Mother is always with you

[Guest guest]

Mother is always with you

A talk given by brahmacharini Nirmalamrita Chaitanya

at the M.A. center in san ramon, california, june 1997

 

Attachment to a Mahatma, Satguru or God-realized soul

such as Mother is different from attachments to other

things. Through our attachment to Mother, our

attachments to the things of the world drop away. And

through our attachment to Mother, we become devoted to

Her. We begin wanting to serve Her. As our love and

devotion to Amma grows in us, we will focus more on

Her. As our thoughts become tuned to Mother, we become

more and more like Her -- nay, we ourselves become

Mother, who is actually the Divinity within each of

us. Mother attracts us with Her divine love. And the

more attached we become, the more She can mould us,

shape us and purify us. The more we surrender to Her

and see Her hand in all that happens to us, the more

we will become purified.

 

Actually, Mother's external form is a important as the

internal Mother, the Mother who is always with us, who

exists within us as our true Self. This is because

without the external form we cannot come to know the

internal Mother. All the service we do for the

external Mother is actually done to please the inner

Mother.

 

Mother creates situations in which we have to rely on

Her help, and thus Mother's constant, compassionate

presence is affirmed, renewing our faith.

 

I remember an instance like this that happened some

years ago, which illustrates how Mother works miracles

even in seemingly mundane situations. During the early

years of my stay in Amritapuri, the cooking at the

ashram was still done in the old kitchen, and also

outside over the fire. At that time I was responsible,

as I still am, for the Western canteen. On one

particular day, I found out at the last minute that

there was nobody available to cook the soup for the

evening canteen. I was completely inexperienced in

making soup, let alone over a fire. But a friend of

mine said she would help me, so we brought our

supplies to the backyard of the kitchen to make the

soup. Both of us knew very little about making a fire

or about where in the woodshed to find the good

firewood. When we went to collect the firewood, there

was nothing but wet wood. We searched every corner of

the shed, climbing all over the piles of wood, but

everything was wet. It was the tail end of the monsoon

season and the roof of the shed leaked badly. We knew

that the women who regularly cooked for the ashram

kept dry firewood someplace, but nobody was around and

we couldn't find a single piece. Time was running

short and furthermore it was getting dark. We somehow

had to make the soup because that was our duty; but

how would it be possible? Finally, as we were

scrambling over a pile of wood, I prayed very hard to

Mother. I said, "Mother, if you want us to make soup,

you had better get us some dry firewood, because

without it we can't make a fire!" At that moment a

large, heavy gunny sack fell right on top of my

friend's head from the rafters of the shed. She was

startled but not hurt. We looked into the bag and were

wonderstruck at what we saw. The bag was full of old,

dry coconut shells, which burn beautifully. Mother had

provided us with what we needed to complete our task

of serving Her. The timing was far too uncanny for it

to be called a coincidence. It was clearly Mother's

doing. I know this may seem like an insignificant

incident, but it shows us that Mother is ready to help

us out of any predicament, no matter how mundane, if

we just call out to Her.

 

Even though it is true that Mother is always with us,

when we are separated from Her, we feel sad because of

our attachment to Her. This kind of sorrow is actually

good for us. Mother is the Universal Being, and that

is what we ourselves have to become. To become that

Truth, we have to remove the ego. But to remove the

ego is painful. There is no way around that; mo matter

what path you are on, the process of removing the ego

is painful. That's tapas. The pain that we sometimes

experience because of our attachment to Amma has the

effect of wearing down our egos. This is the kind of

pain that will make us grow, and will lead us to

freedom.

 

Mother interacts with us and cultivates a relationship

with us. A longing is created within us, and that

longing is so intense it can be painful. That's what

the gopis experienced with Krishna, and through their

devotion to Him they realized their universal Self --

they realized their oneness with their beloved Lord.

 

Amma's presence is within each one of us, but we need

to remember that She is within others too. In the

Bible Christ says: "For I was hungry and you gave me

food. I was thirsty and you gave me to drink, I was a

stranger and you welcomed me, I was in prison and you

came to me."

 

Amma's presence is within each one of us, but we need

to remember that She is within others too.

 

Then the righteous will answer Him, "Lord, when did we

see thee hungry and feed thee, or thirsty and give

thee to drink? And when did we see thee a stranger and

welcome thee or naked and clothe thee? And when did we

see thee sick or in prison and visit thee?" And the

King will answer them, "Truly, I say to you, as you

did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you

did it to me."

 

There is also another way to look at others that will

remind us of the presence of Mother in all we see. We

cherish things which Mother has touched. These things

are Mother's prasad. They are imbued with Her

Divinity. They are precious to us and remind us of

Mother -- so they are good. But we tend to forget that

if a flower that Mother has walked on, or held in Her

hand, is sacred and precious and should be treated

with reverence, then are we ourselves not even more

sacred? -- because Mother has touched us and held us

close to Her so many times, and has talked to us and

loved us and wiped the tears from our eyes. We are

Mother's children; and since we are Her children, we

are little versions of Her. After all, if the children

of cats are baby cats, and the children of giraffes

are baby giraffes, it is only logical that the

children of giraffes are baby giraffes, it is only

logical that the children of the Divine Mother are

baby Divine Mothers. This means that when we "grow

up," we will be like Her.

 

So each of us are Her prasad, and so we should treat

each other with respect, honour and love. We should

cherish each other and realize that we are all sacred;

because, not only has She held each of us so closely,

but we are all Her children, which means that means

that everyone you see is a little version of Amma.

This hall is also sacred, because Mother has sat in

it, the ground is sacred because She has walked on it,

and the air is sacred because She has breathed it. In

fact, the whole world is sacred because she has

travelled around it, and the ocean is tirtha (holy

water) because it has washed Her feet. This world is

Her creation and deserves to be treated respectfully

and lovingly; in fact, the whole universe is part of

Mother. Everything is Hers - even more than that:

everything and everyone is Her.

 

So if all of this creation is precious and sacred, and

if Mother is with us always, then one may ask what the

need is of Mother's physical body. Why should we spend

time with Mother's physical form if She is always with

us? The problem is that we do not yet experience that

truth. It is through devotion and service to Mother's

external form that we come to know Her real form, Her

universal cosmic form.

 

Our ignorance reminds me of a story of a little frog

that lived in a well. It had lived there for a long

time. It was born and brought up there. One day,

another frog that had lived in the sea came and fell

into the well. The frog of the well asked the

newcomer, "Where do you come from?" and the frog from

the sea replied, "I am from the sea." The frog in the

well said, "The sea! How big is the sea?" The frog

from the sea said, "Oh, very big!" The little frog

from the well stretched his legs and arms out and

asked, "Is your sea this big?" The frog from the sea

said, "No, the sea is much bigger than that." The

little well frog leapt from one side of the well to

the other and said, "Is it this big? Is it as big as

my well?" The frog from the sea said to the little

frog, "My friend, how can you compare this well with

the sea?" The frog from the well asserted, "No, there

can never be anything bigger than my well. Nothing is

bigger than this. This fellow is a liar!"

 

This story illustrates how narrow our vision is. We

think our little narrow world is all there is, the

ultimate reality. We think the world that we

experience through our sense organs is the only thing

that is real. Sitting in the little wells of our ego

we cannot conceive of Amma, who is the Paramatman, the

Supreme Self who illumines all of creation. Though we

cannot comprehend Mother as She really is, by

worshipping and serving Her external form, we will

come to know the Truth.

 

There is another important aspect to Mother's presence

in our lives. Mother's true nature is pure love and

compassion. A true devotee who has the attitude of

total surrender to Mother will understand that

everything that happens in their life, both good and

bad, is given by Mother and is for their own good. But

from our limited viewpoint we do not see the reason

why certain things happen to us. Even when good things

happen to us we do not see that it is God's Grace.

 

In fact, if we go back to the story of the trapper and

the Eskimo, we can see that even though the trapper's

life was saved, he would nevertheless eventually have

to die. That is inevitable. There is one absolute

certainty, and that is that each one of us is going to

die someday. That doesn't mean that God doesn't exist.

When we pray to Mother or God or whatever form of the

Divine we worship, our prayers sometimes don't get

answered in the way that we expect. Mother says that

by our faith, surrender and devotion, the suffering

that we must go through because of our karma will be

lessened to some degree; but that doesn't mean we

don't need to go through suffering. Someone who has

fully surrendered, and who sees everything as God's

Grace will become so detached from their body, that

even if the body has to suffer in some way, they will

not be affected by it.

 

The truth is that whatever experiences we go through

are for our own evolution towards our ultimate union

with the Supreme Reality. If we can go through life

with an attitude of surrender, we will see the hand of

God working in all situations in our lives.

 

There is a beautiful story that I would like to tell

to you that happened some years ago in Mother's Ashram

in India. There was a young man who was studying the

Indian scriptures. He was an ardent devotee of the

Divine Mother and used to chant the Lalita Sahasranama

(the 1,000 names of the Divine Mother) every day

without fail. He had heard about Mother and eagerly

wanted to meet Her. Finally, he had an opportunity to

go to Mother's Ashram and was waiting at the bottom of

Her steps for Her to come down from Her room. He was

thinking at the time about a particular mantra in the

Lalita Sahasranama, which means: "Salutations to She

who enjoys camphor-laden betel rolls, the fragrance of

which permeates the whole universe and attracts people

from all directions." The word "fragrance" in this

mantra symbolises the Divine Love which attracts all

of creation to the Supreme Reality.

 

The young man thought to himself that if Mother really

was the one that this mantra was referring to, She

should give him some sort of sign. With this strong

resolve in his heart, he waited at the bottom of

Mother's stairs. A little while later, Mother came

down, and the strange thing was that She was chewing

on something. This is unusual because you will never

see Mother coming down the stairs chewing anything. I

certainly have never seen Her do this. Mother walked

right up to the young man, opened Her mouth and,

pointing Her finger at Her mouth, said to him, "Look,

son! This is karpura vitika (camphor-laden betel

rolls). A devotee gave it to Amma." Then She walked

away. The young man was shocked. He realized that

Mother was the Divine Mother, whom he had been

worshipping all his life. Isn't it extraordinary to

think that the Divine Mother herself is actually

walking among us disguised in that beautiful human

form?

 

In conclusion, when Mother tells us that She is always

with us, it is the absolute truth. This truth is the

same truth expounded by all the religions of the

world, which teach us that God is omnipresent. This is

Mother's own experience. It could also become our

experience if we purify our minds through spiritual

practices. In the meanwhile, we can remember that we

are all not only brothers and sisters, but verily

Mother's prasadam. We are Mother's children. So we

should treat each other and ourselves that way.

 

I would like to end with a quote of Mother's. In this

quote, She is speaking of the Compassionate Ones, the

Mahatmas. Of course, Mother Herself is the very

embodiment of what is being described here: "Those

whose hearts are filled with love and concern are like

a river that flows down from the highest mountain.

They are like the Ganges. After having ascended to the

highest peak of bliss, out of compassion they flow

down from the heights in order to let others bathe in

them, drink from them and swim in them. They are like

a fruit tree growing by the side of the road, offering

its fruit to everyone. Tired travellers can enjoy the

fruit; they can quench their thirst and appease their

hunger. They are like a beautiful lotus blossoming in

a temple pond. People can gather around to enjoy its

beauty and delight in its fragrance, and in doing so,

they feel contented. Like bees coming to collect

pollen for honey, people will gather around the

compassionate ones, waiting for pearls of wisdom to

fall from their lips. They themselves become an

offering to the people. Such souls have wholly

surrendered themselves to all of existence, yet out of

compassion they offer themselves back to the world."

 

It is my heartfelt prayer that each and every one of

us will drink and bathe in the holy waters of our

beloved Amma, and will come to realize that She is

verily the Essence within each one of us.

 

Jai Ma,

Ravi

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

Hi Ravi,

 

This was a beautiful talk to share. Thank you.

 

I wanted to share some of my experiences in relation to two points in

this talk.

 

1. External Divine Mother vs the Internal Divine Mother

Years ago in college, a friend and I used to discuss many

philospohical and spiritual (if they can be differentiated so)

points. He used to chant the Gayatri mantra even then, where I was

a 'bookish' kind of spiritual person. I asked him about his practice.

He told me that he was inspired by his chacha (father's brother) to

do so, and told me that chanting a mantra regularly was the easiest

walk to attain DEFINITE spiritual progress. He had picked up the

Gayatri mantra from his elderly relative because he had heard that it

was considered the most powerful mantra.

 

I asked him its significance. He said the mantra quiets the mind.

Constant chanting of mantra leaves the mind with only thought - of

the mantra. These were his words, which I have been able to remember

even now.

 

"From many thoughts to one thought; from one to none."

 

To me, the one thought (Gayatri Mantra) is the same as the External

Divine Mother, and the none (no thought) is the Internal Divine

Mother. I can only see these two ways of looking at the truth as two

sides of the same coin. Clinging to the External Amma (and only cling

to Her) will lead you to the Internal Amma - such is my firm belief

now.

 

2. The firewood story

It is true that Amma listens to you the moment you REALLY talk to Her.

This is an incident from this Thursday (03/20/2003).

 

A friend from work was asking me about my spiritual activities. I

told him about Amma; he said he has heard about Her but could not

place where exactly. So, I offered to give him my copy of the

Swamiji's-written biography. At home, I thought I will give him

the "Intro to Amma" video also, as it is short and cannot bore him

sufficiently to put it off before it is over!

 

I got the video alright, but the book proved to be an elusive chap. I

searched everywhere in my house (twice over), and was puzzled and

worried I did not get the book. I gave up and went to watch TV. 5

minutes into it, I got up and told myself I will check it again. I

again went through the same spots and I could not find the book. In

frustration and surrender, I said within myself, "Amma, if it is true

that you don't want to get out of here, then so be it. Else please

come into my hands."

 

THE VERY NEXT MOMENT, THE BOOK I PICKED UP FROM THE BOOKCASE WAS

AMMA'S BIOGRAPHY!

 

I was thrilled and shocked! I knew it was no coincidence. Later on, I

thought, I used the words "get out of here" (came out very

spontaneously), so I guess She may have manifested Herself more out

of the sheer relief of "getting out of my life and hopefully getting

a temporary (or even permanent) better residence somewhere else!".

 

lol. who knows, but could very well be true too!

 

Such is our dear dear Divine Amma!

 

Jai Ma!

[Guest guest]

Namah Shivaya Manoj,

 

I have a story regarding the external and internal

Amma that you referred to. It was the 2002 michigan

retreat and it was about 3.30am. There were less than

50 people in the hall! What a privilege!

 

The question was asked by a friend who came for

darshan. He simply asked what the difference between

the external and internal Amma is. Amma replied

lovingly (interspersed with jokes and laughter all

around) that making the external Amma all yours is

like holding water in your hand. The harder you try to

hold it, the easier it slips away. The internal Amma

on the other hand, is trapped in your heart. She will

not leave unless you ask her to!

 

I had the good fortune of doing prasad seva at the

time she was answering the question. A range of

thoughts, including some naughty ones came to my mind.

No sooner had I thought it that Amma gave me a "look"

and said, "Enna da?!" meaning 'what'? I kind of

blushed and said something to make up. :-)

 

She is verily the essence of everything in this world.

In the Lalitha Sahasranama, one of the names of the

divine mother is Gayatri. So, the prayer from the

Gayatri Mantra is in fact being addressed (or routed)

to her!

 

Your book story was very interesting. We cannot call

something like this a 'coincidence'!

 

Jai Jai Ma,

Ravi

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

Brothers Ravi and Manoj,

 

Fine stories. The internal/external issue is something I have given a

lot of thought to and something that continues to exercise my mind.

 

I am in sync with brother Ravi's observation that chasing the

external Amma is not a game that one can ever win. The external Amma,

like all things in the natural world, is a limited resource. When

people in the world fight to the very death over material goods,

there is little reason to believe that the fight for the external

Amma is likely to be less fierce. I have personally witnessed, from a

distance, the positioning and jockeying for space that goes on around

Amma at various satsangs. There have been and will always be, the

influential breakers of queues, the private audiences to which many

are not invited and so on. This is not to suggest that any of this

is 'bad'; there are, more often than not, excellent reasons for all

of this.

 

However inequality of opportunity for 'Amma-time' is a fact of life.

That fact does trouble me from time to time, especially when I feel I

am running short of guidance. There are always so many questions in

my mind that seem at once trivial and important life-and-death

issues. Trivial, in the big picture which is always in the background

but important, in the foreground of my personal experience where most

of my attention is usually focussed.

 

To stave off potential disappointment, I have consciously chosen

to 'target' the internal Amma. Of course, when the external Amma

comes around, like sushi on a revolving platter in a Japanese

restaurant, I do take a bite (my apologies to those who find the

analogy odious!) but I do not find running with the platter to be a

productive enterprise. Even the Brahmacharis/Brahmacharinis in the

ashram get only tiny slices of the physical Amma; the average slice

size in this group is severely disproportionate to their physical

investments by way of 'sadhana' and 'seva'.

 

In contrast to the 'high internal-low external Amma' group referred

to above, the lives of the 'high external-low internal Amma' group

present an interesting study. Every satsang probably has a complement

of the latter type; I myself have come across a few. There are those

for instance who jet around the world, from Zurich to Japan, just

to 'hang out' with Amma and sing 'bhajans' with Her group but I see

few signs of their having internalized any significant component of

Her teachings.

 

Finally, I guess there are the truly blessed, those who are in the

category of what might be termed, 'high external-high internal Amma'

followers. Even if Amma says, as She does somewhere in the Awaken

series (?), that the leaves at the base of the plant are as dear to

Her as those near the flower, one cannot help thinking wistfully

about being near the flower. For the rest of us - far-flung devotees

who see Her but once a year for a grand total of 20 seconds, the

memory of Her fragrant presence must necessarily be treasured above

the fragrance itself.

 

Humbly,

 

Om Amriteshwaryai Namah

 

fg

[Guest guest]

Ammachi, Ravishankar Krishnan <ravkris>

wrote:

> The question was asked by a friend who came for

> darshan. He simply asked what the difference between

> the external and internal Amma is. Amma replied

> lovingly (interspersed with jokes and laughter all

> around) that making the external Amma all yours is

> like holding water in your hand. The harder you try to

> hold it, the easier it slips away. The internal Amma

> on the other hand, is trapped in your heart. She will

> not leave unless you ask her to!

>

 

Namah Shivaya Ravi (and fg).

 

I agree completely with Amma's answer, and your conclusions -

that "making the external Amma ALL YOURS is like holding water in

your hand".

 

However, that is not what I meant by "clinging to Amma" (refer my

earlier mail). What I meant was "making ONLY the external Amma YOUR

ALL".

 

If you can see the subtle difference between the two, you will

realize that we are all in complete agreement. What a rare thing to

happen in a discussion!

 

Jai Ma!

[Guest guest]

Namah Shivaya.

 

, you will

> realize that we are all in complete agreement. What a rare thing to

> happen in a discussion!

>

> Jai Ma!

 

Jai Ma! indeed. While external She may be as elusive as water, Her grace

flows like water into every crack of our existence. How else could this rare

thing occur!

 

So grateful for that grace and its many manifestations in this satsang.

 

And to add to this thread:

 

In a recent exchange with another local devotee, was celebrating the way

Amma can be smiling with one eye and weeping with the other, addressing 2

different needs at the same time. We had been talking about how surely Amma

must not be smiling at the violent conflict underway. The next time I went

to our altar and looked at the picture of Amma smiling, I could see tears

in her eyes. Now I see them every time I look at the picture.

 

premarupa

Aum Amriteshvaryai Namah