The only thing I ever wanted......

[Guest guest]

Namaste Everyone!!

 

 

Some of you have known me when my ex husband and I were still together

and going through a extremely difficult time living with his sister for almost

an entire year, it was a very tight squeeze with two families living together in

a small space. That was the time I started this list. We then moved in with my

parent into an even smaller amount of space for many months. We finally moved

into our own space only to end in divorce after 12 years. It was the most

difficult time in my life and my parents were to retire to Texas. I had never

lived on my own before, to make that decision was a large step and weight on my

shoulders. My parents moving away shattered my heart into pieces, and some of

you read about how abandoned I felt at the time. There were many holidays where

I felt I was on the outside looking in. I know and have always known that I made

the best choice, I have never been happier on my own, at least from my ex

husband, I love the freedom and my new found independence.

However, there was always the sadness in my heart of my family moving so far

away. I have endured so much in the past two years and even at this time the

burdens almost seem to much to bear. There are times I feel like giving up the

fight, loosing the battle and admitting defeat in the worst way, only to pull

myself just above that dangerous line once more to make it through another day

and my only comfort in Amma. I have never lost hope with Amma, always hope,

never giving up, someone will be there to lend a helping hand....and

suddenly...they they are, no rhyme or reason, just a fact. I don't know where I

would be without certain people in my life, certainly not where I am today. Even

people on this list have no idea how much the have influence me in one way or

another. Or maybe you do. I have an enormous amount of bliss in my heart. A

contentedness I haven't felt in years. A happiness. A joy. And even though it

will only last a short while, I prayed to Amma to let me ride the

wave of light heartedness for as long as it will let me, to let me float in the

bliss until if evaporates and dwindles. You see, I had the most beautiful

Christmas I could ever ask for, with my family visiting, we fell asleep with the

rain and awoke, fully surprised to a white Christmas, presents pack full under

the tree. For once I wasn't alone and I was right where I wanted to be.....with

my own family. We had the best Christmas dinner anyone could pray for, I saw a

side of my mother I hadn't really seen or noticed before. Perhaps it was just

that she felt thankful, as I did. It was a wonderful visit. The greatest gift

did not come in string ribbon, bows or colored paper. It came from the heart of

my parents.................there moving back....alone no more, help on the way,

and pure relief and bliss in my heart and on my mind. When they told me this a

huge weight had lifted off my shoulders. Literally. I don't have to do it on my

own anymore. Amma has given me the only thing I

ever wanted................my family back.

 

 

 

I bring in the New Year with happiness, hope, and love and with Amma

always within me. I pray you are all healthy and happy. I read that the Hindu

have a superstition on the New Year, whatever you are doing when the New Year

comes, that is what you will be doing all year. I hope that we are all

meditating!

 

Jai Jai Jai Ma!!!

 

Ever at Amma's most Holy, Holy Feet,

Robin

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

I don't know you Robin, but what touched me about your message was how

Amma is reaching you through your parents. How wonderful. Thank you

for encouraging us all to bring in the New Year with meditation.

 

 

On Dec 31, 2005, at 4:32 PM, Robin Wilson wrote:

 

> Namaste Everyone!!

>   

>   

>        Some of you have known me when my ex husband and I were still

> together and going through a extremely difficult time living with his

> sister for almost an entire year, it was a very tight squeeze with two

> families living together in a small space. That was the time I started

> this list. We then moved in with my parent into an even smaller amount

> of space for many months. We finally moved into our own space only to

> end in divorce after 12 years. It was the most difficult time in my

> life and my parents were to retire to Texas. I had never lived on my

> own before, to make that decision was a large step and weight on my

> shoulders. My parents moving away shattered my heart into pieces, and

> some of you read about how abandoned I felt at the time. There were

> many holidays where I felt I was on the outside looking in. I know and

> have always known that I made the best choice, I have never been

> happier on my own, at least from my ex husband, I love the freedom and

> my new found independence.

> However, there was always the sadness in my heart of my family moving

> so far away. I have endured so much in the past two years and even at

> this time the burdens almost seem to much to bear. There are times I

> feel like giving up the fight, loosing the battle and admitting defeat

> in the worst way, only to pull myself just above that dangerous line

> once more to make it through another day and my only comfort in Amma.

> I have never lost hope with Amma, always hope, never giving up,

> someone will be there to lend a helping hand....and suddenly...they

> they are, no rhyme or reason, just a fact. I don't know where I would

> be without certain people in my life, certainly not where I am today.

> Even people on this list have no idea how much the have influence me

> in one way or another. Or maybe you do. I have an enormous amount of

> bliss in my heart. A contentedness I haven't felt in years. A

> happiness. A joy. And even though it will only last a short while, I

> prayed to Amma to let me ride the

> wave of light heartedness for as long as it will let me, to let me

> float in the bliss until if evaporates and dwindles. You see, I had

> the most beautiful Christmas I could ever ask for, with my family

> visiting, we fell asleep with the rain and awoke, fully surprised to a

> white Christmas, presents pack full under the tree. For once I wasn't

> alone and I was right where I wanted to be.....with my own family. We

> had the best Christmas dinner anyone could pray for, I saw a side of

> my mother I hadn't really seen or noticed before. Perhaps it was just

> that she felt thankful, as I did. It was a wonderful visit. The

> greatest gift did not come in string ribbon, bows or colored paper. It

> came from the heart of my parents.................there moving

> back....alone no more, help on the way, and pure relief and bliss in

> my heart and on my mind. When they told me this a huge weight had

> lifted off my shoulders. Literally. I don't have to do it on my own

> anymore. Amma has given me the only thing I

> ever wanted................my family back.

>   

>   

>   

>        I bring in the New Year with happiness, hope, and love and

> with Amma always within me. I pray you are all healthy and happy. I

> read that the Hindu have a superstition on the New Year, whatever you

> are doing when the New Year comes, that is what you will be doing all

> year. I hope that we are all meditating!

>   

>   Jai Jai Jai Ma!!!

>   

>   Ever at Amma's most Holy, Holy Feet,

>                      Robin

>   

>      

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha!

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Mata amritanandamayi

>

>

>

>

>

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