My First Darshan, Part Six (Only one more after this!!!)

[Guest guest]

Part VI

 

Devi Bhava: Mood of the Goddess. There was a different sort of

energy among the retreat-goers that night. For one thing, there were

an additional three thousand people on campus to see Amma. I think

another contributing factor was we all expected to be awake for many

more hours. Still not feeling the total connection to Amma that

others did, I wasn't sure I'd be able to stay awake until the end.

 

Then I saw Her, Amma in Devi Bhava giving darshan with thousands of

people in the room. The air was electric and I felt giddy walking

around. She began at 10PM and the sight was amazing. There is a

subtle but important difference when Amma is in Devi Bhava. I was

drawn to her like a magnet. I alternated from watching from a

distance to working my way onto the stage and back again. I saw her

from all sides and could scarcely take my eyes off her.

 

All night the music swelled and dipped as the crowd moved and

swayed. I decided to ask for a mantra and grew more and more excited

as my number approached. Finally, around 3:30AM the flip cards

turned over and my number was up! I wore my contacts so I could see

Amma's face the entire time. I was so happy, finally felt like I was

going to see my Mother.

 

When I got up there Amma smiled proudly at me and gathered me to

her. I was so happy, nearly laughing with joy as I breathed in her

deep rose scent. So different from my first darshan only two nights

ago! When she held me before her again, I said, "Amma, mantra?" And

she nodded and directed me to an attendant who showed me where I

needed to go to begin the process.

 

I was lucky enough to get my mantra at the same time as the young

Buddhist monk who everyone saw walking around all weekend. When he

and I were in the small group after receiving our mantras, we kept

catching each other's eyes. He was so happy he kept giggling and

covering his mouth. I couldn't stop smiling. So much joy I have

never known as the moments after receiving my initiating mantra from

Amma. The monk was very helpful in explaining the power and purpose

of a mantra and if he's reading this I want to thank him.

 

After that I was in for the long-haul. If I got too tired, I'd go

outside and lay on the grass for a while watching people walk by,

listening to the chatter, the drums and the music from inside. I

felt so peaceful and happy. I never wanted this temporary community

to end. Twenty minutes of lying flat was enough to keep me energetic

for another few hours so I'd go back in and continue floating around

Amma.

 

Around 4:30 the music and energy in the hall reached an amazing

crescendo, frantic and excited, and many people were dancing

ecstatically all around the hall. It was beautiful!

 

The only thing remaining was for Amma to conclude Devi Bhava, and

that is the moment that changed my life forever.