Kali Amma!

[Guest guest]

Dear siblings of Amma...

 

as promised, here is the first of this child's experiences of Amma's Divine

form... first, let me relate something from my childhood...

 

i started learning yoga at school at the age of 9, after my father insisted its

good for health. i enjoyed it a lot & practiced meditation at home & at our

family's Kali temple at my mother's native home. sometimes, when the meditation

sessions were particularly intense, i remember hearing two distinct sounds, that

were simply unforgettable. as i child, i never knew what they were, nor did i

ask anyone, as i found it difficult to express them. one sounded like a earth

shattering growl & another sounded like the word "hum" (with the "u" as it

sounds in "boom"). it sounded frightening at times... but never bothered to

enquire, as i got accustomed to hearing it.. just considered it as another

passing cloud.

 

several years later... it was vacation time at college.. and like all vacations,

our gang of young devotees doing our graduation at cochin (where Amma's 50th

birthday celebrations were held) fled to Amritapuri (which was hardly 2 hours

drive away) to spent time there. but, for me this vacation was slightly

different from the earlier ones, bcoz... i just dont know what got into me, all

i could think of was about performing Kali sadhana (special practices done after

midnight to appease Kali). i took it for just another chilish spiritual

adventure, and did not give it much regard. one morning during the stay at

Amma's Ashram, i was going to the thidappali (where prasad is made for the puja

in the Kalari temple), when i suddenly stood still, i kind of lost my senses...

my head was spinning.. it could be from the lack of rest & sleep, i thought...

but, within a few moments, forgot the world around me, even the body no longer

seem to be there. all i could feel was some strong messages within... one of

which was to perform Kali Sadhana & and that i had been with Amma in my previous

births. after this brief loss, rested in front of the Kalari for few moments

until i regained my composure & went back to work in the press. i had decided

that i'll meet Swamiji later that day (i do not prefer to reveal his name... i

chose to meet him, bcoz, i knew he had seen Amma's Kali form before). later that

day, met him in his room & expressed my intense desire to perform practices

related to Kali. He looked at me for a while & said that i had done practices in

a previous birth. but, do not recommend any at this time, as the practices might

adversely effect my engineering graduation studies. He was excited as he spoke a

lot about Kali & mentioned that Amma is Kali Herself.

 

the conversation with Swamiji that night left a deep impression in my heart..

something had changed within.. i was determined.. now, i just had to see Her..

my Divine Mother, Kali. all i could think of was meeting Her in person. at that

point in time, i did not have the slightest idea about what i was going to

experience. i was aware that Amma knew my every thought, but, could not gain any

darshan in Her Kali form during the period of my stay at the Ashram. maybe She

wanted to see how dedicated i was. we received Amma's darshan as usual & left

for cochin after a week. the next saturday, i was attending the weekly bhajans

at the local ashram branch. the final bhajan was "jhilam jhilam..." which was

about Ma Kali. i was seated at the back end of the hall, with no one near me. it

was about the middle of the song when, the lights went out. the speakers were

running on battery. i felt an intense longing to see Amma.. with eyes closed, i

called Her with all my heart. at one point, i felt a growing presense before

me.. it was so strong, it forced me to come out of the state of absorption i was

in & opened my eyes..... i could not see any of the devotees in front.. just

effulgent light ....then 2 huge bare legs emerged from it a few meters ahead of

me... the figure loomed high.. it was tall, maybe around 30 feet or more, i had

to strain my head as i looked up... was simply petrified when i saw it..... it

was THE FORM... a dark female form with disheavelled hair... bones & skulls

hanging down.. i cannot describe how dreadful it looked.. wished i could run

away.. but my body would'nt budge... it felt like a immoveable corpse...the body

would'nt respond. at the same time, felt an electric shock pass thought my whole

system... like a thunderbolt had struck me. as i watched Her... She was

moving... the tongue was hanging down from Her mouth... it was so awsome, i had

no choice but to surrender.... soon my mind accepted the Form.. knew it was

Amma.. from Her eyes, just knew it was Her. soon the fear boiled down & was

replaced with love... Her intense compassion overwhelmed me. i too felt intense

love develop towards Her. then, saw Swamiji near Her left leg... who looked very

small in front of Her... saw him get absorbed into Her form. i could feel my

nervous system overflowing with energy.. as if blocked pipes all got open

suddenly & was flowing with light. what i felt within is inexpressible. felt

like i longer was there... it was just Her. it was so so moving (was not aware

of it then, but one of my friends told me later that i was crying continously

during & after the Kali bhajan). dont remember how long it went. when i opened

my eyes... the lights were back & saw the last of the devotees receive their

prasad... the bhajans were over & prasad distribution almost complete. the body

was still not responding to my commands. sat there with eyes closed for quite

some time. after everyone left, slowly got up, collected prasad from the plate

near Amma's photo & went home. on the way, eventhough it was dark, i felt only

light within & without... as if the whole world was Ma Kali's form & felt it was

overflowing with a heart warming effulgence everywhere i looked. knew i was in

love with Her. from that day, i started addressing Amma as "Kali Amma".

 

even today, that massive Form brings chills all over. but, m no longer

frightened, bcoz m in love with Her.

 

later came to know more about the sounds i used to hear during the meditation

sessions as a kid... that which sounded like a growl was Her laugher & "hum" was

the mantra syllable Kali utters.. when She awakens the kundalini.

 

if Amma wishes, will post more experiences in the future.

 

at Her Lotus Feet,

Her child.

 

 

[Guest guest]

You are very blessed. But I am sure that you know that.

 

Your sister,

 

Pahari Maa

 

On Jul 9, 2005, at 9:30 AM, B. Arun Raj wrote:

 

> Dear siblings of Amma...

>

> as promised, here is the first of this child's experiences of Amma's

> Divine form... first, let me relate something from my childhood...

>

> i started learning yoga at school at the age of 9, after my father

> insisted its good for health. i enjoyed it a lot & practiced

> meditation at home & at our family's Kali temple at my mother's native

> home. sometimes, when the meditation sessions were particularly

> intense, i remember hearing two distinct sounds, that were simply

> unforgettable. as i child, i never knew what they were, nor did i ask

> anyone, as i found it difficult to express them. one sounded like a

> earth shattering growl & another sounded like the word "hum" (with the

> "u" as it sounds in "boom"). it sounded frightening at times... but

> never bothered to enquire, as i got accustomed to hearing it.. just

> considered it as another passing cloud.

>

> several years later... it was vacation time at college.. and like all

> vacations, our gang of young devotees doing our graduation at cochin

> (where Amma's 50th birthday celebrations were held) fled to Amritapuri

> (which was hardly 2 hours drive away) to spent time there. but, for me

> this vacation was slightly different from the earlier ones, bcoz... i

> just dont know what got into me, all i could think of was about

> performing Kali sadhana (special practices done after midnight to

> appease Kali). i took it for just another chilish spiritual adventure,

> and did not give it much regard. one morning during the stay at Amma's

> Ashram, i was going to the thidappali (where prasad is made for the

> puja in the Kalari temple), when i suddenly stood still, i kind of

> lost my senses... my head was spinning.. it could be from the lack of

> rest & sleep, i thought... but, within a few moments, forgot the world

> around me, even the body no longer seem to be there. all i could feel

> was some strong messages within... one of which was to perform Kali

> Sadhana & and that i had been with Amma in my previous births. after

> this brief loss, rested in front of the Kalari for few moments until i

> regained my composure & went back to work in the press. i had decided

> that i'll meet Swamiji later that day (i do not prefer to reveal his

> name... i chose to meet him, bcoz, i knew he had seen Amma's Kali form

> before). later that day, met him in his room & expressed my intense

> desire to perform practices related to Kali. He looked at me for a

> while & said that i had done practices in a previous birth. but, do

> not recommend any at this time, as the practices might adversely

> effect my engineering graduation studies. He was excited as he spoke a

> lot about Kali & mentioned that Amma is Kali Herself.

>

> the conversation with Swamiji that night left a deep impression in my

> heart.. something had changed within.. i was determined.. now, i just

> had to see Her.. my Divine Mother, Kali. all i could think of was

> meeting Her in person.  at that point in time, i did not have the

> slightest idea about what i was going to experience. i was aware that

> Amma knew my every thought, but, could not gain any darshan in Her

> Kali form during the period of my stay at the Ashram. maybe She wanted

> to see how dedicated i was. we received Amma's darshan as usual & left

> for cochin after a week. the next saturday, i was attending the weekly

> bhajans at the local ashram branch. the final bhajan was "jhilam

> jhilam..." which was about Ma Kali. i was seated at the back end of

> the hall, with no one near me. it was about the middle of the song

> when, the lights went out. the speakers were running on battery. i

> felt an intense longing to see Amma.. with eyes closed, i called Her

> with all my heart. at one point, i felt a growing presense before me..

> it was so strong, it forced me to come out of the state of absorption

> i was in & opened my eyes..... i could not see any of the devotees in

> front.. just effulgent light ....then 2 huge bare legs emerged from it

> a few meters ahead of me...  the figure loomed high.. it was tall,

> maybe around 30 feet or more, i had to strain my head as i looked

> up... was simply petrified when i saw it..... it was THE FORM... a

> dark female form with disheavelled hair... bones & skulls hanging

> down.. i cannot describe how dreadful it looked.. wished i could run

> away.. but my body would'nt budge... it felt like a immoveable

> corpse...the body would'nt respond. at the same time, felt an electric

> shock pass thought my whole system... like a thunderbolt had struck

> me. as i watched Her... She was moving... the tongue was hanging down

> from Her mouth... it was so awsome, i had no choice but to

> surrender.... soon my mind accepted the Form.. knew it was Amma.. from

> Her eyes, just knew it was Her. soon the fear boiled down & was

> replaced with love... Her intense compassion overwhelmed me. i too

> felt intense love develop towards Her. then, saw Swamiji near Her left

> leg... who looked very small in front of Her... saw him get absorbed

> into Her form. i could feel my nervous system overflowing with

> energy.. as if blocked pipes all got open suddenly & was flowing with

> light. what i felt within is inexpressible. felt like i longer was

> there... it was just Her. it was so so moving (was not aware of it

> then, but one of my friends told me later that i was crying

> continously during & after the Kali bhajan). dont remember how long it

> went. when i opened my eyes... the lights were back & saw the last of

> the devotees receive their prasad... the bhajans were over & prasad

> distribution almost complete. the body was still not responding to my

> commands. sat there with eyes closed for quite some time. after

> everyone left, slowly got up, collected prasad from the plate near

> Amma's photo & went home. on the way, eventhough it was dark, i felt

> only light within & without... as if the whole world was Ma Kali's

> form & felt it was overflowing with a heart warming effulgence

> everywhere i looked. knew i was in love with Her. from that day, i

> started addressing Amma as "Kali Amma".

>

> even today, that massive Form brings chills all over. but, m no

> longer frightened, bcoz m in love with Her.

>

> later came to know more about the sounds i used to hear during the

> meditation sessions as a kid... that which sounded like a growl was

> Her laugher & "hum" was the mantra syllable Kali utters.. when She

> awakens the kundalini.

>

> if Amma wishes, will post more experiences in the future.

>

> at Her Lotus Feet,

> Her child.

>

>

>

>

>

> Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha!

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ▪  Visit your group "Ammachi" on the web.

>  

> ▪  

>  Ammachi

>  

> ▪   Terms of

> Service.

>

>

>

>

 

 

[Guest guest]

Namah Shivaya,

 

I appreciate so very much your sharing of Kali's

darshan! Do you know why the bhajan states, that the

sound "hrim" is associated with Kali?

 

Thank you,

 

Sweta

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Make your home page

http://www./r/hs

[Guest guest]

Ammachi, "B. Arun Raj" <arunraj@e...> wrote:

> Dear siblings of Amma...

>

 

Dear Arun Raj,

 

simply awesome story ... you are indeed blessed. Thanks for sharing

and inspiring this devotee.

 

Jai Ma!