India Diary con't.

[Guest guest]

Jan. 5, 1997

 

V and L left yesterday. I was sorry to lose my

roommate, but glad for her since she was not too

happy with India.

 

Mother has been working on me pretty good, bringing

up some of those nasty old vasanas. I was angry

with Her last night, so it's probably just as well

I didn't write in my diary. We have a new roommate,

R from the US, and her eyes are full of light.

(Good conversations mean less writing in diary.)

 

 

Jan. 6, 1997

 

I am sitting here again on the temple floor watching

Devi. She is absolutely beautiful in a coral sari

with gold trim. I went for darshan earlier and

Mother told me to sit up near her tonight. That was

special because it was probably the last real darshan

before I leave.

 

It looks like we will be done here early this

morning, like 1:30 or 2:00 a.m. Then tomorrow we

start for Calicutt, now reverting to the pre-British

name of Kozhicode. K and I are leaving at 6 a.m.,

taking the boat across the river (backwater,

actually),

and catching a train instead of going on the bus,

which is pretty arduous, I think. The big benefit

of going on the bus is getting to swim with Mother.

However, K wanted someone to accompany her on the

train, and I had some concerns about travel on the

bus.

 

A note here about all the things people bring with

which to garland Devi. Flowers are common, of course,

but so are limes, tulsi (basil), and other items

that I don't recognize. She probably gets 40 or 50

garlands per Devi Bhava night, and many at other

times, too. Some she leaves on for a long time,

some she strips off immediately. She usually wears

them for a time before taking them off to make room

for more. Some are only down to her waist, but some

reach down to her feet and beyond. Most are

in-between these two lengths.

 

It's getting near the end of Devi Bhava, and the

music is getting faster and the devotees are crowding

in to be near the front when Devi does her thing

at the end.

 

The electric lights have been off and on several

times tonight. We usually have the current

interrupted in our flat at least once or twice a

night, but it's a little unusual for the temple

lights to be off. They do apparently have an

auxilliary power unit, for even when the juice was

totally off, a few critical lights remained.

 

 

Jan. 6, con't.

 

Well, change in India is constant. After Devi

Bhava I went to check with K on when and where to

meet. She told me she was very ill and had given

the ticket with both our names on it to some other

woman who was also going at that time. I was

initially upset, but decided it just takes a lot of

faith to travel like this, and we agreed to meet on

the temple steps at 6 a.m. K thought she'd be able

to go, but when we met at 6 a.m., she said she'd been

up sick all night and couldn't go, and that S had

my ticket. S returned from filling his water bottle

and we left about 6:10 a.m., taking the boat to

Vallikavu and then the ashram bus to Kayamkulam.

We arrived plenty early and are now on the train

in second class with air-conditioning. There are

a lot of devotees on the train, but all except the

two S's and me are in 2nd Class with no AC. I

actually think I would have preferred 2nd Class with

no AC, but since this was my first train ride in

India, I let someone else decide. (By the end of

the day though, I was very glad I was in AC!)

One can't really see much out of these cars because

the windows are all scratched and have a brown film

which "appears" permanent on the outside. I'd

rather be in the open cars taking it all in. However,

Dayle will be glad this gives me an opportunity to

do a lot of catching up in my diary. Now someone

else supposedly has my return ticket, so I guess

that will work. Grr.

 

Remember the "inappropriate" program on Christmas

Eve? Well, that person had left the ashram for

a while, but it just so "happened" that the day this

person returned and had his first darshan with Amma

was the same day I had arrived early and gotten a

seat close to Mother for watching darshan. This

person gave her a beautiful pink and white flower

arrangement. She appeared touched and held it in

her hands while holding him. She took a lot of time

with him, first kissing and hugging him, then talking

to him, apparently in English, and (I got the

impression) explaining to him what was objectionable

about his show. She would talk, spreading her free

hand as though explaining, then kind of shake her

head and wrinkle her nose as though in mild distaste.

Then at the end, holding her finger and thumb about

1" or 1 1/2" apart I think she asked him if he had

been a little angry with her. It seemed like at

first he didn't want to admit it, but then nodded,

and holding his thumb and forefinger about 3/4"

apart, SEEMED to be saying, "Well, maybe a little

angry." Then more hug, hug, kiss, kiss, and all

was well. I guess we can all relate to doing

something wrong and hoping for as loving a reunion

as that was.

 

R (from Germany) told me a very sweet story last

night at Devi Bhava. She is staying on the fourth

floor dormitory in the Temple. It was Friday or

Saturday night--someone in the dorm woke up and

Mother was there, blessing her sleeping devotees.

One woman was asleep, and Mother actually lay down

beside her in the bed,(!) but the sleeping devotee

never stirred. The woman who was awake wanted so

to come out to Mother, but was not fully dressed and

of course would not even consider coming out from

behind her curtain in that way. So Mother, who

knows the thoughts of all and is ever-compassionate,

came over to her bed, and reaching through the

curtain, held the devotee's hand for a while. Mother

also looked in R's bed, but R was sleeping on the

balcony as usual. R feels sure Mother came out on

the balcony to her, too. For the first time, I

regret being in the flats!

 

Lots of water and palm trees out the windows so far.

Also some watery fields that may be rice paddies, I'm

not sure.

 

Well, here I am in Calicutt! I think I am definitely

in a faraway land. Linda, my friend, if San Ramon

bothered you with a lack of sanitation, don't ever

come to India, which will totally blow you away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

Dear Jyotsna,

 

Just wanted to thank you so much for sharing your diary with us.

It is so beautiful to read.. brings up a poignant longing for Amma's

presence.. and the sights and scenes of India ....

 

maybe one day you will make a book out of these pages that you have

written :-)

 

namah shivaya

 

Gratefully yours

 

bala

 

 

--- Ellen Lamb <jyotsna2 wrote:

> Jan. 7

>

> Here in Calicutt still. Nine of us are sleeping out

> on the back porch of the "house." I'm very grateful

> to J for switching me from the school to the house.

> I hear the school is pretty primitive. T is there

> and says "that crazy C" is in her dorm there. "How

> that woman gets around!" she says. It's all

> Mother's leela.

>

> I'm trying to "be like water" and getting gentle

> practice with one of the ladies on the porch, who

> essentially took down the modesty curtain across

> from me by hanging all her wet laundry on it. Now

> it droops to the point that people can see in.

> I felt inwardly that she would not be receptive,

> but decided to try to explain the problem to her.

> She (as expected) claimed there was no problem, so

> I just smiled and said okay.

>

> Now sitting in the balcony, T and I are playing

> tag-team with our good seats side by side. The

> balcony is the assigned place for westerners.

> We think Mother is to come about 11:30. The crowds

> are already large and it's only 10:00 a.m. They

> are getting ready to do the third archana of the day.

>

> 11:28 a.m.

>

> Crowds as far as the eye can see. It is a major

> operation to get from the temple to the house.

> Manoharan (Scott) and I are supposed to take a

> rickshaw into town to go confirm my ticket at the

> Air India office. Plus he needs to go to a bank and

> a film-developing place. This may be a long ordeal.

>

> January 8

>

> This must be Wednesday. I slept on my travel collar

> wrong last night and got a headache. One of my

> porch-mates from Reunion Island did some energy work

> on me and now I'm feeling much better. I called

> Kelley (my daughter) and asked her to call Northwest

> Airlines International and confirm me on Flt. 8 for

> January 15.

>

> It's odd about being in India. The physical realities

> are somewhat grueling by western standards, yet

> inwardly there is such grace and joy! Of course for

> me it's Mother's presence. I can honestly say there's

> no where else I'd rather be--although at this point

> I miss the kids and the word "home" has a certain

> resonance.

>

> Kelley said they were having a winter storm in

> Austin with three inches of ice. I told her that

> winter seems pretty far away here. She laughed.

> She also said that Barbara got the permanent job!

> Mother's blessings! I remember Prashant's words,

> "She never forgets."

>

> Our sleeping quarters are truly an international

> conglomeration. There's H from Reunion Island, E,

> an Indian Christian, a Japanese woman, P from

> Ireland, the European with all the wash, L from

> France, myself, and a Swedish woman, older, tall

> and blond, with her eyes always full of God.

>

> Since my reading with the psychic, I've been thinking

> about his saying that he thought Mother was going to

> bring me to India, and he was getting the number 4.

> Last night while in the balcony watching Mother, I

> was thinking about how much I love the kids and how

> I had always planned on seeing Matthew grow up. I

> suddenly thought, "Maybe in 10 years (in 2006) I'll

> come to live with Mother!" Mother was in the middle

> of a darshan (of course! She darshaned 10,000

> yesterday, they said!) but she immediately pulled

> her head free and looked up, shooting me a meaningful

> look, holding it for a second, then returned to

> darshaning the same man! It seemed like a

> confirmation of my thoughts. It's very unusual for

> her to do that here where darshans are so much

> quicker than in the US. On one level that is not

> good news, as I want to be with Her far sooner than

> that. But at another level it feels right with no

> strain. Going in 4 months or 4 years (the psychic's

> thought) seemed to be rushing it a bit, even to me,

> although I'll fly to her whenever she gives the

> word, even if that word is tomorrow. The thought of

> leaving her is one of two that moves me to tears here

> in India. (I'm wiping tears as I write this.) The

> other is the one brought up by the airplane incident,

> leaving my children and grandchild through death.

>

> Another Mother story: S is a devotee who works in

> the library, so I've been with her nearly every day.

> The last "sadhana day" on the roof Mother called

> her up and began massaging S's head and temples as

> though she had a headache. So later in the library

> I asked S about it. She said she had just gotten a

> migraine. She first saw the flashing lights,

> signalling one was coming, and then it just hit

> her in the right temple, the area Mother was massaging

> the most. Naturally I asked if her headache went

> away, and she said yes, she was glad to be able to

> tell everyone who asked that it had! The blessings

> of a satguru!

>

> Scott (Manoharan) and I did indeed go confirm my

> Air India ticket yesterday, but more on that later.

>

>

> Web Hosting - establish your business online

> http://webhosting.

>

 

 

 

 

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http://webhosting.

[Guest guest]

Dear Jyotsna,

thank you for sharing this beautiful entry from your diary.

It gives us more of Amma during our winter.

 

Referring to your entry:

In 10 yrs time .....going to live with Amma....do you still

contemplate on that after being in India with all of the physical

hardships; and is Matthew your grandson?

 

I read in one book by a devotee from Seattle, that Amma has said

that in the future there may be an ashram-center in Seattle.

Now I see that the Seattle satsang auction is going and and one

wishfully eyes the Amma items for auction.

 

Thank you again.

In Amma's Love,

Sara

 

Ammachi, Ellen Lamb <jyotsna2> wrote:

> Jan. 7

>

> Here in Calicutt still. Nine of us are sleeping out

> on the back porch of the "house." I'm very grateful

> to J for switching me from the school to the house.

> I hear the school is pretty primitive. T is there

> and says "that crazy C" is in her dorm there. "How

> that woman gets around!" she says. It's all

> Mother's leela.

>

> I'm trying to "be like water" and getting gentle

> practice with one of the ladies on the porch, who

> essentially took down the modesty curtain across

> from me by hanging all her wet laundry on it. Now

> it droops to the point that people can see in.

> I felt inwardly that she would not be receptive,

> but decided to try to explain the problem to her.

> She (as expected) claimed there was no problem, so

> I just smiled and said okay.

>

> Now sitting in the balcony, T and I are playing

> tag-team with our good seats side by side. The

> balcony is the assigned place for westerners.

> We think Mother is to come about 11:30. The crowds

> are already large and it's only 10:00 a.m. They

> are getting ready to do the third archana of the day.

>

> 11:28 a.m.

>

> Crowds as far as the eye can see. It is a major

> operation to get from the temple to the house.

> Manoharan (Scott) and I are supposed to take a

> rickshaw into town to go confirm my ticket at the

> Air India office. Plus he needs to go to a bank and

> a film-developing place. This may be a long ordeal.

>

> January 8

>

> This must be Wednesday. I slept on my travel collar

> wrong last night and got a headache. One of my

> porch-mates from Reunion Island did some energy work

> on me and now I'm feeling much better. I called

> Kelley (my daughter) and asked her to call Northwest

> Airlines International and confirm me on Flt. 8 for

> January 15.

>

> It's odd about being in India. The physical realities

> are somewhat grueling by western standards, yet

> inwardly there is such grace and joy! Of course for

> me it's Mother's presence. I can honestly say there's

> no where else I'd rather be--although at this point

> I miss the kids and the word "home" has a certain

> resonance.

>

> Kelley said they were having a winter storm in

> Austin with three inches of ice. I told her that

> winter seems pretty far away here. She laughed.

> She also said that Barbara got the permanent job!

> Mother's blessings! I remember Prashant's words,

> "She never forgets."

>

> Our sleeping quarters are truly an international

> conglomeration. There's H from Reunion Island, E,

> an Indian Christian, a Japanese woman, P from

> Ireland, the European with all the wash, L from

> France, myself, and a Swedish woman, older, tall

> and blond, with her eyes always full of God.

>

> Since my reading with the psychic, I've been thinking

> about his saying that he thought Mother was going to

> bring me to India, and he was getting the number 4.

> Last night while in the balcony watching Mother, I

> was thinking about how much I love the kids and how

> I had always planned on seeing Matthew grow up. I

> suddenly thought, "Maybe in 10 years (in 2006) I'll

> come to live with Mother!" Mother was in the middle

> of a darshan (of course! She darshaned 10,000

> yesterday, they said!) but she immediately pulled

> her head free and looked up, shooting me a meaningful

> look, holding it for a second, then returned to

> darshaning the same man! It seemed like a

> confirmation of my thoughts. It's very unusual for

> her to do that here where darshans are so much

> quicker than in the US. On one level that is not

> good news, as I want to be with Her far sooner than

> that. But at another level it feels right with no

> strain. Going in 4 months or 4 years (the psychic's

> thought) seemed to be rushing it a bit, even to me,

> although I'll fly to her whenever she gives the

> word, even if that word is tomorrow. The thought of

> leaving her is one of two that moves me to tears here

> in India. (I'm wiping tears as I write this.) The

> other is the one brought up by the airplane incident,

> leaving my children and grandchild through death.

>

> Another Mother story: S is a devotee who works in

> the library, so I've been with her nearly every day.

> The last "sadhana day" on the roof Mother called

> her up and began massaging S's head and temples as

> though she had a headache. So later in the library

> I asked S about it. She said she had just gotten a

> migraine. She first saw the flashing lights,

> signalling one was coming, and then it just hit

> her in the right temple, the area Mother was massaging

> the most. Naturally I asked if her headache went

> away, and she said yes, she was glad to be able to

> tell everyone who asked that it had! The blessings

> of a satguru!

>

> Scott (Manoharan) and I did indeed go confirm my

> Air India ticket yesterday, but more on that later.

>

>

> Web Hosting - establish your business online

> http://webhosting.

[Guest guest]

Dear Sara,

 

Thank you (and Bala) for the very kind words.

 

In answer to your questions, yes, Matthew is my

very special grandson, now 10. (The good news of

the week is that we just learned that if all goes

well there will be a younger brother or sister

in November!)

---

>

> Referring to your entry:

> In 10 yrs time .....going to live with Amma....do

> you still

> contemplate on that after being in India with all of

> the physical

> hardships;

 

Who can say what the future is or what Amma has in

mind? Yet, for myself, it seems that my heart's

desire is to be with Amma. I'm convinced that no

earthly power gave me this desire that seems stronger

than I am. On one level, I'm sick of "hearing"

about what my heart wants, I'm sure Amma is sick of

"hearing" me yammer on about it endlessly, and yet

there it is. The mind thinks I should have some

other desire, like -- oh, say liberation -- or

finding God, etc., but the truth is my heart wants

only that one thing. And, yes, I'm starting to

wonder if I'm going to be a little "long in the tooth"

to deal with the hardships of India at that time

in my life, but there it is. I'll do the best I can.

The best quote I've read on the subject of desire

was in a children's Babar book by Laurent de Brunhoff.

"Oh, how hard it is to wait for one's heart's desire!"

 

 

>

> I read in one book by a devotee from Seattle, that

> Amma has said

> that in the future there may be an ashram-center in

> Seattle.

> Now I see that the Seattle satsang auction is going

> and and one

> wishfully eyes the Amma items for auction.

>

> Thank you again.

> In Amma's Love,

> Sara

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Web Hosting - establish your business

> online

> > http://webhosting.

>

>

 

 

 

 

 

Web Hosting - establish your business online

http://webhosting.