Guest guest Posted November 29, 2004 Report Share Posted November 29, 2004 Namah Shivayah It's late now and I can't sleep, due to a cough I have picked up at the programs somewhere. This seems to be a pattern for me: I get sick very shortly after seeing Ma. I'm not sure if it is because I do not eat nor sleep properly, or if something else is going on, but whatever it is, I don't like it! 8P Sorry that I missed my big sis Jyotsna...wahhh! * I was so lucky this retreat...! I was blessed to be able to garland Amma for the Saturday night pada puja...I don't think I have been that nervous since my music performance days when I would go on stage and play -- alone -- for hundreds of people. I could feel my entire body shaking, and I had to keep on telling my knees to stay still, lest they buckle underneath me. I kept thinking about all of the things everyone told me...garland after the flowers on Amma's feet...put it over Her bun not on top of Her bun...don't step on the saree...make sure it is straight...this child could have worried herself to death. But as I stood there and saw Amma before me, my worries all but melted away. I did breathe a sigh of relief when I saw that I'd gotten it over Amma's bun though. And I got a smooch on the cheek to boot. AHH! Bliss! * Speaking of smooches on cheeks, our Bala is a little rascal. He was stealing cheek kisses from Amma and getting scolded! I tell you, to see Bala look up to Ma is a beautiful sight to behold. So much love on his face...She truly is his Mother... * Amma asked for MORE people to hug on Friday night. Everyone had their darshan and Amma asked for people to come back around for a quick hug...it was awe-inspiring for me, to see such complete and utter selflessness in action. Amma knew that Her children were starving for just a little bit more attention, and She gave it without question. The program went until nearly five in the morning. My goodness! * Swami Dayamrita gave a beautiful talk for satsang on Saturday evening. Personally, I always find his talks to be very giving of himself and very open. Honest. He mentioned that the first time he ever met Amma, She said, "My child, you cannot hide anything from me!" and the rest is history, as they say. * Last night at Devi Bhava, the most enjoyable thing for me was to sit and watch as The Dotted Ones came off of the stage. I've enjoyed doing this before, but last night was so special. Amma was beautiful in a purple saree. * I can't believe that it is going to be so many months until I can see Amma again...sometime over the weekend someone mentioned (was it one of the swamis?? It seems to have meshed together...) that being attached to Amma's physical form is necessary because being attached in this way also means we are attached to God. Mmmmhmm! It is so very strange, but I am starting to use Amma's US visits as 'markers' for my year. Holiday time starts with Amma's Detroit visit. The year is halfway over when Amma comes in the summertime. I feel as if my goal is to stretch the bliss. At first, I was stretching it from the point of my hug from Amma just enough to stay in the hall. I tried to stretch my bliss out at least that much. Now that part comes easy, and I am trying to stretch my bliss out even further, now that I am back in Real Life. * Last night, I left Devi Bhava early, which is not something that I normally do but last night it just felt right. I simply said, "Bye Amma. See you next Summer. I know that you are always here, so I am going to try not to miss you too much." Maybe I was simply trying to make it less painful, because Devi Bhava ending in NYC was so painful for me over the summer...I cried and cried and cried because I didn't want Amma to leave me. I was exactly like a child who is left with the babysitter and watches its mother walk through the door, while the child stomps its feet and peers through the window hoping mom will change her mind. But Amma always comes back because She really doesn't leave us. Ever. With love, Stretching with all my might, Erica Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2004 Report Share Posted November 30, 2004 Dear Erica, Thanks for the wonderful stories. So glad you had such an intimate time with Mother. It is so amazing to me that to each of Her children She is their very own. So close to all "individually" and the center of each "individual" heart. Guess only God can do that. Also, the way She can speak to us, so loud and clear, without saying a word. Jai Ma prasadini Erica wrote: > > Namah Shivayah > > It's late now and I can't sleep, due to a cough I have picked up at > the programs somewhere. This seems to be a pattern for me: I get > sick very shortly after seeing Ma. I'm not sure if it is because I > do not eat nor sleep properly, or if something else is going on, but > whatever it is, I don't like it! 8P > > Sorry that I missed my big sis Jyotsna...wahhh! > > * I was so lucky this retreat...! I was blessed to be able to > garland Amma for the Saturday night pada puja...I don't think I have > been that nervous since my music performance days when I would go on > stage and play -- alone -- for hundreds of people. I could feel my > entire body shaking, and I had to keep on telling my knees to stay > still, lest they buckle underneath me. I kept thinking about all of > the things everyone told me...garland after the flowers on Amma's > feet...put it over Her bun not on top of Her bun...don't step on the > saree...make sure it is straight...this child could have worried > herself to death. But as I stood there and saw Amma before me, my > worries all but melted away. I did breathe a sigh of relief when I > saw that I'd gotten it over Amma's bun though. And I got a smooch > on the cheek to boot. AHH! Bliss! > > * Speaking of smooches on cheeks, our Bala is a little rascal. He > was stealing cheek kisses from Amma and getting scolded! I tell you, > to see Bala look up to Ma is a beautiful sight to behold. So much > love on his face...She truly is his Mother... > > * Amma asked for MORE people to hug on Friday night. Everyone had > their darshan and Amma asked for people to come back around for a > quick hug...it was awe-inspiring for me, to see such complete and > utter selflessness in action. Amma knew that Her children were > starving for just a little bit more attention, and She gave it > without question. The program went until nearly five in the morning. > My goodness! > > * Swami Dayamrita gave a beautiful talk for satsang on Saturday > evening. Personally, I always find his talks to be very giving of > himself and very open. Honest. He mentioned that the first time he > ever met Amma, She said, "My child, you cannot hide anything from > me!" and the rest is history, as they say. > > * Last night at Devi Bhava, the most enjoyable thing for me was to > sit and watch as The Dotted Ones came off of the stage. I've enjoyed > doing this before, but last night was so special. Amma was beautiful > in a purple saree. > > * I can't believe that it is going to be so many months until I can > see Amma again...sometime over the weekend someone mentioned (was it > one of the swamis?? It seems to have meshed together...) that being > attached to Amma's physical form is necessary because being attached > in this way also means we are attached to God. Mmmmhmm! It is so > very strange, but I am starting to use Amma's US visits as 'markers' > for my year. Holiday time starts with Amma's Detroit visit. The year > is halfway over when Amma comes in the summertime. I feel as if my > goal is to stretch the bliss. At first, I was stretching it from the > point of my hug from Amma just enough to stay in the hall. I tried > to stretch my bliss out at least that much. Now that part comes > easy, and I am trying to stretch my bliss out even further, now that > I am back in Real Life. > > * Last night, I left Devi Bhava early, which is not something that I > normally do but last night it just felt right. I simply said, "Bye > Amma. See you next Summer. I know that you are always here, so I am > going to try not to miss you too much." Maybe I was simply trying to > make it less painful, because Devi Bhava ending in NYC was so > painful for me over the summer...I cried and cried and cried because > I didn't want Amma to leave me. I was exactly like a child who is > left with the babysitter and watches its mother walk through the > door, while the child stomps its feet and peers through the window > hoping mom will change her mind. But Amma always comes back because > She really doesn't leave us. Ever. > > With love, > Stretching with all my might, > Erica > > > > > > Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha! > > > Sponsor > <http://us.ard./SIG=129umc4e5/M=296572.5585671.6651487.3001176/D=groups\ /S=1705075991:HM/EXP=1101875351/A=2343726/R=0/SIG=12ig6cm67/*http://clk.atdmt.co\ m/VON/go/yhxxxvon01900091von/direct/01/&time=1101788951194158> > > > Get unlimited calls to > > U.S./Canada > > <http://us.ard./SIG=129umc4e5/M=296572.5585671.6651487.3001176/D=groups\ /S=1705075991:HM/EXP=1101875351/A=2343726/R=1/SIG=12ig6cm67/*http://clk.atdmt.co\ m/VON/go/yhxxxvon01900091von/direct/01/&time=1101788951194158> > > > > ------ > Links > > * > Ammachi/ > > * > Ammachi > <Ammachi?subject=Un> > > * Terms of > Service <>. > > > . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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