To Arun Raj on Kali Amma story

[Guest guest]

Arun Raj wrote:

 

....several years later... it was vacation time at college.. and...our gang

of young devotees...fled to Amritapuri...but, for me this vacation was

slightly different from the earlier ones, bcoz... i just dont know what got

into me,

all i could think of was about performing Kali sadhana (special practices

done after midnight to appease Kali)...one morning during the stay at Amma's

Ashram,...i suddenly stood still, i kind of lost my senses...but, within a few

moments, forgot the world around me, even the body no longer seem to be

there. all i could feel was some strong messages within... one of which was to

perform Kali Sadhana & and that i had been with Amma in my previous births...

 

the conversation with Swamiji that night left a deep impression in my

heart.. something had changed within.. i was determined.. now, i just had to

see

Her.. my Divine Mother, Kali. all i could think of was meeting Her in

person....the next saturday, i was attending the weekly bhajans at the local

ashram

branch. the final bhajan was "jhilam jhilam..." which was about Ma Kali. i was

seated at the back end of the hall, with no one near me. it was about the

middle of the song when, the lights went out. the speakers were running on

battery. i felt an intense longing to see Amma.. with eyes closed, i called Her

with all my heart. at one point, i felt a growing presense before me.. it was

so strong, it forced me to come out of the state of absorption i was in &

opened my eyes..... i could not see any of the devotees in front.. just

effulgent

light ....then 2 huge bare legs emerged from it a few meters ahead of me...

the figure loomed high.. it was tall, maybe around 30 feet or more, i had to

strain my head as i looked up... was simply petrified when i saw it..... it

was THE FORM... a dark female form with disheavelled hair... bones & skulls

hanging down.. i cannot describe how dreadful it looked.. wished i could run

away.. but my body would'nt budge... it felt like a immoveable corpse...the

body would'nt respond. at the same time, felt an electric shock pass thought my

whole system... like a thunderbolt had struck me. as i watched Her... She

was moving... the tongue was hanging down from Her mouth... it was so awsome, i

had no choice but to surrender.... soon my mind accepted the Form.. knew it

was Amma.. from Her eyes, just knew it was Her. soon the fear boiled down &

was replaced with love... Her intense compassion overwhelmed me. i too felt

intense love develop towards Her. then, saw Swamiji near Her left leg... who

looked very small in front of Her... saw him get absorbed into Her form. i

could feel my nervous system overflowing with energy.. as if blocked pipes all

got open suddenly & was flowing with light...even today, that massive Form

brings chills all over. but, m no longer frightened, bcoz m in love with Her.

 

later came to know more about the sounds i used to hear during the

meditation sessions as a kid... that which sounded like a growl was Her laugher

&

"hum" was the mantra syllable Kali utters.. when She awakens the kundalini.

 

 

 

Dear Arun ~ for the sake of the stories I am collected, I copied your entire

post, but for the sake of brevity in responding here, I left some out. All I

can say is Wow! What an incredible experience you had ... and you had been

getting prepared for it for years by hearing the sounds during meditation, even

though you did not know what they were. One thing I wonder is what is the 30

feet high Kali about? Why not 20 feet, or 50? But everyone who has written

of seeing this enlarged version of Kali Ma always says 30 feet. It would be

very interesting to know what this is about. Also, I love the bhajan "Jilum,

jilum." Do you know which tape it is on?

 

Thank you so much for sharing this incredible, woundrous story with us. I am

overwhelmed.

Jai Kali Amma ~ Linda