The

“crazy” girl was at Devi Bhava Thursday night and had

to be forcibly restrained from running up to Mother at

very inappropriate times.

 

23 Dec.

 

Devi Bhava was over at 5:00 a.m. I didn’t go for

darshan, hoping that my feeling it was more for the

local people was correct. I went back to the room and

slept from 11:30 p.m. to 1:00 a.m. Should have slept

longer. Went back with my campstool and sat in the

balcony with mostly Indians. Had a nice interaction

with a young Indian girl in front of me. We exchanged

addresses and promised to write. Ran into R from

Germany and promised to get together Monday, i.e.

today.

 

Slept from 5:00 a.m. to 9:45 a.m. Didn’t make it to

R’s until nearly time for my library seva. Went to

the library as agreed upon at 10:30 and waited until

11:10 and no one showed. I met R at 12:00 and we

visited and then had lunch together. I came back and

tidied up the room for the expected fourth roommate.

 

The societal norms between men and women are very

different here. Today at lunch a group of fifteen or

so workers crowded to the front of the lunch line in

front of the tiny little old Indian woman who was in

front of R and me. I yelped, “I don’t think we’re in

Kansas anymore, Toto!” The women here totally defer to

the men. I knew that Yogananda said his mother always

fed his father first, and I suppose I could have

generalized that to all men are fed before women in

India, but I was still very surprised when these men

went in front of us and had to stifle a guffaw at

their apparent rudeness. (Then I spent the rest of

the afternoon inwardly apologizing to Ammachi for

unintentionally laughing at her culture, feeling that

my own reaction had been arrogant and rude, rather

than respectful.)

 

Tomorrow is Tuesday, Sadhana day. After the 1,000

Names from 5 to 6 a.m., we go up to the “green roof”

to meditate with Mother. X says Mother brings a pile

of rocks to throw at people and one gets to see her in

GURU BHAVA, seeming to be incensed at people. I can

hardly wait! I just hope it’s not me that she’s

seemingly incensed at!

 

Y, our roommate from Holland, has decided to stay

longer. She says something is going on that she can’t

explain. She says she feels like she is being

watched! And then smiles a delightful smile with

those wonderful, totally honest blue eyes of hers.

 

We got our fourth roommate tonight, N. She has a lot

of stuff! When Henry was helping her move in he saw

my dismay at all the “things” she was bringing, and

looking at me, shrugged deeply and said in his heavy

French accent, “She is not a renunciant!” Perfect way

of putting it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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