Robin's daughter

[Guest guest]

Robin, in your post, you said:

> > I'm going through a divorce, my parents are moving, my doctor

calls to tell me that my tail bone is dislocated and will take months

instead of weeks to heal and I don't feel that my daughters father is

contributing to any of this at all. I feel like I am about to blow up! >>

 

Your daughter appears to me to be having a natural reaction to all the

change going on in her life. Being a Marriage and Family Therapist,

I'm surprised (hmm, well actually, not that surprised) that your doctor

and the other people helping to diagnose this didn't recognise this.

It's not only common, it's frequent that when the household and

especially the primary caretaker is going through a tremendous amount

of change and pain that the child will have problems with controlling

behavior. She is probably feeling out of control inside, because

everything outside of her is out of control!

 

I'd wait to decide on meds. See if you can create as much stability and

routine for her as you can. Try to spend consistent time with her (I know

that must be hard right now!) Let her know you are there for her, you love

her, and you're not going away. Make sure you spend time talking with her

about what's happening, in a way she can understand, and try to encourage

her

to talk about how it all feels to her. And just as important, try to get

support for yourself! When you feel supported and have more stability

in your life (and are out of pain, no doubt!), your daughter will feel that

change in energy and most likely will have a change in her behavior, too.

Blessings,

Achintya

[Guest guest]

Robin-ji,

 

I whole-heartedly agree with this advice. I mentioned

before that I had a VERY hard time all throughout

school, and was diagnosed a LOT af things, ADD

included.

 

Lucky for me, my grandparents sent me to every sort of

alternative therapy they could, and there are some

really wonderful treatments for ADD out there that

involve no medication. Among them, I especially

benefitted from EEG (electroencephlagraph, not sure of

spelling), which I will not be able to describe

accurately, but is very worth it. Also, audio therapy,

which is used to treat autism, but can be good for

ADD, vision therapy, Brain Gym, and, suprisingly, or

maybe not, Reiki, a Japanese energy-healing practice

that works with the body/mind on the spiritual level.

 

Stay involved, study up and don't let the doctors

scare you into something that doesn't feel right. Meds

CAN be very helpful, but also harmful, and I think we

all owe it to ourselves and our children to try to

treat these things as lovingly and patiently as

possible.

 

One more suggestion; what ultimately got me on track

in school was not until 9th grade, when I read a book

called "The Teenage Liberation Handbook" by Grace

Llywellyn. Not just for teens, Grace's "unschooling"

ideas are REVOLUTIONARY!!! Based on the premise that

we are individuals with minds that all need a

different enviroment to learn in, and that the public

school system is very much a box that is hard for

anyone to fit in to. It's not designed for the

free-thinking individual, it's designed for the

general public, and your little child of God sounds

like the former, to me. Sounds like her mother's

daughter! She may, as I did, be ten-million times

happier in an alternative education program, of which

there are an unlimited number. Homeshooling is

wonderful, as are the numerous alternative schools

that teach in a more holistic and creative, nurturing

and personal style. Many have really good financial

aid, and with smaller classes, she could get a lot of

individual attention.

 

Again, take your time, stay involved, and ask her what

she feels would help her get the most out of her life

at this time. It always suprised me that nobody ever

asked me what I needed to concentrate. I didn't know

about alternative ed., but I would've said, "More art,

fresh air, more individual instruction, more

involvement." Maybe it would've led my grandparents to

pull me out of public school long before we'd spent

thousands on tests and therapies. "Unschooling," a

very individualized kind of independant study, was the

best thing that ever happened to me! I had tutors,

correspondance with professors at Harvard, and best of

all, I did my work when I felt metally ready to each

day, usaully after breakfast and meditation with Gram

and Pop, and spending some time outside in the garden.

I could take breaks as soon as I felt my mind shutting

down, and I came back refreshed and ready to work.

 

Above all, listen to the inner voice. Pray to Amma,

and be fearless, open, and unattached. May you and

your daughter be showered with blessings!

 

All my love,

Brianna

 

> Your daughter appears to me to be having a natural

> reaction to all the

> change going on in her life. She is probably feeling

out of control

> inside, because

> everything outside of her is out of control!

>

> I'd wait to decide on meds. See if you can create

> as much stability and

> routine for her as you can. Try to spend consistent

> time with her (I know

> that must be hard right now!) Let her know you are

> there for her, you love

> her, and you're not going away. Make sure you spend

> time talking with her

> about what's happening, in a way she can understand,

> and try to encourage

> her

> to talk about how it all feels to her. And just as

> important, try to get

> support for yourself! When you feel supported and

> have more stability

> in your life (and are out of pain, no doubt!), your

> daughter will feel that

> change in energy and most likely will have a change

> in her behavior, too.

> Blessings,

> Achintya

>

>

>

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

My dear Robin,

 

Namah Shivaya . I am sorry for all you are going through- just hang in there-

my suggestion is for your kids- apart from all the medical things that you may

or may not do -please take them to see AMMA ! That will have a magic

effect,beleive me..

 

meanwhile try and get your kid an Amma doll that she can play with ..... and

tell her its the doll that represents the best friend she is going to meet next

year .

 

bala

 

Brianna Mosteller <rubyrapunzel wrote:

Robin-ji,

 

I whole-heartedly agree with this advice. I mentioned

before that I had a VERY hard time all throughout

school, and was diagnosed a LOT af things, ADD

included.

 

Lucky for me, my grandparents sent me to every sort of

alternative therapy they could, and there are some

really wonderful treatments for ADD out there that

involve no medication. Among them, I especially

benefitted from EEG (electroencephlagraph, not sure of

spelling), which I will not be able to describe

accurately, but is very worth it. Also, audio therapy,

which is used to treat autism, but can be good for

ADD, vision therapy, Brain Gym, and, suprisingly, or

maybe not, Reiki, a Japanese energy-healing practice

that works with the body/mind on the spiritual level.

 

Stay involved, study up and don't let the doctors

scare you into something that doesn't feel right. Meds

CAN be very helpful, but also harmful, and I think we

all owe it to ourselves and our children to try to

treat these things as lovingly and patiently as

possible.

 

One more suggestion; what ultimately got me on track

in school was not until 9th grade, when I read a book

called "The Teenage Liberation Handbook" by Grace

Llywellyn. Not just for teens, Grace's "unschooling"

ideas are REVOLUTIONARY!!! Based on the premise that

we are individuals with minds that all need a

different enviroment to learn in, and that the public

school system is very much a box that is hard for

anyone to fit in to. It's not designed for the

free-thinking individual, it's designed for the

general public, and your little child of God sounds

like the former, to me. Sounds like her mother's

daughter! She may, as I did, be ten-million times

happier in an alternative education program, of which

there are an unlimited number. Homeshooling is

wonderful, as are the numerous alternative schools

that teach in a more holistic and creative, nurturing

and personal style. Many have really good financial

aid, and with smaller classes, she could get a lot of

individual attention.

 

Again, take your time, stay involved, and ask her what

she feels would help her get the most out of her life

at this time. It always suprised me that nobody ever

asked me what I needed to concentrate. I didn't know

about alternative ed., but I would've said, "More art,

fresh air, more individual instruction, more

involvement." Maybe it would've led my grandparents to

pull me out of public school long before we'd spent

thousands on tests and therapies. "Unschooling," a

very individualized kind of independant study, was the

best thing that ever happened to me! I had tutors,

correspondance with professors at Harvard, and best of

all, I did my work when I felt metally ready to each

day, usaully after breakfast and meditation with Gram

and Pop, and spending some time outside in the garden.

I could take breaks as soon as I felt my mind shutting

down, and I came back refreshed and ready to work.

 

Above all, listen to the inner voice. Pray to Amma,

and be fearless, open, and unattached. May you and

your daughter be showered with blessings!

 

All my love,

Brianna

 

> Your daughter appears to me to be having a natural

> reaction to all the

> change going on in her life. She is probably feeling

out of control

> inside, because

> everything outside of her is out of control!

>

> I'd wait to decide on meds. See if you can create

> as much stability and

> routine for her as you can. Try to spend consistent

> time with her (I know

> that must be hard right now!) Let her know you are

> there for her, you love

> her, and you're not going away. Make sure you spend

> time talking with her

> about what's happening, in a way she can understand,

> and try to encourage

> her

> to talk about how it all feels to her. And just as

> important, try to get

> support for yourself! When you feel supported and

> have more stability

> in your life (and are out of pain, no doubt!), your

> daughter will feel that

> change in energy and most likely will have a change

> in her behavior, too.

> Blessings,

> Achintya

>

>

>

 

 

 

 

 

Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha!

 

Ammachi