Re:To Robin on paypal

October 26, 2004

Robin wrote:

I would ask that anyone who is able to help out please send to my paypal

account. My email is Lilymoonjewel. Any donations will be GREATLY appreciated.

Please forgive me for asking but I am at a loss at what my other options are

at this point.

Dear Robin ~ I can relate greatly to this fear as I am on ssdi and about a

third of my income goes to my medications and copays for doctors. I am always

short at the end of the month, and I too feel fearful. Can you share anything

more of your situation? Also, what I know about paypal accounts doesn't lead

me to think that someone could send a paypal donation by using your email.

Can you share your address? Or where your paypal account is located?

I send your frightened child a hug. Jai Ma ~ Linda

October 26, 2004

Dearest Nierika,

I will explain about my situation. I am a single mother of two girls Aliyah

(7) and Hannah (6) I have been on my own for about 2 1/2 years and I hold my

head high because I am so stubbornly independent. I pride myself on being on my

own and holding my family together. But I guess what it really comes comes down

too is that I was never alone in the first place. That Amma has always been with

me from the very beginning. I have recently strayed from my path and feel like I

have left myself down. I say myself because when I told my friend about letting

Amma down, she told me that I could never let her down, but I can certainly let

myself down and have. But every time I try to get back on track.....there she is

....... forever waiting for me to grasp the hand that she reached out to me in a

dream. When I feel so far away from her, I think of her, and I can forever feel

her around me. I just have to stop rushing around and be still...and I feel her.

I have came to realize that my pride

and stubbornness have to be sat aside and that I have to ask for help for once

before things get worst than they already are. It was a lesson in that nothing

is within my power or control and that it is up to God to see fit what happens.

I have to let go and swallow my pride. I had to realize that even someone who is

strong willed needs help sometimes. I recently went to get a pap smear down

about three weeks ago and it came back abnormal, so I had to get another one

taken and they told me I have pre-cancerous cells on the cervix. I have to go

back in three months to get another check up and possibly a biopsy. But that is

the least of my worries. The same night I had two parent-teacher conferences and

one daughter is doing alright, but having trouble in math and my other daughter

is having real trouble in a lot of subjects. It made me break down. I kept

thinking .... God ... do what you want to me but PLEASE.... leave my children

alone.... she is getting a little help with some

reading and math now...but I don't know that it will be enough.... I talked to

my mom... and I cried out to her that Aliyah is just like me when I was

younger... it was like I could see her whole life ahead of her...countless

defeat... low self esteem... having to work so much harder than the other

kids.....it goes SO much deeper than this.... It breaks my heart completely. I

don't cry for me but I cry for her. Financially I am SUPPOSED to get 650.00 a

month from my ex. but he has been sending VERY little to help out the past few

months 300.00 at first now only 200.00 for a family of three. Rent ALONE is

550.00 a month and if I don't pay on the 15 of the month I will be evicted. I

tried to get on food stamps but they say I am 200 dollars over there quota...

Anyway with his paychecks dwindling down it has been getting tighter and tighter

until its just too tight to breathe. I have garnished his wages recently but the

lady said she has a pile of paper work in front of her and that it

could take awhile. And even then I won't get the full 650.00 because he doesn't

make enough, he was laid off of his other job, he doesn't attempt to find

another. But at least I'll know when to expect the check. I don't have enough

for groceries, Rent, and I'm already behind on their daycare to where if it gets

too far behind they won't let me bring them back. (They go to a morning and

afternoon program though the YMCA) If I can't bring them back I can't work and

if I can't work I won't have a job to go to soon. Its all a domino effect. I am

already way behind on electric and utilities etc. I have never been this behind

before in my life and to be on my own while it is happening is down right scary.

I had sheer fear in my belly all day from it. Its constantly hanging over my

head. I just want to be even, not rich, just able to pay my bills. Me nor my

daughters have been able to buy clothes for school, I can't even buy silly

things like socks and under ware which are overdue, much

less the pants my daughters wear with holes in them. Aliyah is having a

birthday coming up Nov 22 and she is upset that she will only get one present...

what I hate to tell her is that she might not be able to get anything until

later. I am trying to have a family adopt me for Christmas through the salvation

army or the school and trying to see if I can get on toy town, I had done this

once a few years back and they are allowed two toys a piece. I just feel

defeated. Tired. In my heart, my mind and in my soul. I'm at a loss. I have to

admit I had a small light shine on me when I received a COL from someone on the

group. It was like they knew exactly what to say at the right time. They showed

me that there are three solutions to a problem. It just woke me up and gave me

some hope. It was Amma. I'm not asking for pity, just some compassion and help.

I need help. In anyway that someone can be helped by angels. Prayers would be

most helpful.

I am not sure how the paypal works ... I think you just go to paypal.com and

look up lilymoonjewel and put in any donation... I have only done this once

before. My address is Robin Wilson 2258 Campus Dr. St Charles MO. 63301 Prayers

would be nice.

Surrendering at Amma's Feet

Robin

nierika wrote:

Robin wrote:

I would ask that anyone who is able to help out please send to my paypal

account. My email is Lilymoonjewel. Any donations will be GREATLY appreciated.

Please forgive me for asking but I am at a loss at what my other options are

at this point.

Dear Robin ~ I can relate greatly to this fear as I am on ssdi and about a

third of my income goes to my medications and copays for doctors. I am always

short at the end of the month, and I too feel fearful. Can you share anything

more of your situation? Also, what I know about paypal accounts doesn't lead

me to think that someone could send a paypal donation by using your email.

Can you share your address? Or where your paypal account is located?

I send your frightened child a hug. Jai Ma ~ Linda

Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha!

Ammachi/

Ammachi

October 26, 2004

Namaste Robin and everyone.

I've not posted any to this list before, but I felt compelled to reply to this

e-mail. I know your pain, Robin. I've been there, done that, and I am just as

stubborn and proud as you are. It's rough...but you can and you will get

through it.

If I might offer a few small suggestions...and these are things that I had to

examine when I was in your situation, along with ideas that other people threw

at me.

In regards to money...do every little bit that you can to be frugal. Any

expenses that are not necessary or requirements, try to do away with. Internet,

cable TV, fast food, brand name grocery items, etc. (Some of this you may

already be doing, I realize...but I am just stating anything that I can think

of, in the hopes that maybe at least one option could be doable for you.)

Have you tried to get on WIC? If not, call your local Health Dept. and inquire

about this program. Their income guidelines tend to not be as strict as

guidelines for qualifying for food stamps. (I had the same happen to me before

- they said I made too much money, yet I qualified for WIC vouchers.) It won't

cover everything, but it gives you a break from some of the basics needed for

you and your children. (I believe the cut-off age is 6. My son is 4 and I am

still able to get WIC for him.)

If you have trouble with groceries, find out if any of the churches or soup

kitchens/food kitchens in the area offer any kind of assistance. (Even though

Human Services has turned you down for food stamps, I would still give them a

call and ask them about any of the local resources available.) Another option

is to speak with the Red Cross. I knew a couple who went through a very hard

time, and at one point, they had no money for groceries. The Red Cross spoke

with them, and provided them with a few boxes of canned and boxed foods, to help

them out.

In regards to rent, have you tried to get onto the Section 8 program? You can

find out more about it through your local Housing Authority office. Usually the

waiting list is rather long, in some areas, but still...put your name on it

ASAP. You never know when you might need that type of assistance in the future.

You spoke of your mother...does she know of your situation? Will she (or anyone

else) help you financially? Will they be able to provide a home for you and

your children if you are evicted? If so, then at this point, with money being

so tight, it might be a good idea to simply move out and live with them until

you can get back up on your feet and carry on.

If that's not an option, and there is absolutely nowhere for you to turn

to...try looking into some of the income-based apartments in your area. If you

are unaware of if there are any, again...call Social Services, Human Services,

Housing Authority, etc. and they will be able to tell you. Some of them don't

require deposits, or only require the first month up front.

Talk to your landlord....explain to them what is going on. Try not to give them

a sob-story, but just explain to them truthfully, your situation, and find out

if there is a way that they can work something out with you.

In regards to your daughter and schooling...love, that's the least of your

problems right now. Try not to focus on that, she may end up sensing it, and

ultimately feel like the problems that are going on right now are related to

her, or have the feeling of being a failure. I am in no way trying to say that

you are imposing these feelings on her. But, when we feel despair and like

there is no way out...when we are depressed, worried, and scared for our family

and our quality of life - children sense this. They are much keener than we

sometimes give them credit for. Right now...hold those two beautiful angels

tightly to your chest every chance you get, and be thankful that were blessed

with such beings in your life, and be thankful that they are healthy and that

they are yours.

Is there anyone (family or friend) that could watch your children for you? Even

if part-time, so that you could cut down or eliminate altogether, your child

care costs? Also, look into state-sponsored childcare and assistance for

childcare tuition. I'm not sure what agency would handle this in your area, but

you can contact Children or Human Services, and they should have more

information on this. Also inquire within the YMCA about day care scholarship

programs, or hardship assistance. The Y does offer scholarships for

memberships, but maybe since you have been a member of the daycare program

already, they will be willing to work with you. Offer your services as a

volunteer there, as well.

For help with purchasing clothing, try hitting up yard sales and rummage sales.

Goodwill and Salvation Army stores are also good sources...flea markets, as

well.

Here are some links that you may want to check into:

Childcare/DayCare Resources- http://singleparents.about.com/od/childcaredaycare/

Resources for Low Income Families -

http://singleparents.about.com/od/familyservicessupport/a/lowincomehelp.htm

Frugal Household - http://frugalliving.about.com/od/frugalhousehold/

A Poor Man's Ways - Rich or Poor, You Have to Make Your Choices -

http://frugalliving.about.com/cs/specialreading/a/090203a.htm

How To Save on Food - http://frugalliving.about.com/od/howtosaveonfood/

I hope I haven't overloaded you here...I just wanted to be able to give you as

much information as I could, to arm you with, and so that you could possibly

make some changes in your life, and with your situation. Brightest of blessings

to you, and may Amma always be with you.

**hugs**

Bela

-

Robin Wilson

Ammachi

Tuesday, October 26, 2004 10:23 PM

Re: Re:To Robin on paypal