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Ammachi, "Erica" <sugarandbrine> wrote:

> Namaste to all... _/\_

>

> I was wondering if anyone ever has moments of wavering faith.

 

Om Amrtesvaryai Namah!

 

Namaste!!

 

we pray and trust that Divine Mother is blessing you and protecting

you always!!

 

dear sister, if you are wondering about moments of wavering...it's

nearly universal i would think....it's rather like the passing phases

of the moon...sometimes it's full moon, and very bright out; one may

walk about without a flashlight (if you are in the country)...other

times it will be new moon, or close thereabouts, and you will NOT be

able to walk about without the help of some external light such as a

street light or flashlight...

 

our moods evolve in phases kind of like that old moon, dear sister,

and not only that, they are quite strongly related TO the moon and

her phases, as well as her progression through the various

signs/houses of the zodiac....if we look at life through the Vedic

astrology lens, we will see that everything moves in cycles, just

like the planets move in cycles...we are taught that even time is

cyclical, rather than linear as westerners usually believe...we

believe that what goes around comes around so to speak...if we sow,

then we shall have to reap later...if good acts, then good karmas

will result, whereas if negative or dangerous acts, then kukarmas

(negative karmas) will result.

 

Now, as the planets and moon revolve about their orbits, they are

quietly but surely activating various parts of people's lives,

depending upon the birth placements of those planets and upon the

nature of the Ascendent (the sign which was rising in the east upon

the moment of birth). Also we will have to consider the Nakshatra

(there are 27...(about 2 1/2 per zodiacal sign)...and the "dasa"

periods..the life periods ruled by the planets in their turn.

 

certain moon placements will result in certain kinds of results as

per the character and personality of the native...just as various

rising signs will describe the physical build and so on of the native.

 

now, as the moon travels in it's great arc through the heavens every

27-8 days, it describes a 360 degree circle more or less...actually a

kind of ellipse....now we get to the houses...in our tradition it is

taught that as the moon passes through the 7th and 8th houses from

its birth placement, that the native will be undergoing definite

challenges...perhaps to her safety...there might be an accident, or

to her health...(i often get bad migraines when moon is in 7th and

8th houses...) This transit however may just result in one's feeling

rather "blah"...and maybe a little depressed...and one might very

well have trouble feeling connected to Amma through this time....as

moon at that time is in a very difficult place for one...(and moon is

the indicator of the heart/mind!!) so when it is in a challenging

place you may easily have challenges to your clarity of mind...to

your feelings of devotion and so on...

 

so what all this jyotish (vedic astrology) stuff is, is just an

indicator of how we go through these ever repeating rhythms in body

feelings, in mental clarity and so on...it's natural.

 

one would suggest to just keep on doing the practices which one might

have learned...especially, one might have a picture of Amma, wherein

She is giving you Darshan...(looking at you)...and spend quite some

time everyday in front of that picture having a "dialogue" with

Mother....while looking intently at Her picture...especially the eyes

which are giving you darshan...just tell Her whatever is in your

heart, in the full understanding that Amma will hear your

calls...even if you can't really believe that Amma will hear your

calls, she really will...so it's worth while to at least "pretend"

that Amma will hear your calls, or to call out to Her AS IF She were

to be right there in front of you...think of that picture of Amma as

HER...looking intently into Her eyes...sometimes roaming blissfully

over Her entire countenance...

 

Just Ask Amma to grant you Pure Love of Her Lotus Feet...and that She

might shower Her grace upon you that you may always live entirely

according to Her will...and KEEP ASKING THIS UNTIL YOU KNOW THAT AMMA

HAS HEARD YOU....how can you tell that? if slowly but surely, or

suddenly, your "feelings" change, and you can feel a rush of love

pouring over you...or springing up like a fountain in your

heart...and when you look at your Amma picture, you can SWEAR that

She is looking right back at you and even winking sometimes, with

that incredible Amma welcoming smile.....these are all hints that we

might be more in tune with Her...

 

PRAYER, dear sister will remedy all your complaints about

wavering...only prayer, and Mother's grace may overcome those

periodic waverings...and we only have PRAYER accessible to us.

 

Often have i started out a session with Mother, in which at the

beginning i might be feeling little or NO connection with Her...i

might even be MAD at Her for some fancied wrongdoing of Hers, which

might have resulted in trouble at work or so on...but IF i, even WITH

all this baggage, and non connection have the patience to sit down

and commune with Mother through her Picture on my Altar, or even just

internally if i am away...if i just pray and pray and pray, asking

Her to grant me pure love of Her Lotus Feet....asking Her to shower

Her Grace upon me that i might do only Her will...if i DO this for a

while, inevitably, after some time, She will respond in some

way...and my bad feelings will just evaporate...like She just

absorbed them or something...and i'll be feeling kind of blissful and

high...tears and so on, from the feeling of Her Love....

 

another good prayer is the one that Christ had suggested "O Lord not

mine but THY Will be done"...this is wonderful when we need to work

on our humility, because after a while we come to see that WHATEVER

is happening IS at the will of the Divine....thus our practice at

surrender will eventually help us to REALLY surrender...just as if we

practise prostrations for a while, we will ultimately realise our own

humility.....sometimes the "donkey" needs a good kick...

 

Mother is wanting to help us to grow to be adorable just as She is

adorable. She is wanting to help us to clean up our lives of all the

old messes...so it might seem that immediately after we meet Her, our

entire world as we knew it, falls apart, only so that Mother can

rebuild it upon a sounder foundation than our fetishes and

taboos...but then it usually takes a while of being with Amma

consciously for those kinds of understandings to flower....

 

i believe that the best way to maintain connection with Amma is to

think of Her always...to pray to Her always...to talk to Her always,

as our Best Friend, Who is just now walking beside us, holding our

hands, and looking lovingly, searchingly into our eyes, with the Most

Intense and Motherly Love...Who is always knocking quietly on the

doors of our hearts, asking to be allowed within, (or OUT,

depending upon whether you see Amma as the Indwelling Atman or

not...)....who is always guiding us from within....

 

As Paramahansa Yogananda used to say...God is great..he has

everything...but in one sense he is the worst beggar...and is lacking

the only thing worth having...He is lacking our LOVE...and quietly,

humbly, He is asking us everyday, knocking on our heart's door, if He

can come in and transform our lives into something more sacred...but

what do we say????? "GO AWAY!! I'M BUSY RIGHT NOW!!" and what does

God say but: (meekly) "ok"....or....worse even, we don't even HEAR

the knocking....

 

if you just call and call and call, just like Paramahansaji used to

suggest, She cannot HELP but answer after a while...and after She has

made sure that your calls are REAL!!! She's a very busy Mother, in

that Cosmic kitchen of Hers, and She doesn't necessarily want to put

down that pot of boiling milk just now, when you are calling

Her....but if you are REALLY Her VERY naughty baby, just like a 2

year old...in the terrible twoes...and you just keep crying and

yelling, even AFTER She's thrown you some toy...like a new boy

friend, or a new job...and you just keep calling and crying....SHE

HAS TO COME...CAUSE YOU ARE HER CHILD...AND WHEN SHE KNOWS YOU ARE

SERIOUS, SHE WILL COME...

 

This is NOT theory...this is FACT...Paramahansa Yogananda used that

very technique himself many many times to call His Beloved Divine

Mother...and She CAME...

 

not only that, dear sister, i too, have followed that advice of

Paramahansaji's...and called and called, and never gave up...and then

after some time...calling with tears in my eyes, crying desperately

at times for Mother to answer...to come to me... i too, have been

answered by that Same Beloved Divine Mother, and i have discovered

that that same Beloved Divine Mother is NONE OTHER, than our

Ammachi...that She is both Guru and Divine Mother for this child of

Hers...who bears witness of the fact of Her Answering...

 

Mother knows when to call Her child to come and be with Her

again...and when it is about that time, She sets up in the child's

mind this incredible longing for Her, which cannot be assuaged by ANY

of Her toys...

 

We think that we are calling Divine Mother to come and save us...or

our Guru to come and give us teachings...but REALLY, it is Mother

Herself who calls Herself, by inciting that strong longing in the

devotee's heart, through a number of life events, which point to the

fact that we are NOT in control of our lives really, and that there

IS a Power behind it all, which is hidden and yet approachable, and

kindly as well as loving in it's manifestation...even through the

difficult teachings which have been brought on by our own previous

karmas...

 

hoping that this may be of service to you, and anyone else who might

be interested........

 

In Divine Mother's Love,

and in Her Service,

as ever,

visvanathan

 

Om Amrtesvaryai Namah!

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Thank you for sharing that incredible explanation,

instruction and testimony! It was very heartwarming

to read about your own experience and helpful advice.

It is so thoughtful of you to take the time to write

all of that!

 

Namah Shivaya,

Gabriela

 

 

--- kasi_visvanath <kasi_visvanath wrote:

> Ammachi, "Erica"

> <sugarandbrine> wrote:

> > Namaste to all... _/\_

> >

> > I was wondering if anyone ever has moments of

> wavering faith.

>

> Om Amrtesvaryai Namah!

>

> Namaste!!

>

> we pray and trust that Divine Mother is blessing you

> and protecting

> you always!!

>

> dear sister, if you are wondering about moments of

> wavering...it's

> nearly universal i would think....it's rather like

> the passing phases

> of the moon...sometimes it's full moon, and very

> bright out; one may

> walk about without a flashlight (if you are in the

> country)...other

> times it will be new moon, or close thereabouts, and

> you will NOT be

> able to walk about without the help of some external

> light such as a

> street light or flashlight...

>

> our moods evolve in phases kind of like that old

> moon, dear sister,

> and not only that, they are quite strongly related

> TO the moon and

> her phases, as well as her progression through the

> various

> signs/houses of the zodiac....if we look at life

> through the Vedic

> astrology lens, we will see that everything moves in

> cycles, just

> like the planets move in cycles...we are taught that

> even time is

> cyclical, rather than linear as westerners usually

> believe...we

> believe that what goes around comes around so to

> speak...if we sow,

> then we shall have to reap later...if good acts,

> then good karmas

> will result, whereas if negative or dangerous acts,

> then kukarmas

> (negative karmas) will result.

>

> Now, as the planets and moon revolve about their

> orbits, they are

> quietly but surely activating various parts of

> people's lives,

> depending upon the birth placements of those planets

> and upon the

> nature of the Ascendent (the sign which was rising

> in the east upon

> the moment of birth). Also we will have to consider

> the Nakshatra

> (there are 27...(about 2 1/2 per zodiacal

> sign)...and the "dasa"

> periods..the life periods ruled by the planets in

> their turn.

>

> certain moon placements will result in certain kinds

> of results as

> per the character and personality of the

> native...just as various

> rising signs will describe the physical build and so

> on of the native.

>

> now, as the moon travels in it's great arc through

> the heavens every

> 27-8 days, it describes a 360 degree circle more or

> less...actually a

> kind of ellipse....now we get to the houses...in our

> tradition it is

> taught that as the moon passes through the 7th and

> 8th houses from

> its birth placement, that the native will be

> undergoing definite

> challenges...perhaps to her safety...there might be

> an accident, or

> to her health...(i often get bad migraines when moon

> is in 7th and

> 8th houses...) This transit however may just result

> in one's feeling

> rather "blah"...and maybe a little depressed...and

> one might very

> well have trouble feeling connected to Amma through

> this time....as

> moon at that time is in a very difficult place for

> one...(and moon is

> the indicator of the heart/mind!!) so when it is in

> a challenging

> place you may easily have challenges to your clarity

> of mind...to

> your feelings of devotion and so on...

>

> so what all this jyotish (vedic astrology) stuff is,

> is just an

> indicator of how we go through these ever repeating

> rhythms in body

> feelings, in mental clarity and so on...it's

> natural.

>

> one would suggest to just keep on doing the

> practices which one might

> have learned...especially, one might have a picture

> of Amma, wherein

> She is giving you Darshan...(looking at you)...and

> spend quite some

> time everyday in front of that picture having a

> "dialogue" with

> Mother....while looking intently at Her

> picture...especially the eyes

> which are giving you darshan...just tell Her

> whatever is in your

> heart, in the full understanding that Amma will hear

> your

> calls...even if you can't really believe that Amma

> will hear your

> calls, she really will...so it's worth while to at

> least "pretend"

> that Amma will hear your calls, or to call out to

> Her AS IF She were

> to be right there in front of you...think of that

> picture of Amma as

> HER...looking intently into Her eyes...sometimes

> roaming blissfully

> over Her entire countenance...

>

> Just Ask Amma to grant you Pure Love of Her Lotus

> Feet...and that She

> might shower Her grace upon you that you may always

> live entirely

> according to Her will...and KEEP ASKING THIS UNTIL

> YOU KNOW THAT AMMA

> HAS HEARD YOU....how can you tell that? if slowly

> but surely, or

> suddenly, your "feelings" change, and you can feel a

> rush of love

> pouring over you...or springing up like a fountain

> in your

> heart...and when you look at your Amma picture, you

> can SWEAR that

> She is looking right back at you and even winking

> sometimes, with

> that incredible Amma welcoming smile.....these are

> all hints that we

> might be more in tune with Her...

>

> PRAYER, dear sister will remedy all your complaints

> about

> wavering...only prayer, and Mother's grace may

> overcome those

> periodic waverings...and we only have PRAYER

> accessible to us.

>

> Often have i started out a session with Mother, in

> which at the

> beginning i might be feeling little or NO connection

> with Her...i

> might even be MAD at Her for some fancied wrongdoing

> of Hers, which

> might have resulted in trouble at work or so

> on...but IF i, even WITH

> all this baggage, and non connection have the

> patience to sit down

> and commune with Mother through her Picture on my

> Altar, or even just

> internally if i am away...if i just pray and pray

> and pray, asking

> Her to grant me pure love of Her Lotus

> Feet....asking Her to shower

> Her Grace upon me that i might do only Her will...if

> i DO this for a

> while, inevitably, after some time, She will respond

> in some

> way...and my bad feelings will just evaporate...like

> She just

> absorbed them or something...and i'll be feeling

> kind of blissful and

> high...tears and so on, from the feeling of Her

> Love....

>

> another good prayer is the one that Christ had

> suggested "O Lord not

> mine but THY Will be done"...this is wonderful when

> we need to work

> on our humility, because after a while we come to

> see that WHATEVER

> is happening IS at the will of the Divine....thus

> our practice at

> surrender will eventually help us to REALLY

> surrender...just as if we

> practise prostrations for a while, we will

> ultimately realise our own

> humility.....sometimes the "donkey" needs a good

> kick...

>

=== message truncated ===

 

 

 

 

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Namaste to all... _/\_

 

WOW! Thank you SO much -- from the bottom of my heart -- for your

posts. I feel Amma's love through her children. That is certain!

 

I am still feeling somewhat disconnected from Her, but have faith

that I will return. All things seem to go in cycles, be they large

ones or small ones. I only pray that this brings me closer to the

Divine Mother.

 

With love,

Erica

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