Account of a Dream: No. 2

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Saturday, October 11, 2003

 

Record of a dream

 

This dream occurred on 9 Oct 03 at around 4am in the morning. I was

woken up from deep sleep with the dream ending when my bedside alarm

rang at 4.30am. It appears to have been a simple dream sans the

complex symbolism prevalent in some of my previous dreams. Basically,

I had a darshan of Amma and that was it. Not surprisingly, given my

devotional bent, it proved to be a happy experience.

 

The dream begins with a scene showing my mother (biological) and

myself waiting at a train station. There is a resemblance to similar

stations I have been to in the past at some theme parks. We have come

to attend an Amma program and take darshan. This resort is apparently

the venue for Amma's program. A quick flashback within the dream:

before coming to the train station we had stopped to look at the hall

where Amma was expected to conduct Her program. But we had arrived

very early, a couple of hours ahead of Amma's scheduled arrival time

and the hall was then occupied by only a handful of scattered

devotees. The time of our arrival in the dream was between 12 noon

and 1pm and Amma's ETA was 3.30pm or so. Seeing that we were early,

my mother suggested that we head out to see the sights and return in

a couple of hours to catch darshan. That made sense to me and I

accepted the suggestion. That explains why we were in the station,

waiting for the toy train to arrive.

 

While waiting there I was seized by a sudden impulse to go back to

the hall once more. It was totally illogical since we had come from

that very place, minutes ago. My mother was not too keen to retrace

her steps on what seemed to be a pointless mission, but I dragged her

back against her wishes. We reentered the hall and it seemed as empty

as it had been before. I was about to conclude that my intuition had

been in error, when my eyes scanned the hall once again and spotted

Amma standing on the platform meant to accommodate Her Peetham

(seat). Amma had arrived, hours ahead of schedule. She appeared to

have taken all there by surprise, as there were no signs that the

usual preparations for Her arrival had been carried out. There was

not even a chair for Amma to sit on. It also seemed that there was no

urgency among the people assembled there to get anything done. I

surmised that the general passivity of the small gathering could be

attributed to the fact that they were all visitors just like I was.

 

Next thing I knew, a line began to form and Amma began to take people

in for darshan. This was an unusual darshan, in that it was done

standing up. I saw immediately that this was a great chance to grab

an unhurried darshan before the crowds arrived. So I got into line

with my (birth) mother behind me and, I might add <wink>, my

(spiritual) Mother in front of me. There were hardly 4-5 people in

the queue ahead of me. I calculated that my turn would come in

minutes.

 

I made efforts to compose myself. I said the prayer with which I

begin my normal workday:

 

"Shakti Do Jagadambe, Bhakti Do Jagadambe, Prem Do Jagadambe Ma,

 

Mujhe Vishwas Dekar Raksha Karo, Amriteshwari Jagadambe Ma"

 

Actually, that is not a formal prayer but the opening line from one

of Her Hindi bhajans. Anyway, it works for me. That, and:

 

"Lokaha Samastaha Sukino Bhavantu (x3),

 

Om Shree Gurubhyo Namah,

 

Om Shanti Shanti Shantihih"

 

is how I usually begin my day. Post-invocation, my mind cleared up to

a great extent and I was able to shut out most of the usual noise,

external and internal. I also prayed to Her to take charge of the

whole darshan because I usually mess up anything that I personally

take charge of; my capacity for imbecility is infinite.

 

Only a few images remained in my mind. One of those was the image of

Her feet. I resolved to use this opportunity to do a proper

prostration to Her. In the past, whenever I have been called upon to

prostrate, mostly on ceremonial occasions, I have generally gone

through the motions in a mechanical manner without any feeling or any

knowledge of why the exercise might prove useful. In recent times, I

have begun to learn how a prostration is actually to be carried out.

While my technique is still kindergarten-level, for the first time in

my life I am beginning to appreciate that there is a whole art and

science to what I had hitherto regarded as merely the business of

prostration.

 

I think it (my education on prostration) started with the visits to

the local temple that I instituted some time ago. After my first

lessons in surrendering my ego, albeit momentarily, at God/Amma's

Feet, I have gradually begun to apply them in a wider universe -

elders in the family and others. (I realize that I must come across

as hopelessly anthropomorphic to fans of the formless but I feel no

shame at all. 'Anthropomorphic and Unashamed': that has got to be the

Mother of All Unwieldy Slogans!)

 

My darshan turn came up, in short order. Amma hugged me as usual,

with the difference that She was not seated and I was not kneeling in

the customary fashion. This was a vertical hug, possibly unique (?)

in the annals of Amma's hugging history. After my hug, I executed my

plan to do a full-length prostration. I fell at Her feet with folded

hands and shut out all thought of the world. In my mind's eye I could

see Her Feet, resplendent with freshly anointed sandal-paste. I

touched the sandal-paste with my right ring finger and applied it to

my forehead. It was cool and I felt blessed. Time was ticking by and

awareness of the passing moments began to intrude on my

consciousness, but I forced myself with iron resolve to go ahead with

the routine that I had envisioned. I went through the "Shakti do..."

and the "Lokaha Samastaha…" invocations again. I was able to complete

the whole sequence in my best manner, totally focussed on the image

of Her feet and undistracted by anything else. When I finished, I

arose, feeling gratified that my longstanding desire to do a proper

prostration of Amma had found fruition.

 

I prepared to exit from the local theater of Her Grace and make way

for the next devotee but She did not let me go. She dragged me

forward by my shirt and spoke close to my ear. She asked me, with a

smile, in Malayalam if I had found the answer to the question that

She had asked me earlier in the day. At first I did not know what She

was talking about since I had only just met Her for the first time in

ages. I had certainly not seen Her earlier that morning when I was at

work. She repeated the question, Her smile signaling that this was

some kind of riddle for me to solve. I thought quickly through the

possibilities and was sure that She had never, physically, asked me

any question and definitely not that morning.

 

Having ruled out the literal, I fell back on theory and figured that

since Amma/God was omnipresent I had to track down any instance of

anyone asking me a question from that morning. Since I had spent the

morning at work (in my dream) I tried to recall all my conversations

with colleagues and co-workers. As I scanned my memory, I came across

one exchange that matched the description that Amma gave me. However

I was not that sure and I did not want to assume that I had been

correct in assuming that Amma had been speaking through the mouth of

my colleague in this instance, notwithstanding the general

theoretical assumption of omnipresence and universal knowledge.

 

So when Amma asked me for a third time if I had found the answer I

said "No" even though I now suspected I knew what She was referring

to. She asked once again, with a mischievous smile, if I really did

not know what She was talking about. I answered in the negative with

a straight face, wanting Her to demonstrate Her omniscience. I

experienced some discomfort in being economical with the truth when

answering the Divine Mother of the Universe but the desire to witness

a miracle was more overpowering. Finally, Amma revealed the answer to

me: It had been a question that was posed to me earlier during my

workday, something technical and hence serious but also partly

humorous. The humor arose out of the fact that there had been no

pressing need for my colleague to ask that question at the time. It

was merely a whimsical attempt to expose my lack of knowledge, en

passant, and put me in my place which of course is always at the

bottom, in the role of servant.

 

So Amma revealed the answer to the riddle using just two words in

English. The words were technical and related to my work and there

was zero probability of the words being part of her 'normal'

vocabulary. It was to me, a most salient demonstration of extra-

sensory perception. My long-suffered, deep desire for just such a

demonstration of non-locality, something violative of the classical

laws of physics, was satisfied. This was, not to put too fine a point

on it, a miracle. This darshan had turned out to be a 'dream' in

every sense of the word.

 

The little glimpse of the infinite that Amma bestowed on me left me

staggering, both literally and figuratively. Reeling, I made my way

off the platform, walking backwards with unsteady gait. I raised my

right hand in a weak and somewhat incongruous gesture, acknowledging

Her prowess.

 

The scene shifted back to the toy train station where this movie

began. My mother and I were passengers again, waiting to board. I was

still savoring the rich taste of the experience that I had, like

turning sugar over on my tongue, when the alarm went off and I awoke.

 

Om Amriteshwaryai Namah

 

fg

[Guest guest]

Wow!!!!!!