my summer with Amma, continued

[Guest guest]

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

I wish I could be more like Supriti Omenka Nnadi, in being so quick

to post an experience, but I am slow . I really thank Supriti for

her post on the NY program.

 

More of my experiences:

 

I wrote down 4 questions that I wanted to ask Amma on my card, in

the question line in Iowa.

(1.)The first question was about my physical health, and if there

was anything more I should be doing to improve it, or if there was

any way to get my physical body in a better physical state.

I am disabled, on crutches, and have many complicated physical

illneses that make my daily life challenging and difficult. In 1999,

Amma advised me to follow a certain naturopathic method of

treatment. I try to do that program, but it is not easy.

(2.) My second question was about my finances.

(3.) My third question was to ask for Her suggestions on ways to

bring more peace and harmony into our daily life in our household

at home in Iceland.

(4.) My fourth question was about my spiritual life and practices.

When my turn was nearing in question line, the attendant who

reads my questions to Amma, said that he would only ask two

questions to Amma from my list , and asked me which of my four

questions were most important to me. I replied that the first two

questions, numbers 1. and 2., were most important to me.

(I project that maybe he thought questions no. 4 and 3 should be

most important.)

 

Amma answered my first question by saying that I should keep on

doing what I am doing "WITH FAITH." What great words

from Amma.

I am really trying to fill my little mind , heart and soul with all

the " FAITH " I can in Amma, and all that She says and does.

She also answered my second question in a way that put my mind

more at ease. I have, for many years, inwardly prayed to Amma,

selfishly asking Her that I would always have the material

resources to see Her physically. Finances and money problems have

troubled me most all of my life. As a child, growing up poor, I

always thought that if I got an education and worked hard, that I

would always be able to be independent, and financially able to

support myself. Well , since 1990, the severe and complicated

illnesses that my physical body has had to deal with, successfully

destroyed that idea and assumption.

 

Amma's words "With Faith" in answer to my first

question, mean a lot to me. Sometimes I feel very bad physically,

and have a lot of fatigue and pain, and am depressed and

discouraged and do not see how to manage my life.

It is great to know that I am on the right track. I began asking

Amma questions about ways to improve my physical health in 1994, but

got no positive response on ways for me to work on it until 1999.

 

One the big treats of this trip was that I was able, for the

first time since 1994, to be physically in the hall with Amma during

the Devi Bhava ceremony. It helped here that incense and camphor are

no longer used in the halls. Usually, because of one of my illnesses

( multiple chemical sensitivity) I am outside the darshan hall on

those evenings and nights, getting my darshan as Amma gets into the

car to leave the hall after the program.

So, I got the chance to examine my attitude in 1994 during

Devi Bhava and my attitude now. During Devi Bhava there is a

ceremony where the participants move their hands over their bodies,

drawing out negativity and then shake it away.

Also, we then turn around 3 times while asking forgiveness for

one's mistakes . When I did this in 1994 I remember thinking,

"Oh sure; here is another technique that I am suppose to believe

works, but probably really doesn't."

I thought that Amma was a true Guru alright;

and a highly evolved Being, like Ramakrishna , or his wife Shradda

Devi. I was judging Amma with my little mind , and I thought that I

knew a lot about spirituality. ( a lot of "I" in my writing here;

hopefully my ego is a bit smaller now).

At that time, I did not believe as I do now, that She is Mother

Parashakti Herself, manifesting in physical form; the Divine Mother

who Ramakrishna and Parmahansa Yogananda worshipped.

She so deftly hides Her identity through Her simple and humble ways,

that may at times seem confusing to us.

Now, in 2004 I was so very grateful to be in the hall during the

ceremony that I had to keep myself from crying tears of gratitude.

During the ceremony I was a devotee with faith, and not one with

a mind filled with judgemental and critical doubts , as was the

case in 1994.

And, I truly, physically felt the healing power of the ceremony.

 

To be a deovtee of Amma, and to have been given a second chance

to have FAITH , in my Divine Mother during Devi Bhava, is only due

to Her compassionate Grace for me. Thank You, Amma.

 

Many take for granted the opportunity to be in the halls attending

Amma's program, and in the Devi Bhava ceremony; or to be able to

travel to Her programs . I painfully learned not to take that for

granted; and that the window of opportunity for being with Amma

can so easily pass by. Then one realizes what one has missed.

 

I will continue with more of my story in a later post.

 

In Amma,

Sara J.

[Guest guest]

Jai Ma, Sara!

 

> Now, in 2004 I was so very grateful to be in the

> hall during the

> ceremony that I had to keep myself from crying tears

> of gratitude.

 

Don't stop the tears! Amma loves our tears of longing!

I know what you mean about being in the hall, although

on a much smaller scale. In LA this year,so many

peaople came to Devi Bhava that hundreds of us had to

gather in a park down the street and watch on these

projector screens. It was so frustrating, we couldn't

hear anything, and I felt so jealous of everyone in

the hall. I heard a news reporter say that over six

thousand people had come! After I heard that, my whole

attitude changed to sheer joy that so many of the

Divine Mother's children are making their way HOME!!!

 

> Many take for granted the opportunity to be in the

> halls attending

> Amma's program, and in the Devi Bhava ceremony; or

> to be able to

> travel to Her programs . I painfully learned not to

> take that for

> granted; and that the window of opportunity for

> being with Amma

> can so easily pass by. Then one realizes what one

> has missed.

>

Jai Ma, Sara! Let's all remember that as we pine for

our dear Mother. In our minds let us garland Her with

mountains of roses and keep Her in our hearts so that

She shines through our every thought, word and deed!

 

Keep shining sister!

 

Om Amriteswaryai Namaha

Brianna