My First Darshan, Part Five: Kali Ma works her magic

[Guest guest]

Part V

 

When I got back to my room it was already 3:30AM and all I could do

was go straight to bed. I was too overwhelmed to even remain

vertical, so I lay down to close my eyes and before I knew it morning

had come. I slept through the morning meditation knowing I would

need to reserve my energy for the following night.

 

After showering and eating some of the fruit I'd brought with me, I

headed to the main hall to watch Amma give darshan. I determined I

would wait until the evening for mine because I was due at the lunch

room shortly for my seva. Walking around the hall, I realized I kept

avoiding looking at Amma. It was like I was upset about all the

negative stuff that had come up for me the previous night.

 

That night for my second darshan, I felt lighter as I waited in

line. I had told myself to focus on joy rather than the negativity

that came up before. I was still holding back, but I didn't know how

to let go. I got my darshan and it felt better, but I couldn't tell

what was going on inside me. This time, I stayed in the hall longer,

but I still didn't feel the huge "wow" I was expecting. Little did I

know the work Amma was doing inside me, and little was I prepared for

what Devi Bhava would bring.

 

~~~

 

>From The Complete Idiot's Guide to Hinduism:

 

One of the demons Durga fought in the Devi Mahatmayam was called

Raktabija, which means "drop of blood". Whenever she attacked him,

each drop of Raktabija's blood turned into a clone of himself as soon

as it touched the ground.

 

This was the only demon actually capable of holding his own against

the Mother of the Universe. For one moment the Divine Power

frowned. From her knit forehead leapt the most terrifying Goddess

ever: Kali!

 

Kali stuck out her long tongue and drank up every drop of Raktabija's

blood before it could touch the earth. And then she ate him!

 

The battles being described here are purely internal. Your guru will

help you understand that Raktabija is the mind's ability to keep

generating negative thoughts and bad habits without end. If you

invoke her, Kali will help you clean out the garbage stored in the

basement of your subconscious. The process is full of grace, but

it's not always pleasant!

 

~~~

 

So, you can see how Mother was working on me, and it became totally

apparent the night of Devi Bhava.