Guest guest Posted April 15, 2003 Report Share Posted April 15, 2003 Om Amriteshwaryai namah I pray to Amma that I amy spealk form my heart regarding this matter as it rings so close to home. i grew up in a hare krsna temple and was very devotional to radha and krishna in my early years until the environment's hypocrisy and lack of consistency, lack of love for the brothers and sisters as opposed to the deities became too difficult to bear. i left the hare krishnas at twelve, ready to go and join the "demons" as everyone else who was not devoteees was considered to be because the amount of abuse that i endured along with thousands of other children who grew up in HK gurukulas turned most of us off to God at all. WHy isnt he protecting us?, we would wonder. I had no taste for Radha and Krsna for many years after- I was more into native american spirituality and many other paths but was too triggered by pain to even hear the mantra hare krsna. when i met amma, i was a bit turned off to seeing someone dressed like a goddess and remembered the harekrsna phiosophy of impostors and felt scared to fall into a trap -still the heartful bhajans being sung by swamiji called me closer. when i went for hug , mostly out of curiosity and full of skepticism, I felt the light of Her presence draining all the poison fear and impurities from my hands and my body. It was not more than an hour before I decided I wanted to ask Her for a mantra. I asked for one for pure love. when i got to sit close to her to wait for my mantra, Amma , dressed in red, felt just like Goddess Laksmi whose name I have been using for years as a shortened version of Laksmana, my birth name. I said in my heart, Amma, what is my real name? Just then, Swami's voice in Bhajan seemed to get louder when he sung Laksmi. But here I was sitting by the real Laksmi DEVI. When she told me my mantra, I couldnt hear her words. They were not familiar to me- though I grew up immersed in Sanskrit in Tthe Hare Krsnas. I asked her WHAT? She said it again. I still couldnt make it out. WHat? SHe laughed and said it again and then motioned for Swami to write it down. The reason I had never heard it was becuase it had to do with Goddess energy.When I got to AMritapuri, I felt SHe was Lord Krsna and Radha but hiding their sweetness from me. I would feel so full of longing for them there more than i ever had in my life that I would cry hysterically, begging for Her to reveal Herself to me. It was obvious to me that it was Her presence which was evoking my childhood devotion as well as the vasanas related to it. Up until that point I was involved in a lawsuit aginst the Hare Krishnas for child abuse. One darshan in AMritapuri, I asked Amma whether it would be good to continue with the lawsuit to protect other children and also about the Hare KRishnas in general. She told me that though a diamond is soaking in a bucket of oil, it is still a diamond. SHe asked me if I felt like I was really that badly damaged from it all. Since coming to Amritapuri, I was becoming aware that everything that had happened in my horrible past had been a beautiful preparation for meeting my AMma and I was then very grateful for those hard experiences so when she asked me I almost laughed at my foolishness.I said ,"No, AMMA!"I felt like I was standing next to God who was asking me if I was happy to be there with Her or still too messed up. Then she said, "Stay away from those people, they dont have Amma." She knew I was missing the good things about them like the food and the dancing and the beautiful forms of the Deities and she was telling me what I already knew. The essence of Pure Love within them was being covered over there by their judgmtn and separation without the guidance of a Satguru and though the forms were so enticing, it was not full of the love of the Mother, which is all-encompassing, compassionate and kind to all. Sometimes, this has been hard advice for me to follow since Amma reawakened the spark of love for Radha and Krishna within me and I am still attracted to Their forms and Hre Krishan temples are easier to get to than Amritapuri or San Ramon. Anyway, Sometimes because of my burning desire to feel Radha and Krishna. She would show me a little. Like once on South India tour, I felt nearly suicidal with longing and people were coming to me, Can i Help? NO, I was crying only becuase I wanted so much to see the sweet form of Radha and Krsna. After a short while of crying to Her in the midnight sky, I heard the bells and songs of Them. I wnet downt ot he darshan hall and therre the most beautiful children were dancing in costume krishana nd the gopis , righ next to Amma. Her shakti was charging the scene and the receptivity of the children so that it was truly none other than them and i was so full and content then and other times Amma would give me many gifts like this but agai and again the same problem arose. Because of my conditioning, I was terrified that that the Brahman was a lesser and more temporary form of realization than Krsna Loka. I sometimes wondered if Amma was a mayavadi, or even Maya Devi herself.Sometimes, She was none other Than Lord SIva drinking the poison a nd leaving us with the nectar of immortality but still i thought I want my final goal to be serving in form Radha and Krsna. I WENT TO AMMA DURING DEVI BHAVA AND ASKED HER FOR A NEW MANTRA. WHAT?, SHE ASKED, SHOCKED, THEN FIRMLY SAID NO NEW MANTRAS, LIKE I WAS CRAZY TO NOT TRUST HER INT HE FIRST PLACE TOI KNOW THE RIGHT MANTRA FOR ME. AMMA, PLEASE GIVE ME A RADHA KRISHNA MANTRA, I BEGGED. NO NEW MANTRAS. SHE EMPHATICALLY SAID THEN ASKED TH BRAHMACARINIS MY MANTRA WHICH I HAD TOLD THEM BEFORE ASKING THIS QUESTION. WHEN THEY TOLD HER, SHE SIAD MY MANTRA OUT LOUD, IN SUCH A BOOMING VOICE THAT THE THREEW ORLD HAD TO HAVE HEARD IT, WHICH SURPRISED ME BECUASE NO-ONE IS REALLY SUPPOSED TO HEAR IT. CRYING, FEELING LIKE I WAS BEING DOOMED TO ALOWER LEVERL OF GOD-ATTAINMENT, I BEGGED AGAIN, AMMA, PLEASE I WANT TO BE WITH RADHA AND KRSNA. THIS TIME HER VOICE BOOMED EVEN LOUDER. ILFET THE DARSHAN HALL, CRYING HYSTERICALLY , PREPARED TO LEAVE AMMA, FEELING I AHD BEEN DUPED INTO FOLLOWING A FALSE GURU. then She arranged it so I happened across this Swami who looked exactly like SIva and told him my problem and that i wanted radha krishna mantra and amma would not change it- i asked him the meaning of my mantra. he told me that my mantra was seed mantra nd the primary force or formless pure love without which, it would be impossible to even reach Radha and Krsna. He showed me clearly how once i was established in pure love, the form is secondary. His presence exuding her love made me feel so foolish for not trusting Amma and for being so defiant based on head trips from conditioning.Amma, Please help me trust You more and see You everywhere, especially in my own heart and int he hearts of those I do not yet understand. thank you, nandi amma Ammachi wrote:------------------------ Sponsor ---------------------~--> Make Money Online Auctions! Make $500.00 or We Will Give You Thirty Dollars for Trying! http://us.click./yMx78A/fNtFAA/i5gGAA/XUWolB/TM ---~-> Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha! Ammachi ------ There are 8 messages in this issue. Topics in this digest: 1. Re: Re: Peace & Taxes SoulQuest7 2. Asking Amma for guidance 3. Re: Re: Peace & Taxes Ellen Lamb 4. Re: Asking Amma for guidance KandarW 5. Re: Asking Amma for guidance KandarW 6. Re: Asking Amma for guidance "ravkris" 7. Re: Asking Amma for guidance KandarW 8. India Diary, con't. Ellen Lamb ______________________ ______________________ Message: 1 Sat, 12 Apr 2003 02:54:45 EDT SoulQuest7 Re: Re: Peace & Taxes I got an emai from Ammachi.org and they told me purchases were NOT tax deductable, only donations for which no goods were received. -=-= om--- Nick In a message dated 4/11/2003 7:19:50 PM Pacific Daylight Time, jyotsna2 writes: > Dear Soulquest, > > As the originator of the Seattle Satsang Auction, > which eventually started all the others, I can tell > you that the portion that is deductible is only the > amount you pay that is above the "fair market value" > of the item. > > For example, what is a pair of Amma's used shoes worth > to the IRS? Probably not much, the truth to tell, > even though they are priceless to devotees. So if > used Birkenstock sandals usually sell for, say, $10, > and you pay $1000 for them, $990 should be tax > deductible. > > If you are bidding on an astrological reading worth > $150 and get it for $120, nothing would be deductible. > > Clear as mud? > > In Amma, > Jyotsna > ______________________ ______________________ Message: 2 Sat, 12 Apr 2003 13:41:32 -0400 Asking Amma for guidance Om Amriteswaryai Namaha! I would like to ask Amma for guidance regarding what path I should follow, and am wondering if someone could advise me on the best way to present this type of question to Amma. I do consider Amma to be my guru, and while I would like to devote my life to serving Amma as a brahmacharini, I do not feel that l am suited for this path (I feel great resistance to living at Amritapuri or at one of the M.A. Centers, and am not attracted to worship of the Divine Mother). I am ashamed to confess that while I was in Amritapuri, I found both sadhana and rememberance of God to be excruciatingly difficult, and my negative qualities (vasanas) seemed to increase rather than decrease. The tapas was really difficult for me to deal with, and I have not had any interest in returning to Amritapuri since. I know that Amma was creating situations so that I could become conscious of my vasanas, but it was way too intense for me and made me feel like I would never be able to handle the hardships involved in life as a brahmacharini. When I returned from Amritapuri 5 years ago, I became involved in the Vaisnava Sampradaya. The Vaisnava path is very strict and disciplined, yet I have found it quite effortless to perform sadhana and feel very aligned with the worship of Sri Krishna. Every aspect of this path inspires me to remember God and to renounce my negative qualities, and I am able to happily perform seva for 15+ hours at a stretch without any internal resistance. This makes me wonder whether it was Amma Herself who guided me to the Vaisnava path, knowing that it was the only way I would be able to make spiritual progress. The dilemma I would like to present to Amma revolves around the fact that the particular tradition I am involved in adamantly opposes Advaita and requires me to chant a different mantra than the one Amma has given me. I wouldn't be 'allowed' to have photos or books of Amma, and would not be able to meditate because it is not considered to be an effective spiritual practice in this spiritual tradition. I would be able to chant my mantra silently when engaged in service, and could meditate upon Amma mentally, but I think it would be difficult for me to do formal meditation because of the communal living situation and demanding sadhana and seva schedule. Nevertheless, I have benefited greatly from my experiences on this particular path, and am feeling a strong desire to continue in this direction. My question is whether I would need to provide Amma with all these details, being specific with regard to the various options I am considering, or would a simple, "What path should I follow?" be adequate. Part of me is concerned that Amma might recommend that I pursue a path that doesn't appeal to me and that I will not be surrendered enough to follow Her guidance. This makes me wonder whether or not I should even approach Amma about this issue. Yet if I don't ask for Her advice on this matter, I fear that I will not be able to fully devote myself to the Vaisnava path due to doubts about its "rightness" for me in this lifetime. (Dayamrita Swami told me that my attraction to the Vaisnava Sampradaya will fade away in time, as it is a trick played by the mind. But that if I want to follow this path, I should stick to it to get the maximum benefit). Any insight and advice regarding how best to present this 'dilemma' to Amma would be most helpful and appreciated. Thank you for your time and consideration.... Gratefully, Kirsten khd5 ______________________ ______________________ Message: 3 Mon, 14 Apr 2003 18:01:50 -0700 (PDT) Ellen Lamb Re: Re: Peace & Taxes Sorry, I misread the question. Thought it was about the current auction. No, bazaar items are not tax-deductible. My apologies. J. --- SoulQuest7 wrote: > I got an emai from Ammachi.org and they told me > purchases were NOT tax > deductable, only donations for which no goods were > received. -=-= om--- Nick > > In a message dated 4/11/2003 7:19:50 PM Pacific > Daylight Time, > jyotsna2 writes: > > > > Dear Soulquest, > > > > As the originator of the Seattle Satsang Auction, > > which eventually started all the others, I can > tell > > you that the portion that is deductible is only > the > > amount you pay that is above the "fair market > value" > > of the item. > > > > For example, what is a pair of Amma's used shoes > worth > > to the IRS? Probably not much, the truth to tell, > > even though they are priceless to devotees. So if > > used Birkenstock sandals usually sell for, say, > $10, > > and you pay $1000 for them, $990 should be tax > > deductible. > > > > If you are bidding on an astrological reading > worth > > $150 and get it for $120, nothing would be > deductible. > > > > Clear as mud? > > > > In Amma, > > Jyotsna > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > > Tax Center - File online, calculators, forms, and more http://tax. ______________________ ______________________ Message: 4 Mon, 14 Apr 2003 21:13:39 EDT KandarW Re: Asking Amma for guidance Jai Kirsten: > I would like to ask Amma for guidance regarding what path I should follow, > and am wondering if someone could advise me on the best way to present this > type of question to Amma. There is only one path ... the path of your heart. Ask Amma in your heart for She is there. Doing so is a clear statement to yourself that you acknowledge Her presence in your heart. > I found both sadhana and rememberance of God to be excruciatingly difficult, > and my negative qualities (vasanas) seemed to increase rather than > decrease. The tapas was really difficult for me to deal with, and I have > not had any interest in returning to Amritapuri since. I know that Amma was > creating situations so that I could become conscious of my vasanas, but it > was way too intense for me and made me feel like I would never be able to > handle the hardships involved in life as a brahmacharini. We need to fully experience that which caused the negative qualities in order for them to be released. While this can be very intense at times, by the shear fact that they come to the surface is a clear indication that we are ready to release them and be free. Bare in mind, it is not just the freedom from our negativity that we seek but acquiring the skill to deal with this stuff. In my books, it is the latter that is more important. In school we learnt "facts". In learning those facts, we acquired the skill to learn. Learn one thing and we have the skill to learn anything. > the particular tradition I am involved in adamantly opposes Advaita and > requires me to chant a different mantra than the one Amma has given me. I > wouldn't be 'allowed' to have photos or books of Amma, and would not be > able to meditate because it is not considered to be an effective spiritual > practice in this spiritual tradition. I would be able to chant my mantra > silently when engaged in service, and could meditate upon Amma mentally, Sounds like you are dividing yourself. Please consider that if you are following one tradition, do so wholly (holy). > My question is whether I would need to provide Amma with all these details, > being specific with regard to the various options I am considering, or > would a simple, "What path should I follow?" be adequate. Amma does not need the details, nor do our hearts, only our minds like those things. Now, suppose you were Amma for a minute. This disciple comes to you babbling lengthy details and finally asks: ""What path should I follow?". How might you answer? Part of me is concerned that Amma might recommend that I pursue a path that doesn't appeal to me and that I will not > be surrendered enough to follow Her guidance. This makes me wonder whether > or not I should even approach Amma about this issue. Yet if I don't ask for > Her advice on this matter, I fear that I will not be able to fully devote > myself to the Vaisnava path due to doubts about its "rightness" for me in > this lifetime. But that if I want to follow this path, I should stick > to it to get the maximum benefit). > Sounds good to me: Whatever path you follow put all your heart in it. Again, it is the skill of following a path that is important, not which path. For me and purely for me, as this may or may not be of value to you or anyone else, I tend not to ask Amma to make my decisions for me (because I am leaning the skill to make the best decision for me). I do, without hesitation, ask Her guidance to assist me in that endeavor. Om Amriteswaryai Namaha! Kandar (Peter White) ______________________ ______________________ Message: 5 Mon, 14 Apr 2003 21:16:45 EDT KandarW Re: Asking Amma for guidance Jai Kirsten: > I would like to ask Amma for guidance regarding what path I should follow, > and am wondering if someone could advise me on the best way to present this > type of question to Amma. There is only one path ... the path of your heart. Ask Amma in your heart for She is there. Doing so is a clear statement to yourself that you acknowledge Her presence in your heart. > I found both sadhana and rememberance of God to be excruciatingly difficult, > and my negative qualities (vasanas) seemed to increase rather than > decrease. The tapas was really difficult for me to deal with, and I have > not had any interest in returning to Amritapuri since. I know that Amma was > creating situations so that I could become conscious of my vasanas, but it > was way too intense for me and made me feel like I would never be able to > handle the hardships involved in life as a brahmacharini. We need to fully experience that which caused the negative qualities in order for them to be released. While this can be very intense at times, by the shear fact that they come to the surface is a clear indication that we are ready to release them and be free. Bare in mind, it is not just the freedom from our negativity that we seek but acquiring the skill to deal with this stuff. In my books, it is the latter that is more important. In school we learnt "facts". In learning those facts, we acquired the skill to learn. Learn one thing and we have the skill to learn anything. > the particular tradition I am involved in adamantly opposes Advaita and > requires me to chant a different mantra than the one Amma has given me. I > wouldn't be 'allowed' to have photos or books of Amma, and would not be > able to meditate because it is not considered to be an effective spiritual > practice in this spiritual tradition. I would be able to chant my mantra > silently when engaged in service, and could meditate upon Amma mentally, Sounds like you are dividing yourself. Please consider that if you are following one tradition, do so wholly (holy). > My question is whether I would need to provide Amma with all these details, > being specific with regard to the various options I am considering, or > would a simple, "What path should I follow?" be adequate. Amma does not need the details, nor do our hearts, only our minds like those things. Now, suppose you were Amma for a minute. This disciple comes to you babbling lengthy details and finally asks: ""What path should I follow?". How might you answer? Part of me is concerned that Amma might recommend that I pursue a path that doesn't appeal to me and that I will not > be surrendered enough to follow Her guidance. This makes me wonder whether > or not I should even approach Amma about this issue. Yet if I don't ask for > Her advice on this matter, I fear that I will not be able to fully devote > myself to the Vaisnava path due to doubts about its "rightness" for me in > this lifetime. But that if I want to follow this path, I should stick > to it to get the maximum benefit). > Sounds good to me: Whatever path you follow put all your heart in it. Again, it is the skill of following a path that is important, not which path. For me and purely for me, as this may or may not be of value to you or anyone else, I tend not to ask Amma to make my decisions for me (because I am leaning the skill to make the best decision for me). I do, without hesitation, ask Her guidance to assist me in that endeavor. Om Amriteswaryai Namaha! Kandar (Peter White) ______________________ ______________________ Message: 6 Tue, 15 Apr 2003 04:39:53 -0000 "ravkris" Re: Asking Amma for guidance Namah Shivaya Kristen, Im sure you know that Amma used to give darshan in Krishna Bhava, i.e. the mood of Krishna. First go through these two pages: http://www.amritapuri.org/amma/know/ksudha.htm http://www.amritapuri.org/amma/2002/0203krishna.htm >From what I've read/heard, the reason Amma does not give darshan in Krishna bhava now is because, he is very detached from everything. (his true nature) In such a frame of mind, she said she could not feel that level of compassion. Make no mistake, I simply adore him but he has his own personality. Of course, he helps his devotees with their problems. But he likes to see whether they deserve his help. [And when he decides to help, nothing can stop his grace!] The divine mother, however, just cannot see her children suffer (no matter what their karma is) and comes running to heal them immediately. When Amma is in Devi bhava, she just feels all of creation is her children. All she can do then, is to love them and make her children's lives a celebration. Many people feel an intense love and longing to behold Krishna. The first thing that draws people's attention are the beautiful decorations in any Radha-Krishna temple. Sometimes, I too feel like sitting and looking at the divine couple for hours! Vishnu, who manifested himself as Krishna, is Rama in a different incarnation. (with a different personality) He is also popularly worshipped as Lord Venkateswara of Tirumala. Regarding your question, I would suggest that you look at a picture of Amma in Krishna bhava, for e.g. http://www.mothersbooks.org/cgi-bin/Web_store/web_store.cgi? cart_id=7389436.15969 There is a clearer picture in the biography written by Swami. Sometimes, I look at it and cant help telling myself, "She looks amazingly cute in this bhava!" Think of yourself as one of his gopis (a difficult thing for men to imagine , listen to a bhajan with fast beats (e.g. Meri Sun Le Araj, Brij me Aisa, sung by Amma) and imagine the divine scene where he multiplies himself and dances with each of them! Also remember, that any path that encourages you to make your mind like a child's, has got something right, at least. Think of the butter thief and imagine him each time you see a child smile at you. Changing the mantra permanently may not be a very good idea. Remember, when Amma gave you the mantra, she transmitted a part of herself into you. A mantra received from one who is 'partially' realized will not do any good. So, think well before you discard your gift from Amma, a fully realized satguru. Chanting general mantras on different occassions should be fine. But your personal mantra is best not changed. **Can someone here can tell us if Amma will grant a mantra (different from the original one) if the devotee requests it?** Finally, I would suggest being part of a local satsang (if you're not already part of one). Its a nice way to meet similar minded people and to have a good time as part of Amma's big family! Btw, I have no idea why I typed all this. Maybe Amma would know Jai Ma, Ravi ______________________ ______________________ Message: 7 Tue, 15 Apr 2003 02:02:15 EDT KandarW Re: Asking Amma for guidance Jai Kirsten: > I would like to ask Amma for guidance regarding what path I should follow, > and am wondering if someone could advise me on the best way to present this > type of question to Amma. There is only one path ... the path of your heart. Ask Amma in your heart for She is there. Doing so is a clear statement to yourself that you acknowledge Her presence in your heart. > I found both sadhana and rememberance of God to be excruciatingly difficult, > and my negative qualities (vasanas) seemed to increase rather than > decrease. The tapas was really difficult for me to deal with, and I have > not had any interest in returning to Amritapuri since. I know that Amma was > creating situations so that I could become conscious of my vasanas, but it > was way too intense for me and made me feel like I would never be able to > handle the hardships involved in life as a brahmacharini. We need to fully experience that which caused the negative qualities in order for them to be released. While this can be very intense at times, by the shear fact that they come to the surface is a clear indication that we are ready to release them and be free. Bare in mind, it is not just the freedom from our negativity that we seek but acquiring the skill to deal with this stuff. In my books, it is the latter that is more important. In school we learnt "facts". In learning those facts, we acquired the skill to learn. Learn one thing and we have the skill to learn anything. > the particular tradition I am involved in adamantly opposes Advaita and > requires me to chant a different mantra than the one Amma has given me. I > wouldn't be 'allowed' to have photos or books of Amma, and would not be > able to meditate because it is not considered to be an effective spiritual > practice in this spiritual tradition. I would be able to chant my mantra > silently when engaged in service, and could meditate upon Amma mentally, Sounds like you are dividing yourself. Please consider that if you are following one tradition, do so wholly (holy). > My question is whether I would need to provide Amma with all these details, > being specific with regard to the various options I am considering, or > would a simple, "What path should I follow?" be adequate. Amma does not need the details, nor do our hearts, only our minds like those things. Now, suppose you were Amma for a minute. This disciple comes to you babbling lengthy details and finally asks: ""What path should I follow?". How might you answer? Part of me is concerned that Amma might recommend that I pursue a path that doesn't appeal to me and that I will not > be surrendered enough to follow Her guidance. This makes me wonder whether > or not I should even approach Amma about this issue. Yet if I don't ask for > Her advice on this matter, I fear that I will not be able to fully devote > myself to the Vaisnava path due to doubts about its "rightness" for me in > this lifetime. But that if I want to follow this path, I should stick > to it to get the maximum benefit). > Sounds good to me: Whatever path you follow put all your heart in it. Again, it is the skill of following a path that is important, not which path. For me and purely for me, as this may or may not be of value to you or anyone else, I tend not to ask Amma to make my decisions for me (because I am leaning the skill to make the best decision for me). I do, without hesitation, ask Her guidance to assist me in that endeavor. Om Amriteswaryai Namaha! Kandar (Peter White) ______________________ ______________________ Message: 8 Tue, 15 Apr 2003 00:16:30 -0700 (PDT) Ellen Lamb India Diary, con't. Tues. Jan. 14, 1997 M., who moved into our room while I was in Calicut, got up and helped me with my luggage, as did dear T. The tide was apparently high because the last 20 feet or so of the dirt lane to the jetty was under water. M, bless her heart (!) came back because she didn't want to get all wet, wished me a safe trip and we hugged. One of the really good parts of the trip has been getting to know M! T (bless her heart!) told me she was paying the 50 paise for my boat trip and going across with me and coming back alone. (It's pitch black, I might add.) By the time I got to the jetty, she had waded out in water up to her calves, and helped (along with the two brahmacharins who were there on time as promised) put my luggage in the boat. Then she helps me into the boat for the last time and we begin crossing the stream in almost total darkness. Suddenly the man in front of me in the boat requests my "torch" (flashlight). I ask why and he says there's a boat coming. He signals to the boat and finally I see it, a motorized craft (like a barge) three times larger than our boat. We cross in front of it and arrive at the village. As I start to get out of the boat, my grief about leaving comes up again and with T holding me, I wail, "I don't want to go! I don't want to go!" T tells me to be sure and let my grief out, then gets out and heads for the return boat, only to find out that's not the return boat. The brahmacharins load the station wagon, manage to turn it around in the narrow street, T comes back to wave one more time, and then we are gliding rapidly through the dark streets, iinterestingly enough, using the dimming and brightening of the headlights instead of the horn at this early time in the morning. The brahmacharins talk between themselves in Malayalam at first, then we are all silent. Far sooner than I expect, we pass the road construction area where I had hoped to give a new pair of sturdy plastic sandals to the guy in thongs. No one is about at this early hour. Later we stop for gas and I ask the young brahmachai on the left (M) if he will give the shoes, as well as the pair of thongs I brought, to someone poor who has no shoes. He nods solemnly. A while later, the "boys" as I begin to call them, M and G, ask me if I would like to stop for chai and I say "Yes!" I figure I'll buy theirs because I have been told they are given absolutely no money. But I don't say that because I'm not sure if I should just shout it out or wait until we stop. So we drive for another 45 minutes, chatting, talking of Amma and having fun. I've decided they WERE waiting for me to offer (so I'm not a morning person!) so I said, "I was going to buy you boys some tea!" So--wonderful India-- we pull up in the street literally at the counter of a tea stall and get to watch the operator pouring (mixing?) hot chai from one glass to another in long, steaming hot streams. It's an art form! I hand G a ten rupee note and he gets us all chai and me a cookie-type thing that is not sweet. I urge them to have one too (not being sure how far a ten rupee note goes) and they do, then also get me a sweet muffin and another cookie-type thing that looks fairly Scandinavian, intricately cut out and apparently deep fried. It's all very tasty. As soon as chai is finished we are merrily on our way, tongues further loosened by the good "breakfast." At one point they show me a huge elephant chained beside the road, for tourists I guess. I exclaim, "Oh, I like elephants!" and they nod at each other, smile and say, "You were probably in India before." They are both hoping to come on the U.S. tour sometime, and I hope they do! At one point, G pulled over (to the left side, of course!) and started to get out, saying, "I go do number one!" I just cracked up because I was so surprised to hear him say that. We all laughed heartily together, but while he was out of the car I did say to M, "You know, with ladies it's probably better to say 'Please excuse me'." M (the more quiet of the two) nodded with downcast eyes. I just thought that if these boys were going around the world with Amma, the more formal approach might serve them better, especially with the fairer sex. (I'm sure some guy or guys TOLD them it was okay to say that!) My comment wasn't meant as censure and I hope it wasn't taken that way. Actually, I thought it was pretty funny! Much, much too soon we are skimming through the coastal villages I remember from our taxi ride the first night. The fishermen make a picturesque sight pulling on the nets with their symmetrical rows of very black legs moving against the background of white sand and turquoise sea. This is a scene unchanged for centuries, and I am once again frustrated that I have some exposed film hopelessly jammed in my new camera. (I would have liked a photo of the elephant, too.) And again, much, much too soon, we are pulling into Trivandrum airport. I suddenly burst into tears and cry out, "I don't want to go! I don't want to go!" G yells out, "That's okay, Mother has said for Jyotsna to come back!" and M agrees. I'm still crying as they are telling me how to get out and get a luggage cart. I get one and they load it. We all pronam several times, me through tears, and I make my way into the terminal building, wiping away tears. My India adventure is over. Tomorrow: Final Thoughts on Leaving India The New Search - Faster. Easier. Bingo http://search. ______________________ ______________________ Your use of is subject to The New Search - Faster. Easier. Bingo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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