India Diary (24 Dec)

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24 December

 

Well, yesterday was my first day up on the roof for

Tuesday “Sadhana Day” with Mother. I attended Archana

at 5:00 and then went on up to the roof to wait for

Amma, as I had the impression from what X said that

the meditation was from 6 a.m. to noon, but Ammachi

didn’t arrive until 8:45 a.m.

 

What a thrill! Here is God in human form with Her

disciples in such an intimate way. She sits on a

slightly raised platform on her leopard skin. There

is an air of hushed expectancy as the meditation

begins. I can’t keep my eyes off Her because I want

to see Her throw rocks at devotees. I don’t have to

wait long. First she tosses rocks towards someone on

the men’s side and then motions to the person. A

beautiful young Indian man with a full, curly beard

and very soft, soulful eyes stands uncertainly. Then

she throws more stones, some toward men and some

towards women. My first reaction is sort of a smirk,

I guess, as it seemed pretty funny. Then suddenly

those magnificent eyes flashed in my direction with

what could only be called a warning look that struck

chill into my heart. I immediately shut my eyes and

became VERY serious. I could never decide if the

point of the meditation was to watch Ammachi or to

meditate. I think it was to watch Ammachi the

Beautiful. The rock throwing went on, with people

standing, then sitting. I always quickly closed my

eyes when she looked at me, although she did give me

some really sweet smiles early on.

 

Sometimes she would toss a rock, then quickly hunch

her shoulders and gigglingly cover her mouth in the

manner of a schoolgirl who can’t throw straight. It’s

a pretty good show for someone who is Perfection.

 

Twice in the three hour period before lunch we all

stood and silently turned round and round in a

clockwise direction. Then towards lunchtime Ammachi

reclined on her platform and we all lay down for about

10 or 15 minutes also. X had said that Amma would

serve us lunch. Well, first she led us in a

circumambulation of the temple grounds three times. I

was in my bare feet and worried about my foot

problems, but it didn’t seem to bother me—-Amma’s

Grace. It was great because I got to walk by her

house three times, an area usually inaccessible to me.

She actually “lapped” us once and I turned to

suddenly see Her there right along side me! Then we

went up to the Temple rooftop again and she served us

these heaping plates of food—way too much for me. (Y

came up at the last minute and said she was looking in

horror at all that food when Ammachi suddenly stopped,

smiled at her and said, oh so engagingly, “Too much?”

Y said, “Yes, MUCH too much!” as Amma was already

ordering her another plate. Y laughingly related to

us that the amount on the second plate was perfect.

“I could not have eaten one bite more or one bite

less!” she declared in her emphatic Dutch way, shaking

her head and laughing.) Of course it didn’t matter if

there was too much food on my plate because she’s

already GOT me! Note: The next week (after my inner

child wrote the above line) Ammachi is holding two

plates when I get up to her, one “much too much” and

one about right. In the normal rotation she would

have handed me the “much too much” plate, but this

week she hesitates and then hands me the “about right”

plate without comment. Nothing gets by our Mother!

 

An eccentric friend was embarrassing me by going up to

people (especially Indian people) and putting her hand

on their heart centers, saying, “Om Namah Shivayah,”

then coming back and standing by me and chatting,

folding her arms in very self-satisfied way. She even

did it to a swami and then Ammachi! Ammachi grabbed

her arm and said, “Sit! Sit!” gesturing to a spot.

Then she yelled something in Malayalam that made all

the Indian people laugh long and heartily. When I

talked to X about it later, she said I probably didn’t

want to know what Mother said. (But I’d like to!)

 

After I was so uncomfortable with the friend's

behavior on the roof, I left about 2 or 2:30. (I was

waiting since 5 a.m. to use our flat bathroom.) X

suggested I stay to the end from now on. She said

Mother sort of sneaked out during a guided meditation

when everyone had their eyes closed (except maybe X!)

There was an Indian girl sitting propped up against

the wall with her eyes rolled up, asleep with her

mouth open. As Amma passed this girl, She suddenly

scooped up a small piece of Styrofoam from the floor

and deftly popped it into the unsuspecting girl’s open

mouth as She swept by. That’s our Amma!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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