From Prashanti Nilayam... September 2003

[Guest guest]

Source:

http://www.radiosai.org/journal/Prasanthi/Sept15/Musings.htm

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>From Prashanti Nilayam...

 

Special Feature Musings from Prasanthi Nilayam

 

PRASHANTI MUSINGS...

Loving Sai Ram, and greetings once again from Prashantinilayam.

 

It has been a long time since I talked to you, more than four months

in fact. As you all know, Swami left Puttaparthi for Brindavan soon

after Sivarathri. I was supposed to go too, but I had to stay back

since we were about to launch our broadcasts on AFRISTAR service to

Africa and Europe. There were several matters that needed my

personal attention, and I just could not take off till I had

completed all these tasks. Finally I was able to leave on 23rd March

and be once more in the physical presence of Bhagavan Baba. By the

way please note that right now, Radio Sai can be heard 24 hours

daily, from Ireland to Japan and in Africa too! Isn't that great?!

 

This summer was very different from the preceding ones, last year's,

for example. As you perhaps know, when Swami is in Brindavan, He

holds what are known as Trayee sessions that Swami's boys look

forward to very much. This year there were a few such sessions in

the beginning but soon they were suspended. No doubt there was wide-

spread disappointment but I personally was happy because to me it

seemed that Swami DID need physical rest.

 

Few have the foggiest idea of how heavy is Swami's physical load. He

is God in human form no doubt, but have we not heard Him tell us

again and again that where His body is concerned, He will not invoke

any of His special powers, leaving everything to His disciplined

routine? In practical terms, what it means is that His body too

requires rest because it too is bound by the limitations He has

ordained as Lord God, on all human bodies.

 

There was also another thing. Swami's knee appeared to be bothering

Him. He did not give any indication of it, but those who were in His

physical proximity knew about it. In fact, after He went to

Brindavan, Swami took the unusual step of using a golf cart to

return in the evening after Bhajans, from the Sai Ramesh Kishan Hall

to Trayee. After the Bhajans were over and after taking Aarathi,

Bhagavan would leave by the door behind Krishna's statue and then

ride the golf cart. Normally, Swami bends backwards in refusing any

aids or things like that. For example, when it drizzles and He is

walking, He flatly refuses umbrellas. If such a One was now using a

golf cart, it really meant He was having a lot of difficulty with

His physical body just as you and I would have.

 

Incidentally, this prompts me to narrate an incident that took place

in Brindavan. This happened before the hip fracture, and in fact

Warden Narasimha Murthy made a brief reference to it in his talk

which we have broadcast many, many times. This is what happened. One

day, upstairs in the Mandir, Swami was talking to some of the people

who work inside the Mandir. Swami asked one of them who serves

Bhagavan a lot, "What do you want?" This person replied, "I want

nothing Swami.Don't be shy. I will give you anything you want" -

that was Swami. The other person now said, "Swami, I really want

nothing. Why at all should I want anything when You are there for

me?No, no, that is different. Tell Me what you want at the

personal or material level. I shall give you immediately." This

loyal devotee then replied touching Bhagavan's knees, "Swami in that

case, please cure Yourself. I cannot bear to see You have a

problem." There were tears in the eyes of the devotee as he spoke.

Swami was deeply moved, obviously. Slowly He said to the others

present, "Look at this man! This is true devotion."

 

I narrate this incident for an important reason. This is the way one

becomes dear to the Lord. Now of course, people would immediately

say, "Listen, you are absolutely crazy. How many people can be

physically near to Swami and say such things? This clearly is not a

suitable way to become dear to the Lord." Legally perhaps, such an

argument would have validity. But we are here not talking of law but

about Spirituality. So, from a spiritual point of view, what lesson

does this incident have for us? Simply this:

 

1) We must wish for the well being of others without wishing

anything for ourselves.

2) We must also look upon the others as God. In that case, wishing

others well is the same as wishing Swami well. Let me illustrate

with an example.

 

There is a man and his mother is ill. He prays to God: "Lord, please

cure my mother. Physically she is the mother of this body, but in

terms of the love that she has showered on me, she is God

personified. In that sense, my prayer is, please cure Yourself! You

alone have the power to do that, and I can only pray. Kindly heed to

my prayers." Such things have worked in the past and will continue

to work in the future. Some people pray in a slightly different

manner asking that the illness be transferred to them. There are

many variations possible. What I am trying to drive at is that the

way to become dear to the Lord is via the Heart. It is the Heart to

Heart connection that offers the opportunity to become dear to the

Lord.

 

Let me get back to the Brindavan diary, if I may call it that. As

the month of May approached, rumours were in full swing. Some were

betting that there would be a Summer Course while others were busy

trying to detect signs of an impending Kodaikanal trip. True to His

nature, Swami kept both groups guessing! It is nice to play such

guessing games and look forward to such events, but I was concerned

from a different angle. To start with, both such events meant extra

physical strain for Swami. And then there was the expense. People

little realise how much money has to be spent for all this. It is

one thing if these were the only activities in the Avatar's Mission.

In the forties, in the days when Swami resided in the old Mandir,

things were different. At the present time, it is an altogether

different ball game. Swami has many educational institutions to run,

hospitals to look after, and added to all this, there is the massive

drinking water project for Madras. All these cost money, a lot of it

in fact. That is why I worried about additional financial burden.

 

Anyway, middle of May, Swami went to Kodaikanal, but as it turned

out, the stay was unusually brief. Presently I shall not say much

about the Kodaikanal part of the stay because we intend to broadcast

a whole series on it later. Let me just say that the timing of the

Kodai trip was such that it ruled out all possibility of a Summer

Course after that.

 

OK, came June, and it was time for a new academic year to start.

Normally, our Institute reopens on June first but this year, the

first of June happened to be a Sunday; the reopening was therefore

scheduled for Monday, 2nd June. On 4th June Swami was supposed to

visit the residence of the Chief Minister of Karnataka and on the

8th, He was supposed to make His annual visit to the Sai Darshan

Centre in Indiranagar in Bangalore. It was widely expected that

after these two engagements, Swami would leave for Puttaparthi. Of

course, the Bangalore people were praying to Swami that He should

extend His stay since He could rest properly and all that, but Baba

brushed aside all those entreaties saying, "You may not have work to

do but I have!" So it seemed very much on the cards that Swami would

leave say by 9th or 10th. The betting had started.

 

On June first, Sanjay Sahni the Principal of the Brindavan Campus,

prayed to Swami to come to the College and bless the commencement of

the new academic year with a Divine Discourse. In previous years,

Swami has done this many times. This time Swami said to Sanjay

Sahni, "You ask the students to assemble in the Sai Ramesh Kishen

Hall, and I shall speak to them here." Thus it was that we had a

special Divine Discourse on the morning of June 2nd. I believe we

have broadcast that Discourse, and you probably have heard it.

 

June 3rd went off as usual, and on June 4th we were all waiting for

Swami to come out in the morning for Darshan. He did not come out at

the usual time. May be He was busy and so we continued to wait. Ten

minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes and 40 minutes. No sign of Swami. We

were beginning to get worried. And then word came out from inside

the Mandir, "You can all disperse. Swami is busy and will not come

out in the morning. He will give Darshan later." And so we

dispersed. Some wondered whether Swami's absence was in any way

connected with His proposed visit to the house of the Chief

Minister. My mind worked differently. As I was going back to my

room, I was beginning to have some fears. This sort of thing, namely

Swami missing Darshan, had happened on rare occasions in Puttaparthi

earlier, and on those occasions, there was always a physical

problem; once it was with the eye. What was it now? Just at that

moment, Narasimha Murthy, the Warden of Brindavan who was walking

that way, whispered "I think Swami has had a fall." At that time, no

one really knew what had happened, and so this was I would say, an

inspired guess.

 

Around 8.30 AM, a few of us who have access went inside the Trayee

Mandir via the back door to get some authentic news. We discovered

that all doors leading to the upstairs where Swami's room is

located, were barred; no one could really go to Swami's room! Even

the so-called close people could not have access. All we could see

from downstairs, the circular central hall of Trayee that is, was

the door of Swami's room upstairs, and it was closed. So we all

waited below. We waited for one hour, two hours, three hours, and

the vigil went on and on. No one thought of breakfast, lunch or

whatever. Occasionally, we sipped water.

 

Around four O'clock in the evening, three people somehow managed to

go partially up the stairs near to Swami's room; their idea was to

somehow go to His room and find out if any help was required. This

process obviously generated some noise, and as a result, the door of

Swami's room opened. We who were watching from below became excited.

And through that door, Satya Jit who is with Swami all the time came

out. He beckoned the people who had come there to come inside.

Clearly, Swami wanted them to go in. They went and came out in five

minutes. We were told that Swami was fine and resting and would give

Darshan soon - that is all. We dispersed.

 

However, there was more to all this, as I discovered only much

later. Between 4.30 PM that Wednesday and night of that day, much

happened of which I was totally ignorant, though I was just a few

feet away in the Guest House. Next morning, as I was going for

Darshan, I was informed that there would be no Darshan. I then

immediately withdrew to my room. Sometime later, I went to the

office of Mr. C.Sreenivas to talk to him about something. I was

informed, "Mr. Sreenivas has gone to the General Hospital. He is not

here now. We do not know when he would be back." I did not attach

much significance to this answer since Sreenivas is connected with

the General Hospital in Whitefield, and it seemed a natural thing

for him to go there to attend to some matter or the other. Hours

passed and Sreenivas did not return, but this still did not arouse

any suspicion in me!

 

Around 1 PM, the Vice Chancellor Mr. Giri knocked on my door. I was

most surprised to see him there. He had come to Brindavan the

previous day to call on Swami, take His blessing and go to America

on a short trip. He could not see Swami, and so he cancelled his

trip at the very last minute. This I was not aware of. He now told

me, "Do you know Swami has had a fracture and has been moved to the

hospital for surgery?" I was stunned. There I was just a few feet

away and I knew nothing of what had happened. In a way, it was

because I was immersed in work. I am made that way, and I just do

not have time to look around or talk to people and fish for

information. Anyway, the Vice Chancellor and I decided immediately

that we would rush to the hospital. In our naiveté, we both assumed

that Swami would be operated in the Super Speciality Hospital. So we

rushed there. The hospital wore a normal look which sort of puzzled

me. If Swami is here and that too as a patient, this is not how the

hospital would be looking. What's going on? Just then we were

informed that Swami had been taken to the General Hospital. Suddenly

things began to fall into place. Sreenivas was absent because he was

setting things up in the General Hospital. It was, incidentally, a

Thursday. The authorities decided that the hospital would remain

closed that day. Around 10.30 or so, Swami was taken there, and by

the time the Vice Chancellor and I reached there, it was close to 3

PM. Just as our car approached the hospital, we found Seva Dals on

the road furiously waving our car away. And before we knew what was

happening, we saw a convoy emerge out of the hospital and drive

away. Strange, no ambulance. Nevertheless, it was clear that Swami

was being taken back to Trayee. We rushed behind that convoy, and by

the time we arrived, Swami had been taken to His room. It was all

over, in no time at all.

 

Two days later, Saturday that is, in the morning, I went inside

Trayee Mandir, just to be physically near Swami. I did not entertain

even the slimmest hope of seeing Him - it was just unreasonable to

have any such expectation. And you know what? Swami sent for three

of us who were waiting below, Dr. Safaya, the Vice Chancellor, and

myself. We went up, to Swami's room. This was the first time I had

entered it. I saw Swami lying in bed. It was a hospital ICU bed

meant for patients. It was almost a surrealistic sight. Swami was

wearing His robe. He was partially covered with a blanket the like

of which He had distributed in thousands. And He had a gorgeous

smile. I forgot all about His fracture. To me He looked like the

Lord reclining on His bed in the Ocean of Milk, as the scriptures

say He does. He did not give us any chance to ask any questions.

With surprise He asked the Vice Chancellor, "What, you did not go to

America?" And the Vice Chancellor replied, "How could I Swami, at a

time like this?" Swami was touched and replied, "Bangaru". I was

deeply moved and in tears. Swami then told us, "I am fine. I have to

be, bathed as I am in the torrent of Love" - Prema Pravaham was the

actual phrase He used. He then told us not to worry and we were

given permission to withdraw.

 

About a week later Darshan started, but in an unusual manner. It was

a Sunday I think, and the boys of the Brindavan campus were asked to

quietly come inside the Trayee Manidir and sit in the circular hall.

They then sang Bhajans. Swami came out of His room, stood in the

upper balcony, and gazed down with much love. Swami was not quite

OK, but it was obvious He just could not keep away from devotees and

His students. Soon, this became the new style, shall I say? Every

Thursday and Sunday, Swami would come out into the upper balcony,

while boys below sang Bhajans. Besides the students, a few devotees

were also permitted into the central hall. Slowly Bhagavan would

start going round the circular upper balcony. Half way across, He

would receive aarathai. And while completing the circuit and

returning to His room, He would, from upstairs, greet people below

and ask questions, like how is the Madras water project going, and

so on. Devotees below who were quite satisfied with just a glimpse

invariably found this too much and often wept like little children.

It was an amazing and a most moving sight. What about women? They

were gathered in the lawn outside, and Swami, after finishing His

Darshan from the upper circular veranda, would go into His room and

wave to the ladies outside from His window facing the garden.

 

This went on for a couple of weeks, and all the time, Swami kept

sending messages that He would soon come out. And it did happen

sooner than we expected. How? Well, there we have an example of the

Love of the Lord for His devotees. You see, moving about after a hip

fracture is no joke. First one walks with a walker and then one

takes a few steps. It is a process that takes weeks if not months.

Swami was short circuiting the entire process into days. And mind

you, He was not doing with His Divine powers, no way! Instead, He

spent a lot of time exercising Himself! How? Every morning, at four

AM, He would go round and round the upper balcony in Trayee for one

full hour! Imagine that, all so that He could give Darshan as early

as possible.

 

And then came finally the day when He went out from Trayee to the

Sai Ramesh Hall and the Sai Kishen Kalyana Mandapam for the first

time after the fracture. That happened as follows. In the third week

of June, a big group was supposed to come from Texas in America to

Puttaparthi - by that time, Swami was expected to be back. After the

fracture, a message was sent to the leader of the group to postpone

the trip, especially on account of the shortage of accommodation in

Whitefield. But the group did not pay heed and came anyway. When

they arrived, the locals asked, "What's the use of your coming?

Swami will not be giving Darshan for some time to come. You will not

be able to see Him nor stage the Bal Vikas play you have been

planning." And do you know what those devotees said? They said, "We

don't care about all that. If your father is not well, would you not

rush to be by his side? Swami is our Father, and that is why we have

come. To be near Him is important; the other things are not." They

were a model for all of us over there. They spent their time praying

and doing Seva. And the children kept on with their drama practice

even though according to all forecasts they did not have ghost of a

chance of staging the play.

 

Prayers never go in waste. As they say, prayer is God's only

weakness. And so it came to pass, that Swami suddenly

announced, "This Thursday, I shall give Darshan in the Sai Ramesh

Hall. I shall then go to the Kalyana Mandapam and see the play." The

reaction of the American devotees was electrifying - they were so

filled with joy. Came that Thursday, and Swami came out in the golf

cart, drove through Sai Ramesh Hall, and went into the Kalyana

Mandapam. And He sat there for the entire play. We who were there

just could not believe it. But that is Swami's compassion.

 

I guess there are other things I would like to say relating to the

fracture that Swami allowed to happen to His body but that would

have to wait for another talk. For the present let me just say this:

Through this hip fracture, Swami taught us all many new lessons. Of

course, the lessons would be evident only if we are sensitive enough

to observe, absorb and digest.

 

Hip fracture can be most painful. For sixteen hours or so, Swami

just ignored it, and later allowed it to be treated the way anyone

else would be treated for a similar fracture. And you know what? He

did not go to any fancy hospital or even to His own Super Speciality

Hospital but to the General Hospital [which incidentally started as

a tin shed with just one tube light three decades ago]. And in that

hospital, He was operated upon by the same orthopaedic surgeon who,

as a part of his normal duty operates on thousands of poor and needy

people. The same is true of the eye surgeon who operated on Swami's

eye that day. For this country, this is a most important lesson.

Even today, many of our VIPs simply dash off overseas for the

slightest treatment they need, sometimes for mere check-up. Or else,

a doctor is imported from overseas at enormous expense to the tax

payer.

 

Well, Swami chose to have administered to Him the same treatment in

the same hospital as all the poor who come to Him are treated. That,

for me, is one fantastic lesson. There are of course many other

lessons but about those, later.

 

Jai Sai Ram