My First Darshan - Part Two

[Guest guest]

Part II

 

 

Hearing I didn't make it to the Dallas program, a couple of women

from the local satsang group began calling and writing asking how

they could help me get to see Amma before she left the U.S. I told

them I appreciated the offer, but that I could wait until next year.

They wouldn't hear it, and finally one said, "Don't worry. If you're

not meant to see her it won't happen." Basically, they didn't want

me to have any excuses for not going if I really was meant to, and so

with their help I had a plane ticket and a retreat reservation within

days.

 

I began reading and reading, simultaneously scanning four different

Amma books trying to get as much overall coverage about her as I

could before going. I read her biography, I read books by devotees,

stories about miracles, murder attempts, life changes and God's

Grace. I was learning about true spirituality.

 

Other than reading the books, I noticed calmness about the whole

issue. When the Dallas program was approaching, I was jittery and

giddy with excitement. This time, I had no attachment to the trip,

no expectations and barely a belief it was happening. This all

worked in my favor because I was able to approach her with more

openness than I'd ever experienced before.

 

The level of organization I saw when I first arrived for the retreat

at Bryant College was mind-blowing. It occurred to me that some

companies plan for six months or more for the same size event, and

the MA Center did so for multiple events across the country every

year! Not being used to sharing a room or staying up at all hours of

the night, I was feeling a bit apprehensive about the next few days.

I wondered if I did the right thing.

 

I was in for a surprise when I reached my dorm. It was small, filthy

and hot. There was no air conditioning and there was debris all over

the mattress, floor and furniture. There was no overhead light. I

thought, "Amma must be testing me." So, determined not to let it

influence my experience, I put it all out of my mind and just cleaned

up, unpacked, opened a window and let it go. By the evening, my

roommate hadn't shown up and the air outside was cool enough to sleep

so it was nearly as bad as I'd originally imagined.

 

I was there, I was unpacked and I was ready to head to dinner and

then finally see Amma in the flesh. So, what was I waiting for?