To Bela on letting go of others' negative energy

[Guest guest]

Bela wrote in response to post by Iswari:

 

....For years I had many problems getting along with my mother. She would

always insult and humiliate me. I grew up, and finally decided to just ignore

her and let her expend all of her negative energy in vain. Since then, and

since her finally realizing that SHE is the one left with that negative

energy, and that I've not absorbed any of it... she rarely talks to me in such

a

manner...

Ah, Dear Bela ~ I aspire to be where you are in relation to my mother. My

mother's "negativity" is so much more subtle ~ manipulation; making promises,

then taking them back with no regard for the consequences; insisting that she

"love's me, but then never calling me or having any contact with me. I am the

black sheep. I spent so many years working on my issues around my abusive

father, who was ever so much more dramatic; I didn't fully realize my mother's

role until I moved in with her for a year. But I do know that the more I

anguish over her treatment of me, the more I want her to love me as a mother,

the

more I am setting myself up for disappointment. For me, ignoring my mother

isn't so much the answer as ignoring the inner negative dialog about my own

unworthiness, my sorrow, my judgement of her. But you have given me renewed

hope and intention to deal with this and put it behind me, once and for all,

regardless of her behavior towards me.

 

Iwsari's story reminded me of a story I read about Neem Karoli Baba (I think

it was him). Anyway, he was in his simple ashram, lying on his blanket, and

two thugs came to rob him. Finding nothing of value, one of them hit him on

the right leg very hard with a club. When the thieves turned to go, Baba said

(paraphrase): wait, don't go ... here, you have not finished the job. And

Baba offered them his other leg, which one of the thieves obligingly struck

with

the club. Then one of Baba's devotees came in, witnessed the completion of

this drama, and drove the thieves away. But he was astonished at Baba's

equanimity in offering the thieves his other leg. This also reminds me of

Amma's

equanimity in the face of abuse, attempts to kill Her, attempts to discredit

Her, etc. She just ignores them and keeps on going about Her business of

guiding her children.

 

Jai Jai Ma ~ Linda