Prof. Anil Kumar - Now or never

[Guest guest]

The Sunday Talk Given by Anil Kumar

“Now or Never”

December 7th, 2003

OM…OM…OM…

Sai Ram

With Pranams at the Lotus Feet of Bhagavan,

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Christmas SEASON

I welcome to you all to this morning’s study circle class. We hear from all

corners of the world that the Christmas season has already started.

Preparations are underway to ensure the excellent celebration of the Christmas

event. During this week’s session and those remaining before Christmas, let us

think along the lines of the Master, about the role of the Master in our lives.

Jesus is a Master. Ramakrishna Paramahamsa is a Master. Ramana Maharshi is a

Master. Bhagavan Baba is the Divine Master.

Certain things require Immediate Attention

This morning’s topic is “Now or Never”. We can afford to postpone certain

things. If I have a fever, I can have a tablet, a capsule, or syrup and consult

a doctor in the evening. It does not matter. For a headache even, to the extent

I can bear it, it is okay. But certain diseases require immediate attention and

an immediate treatment. Take for example appendicitis. It requires immediate

surgical treatment, failing which the patient collapses. Therefore certain

things in life need immediate attention. We cannot afford to postpone them. We

cannot afford to live in hope. We cannot afford to let them drag on.

So when I say “Now or

Never”, I mean that we should know the use, the importance and the significance

of all that is happening now. What is happening now? Where does its value lie?

Why should I not think of tomorrow? Why not think of the year 2010, by which

time when it arrives, I will be ready. No! When you are ready, things may not

be at your doorstep. A chance lost is lost forever and ever. An opportunity

given up may not come again. This moment, the present, is most valuable. Why?

I read the scriptures. I read the epics to have glimpses of Divinity. When I

read Ramayana, I imagine Ramachandra. I start thinking of Him, whom I never met

before. It is all mental, pictorial imagination. If I read the Bhagavatham,

naturally I think of Lord Krishna. It is the manifestation of the expression of

my imagination. I do not think the pictures drawn by other people are a reality

either. Each one goes on imagining in his own way. Each one depicts as per his

own level of understanding, as per his own apprehension, as per his own

conception.

So, no two minds are alike. No two minds think in the same direction. The way I

look at it is different from the way you look at it. Therefore, my imagination

of Krishna and my thoughts on Krishna are based on my own mental level of

understanding. My understanding of Jesus Christ is based on the Holy Scripture,

and also on the sermons that I heard every Sunday in church. The pastor speaks

to me every Sunday, full-throated, from the pulpit. That helps me to have an

idea of Jesus’ love and of Jesus’ sacrifice. It is true with every religion.

Guru Grantha,

Koran, or Dharmapada are valuable scriptures, which will help us to have some

idea of the great prophets and the great Incarnations of the past.

Now the moment is unique

But now, this moment is unique. This moment is very special. This moment is most

valuable. I think I am clear. We are contemporaries of the Avatar. We breathe

the same air. We tread along the same path. We move on the same plane. We have

an opportunity to communicate with Him. We have the opportunity to see Him as

many times as possible, for as long as it is possible. Therefore, to have a

rapport with the

Avatar of our times, to be in the Divine presence of the Avatar, to have been

privileged to listen to His message directly, is the most valuable thing in

this lifetime.

By “Now or

Never” I mean, if the value is not realised now, it will never be realised. You

cannot meet Jesus now. You cannot meet Buddha now. You cannot walk hand-in-hand

with Rama now. You cannot converse with Krishna directly in public. But you are

able to communicate with, you are able to see, you are able to experience, and

you are able to move hand-in-hand, day-in and day-out, with the

Avatar of today.

INVALUABLE EXPERIENCE

How shall I calculate its value? In terms of dollars, pounds or rupees? The

living experience with the Avatar is invisible, most invaluable, and

indefinable. Are we really conscious of the fact that we are in the midst of a

living Avatar? Are we conscious of the fact that we are here, with the Avatar,

who is giving and forgiving?

To be with Him, as His contemporary, is not given to everybody. Let us not

repeat the mistake of some of the devotees of illustrious Incarnations in the

past. Some of the devotees repented, regretted, and cried out loudly, for not

having been more intimate while they were privileged to be in the physical

proximity. When once this physical proximity is denied, when once this physical

proximity has been cut off, there is no point in shedding tears. There is no

point in feeling that, ‘I could have had more of Divinity had I been little

more careful.’ Life should not be one of regrets. Life should not be one of

repentance.

God is here Now

Therefore my friends, as we step into this holy period of the Christmas season,

let us know that God is here now. God is here now, in the form of the Divine

Master. Divinity as an Incarnation is only the manifestation of the essence of

the Divine. The essence of the Divine is omniscient, omnipotent, and

omnipresent. They are all the expressions, the qualities and the traits of the

Divine.

Whilst displaying those qualities, the Divinity moves amongst us sharing ideas,

teaching, consoling, soothing, commanding, cajoling, joking, singing, or

dining. This is the role of the Divine Master. We are in the company of the

Divine Master. We are the contemporaries of the Divine Master. And if we know

that, we are really very lucky. If we experience that, we are blessed people.

If we continue to live in the same experience, we are most fortunate. What

could be a greater benediction than to be experiencing this? What could be a

greater blessing than to think of Him this way?

“Now or Never”: If we do not realise it now, I am more than sure that we will

never realise it. In fact, the method of the Avatar is more complex than any

technology. We may be successful in trying to understand the technology related

to science, technology being the application of science. Through hard work and

industry, I may understand that technology. But the ways of the Avatar, the

ways of the Divine Master, are not so easily understood.

Direct contact with God

Each person interprets in his own way. I interpret the Ramayana in my own way. You interpret the

Ramayana in your own way. That is why we have many interpretations of the

Ramayana. You interpret the Gita in your own style. You understand the Gita in

your own way. There are so many interpretations and commentaries on the Gita.

We don’t have to depend on commentaries and interpretations, because we are in

the company of the talking God, the moving God, the loving God, and the living

God. We don’t have to rely on anybody. We don’t have to go through the books.

We don’t have to base our observations on interpretations. No. We have direct

contact.

When there are direct flights, you prefer to travel by them. You don’t wish to

alight at different places, and wait for a prolonged period of time to catch

the next flight, do you? You don’t. So living with God, living in the company

of the Divine Master, is a direct flight to the destination, by which you can

save time -- a straight flight. We should not ignore this fact.

Understanding God’s Words

The words of an Avatar

convey a hidden meaning, which I cannot understand straightaway. The mind is

capable of playing a mischievous game. Mind distorts. Mind deviates. Mind

diverts. Distortion and deviation are the qualities of the mind. Therefore to

say, “I know Baba is speaking to me,” “I heard Swami speaking to me,” “I know

what He meant,” are nonsensical utterances. Only a dunce would say that.

We cannot understand God’s words straightaway because there is a hidden secret.

Unless you have got vision, unless you have an open third eye, the wisdom eye,

it is not possible to get on to the same wavelength as that of the Divine

Master.

Let me give you one simple example: A Master has a number of devotees, who

follow him scrupulously, who are highly obedient to him, who are very loyal to

him. Suddenly this Master looks at a disciple and tells him, “Young man, be

here for four to six weeks more. Something may happen to you.”

“Oh, if I am going to be here for four to six weeks, something more is going to

happen to me. Yes, that is the sole purpose of my visit. I came all the way

from France. I am spending my time in the company of this Divine Master, who is

promising now that I will have an experience if I stay here for four to six

weeks more. Nice.”

So this man counts the days: first week over, second week over. From the third

week, tension starts mounting up: “What is it that is going to happen? What is

this that I am going to get? What is the promise that guru made? Will anything

happen at all? If nothing happens, what will happen as a result of four to six

weeks of extra stay here? I may lose my job. I may lose my money. It may cost

me heavily if the promise is denied.”

There is tension, worry, and anxiety. But something may happen. A streak of hope

lurks in his mind. So during the four to six weeks of extra time that he was

asked to stay in the presence of the Divine Master, he goes on like this, in

worry, anxiety, tension, expectation, demanding and challenging.

The guru understands the situation of such a fellow. He calls him one day and tells him,

“Look here, if you really want to go, please go. Don’t feel guilty for not

obeying my words, if you actually want to go. Don’t feel guilty if you want to

go. Feel free. Don’t have any feeling of guilt at all.”

“Oh! He’s given the green signal. Fine.” No more tension, no more worry. Then

that man came out and raised his hand to everybody saying, “I am going because

I have the permission of the guru to go.” And he leaves to go back to his

country, to France.

Then this guru starts talking to the other people, “Look here. See how you understand me.”

I am giving this example to remind ourselves that the words of the Divine Master

are mysterious, sometimes not understandable, inexplicable. We may have to read

between the lines. And at times we may miss the correct meaning altogether. It

is for that purpose I am giving this example.

And this Master starts talking to other disciples: “Here is a follower, whom I

asked to be here for four to six weeks more, leaving me now. Did I ever ask him

to go? No. Did I say that he should not follow my advice? No. All I said was,

‘If you want to go, you are free to go. Don’t feel guilty for not following my

advice.’ That’s all I said. I never wanted him to go. I never asked him not to

follow my advice. It is his decision. And he interpreted my words in accordance

with his convenience.”

‘In accordance with his convenience’ was because the mind is the centre of

management. Mind is the nucleus of manipulation and mismanagement. It is the

mind that creates a hell or a heaven, as the case may be. Our mind starts

interpreting Baba’s words in its own way, in a whimsical way, even though the

mind is a useless instrument for the purpose. Useless instrument! I cannot make

use of a thermometer to know the weight of my body. I cannot make use of the

weighing machine to know the temperature of my body. No madcap would ever do

it. Similarly, the mind is a very poor, useless instrument, which is unfit to

know the words of the Divine Master.

Because we have got used to this mind stuff, we understand in our way, in our

own style. We spoil other minds also. We call our own selves ‘mini-gurus’. In

our own humble way, we get lost, missing the very meaning, the depth and the

intensity of the meaning of the Divine Master.

Here is the Divine Master, who tells everybody that, ”Here is a person who

leaves me, though I never asked him to go. I never asked him not to follow me.

He missed out. Something was really going to happen in his life had he stayed

here. He has been waiting for enlightenment. He has been waiting for awakening.

I wanted him to be alert for that moment.”

Another example: We are waiting there in the railway platform for the train to

arrive. If I leave the railway station just before the train arrives at the

platform, I miss the train altogether.

There is a parable in the holy Bible. Some of the ladies were asked to wait to

receive the bridegroom. They were all awake then. But at the time of the

arrival of the bridegroom, they were all found sleeping.

The same thing is happening in our lives. We are inert; we are down; we are

passive; we are fast asleep at the important moment. Why am I telling you, my

friends? May this Christmas season help us to awaken, help us to be alert, to

be aware of the preciousness of the moment. If that is not done now, it can

never be done. That is the subject here,

“Now or Never”.

So something was to happen, and now this Guru is telling his disciples, “Boys,

that boy left this place. He interpreted my words as per his own style, as per

his own convenience, as per his own whimsical fantasies or fancies of his mind,

and he missed something very valuable. And this very missing is the punishment.”

 

The Divine Master doesn’t have to beat you. The Divine Master doesn’t have to

scold you. He doesn’t have to whip anybody. When that golden moment is missed,

in that very missing of it, there is the punishment.

“Swami, shall I go?” Swami remains silent.

“Swami, shall I go?”

“Oh yes, yes, you can do your work.”

“Swami, shall I go?”

“Your wish.”

‘Now, if I really want to go, what meaning shall I take? Swami said, “You go.”

Fine. Return tickets are ready. If I am very busy, fully occupied with my

business, what interpretation do I take? “Swami says, ‘Do your duty’, so I am

going.” See that. It’s all the gimmicks of the mind. Therefore my friends, the

Divine Master’s words are not that easily understood.

How To Understand the words of the Divine Master

We have to struggle. We have to pray. We have to pine. We have to yearn. We have

to meditate. By the process of meditation, by contemplation, we understand

better the Divine words of the Master, not simply by hearing them. We have to

listen to Him, rather than simply hear Him. If we simply hear Him, we may be

negligent. If we simply hear Him, we may misinterpret. When we hear Him, we may

take it as an act of chance. When we hear Him, we may take it as an accident.

But when we listen to Him, we will be serious; we will be conscious; we will be

very purposeful. It is going to be very meaningful. The benefit of the

communication from the Divine Master, from His verbal teaching, is to be

received now or never. If I am not the beneficiary of the Divine Master’s

teachings now, it will never happen in the future.

If you have rapport with a living Master, if you are connected to Him in a

dynamic way, He will continue to be your living Master, forever and ever. He

may be near you or not. He may be in the physical frame or not. The Divine

Master, the living Master, will continue to be your Master forever and ever,

provided you get connected to Him. If you are not connected to Him, it doesn’t

matter if you are here or elsewhere. Being totally unaware of the diamond

available, of the gold available, you run around after the rubbish.

Therefore my friends, the living Master’s picture is enough. The thought of the

living Master is enough. Some conversations about the living Master are enough

to trick your mind, to change the gear, to take off into the unknown world.

Listen to the Master with your Heart

We have to hear the Divine Master not with our head, but with our heart. The

heart should hear, because it is the heart that registers. It is the heart that

does not question. It is the heart that does not waver. It is the heart that

does not doubt. It is the heart that is not ambiguous. It is the heart that is

not dual. So, listening to the Master with our heart is the most essential

thing. If I hear with my mind, I start interpreting. When I start interpreting,

the original meaning is gone. The original thought is gone. Let us not interpret

Baba.

There is no need for interpretation, because we are in His midst. We are right

in front of Him. Interpretation takes you towards delusion. It takes you to the

mistaken view, along totally the wrong path. In fact, the words that we hear

from Bhagavan have to carefully heard.

There are many occasions when I have been scolded, chided by Bhagavan for not

listening to Him carefully while translating His discourses. Suddenly I

anticipate what He is going to say, and I start speaking.

He says, “Keep quiet,” because He is going to say something else. “You take

things for granted. You think this is what I am going to say. No, what I am

going to say is altogether different. Stop there.”

It only means the mind is so sharp, it refuses to be silent. It is like a

mischievous child. You cannot stop the child from making mischief. The mind is

like a monkey. That is why Swami says, “Mind is a mad monkey. The body is a

water bubble.” This mad monkey, the mind, will not allow you to be silent.

Well, my friends, how am I to know that I am in the presence of a Divine Master?

How am I to know? How do I know that the Divine Master is before me? How do I

know that I received His blessings? Please be convinced of one important

statement. Please be convinced of it. Not even one letter should be omitted

from His declaration. What did He say?

“No one can come here unless I will.”

In the second statement, He says:

“I have chosen you.”

This is not a human election, where we go by the electoral college. In the

election booth, rigging may occur. This is not an election or a contest. This

is Divine choice. This is Divine selection. And if this is not realized now, it

can never be known later.

Divine Message has to be lived

So, listening to the Divine Master with our heart is a technique. The Master’s

voice, the Master’s message, is to be lived and not simply shared. The message

has to be lived. Your experience is going to prove the quality of the Truth of

the Divine message. The Truth of the Divine message is going to be proved by

your life, not by simply sharing, not simply caring, not simply chattering, not

simply interpreting.

Moreover, the Divine Master is going to take us to certain unknown destinations,

to certain places beyond our awareness. We have got to be prepared. Am I ready?

I am ready to go to a known place. I know certain places are very interesting,

full of entertainment, full of music. Yes, I know. Therefore I am prepared to

go to the known places.

But in spirituality, where are we to land? Where are we going? Where will we be?

That’s all unknown. That’s why that unknown destination, that unknown

experience, that unknown charter, creates a sense of fear in our minds.

“Meditate? No, I am afraid to meditate. Why? If I close my eyes, I am gone. My

ego is gone. I want to exist as myself. I want to exist in my identifications.

I want to exist with I-ness, with my own identity. I don’t want to get lost at

any cost. When I close my eyes, when I am gone, when I am lost, there arises a

sense of insecurity, a feeling of fear.”

God talks to you in Silence

In the presence of the Divine Master, sometimes fear arises. Why? Some people

tell me, “Mr. Anil Kumar, when Swami talks to me, somehow I feel fear. Why?”

Some people come and tell me. “When Swami stands in front of me, words fail me.

I cannot converse with Him. Why?”

I tell them, “You are a worthy spiritual aspirant.”

There is an English proverb that says, “Fools rush in, where angels fear to

tread.” Fools may begin to talk in front of Swami, but we have not come here to

talk. We have come here to

listen to Him. Let the Divine Master talk to me. Let the Divine Master open His

mouth, and pour into my ears the Divine nectar of His message.

So, the Divine Master requires silence, not noise. We have heard enough noise.

We are in the midst of noise. We are sufficiently noisy, because whilst we are

awake, we talk non-stop. Even while we sleep, we talk continuously. We dream of

the same people whom we encounter during the day. We converse with everybody

even while sleeping, in dreams. There is no experience of silence.

The Divine Master can be known, can be experienced, only in the depth of

silence. By ‘the depth of silence’, I mean the thoughtless (thought-free)

state. Silence does not mean refraining from speech or keeping the lips tied.

The mind may still be noisy then. The only way to establish a contact and a

rapport with the Divine Master is in mental silence.

God talks and talks so that you don’t need to be talked to anymore. There are

some people who say, “Sir, Swami is not talking to me outwardly, yet I am not

disappointed. Swami is not speaking to me, yet I am not frustrated. Why? He

talks to me from within. I hear Him from within. The outer talk is only

physical; the outer talk is only verbal. The outer talk is simply vocal,

physical, momentary, temporary, accidental, and coincidental. But the inner

talk is always available to me.”

There are many people who tell me, “Swami said this, and Swami said that.” Well,

He has never talked to me like that. I have never heard Him from within. I have

never cared to hear Him from within. I always wanted to hear Him from the

outside. I always lend my ears to hear what He says outside. I do not close my

eyes; I do not close my ears; I have not gone inward. I have not gone deeply

within, achieving a thought-free state, so that He would start speaking to me

from within.

Bhagavan said, “God walks silently.” As He walks silently, the sound of His

footsteps may not be heard if you go on talking. If you go on talking and

talking, you may not be able to hear the sound of the footsteps of God. To hear

the sounds of the footsteps of God, let there be silence. Let there be silence,

so that I can hear Him coming to me, so that I can hear Him speaking to me, so

that I can hear Him communing with me.

Communication requires two people. I can communicate and you can communicate in

turn. But God does not communicate. He communes. It is a holy communion, not a

communication. God communes with you silently, uni-directionally, confidently,

when you are silent.

My friends, just as the form of God will take us to the formless Divinity, so

the attributes of God should take us to the attributeless state of Divinity.

The words of God should make us silent. The physical words of God should help

us to evolve to a state where we can listen to Him from within. I think I

expressed myself properly.

Experience the Divine within

This is a journey with the Divine Master, and it is a different technique

altogether. You stay at home and at darshan time, most unfortunately, you are

not aware of the time. You are still lying in bed. Suddenly you get a call from

within: “Time to get up! Get up! Time for darshan. Get up, get up.”

Who is He? Where is He? Why should He tell you like that? I can give you umpteen

examples in this direction: One time an eye camp was to be started at one place.

The convener was fast asleep that night. He had to leave by the first bus the

next morning. Being very tired, he slept soundly. At 3:30 AM, he heard, “Get

up, get up! First bus leaves at 4:30. Have you forgotten that today is the eye

camp? Have you forgotten that you are the convener?”

When the convener does not attend the camp, he is more a political man.

Political people don’t attend. They don’t keep their promises. They claim the

credit and throw away the discredit. But here, the convener is very much there,

working in the field. Swami tells him, “Wake up, get up! In an hour’s time, the

first bus will be leaving. Today is the eye camp to be conducted in that place,

remember? “

What is that voice? Where is it from? Why should it speak like that? How is it

that I don’t get that direction? Why? Is he a greater person? Is he more

spiritual than you or I? Why he alone gets this? It is simply because of the

thought-free state. It is simply because that I-ness or ego is totally

withdrawn, totally gone. In that stillness, one can hear the inner voice. The

inner voice is heard in stillness, in extreme calmness and serenity.

Therefore, my friends, the Divine Master who is outside will make you experience

the Divine Master who is within. The outer Divine Master will make you

experience the Divine Master within. If I go by the Divine Master whom I see

moving around, walking around, I am reducing Divinity to the limitations of

time, space, geography, Name and form. But the Divine is beyond Name, form and

geography. He is timeless. It is impossible to experience this unless I try to

see Him from within.

To see Him from within is what we call Sakshatkara, or enjoying the Divine

manifestation. To experience God from within is

Sakshatkara, meaning the manifestation within. Internalise and actualise the

outer manifestation into the inner reality. That is the true realisation,

Sakshatkara, the manifestation of the outer Divinity within.

Bhagavan’s talks, Bhagavan’s messages, Bhagavan’s jokes, the sweet words, the

beautiful face and the mischievous smile should all help to bring Him within.

Then one hears the inner voice. The inner voice is that which is heard from

within. Manifestation occurs when the One is seen within. If it’s only outer,

it is equally mundane. If it’s only outer, it’s equally worldly.

Therefore it is “Now or Never”. If we don’t experience it now, we will never

experience it. If we do not know the value, we will never realise its value. If

we are not benefited now, we can never be benefited.

Why DOES Swami speak on Love repeatedly?

Somebody asked Bhagavan, “Swami You speak on Love repeatedly.

Prema Mudhitha Manase Kaho, Rama Rama Ram. Every message of Yours, every

sentence, certainly refers to this Love. Why? Why do You speak of Love

repeatedly? Do You think I am dull-headed? Do You think I cannot catch on if

You tell me only once? You talk to me repeatedly, again and again, publicly, in

person, privately in the interview room and on the platform. Whatever be the

occasion, it is ‘Love, Love, Love.’ Why repeatedly? ”

The reason is simple. When Swami speaks on Love, it should help me to search for

the hatred within me. I am full of hatred within. Swami’s theme on Love should

help me discover the hate within. I think I am clear. It is because there is no

Love within us. If Love is within us totally, He does not have to speak on Love

repeatedly.

This question was put to Bhagavan, “ Swami, why do You speak on Love again and again?”

Swami said, “Because you are not loving. You only hear, that’s all. You don’t love.”

We all say, “Swami spoke on Love. Good. His speech on Love is excellent. His

song on Love is so melodious.” We appreciate the melody. We appreciate the

poetry. We appreciate the words. We appreciate the literature. We appreciate

the sound. We appreciate the music. Everything is related to Love, but we do

not live the Love. We don’t live Love. Therefore, to make us live Love, He

repeats the message of Love every time. He has to. He speaks on Love also to

make us know how we do so many things, how we play games, all in the name of

Love.

This is how we have to understand His message. It should not be, it cannot be,

and it is not going to be tiresome. It is not merely a repetition. All that is

heard is useless unless it is experienced. All that is appreciated is all in

vain unless it is lived. It is all gone with the wind. One has to live it. One

has to experience it. It is for that purpose that the Divine Master is in front

of us. That is why I remind you once again of the important theme of this

morning, “Now or Never”.

If we don’t love now, we can never love later. If we don’t follow the path of

Truth, if we are not truthful, we will never know the Truth later. If I have no

idea of peace now, I can never be peaceful later. It is “Now or Never”.

 

Spirituality has no definite pattern

It is a pathless land. It is an unknown land. Each one has got his own inner

search. It is not a definite pattern like in science. Supposing in science, I

say a splinter burns brilliantly in the presence of oxygen. Good. You don’t

have to prove it again tomorrow. It need not be discovered, invented, or

experimented upon everyday. Scientific discoveries are made once and for all.

But spiritual experiences are to be sought after by everybody, every moment of

life.

Your experience is not going to be my experience. In science, there is a

definite pattern. The aim of the experiment, apparatus, procedure, observation,

inference, readings and calculations, is to discover that pattern. Hari Om Tat

Sat. That’s all that science is about. These are the symptoms of this disease;

that is medicine. That is medical science. These are the requirements; that is

the plan. What engineering skill is required for spiritual awakening? What

medical treatment is to be given for spiritual enlightenment? What technology

is to be adopted for spiritual unfoldment? There is no definite pattern. Each

one has got his own journey. One has to discover one’s own Self. One has to

suffer. One has to pass through the crucible of the painful process.

My friends, do not be mistaken if I tell you a bitter truth. A scientific

discovery will make you feel proud. A scientific invention is an achievement.

There is recognition. There is wide applause. Newspapers will carry your

photograph and name as well. There will be applause and cheers all around. But

in the spiritual field, you remain anonymous. Nobody will know you. Nobody will

recognise you -- No applause, no cheers, no publicity. You are just dropped like

a hot potato.

Sometimes the spiritual path appears to be suicidal. At times it appears to be

highly painful, excruciatingly painful. Yes, it is. Why is it painful? Unless

the husk is removed, the grain cannot be separated. Unless the chunks are cut

off or removed, I cannot be true to my Self. I think I am this body. I think I

am how I look, and how you see me. It is not like that. You have to lose your

identity with the body and the mind. It is a very painful process.

When I am asked to surrender my ego, it feels suicidal because the ego, and the

fostering of the ego, has been my life, my mission, and the goal. Right from

the beginning, parents have been telling you to be special, to be unique, to be

number one. Therefore, the seedlings, the seeds of ego, have sprouted right from

my childhood. As I grow more and more, the teachers tell me, “You should be

special.” The society demands of me that I should be extraordinary. But this

separateness, this aloofness, is the cause of misery.

I am one with the Whole

Once I know that I am one with the whole, it is bliss. When you are one with the

whole, it is bliss. When I am separate, it is misery. When I am one with the

whole, it is eternity. If I am a separate identity, it is death. So when the

ego, which I have been developing all my life until this day, is to be dropped

all of a sudden, I experience great pain, sorrow, misery, and struggle.

But yet, unless I pass through that pain, I cannot evolve. I cannot be free from

body attachment. I cannot be free from my mind. I must be true to the Self. And

that true Self is the whole, and not just a drop. It is not a fragment. It is

not a piece. Let me be very, very clear about that. The true Self is the cosmic

Self. The true Self is the universal Self. The true Self is totality. That

totality is the Divinity.

Therefore my friends, the Divine Master allows you to go through the process of

severe pain -- agonising, testing, challenging, only to make you and me

experience the totality, that wholeness, that you are. Do not consider yourself

a wave. No. You are the ocean. Never think that you are the drop. You are the

ocean.

Because the Master tells me that I am immortal, I am immortal. That is the

message of God. But my human experience is that I am a poor mortal. My opinion

is that I am a poor mortal. The Divine teaching is that you are immortal. Why

do I consider myself mortal? I consider myself mortal because of the fear of

death. But the Divine Master tells me that I am deathless. Why am I deathless?

Because, in truth, I was never born. Oh, then why do I have a birthday? It is

just a celebration. Birth never happened and so death cannot take place.

It is like a wave that arises out of the ocean. A wave comes and goes back. Is

the wave born? No. Has the wave died? Certainly not. It is an appearance. The

touch of the wind makes the ocean send forth wave after wave, in sequence. Wave

after wave is sent forth, in sequence, because of the touch of the wind. They

are neither born, nor are they going to die.

That is why Bhagavan says, “Devotion is a deep ocean.” Out of this ocean of

devotion come forth so many waves, ripples of human beings and creatures, which

are temporary, just formed. The identification with the still ocean should

always be kept in view. That is the message of the Divine Master.

I am feeling comfortable as a bubble, and happy as a wave, because children play

with me. I don’t want to know that I am the sea. In the sea there is so much

water. I can’t bear the thought that I am one with the many, because I want to

be special. I want to be extraordinary. I want to be at least a V.I.P.…if

possible, a veranda V.I.P.

(Laughter). V-VIP: first 'V' for veranda, second 'V' for VIP.

So my mind will not allow me to be a common man. My mind, my ego, will not allow

me to be ordinary. My mind, my ego, will not allow me to be simple and humble.

It is creating hell in my life. It is at that time that the Divine Master says,

”You are not that ego. Give up that ego.” I am not going to die, because I was

never born. It is only the ego that is born. It is only the ego that dies.

So, in response to the Divine Master, when I come to know that I am not the ego,

that which dies, I will know that I am immortal. I will know what immortality

is, what deathlessness is, what eternity is.

If I cannot drop the fear now, I can never drop the fear in future. If I cannot

give up body attachment now, I can never give it up later. If I cannot give up

this identification with the mind now, I cannot give it up in the future. If I

cannot hear His voice within, as the inner voice now, there is no point in

hearing Him for any length of time.

Swami speaks to his devotees

At this moment, I can tell you that it was Charles Penn who recorded Swami’s

messages, given to him everyday in the United States, released by him in the

form of a book. Charles Penn could record Swami’s messages, which were given to

him. Is that message not available to us? Are we denied Divine messages? Are we

so dull? Are we so passive? Are we indifferent? Are we irrelevant? Are we not

responsive? Are we not receptive? Is my heart barren? Is not my heart a fertile

land? Why could only Charles Penn hear Swami’s message, which provided enough

material for one full volume?

I can also show you a town about eight hours’ drive from here, where Swami

dictates the text of classical songs to a woman, and teaches her the tunes

also. She is the principal of the music college. Her name is Meenakshi. She

hails from Nandiala. She tells me, “Sir, these are the songs. Yes, Swami told

me.” A little conversation with her will convince everyone that she is not

capable of writing that language. She is not a scholar. I cannot expect that

standard of composition from her. But she has composed songs, and she says

Swami has given the tunes, too.

Why does this not happen to me? Why does it not happen to you? We feel like

crying in helplessness. Why? I feel I can compose. I feel I can give the proper

tune to the songs. I feel that I can understand, that I can interpret and that I

can experience. So I will never experience because this ‘I’ (ego) is still

remaining. When this ‘I’ is gone, then comes the real message of the Lord.

The real gospel, the real testament, the real message and the real teaching can

be lived in our daily lives only if the inner development, only if inner

progress, starts happening in our life. It is

“Now or Never”.

Thank you. We will continue the talks on the role of the Divine Master, as this

is the Christmas season. It is the time to know the Divine Master, Lord Jesus

Christ.

Thank you very much. (Applause)

Anil Kumar finished his talk by chanting the bhajan “Jaya Ho Jaya Ho Gopalana”.

May Bhagavan bless you! Sai Ram.

OM…OM…OM…

Asato Maa Sad Gamaya

Tamaso Maa Jyotir Gamaya

Mrtyormaa Amrtam Gamaya

Om Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu

Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu

Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti

 

http://shivomindia.tripod.com/now/now_never.htm

[Guest guest]

This talk of Prof Anil Kumar is mind blowing thank you so much for this talk it

is simply great.I think every Brother and Sisters must read this talk "Now or Never".

 

It is so thought provoking and I truly believe that who wants to get inner

guidance from Baba and to understand Baba messages will help immensely.

 

Thank you so much for sharing this precious piece may Swami Bless you with thousand folds.

It is really time for us- if it is not now then it will be never, so it must be

better Now or Never.

 

Thank you once again.

 

At the feet of Sai

 

Soumendrasherry jagdeo <sherryjagdeo > wrote:

The Sunday Talk Given by Anil Kumar

“Now or Never”

December 7th, 2003