Understnding Amma, was Leaving tomorrow, freaking out a little...

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Namah Shivaya

 

Can we understand Mother with the mind at all? We look at Her, siting up

there, giving hugs to everyone and we think, "wow, this is neat, but

why would anyone want to do that?" It's the way She gets into our

hearts. It's that magic thing She does that makes us different around

Her, and for having been around Her.

The first time I met Mother I was really sick and had been for years.

This was in the old days when Mother spent more time with us. I noticed

things like the way She smiled, Her hair, what She looked like, but I

pretty much felt nothing. It certainly wasn't instant love. I was so mad

at God for making me sick, and I wasn't looking for another guru. (Mine

had left his body.) As time went on I felt closer to Her. It was a

gradual thing. But when I first met Her there was no "Boing!!!! I'm in

love".

Mother has only given me snippets of who She is. Mere specks. They are

feelings and "knowings" that knock me on my tush.

It is all heart. The heart is pure, the mind is a clown. Through going

into our hearts She raises our consciousness so that we can see things

differently, so we can ride on that incredible wave of love, so that the

pull of Maya is lessened for a while. And if we are really lucky, She

turns us to mush.

How can one understand infinity or incredible unconditional love with

the mind? On a worldly level the mind is a fascinating and wonderful

and also troubling thing, but we can't use it to understand Mother.If we

understood Her only with the mind She would be merely "the Hugging

Saint". Through our hearts She draws us to Her and makes us like Her.

And hearts don't talk, thankfully.

Jai MA!

Prasadini

 

Adriane wrote:

 

>I think I know what you are talking about-this experience. I think I

>may have had something very similar.

>

>I truly cannot understand in my mind at all what She "is." I had an

>experience that probably would not make a lot of sense writing-it

>just had to do with how She is everywhere, all the time, and so many

>are having experiences with her simultaneously. (ok, so I AM trying

>to write about it.) And how She has ALWAYS been. Then I imagine what

>it's like to never be born again into the world as we know it. How is

>it to be just like, creation itself, blissful and yet not who you

>know yourself to be in this life? To no longer come back-especially

>when you think of your children, friends, etc-those you love.

>

>But I am nowhere near the goal. I've had a snapshot here or there. I

>had an out of body experience and told my mother. This was about 30

>yrs ago when I was first out on my own. She told me my father had the

>same experience about the time I did. I don't think that may mean

>anything. But the experience confirmed a "proof" to me of life after

>death. It was total freedom. So I believe those "almost died"

>stories, too.

>

>Yet I still cannot fully understand Amma. Swamiji told us that he

>does not even try to comprehend Amma with the mind as it simply is

>not possible.

>

>work in progress (and sometimes 3 steps back-maybe even 10!)

>in devotion to Amma,

>adriane

>

>Ammachi, "ammasiswari" <ammasiswari>

>

>