Preaching to a relative

[Guest guest]

Haribol! I have a question about preaching that I

would like to pose:

I live far away from a temple or any sort of organized

Vaisnava community, and I work as a caretaker for my

invalid mother-in-law. She is a very unhappy person

who is looking for God. Recently she has started

going to the Seventh-Day Adventist Christian church.

I don't know much about their beliefs, except that

they are mostly vegetarian, which at least means that

they are following the Bible's "thou shall not kill"

injunction to an extent. However, my mother-in-law

finds the Seventh-Day Adventists to be somewhat

intolerant, and also she feels uncomfortable with the

belief that only Seventh-Day Adventists will go to

Heaven.

The other day she said to me,"I wish I could be a

member of your church." Now I am trying to figure out

a good way to preach to her. She has a severe anxiety

disorder, and is also very bitter and self-centered,

and I know she would be so much happier if she was

taking shelter of Krsna. She is always giving little

presents to bring home to my Dieties, like beads,

cloth, baskets to put fruit in, etc., but I don't feel

qualified to really preach to her without driving her

away from this desire to be a devotee. She has no

desire to use God as a wish-fulfiller ("dear Lord,

please get me some new shoes"), and I think she is

sincere.

Is there anyone out there who has successfully

preached to a family member that can tell me if there

is a good way to attempt to help her? I am praying to

Krsna to help us both.

Your Servant,

Maharani dasi

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

Dear Maharani Dasi (mathaji)

My limited experience tells me that it is more easier preaching KRSNA

consciousness to an outsider than a very close relative.

In fact I think that this is a paradigm that some of us have....perhaps its the

false ego especially due to our comfort of taking pride in the Glory of the

Sankirtan movement.

After reading your comments it is clear to me that your Granny is ready to start

her life of "chanting and being happy" as you doing. She is vegetarian, she is

offering gifts to the Dieties plus she has told you that she wants to belong to

your church. What greater sign do you need ?

Lord Krsna is within her heart and everything is by the mercy of GURU. I would

suggest that you continue offering Maha Parsadam...make an attempt to take her

to the Temple...give her japa mala etc.

My grandfather was 93 years and he saw their Lordships Sri Sri Radha Radhanath a

few days before he left is body. My father is 55 years and is now chanting more

rounds of japa than I do. My daughter is only 10 months and already raises her

arms in glorification to their Lordships Gaura Nitai.

So you can see Srila Prabhupada has done the whole world a great

benefit....(Krsna Consciousness). Age is no criteria for starting our spiritual

bank balance.

I pray:

May Lord Gauranga bless you in your endeavour.

May your Granny add the Maha Mantra into her life.

haribol

rakesh manohar

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[Guest guest]

Respected mataji,

 

PAMHO!AGTSP!!

 

Few devotees have suggested how to preach to a

relative. If you look at your mother-in-law as a jiva

hankering to find the real constitutional position

then it is easy to preach.

 

I agree that it is difficult to preach to a relative,

because of the familiarity and because they know our

inglorious life before becoming an aspiring devotee.

But every soul is individual and we cannot go by

experience of others.

 

There are many instances of how devotees have preached

to their kith and kin. I know one devotee who

transformed his whole family from that of everyday

non-veg eaters to pure vegetarians chanring 16 rounds.

We have to keep on trying and we may succeed. Even if

we do not suceed we have already pleased Krsna by

preaching.

 

Mahaprabhu says that whowever we meet we should talk

of Krsna.

 

If you want more details I can help. Problem is that

too many advices can easily confuse. So take any one

or two and start acting on them.

 

Here is wishing you all the success. I will chant one

round for your mother-in-law.

 

Humble servant,

Subuddhi Krsna dasa

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

Hare Krishna.

 

Something that is worth mentioning is our attitude in preaching.

Preaching really means to give Krishna-conscious knowledge to those

who don't have it, or need more of it. In doing so, the people being

preached to should see that those who are doing the preaching have

something that is worth giving.

 

In other words, if we seem happy and content in our Krishna-

consciousness, then nondevotees will be more intrigued and want to

know more. But if we come across as frustrated, pushy, and/or

aggressive, then nondevotees may not care too much for what we have

to offer.

 

It is also useful to point out that there are many different kinds of

preaching, besides the commonly understood paradigm of approaching

someone and very aggressively attempting to defeat their

misconceptions. Often times, speaking politely, showing genuine

interest in a person, and providing good hospitality are very

effective tools in welcoming nondevotees into our fold. For example,

it is customary according to Vedic standards of hospitality to

inquire about a person's livelihood, his family members, occupational

duties (or education/occupation in modern times), and so on.

Householders in particular can welcome guest into their home, feed

them prasadam, and take time to get to know their guests. Discussion

of philosophy can be seamlessly integrated into such an approach,

since a nondevotee will invariably ask the kinds of questions that

serve as a good springboard for such topics (such as, why are you

vegetarian, why do you dress that way, who is that in that picture,

etc).

 

Preaching also does not end when a nondevotee takes to Krishna-

consciousness. Constant association is a must for spiritual

advancement. It is a mistake to stop paying attention to someone

simply because he has taken initiation, turning full attention to

nondevotees only. This is an impersonal attitude, one which can lead

to burn-out and fall-downs among new devotees. Nectar of Instruction

is particularly instructive in this regard:

 

dadaati pratigR^ihNaati guhyamaakhyaati pR^ichchhati |

bhu.nkte bhojayate chaiva ShaDvidha.m priitilakShaNam || 4 ||

 

dadaati - gives charity; pratigR^ihNaati - accepts in return; guhyam -

confidential topics; aakhyaati - explains; pR^ichchhati - inquires;

bhu.nkte - eats; bhojayate - feeds; cha - also; eva - certainly; ShaT-

vidham - six kinds; priiti - of love; lakShaNam - symptoms.

 

Offering gifts in charity, accepting charitable gifts, revealing

one's mind in confidence, inquiring confidentially, accepting

prasaada and offering prasaada are the six symptoms of love shared by

one devotee and another (4).

 

Far from a mundane, "preach and forget" mentality, Nectar of

Instruction tells us that different kinds of activities are the

symptoms of affection shared between devotees. By cultivating these

activities, we are actually cultivating Krishna-conscious culture,

something that anyone desiring peace is likely to find appealing.

 

Krishna