To Nischala

[Guest guest]

Dear Nischala,

 

I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. It sounds like a very difficult time

for you , your brother and your family. Yet, there are so many opportunities

hidden within the most dark and difficult times..hope tends to shine it's rays

through the cracks in the walls of suffering in order to remind us that the sun

still shines beyond those walls...the sun is only temporarily hidden from view.

 

I have done years of hospice work, and I consider it to be such a gift to my

own growth. Life and death are never far from each other, and during the times

when they meet, the truth of things is revealed in many unanticipated ways. I

have noticed that first, everyone involved in the dying process (family,

friends, the dying person, ect,) will react to it in their own unique

way...often times with the same dysfunctional conditioned ways that they have

unconsciously learned throughout life. This makes for very interesting drama,

if you can try to witness it that way. There is not much you can do to change

the flow of the drama all at once, but things really do start to shift over

time, if there is someone such as yourself who is conscious to a certain extent,

and can assist in this process. The walls slowly begin to crumble, and the

light comes trickeling in. Mostly it is a very subtle process.

 

Of course, you must remember that Amma is the great director of the entire

play, and you are the instrument. As such, please remember that the outcome is

in Her hands, so the fruit is Hers. This makes it easier to accept whatever

plays out, no matter what the mind might think. It's all perfect in it's own

way. Often times, death is not at all perfect in the way that we believe it

should be. It can be messy, smelly, excruciating, dysfunctional and chaotic,

sandwiched in between periods of luminosity,deep peace, visionary insights, the

presence of angels and crumbling walls of resistance. Please try not to put the

pressure on yourself to make it "perfect", because our ideas of perfection are

always faulty, at best.

 

That being said, there are many ways to kind of sneak in the good stuff. Your

brother is probobly very aware of what is going on within him, and also he is

more sensitive to what is going on within the people around him. He is more

sensitive now, because the veil between the two worlds is thinner for him now.

If he is able to speak at all, you could gradually sit and hold his hand, and

when no one else is around, ask him how he is doing, and guide him gently toward

open ended conversations about his experience. He will let you know, if you

just give him the sacred space (simply a space filled with your love for him) in

which to do it. If he can not speak, he will definitely hear your words, either

whispered to him, or spoken silently from within your own heart to his.

You can send him energy silently through your hands. That alone is very

comforting.

You might try bringing in HIS music...people's choices don't change much

simply because they are dying. What music has he enjoyed throughout his life?

What makes him happy? I have found that we must respect people's

choices...their uniqueness, and serve them according to their needs, without

trying to impose our choices upon them.

 

This is true for your family as well. Underneath it all, we are all spiritual

beings, and we all need comfort amid the storms of life. It's not so much that

all of a sudden everyone will be wanting amma or any other spiritual master

necessarily, but they seek comfort each according to their own nature, and this

is where you can be of greatest assistance, dear sister. It's a wonderful idea

to lay a few books around, that address death, dying and spirituality in a

general way. Many people tend to fall back on the religion of their childhood;

some reach out for more...others remain closed. I have found that the force of

love is truly the greatest comfort of all. You can trust it, and trust that

Amma will be there within you, generating that force, and sending it out. They

are very fortunate to have you present, and if you do nothing else for your

brother, it is that force of love which has the greatest capacity to transform

his experience. You must trust that, and know that it

is enough. Occasionally though, you will receive a brilliant moment when

someone normally closed and unreceptive will unexpectedly sit with you and

discuss the orb of light they just saw hovering next to the bed, or simply be

witness to the unexpected opening of a heart and a mind that had once been

closed.

 

Mellow, calming music is great. Touch. Massage. Inner prayer. Hospice is a

wonderful support, and believe me, there will be resistance to that, but this

too will pass, and everyone will hold tightly to the support it brings. Humor

is also sooooo

important....everyone thinks that humor is somehow sacreligious, but is is a

very important part of the process, and life is very heavy and difficult without

it. Get support! You all need it, and it is there for you...don't try to do it

alone. Remember that Your Mother created the universe, and She sustains it with

a single thought, and the force of Love. It is She who is the truth behind all

this maya; look beyond the drama and see her beautiful smile, Her Lotus Feet.

She is our true strength.

 

I would be happy to talk to you, if you need some support. Please feel free

to e-mail me off digest, and I can give you my phone number so we can talk.

 

You and your family are in my prayers, Dear Sister.

 

With Much Love and Peace,

Sanatani

 

 

 

Nischala <nischala11 wrote:

Om Namah Shivaya,

 

I am wondering if anyone has any advice regarding how I may create a more

spiritual, uplifting environment for my brother who is in the hospital being

treated for Leukemia. Everyone in our family except myself are completely

non-religious, and are unable to maintain a positive outlook on his condition -

thus, the energy around him is very "heavy". Right now, the people taking care

of him are feeling very pessimistic and sorrowful, and this is affecting his

consciousness to such an extent that he is suffering from depression and will

not talk (of course, much of this is also related to the chemotherapy and the

shock of learning that he has a terminal illness).

 

Because no one in my family has a spiritual outlook on life, and no faith to

hold onto during this time, the negativity surrounding my brother is very

intense. I am seeking advice on how I may be able to uplift my brother's spirit

and create a more auspicious environment for him. I was thinking about bringing

him meditative music to relax and soothe him (such as Enya). Any other

suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I have never spoken to him about Amma,

and am not sure he would be receptive. Thus, I would also welcome ideas on how

to introduce someone who is agnostic/atheistic and wary of organized religion to

Amma.

 

Om Amriteswarayai Namaha,

 

Nischala

nischala11

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha!

 

 

 

Mata amritanandamayi

 

 

 

 

Visit your group "Ammachi" on the web.

 

Ammachi