Transformation by Sai - By B. Halagappa, 'Sri Rangapatnam Orphanage', Mysore

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Transformation by Sai

 

by B. Halagappa

'Sri Rangapatnam Orphanage,' Mysore, India

 

My parents were devotees of Shirdi Sai Baba. In those days 'Sai' was

already a name often used by us in our little family, which lived in

a village called Kikkeri of Mandya District of Karnataka.

 

I lost my parents when I was very young and I became an unsettled

orphan in that parentless family. I left home and for the next five

to six years I was wandering from place to place visiting many a

holy pilgrimage centers, often in the company of some wandering

monks. On such a journey during the year 1953, I had also been to

Puttaparthi and visited the young Sai Baba. In those days, a

metallic archboard bearing the words in Telugu 'Bhagavan Sri Sathya

Sai Baba Prasanthi Nilayam' was there on the main gate of

Puttaparthi.

 

The word 'Bhagavan' attracted my curiosity of the reality of Baba

and I wanted to taste the powers of Baba and stayed there for a few

days. I was not much impressed first in any way about Baba, as I was

in the company of other sadhus who were familiar with some tantric

trics. My companionship with sadhus, instead of giving me Spiritual

knowledge, resulted in my addiction to narcotics and allied

activities.

 

I was now about twenty years old and I was growing up with a

distinct personality. I had the opportunity of visiting Rishikesh

where I met a divine master named Swami Shradhananda. I was blessed

to be his servant for some time. The Swami told me about Bhagavan

Sri Sathya Sai Baba and His divine qualities.

 

Once Bhagavan Baba had visited the Ashram of Swami Sivananda of

Rishikesh and many sadhus in that area had the darshan of Bhagavan

Baba. Swami Shradhananda did not go to Him. The Swami told me that

Bhagavan Baba can come to us whenever and wherever we yearn for His

darshan—Swami Shradhananda was known for his higher attainment of

yogic practices. One day Swami Shradhananda narrated to me about his

experience of Bhagavan Baba's visit to His dwellings, when at the

same time Baba was in Rishikesh in Swami Sivananda's Ashram, Swami

Shradhananda had particulary told me that my peaceful future would

be by the blessings of Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba.

 

After the samadhi of Swami Shradhananda in Mount Abu, I returned to

South India. My mind was wooing to be near Bhagavan Baba's divine

feet. I went to Puttaparthi. Baba did not speak to me. He was so

different and unlike many other Swami's who generally impress those

who came to them. I was very much disappointed and became upset in

life without a clear direction. My experience with Sadhus who often

choose to live by begging made me feel ashamed. My daily needs

forced me to steal valuable things. I also used to be a clever liar

to collect money. I was lead to the pleasures of alcoholic

sensations.

 

Once again I was in Bangalore when I learnt that Baba was in

Whitefield. I rushed for His darshan. Just then Baba was leaving in

His car to a devotees house for lunch and I followed Him by foot to

that place. When Baba saw me standing outside the compound wall, He

asked me to have food in that house. When He returned to Whitefield

I followed Him immediately. This time Baba spoke to me length and

advise me to join some place to work without wandering aimlessly.

 

I followed Baba's advise and I was given a job: physical labor at

Pandavapura Sugar Factory. I yearned to be at Puttaparthi. I was a

regular participant at Sri Ramachandra Shetty's Bhajan Center in

Mysore. Baba had blessed his house by His divine presence many

times. The song 'O, Bhagavan. O, Bhagavan' was my song of the soul

and I cried with it to Baba about my misfortune. During that period,

I was thrown out of my temporary job. I rushed by walk to

Puttaparthi to have Baba's darshan. I was stopped by Baba himself at

Penukonda Railway Level Crossing. He was driving down to Bangalore

and asked me, "Where are you up to?" I told Him that I was going to

have His darshan at Puttaparthi. I told Him my problem and He told

me, "You are already having your darshan. And now return to your

work! You will be given a permanent job." He also gave me 20 rupees

for my needs. My joy knew no bounds! I spent every paise of it then

and there and I returned to Pandavapura. Baba's words were true. I

was again given a job in the same factory where I was working

earlier.

 

Though I got a job it was really difficult to manage my earnings of

only 2 rupees per day; my bad habits were many and my daily needs

had to be met. Once during a Shivaratri Festival I was at

Puttaparthi and had stolen some clothing belonging to devotees and

on my return to my place I exhibited them as a gift given to me by

Baba!

 

The journey to Puttaparthi was not so expensive. A trip up and down

to Puttaparthi was just costing 6 rupees. However, I was not

fortunate enough to have even that amount at times. Once I was at

Puttaparthi and I extended my stay beyond my limits of expenses. I

had stolen a suitcase belonging to a devotee and secured it on the

top of the hillock of Vata Vriksha beside the big boulders,

overlooking Prasanthi Nilayam.

 

Baba had consoled the victim and assured him he would he would get

his suitcase back soon. I was standing along with other devotees to

get Baba's darshan, when Sri Kasturi came to me and directed me to

see Baba in His room. There, Baba admonished me for my bad behavior

and asked me to return the suitcase immediately. I pleaded with Him

for pardon and told Him that I would not be doing such a nasty thing

if only Baba had blessed me to have a decent life. I also pleaded my

fear of police and publicity and sought His protection. Baba blessed

me with His protection and told me that, "No big police officer,

whatever be his rank, can ever touch you as long as you have me for

protection!"

 

Then He sent Mr. Kasturi to collect the suitcase instead of me. He

never disclosed this incident to anyone else. He gave me vibhutti

but no money this time. Sri Kasturi after hearing everything about

me and my devotion to Baba told me that in a way I was really

blessed by Baba and paid for my return ticket to Pandavapura.

 

The job in hand was satisfactory. The wages were very meager. My bad

habits were many. I also desired to have Baba's darshan often. I got

into marriage on the advice of my well-wishers. But my grief was

doubled in every respect especially as my journey to Parthi now

became impossible.

 

On 1963 Gurupoornima day, I was in Puttaparthi. There we learnt that

Baba was suffering from a stroke of paralysis. Sri Kasturi explained

to us that Baba suffering were a result of His 'taking over' the

pains of a devotee. It was already a week. On the day before

Gurupoornima, Baba was brought out for public darshan, being carried

on a chair held by a number of devotees. Baba was seen by us in a

completely helpless situation as His left hand and leg were in a

stiffened condition. All of us were thinking "Is this the situation

for God, even?"

 

Just then Baba was asking for a cup of water to drink. It was given

to Him immediately. Baba had a few sips of water and seeing Him I

felt bad and I broke into tears. I was crying as if Baba had left

His body, ending His avataric mission! But Baba was soon standing in

front of us, speaking to us with His sweet melodious voice.

 

This incident made a forceful impact on me. During the speech He

explained to us (among many things), His leela of taking over

diseases belonging to His devotees as part of His mission. He also

told us about His three divine Avatars; one was at Shirdi, the

second which is now at Puttaparthi, and te third which would descend

as Prema Sai at some place in Mandya District of Karnataka on the

banks of Cauvery river.

 

At the same time I was telling myself if Bhagavan Baba was God

really and on that next day if only Baba blessed me permitting me a

padnamaskar at His feet untouched by anybody else, I would become a

completely changed person devoting the rest of my life to service

and would lead a life comfortably remembering His name and settling

down on the banks of the river Cauvery at Sri Rangapatnam.

 

On the next day, Baba blessed this poor soul and his desire, and I

am whatever I am today. His shower of blessing washed every cell in

this body and gave me everything I dreamt of as an aimless wandering

man.

 

Besides blessing me with the shower of Vibhutti and flow of Amrith,

He changed me totally to be an unseful instrument in rendering some

small help in giving shelter for many orphaned children who live

with our own children in our house [sri Halgappa is the owner of the

famous Sri Rangapatnam Orphanage in Mysore]. My house is now full of

such sweet names of our Lord, when I call my children Sai Prasad,

Sai Prema, Sai Kumar, Sai Ganesh, Sai Shankar, Chitravathi,

Prasanthi, etc., and I feel blessed to be constantly remembering

Bhagavan Baba and His greatest leela of reforming me and securing me

strongly in His Divine embrace.

 

Source: http://saionline.org/essays/transform.html