Guest guest Posted March 14, 2005 Report Share Posted March 14, 2005 Her Life was a Song Well Sung The lessons I learnt from my wife, Kathy Feely by Dr. Jack Feely, USA Region 4 Young Adult Male Advisor "First Be, then Do, then Tell." - Sathya Sai Baba Swami tells us what we are in every discourse He gives when He addresses us as "Embodiments of Love." He has also told us, "Women earn renown from what they do; men from what they desist from doing." (Sathya Sai Speaks XI, 54). Kathy Feely was truly an embodiment of the Love that flowed outward towards everyone she encountered in her life. She channeled that Love and directed it through her faith, intelligence and dedication as her life became His message during the 41 years that she lived. She benefited from that Love as she died. Swami tells us, "First be." Kathy was Love, just as we all are. But she had a constant and deep awareness of that truth. He said, "Then do." She expressed the Love that she was by what she did and how she did it. She taught 1st and 3rd grades in Milwaukee and St. Louis with a genuine love that impacted students, parents and colleagues. Her students recently dedicated a "Peace Garden" in Kathy's memory and to express their gratitude to her for teaching them about "the love in our hearts." She continued "doing" through her public duties as Regional President and National Council Secretary of the Sathya Sai Baba Organization of America, and Chair of the Board for the National Education in Human Values Elementary Committee. She expressed who she was, in countless private activities that very few people ever knew about, including weekly tutoring of inner city children through Mother Theresa's Missionaries of Charity, and forming a community service club with her school students where they visited nursing homes weekly. What Kathy did not do was "tell" about herself. For this reason I would like to share some of Kathy with you. Kathy was my wife and closest friend for over 7 years until she died of lymphoma on May 10, 2002. I might add that she was also the best teacher of Swami's message I have ever known. She taught not just by how she lived, but also by how she died. During the 14 months since she was diagnosed, Kathy did not complain one time. She went through this journey courageously and with unwavering faith in our Lord. From the beginning she believed that this condition was a gift from God, one designed to help her learn something. She believed that everything in her life, whether pleasant or unpleasant, was a gift from God for her benefit. She did not pray that Swami heal her of the cancer, since she told me often that everything He gave her was for her own good and out of His love. "Why would I ask Him to take away what He gave me?" she told me. Rather, she prayed that He would give her the courage to go through that ordeal in a way that would please Him, and enable her to learn what He wanted her to learn. Kathy often told me that she lived a "fairy-tale" life because she had "the best family, the best job in the best school, the best home, the best dog, the best husband." When I corrected her and said I can't be the best husband, she corrected me and said, "You are the best husband for me." She truly believed that everything that came into her life was there for the best reason sent by our Loving Swami. With that conviction strongly held in her heart, she approached everything, even her diagnosis, with joy and courage. As her illness progressed, her faith and peace seemed to increase. She shared what she was learning from this journey when she spoke at Swami's Birthday celebration in St. Louis last year. During her presentation even as the symptoms of the cancer were progressing, Kathy talked about how to "STAY" with faith in God regardless of the circumstances. "S" stands for total "Surrender" to the Lord. Then comes "T" for "Trust" that God to whom we surrender takes care of everything. We do our part and trust that He will do His part. Next comes "A" because once we give Him our trust, we must "Accept" what he is choosing for us no matter what the outcome. And finally "Y" stands for "Yes, yes, yes," not "Why, why, why." Kathy recalled hearing devotees in darshan ask for things when Swami passed by. He would lovingly say "Yes, yes, yes" to them. With that attitude she accepted the final outcome of her illness and said "Yes, yes, yes" to Him. Kathy's faith in God never wavered. She felt surrounded by His love and by the love and support of devotees and friends who visited and called and sent cards and flowers. The only times she shed tears were tears of joy that He was taking such good care of us during this journey, or tears of sorrow for other people who were sick and alone and did not have the love she felt surrounded by. A couple of weeks before Kathy died I was helping her with something. I suggested that if she did it a certain way it would be easier. She looked at me and very sweetly said, "Jack, easy is not my goal." Throughout her life, "easy" was never her goal. When I read the words of Swami: "Women earn renown from what they do," I imagine adding "and how they do it." Kathy did so much in her 41 years but the quality and love with which she did them added immeasurably to those years. I remember long ago, before I met Kathy, when I was a newcomer to Sai Baba. I felt so much enthusiasm and joy and privilege to know of the Avatar. How blessed I felt to be so honored to be one of the few He called to be aware of His presence here on earth. Like many others when they first come to Swami, I could hardly contain my excitement. And like many others, in time I grew to take this honor too much for granted. Kathy never took the gift of Sai for granted. She was always the "newcomer" in her excitement and honor to be one of His devotees. She was a devotee for over 20 years, and the gratitude and honor she felt over the privilege of knowing Him continued to grow during those 20 years. She helped me regain that sense of gratitude and honor. Throughout our marriage she would often say, "Jack, do you know how blessed we are? We have been chosen by our Lord, Sathya Sai Baba!" Her joy was contagious, not just to me but to others as well. Her life really was His message. As much as Kathy loved to sing bhajans, she had been unable to sing for several months due to her illness. His love and grace gave her a special gift just 3 days before she died. We always said prayers and sang devotional songs every evening at 9:00 pm during this period. Devotees frequently joined us. That evening, during the few minutes of silence at the end of our prayer time, Kathy started to sing. Her voice was weak, but beautifully sweet and in perfect melody. That evening she sang 4 songs to the Lord. She was almost giddy with glee that she was given the blessing of being able to sing 4 songs to God. During our last conversation shortly before she died, I asked Kathy what she wanted me to tell devotees. She said, "Tell them He is not punishing me and He is not betraying me. He is showering me with His love and His grace." She wanted me to tell people that she had "a happy heart" and wanted others of have a happy heart. The joy that she radiated was real and emanated from her heart. I am blessed to have been her partner and husband for the past 7 years. Along with everyone who ever experienced her glowing smile and shining love. I have been touch by an angel. Kathy Feely was a standard for women and all devotees. Her life was a song well sung. source : Sai Young Adult Newsletter Fall 2002 http://www.syan.org/Fall2002/article_song.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 Words fail to express my true feelings. STAY trulyunderstood and practiced. Thanks a lot for sharing with us thiswonderful true story. SAI RAM / Jwalant Quoting sherryjagdeo : Her Life was a Song Well Sung 6642 thrisha thri <viji9463 Date: Wed Mar 16, 2005 0:40am Subject: Re: A true story of faith and courage viji9463 Offline Send Email Invite to 360º Sai Ram What a touching story indeed. I almost in tears but at the end I control after she said the last few words. Not punished not betrayed but showered with love. Yes swami always showers people with love. How blessed I am. Sai Ram sherryjagdeo wrote: Her Life was a Song Well Sung Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 16, 2005 Report Share Posted March 16, 2005 Sai Ram dear Sherry, Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story with us......Bless you lots....... With love & light,MadhviDuty is God, Work is Worship Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 16, 2005 Report Share Posted March 16, 2005 I was truely moved by these wondrous beings Kathy & Jack. There are few people that could take an illness as well as Kathy. I am sure that we have all learnt a lessen of true and total devotion of our beloved Baba. Your devotion has really inspired me. Thank you for sharing this story which should be read at centres worldwide. Much love Jai Sai Ram Mukesh Merchant - sherry jagdeo Tuesday, March 15, 2005 2:01 AM [saibabanews] A true story of faith and courage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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