On being with Amma at San Ramon

[Guest guest]

Namah Shivaya to all of Amma's Children,

It has taken me a few days to integrate (read recuperate) from my

days with Amma at San Ramon. Those days were like a rough sea passage

with highs and lows as Amma sailed me through turbulent waters.

 

I had made a conscious resolve to attempt to not have expectations of

my time with Amma. In the past I would find myself thinking, "Oh I

hope I get a good darshan with Amma.I really want Amma to answer

my questions.Hope the experience is blissful." etc. I told myself

to just let it be, that it was in Amma's hands. A small attempt to

surrender to the moment.

 

So, what were my experiences? I can not put them into any sequence,

it is a memory of lessons offered, and learned (inspite of great

resistance on my part). So I offer a sampling of my days with my Most

Beloved Amma.

 

I experienced...

 

that I did not need to hustle to get a darshan token, get in line,

reserve my spot, etc. I could sit far from Amma, close my eyes, do

japa and meditate and She would be there with me.

 

that when Amma wants me physically near Her, She will put me there.

 

that there is more than enough of Amma to go around. That I did not

need to grab, or be greedy.

 

that the intensity of Her Divine Shakti is so potent, and all I have

to do to tap into it is to allow it to be.

 

that the grace filled, blissful moments where I experience Amma so

vividly are sometimes followed by experiences of dullness, pain, and

seperation.

 

that nothing stays the same.

 

that if I am quiet I can watch experiences and perceptions come and

go.

 

that doing seva can be when I am happiest, and it can be when Amma

sends me lessons delivered by others that are down right a pain in

the ego.

 

that being with my 14 year old daughter and Amma at a retreat is an

opportunity to sand blast my ego.

 

that where I experience Amma physically is in the chest as waves of

vibratory heat.

 

that bhajans are some of the most potent gifts that Amma offers us

for spiritual growth.

 

that Amma wants me to intesify my sadhana, to not waste time, to

realize how precious this human birth is, and use it wisely.

 

These are just a few of the thoughts that arise when I recollect this

precious jewel of a visit.

 

To my Most Beloved Satguru Amma, I bow down at Your lotus feet.

Jai Ma!

Omana

[Guest guest]

-

Omana

Ammachi

Wednesday, December 03, 2003 5:58 PM

On being with Amma at San Ramon

 

So beautifully described! Thank you for sharing; some of your lesson were

perfect reminders for me as well. I certainly understood the sand-blasting of

an ego image; and isn't it wonderful when we can actually see what the message

we're being given is? As I said, I feel like I've been sand-blasted lately and

am so truly grateful- there is such an alertness in this trying period that I I

can honestly respond "Yes, that particular button is still a hot one for me,

Mother; I'll work on it (and on that button, and that one, and that one....".

I'd always heard that we have "shadow" areas, but I'm getting the opportunity

for my shadow areas to stand front and center before me under very special flood

lights.

 

Always,

Snehalata

 

 

 

 

Namah Shivaya to all of Amma's Children,

It has taken me a few days to integrate (read recuperate) from my

days with Amma at San Ramon. Those days were like a rough sea passage

with highs and lows as Amma sailed me through turbulent waters.

 

I had made a conscious resolve to attempt to not have expectations of

my time with Amma. In the past I would find myself thinking, "Oh I

hope I get a good darshan with Amma.I really want Amma to answer

my questions.Hope the experience is blissful." etc. I told myself

to just let it be, that it was in Amma's hands. A small attempt to

surrender to the moment.

 

So, what were my experiences? I can not put them into any sequence,

it is a memory of lessons offered, and learned (inspite of great

resistance on my part). So I offer a sampling of my days with my Most

Beloved Amma.

 

I experienced...

 

that I did not need to hustle to get a darshan token, get in line,

reserve my spot, etc. I could sit far from Amma, close my eyes, do

japa and meditate and She would be there with me.

 

that when Amma wants me physically near Her, She will put me there.

 

that there is more than enough of Amma to go around. That I did not

need to grab, or be greedy.

 

that the intensity of Her Divine Shakti is so potent, and all I have

to do to tap into it is to allow it to be.

 

that the grace filled, blissful moments where I experience Amma so

vividly are sometimes followed by experiences of dullness, pain, and

seperation.

 

that nothing stays the same.

 

that if I am quiet I can watch experiences and perceptions come and

go.

 

that doing seva can be when I am happiest, and it can be when Amma

sends me lessons delivered by others that are down right a pain in

the ego.

 

that being with my 14 year old daughter and Amma at a retreat is an

opportunity to sand blast my ego.

 

that where I experience Amma physically is in the chest as waves of

vibratory heat.

 

that bhajans are some of the most potent gifts that Amma offers us

for spiritual growth.

 

that Amma wants me to intesify my sadhana, to not waste time, to

realize how precious this human birth is, and use it wisely.

 

These are just a few of the thoughts that arise when I recollect this

precious jewel of a visit.

 

To my Most Beloved Satguru Amma, I bow down at Your lotus feet.

Jai Ma!

Omana

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha!

Ammachi