Parents in KC

[Guest guest]

Letter to: Nandarani and Dayananda : 68-03-29 San

Francisco

 

Regarding your manner of behavior with your parents who are not in

Krishna

Consciousness; I may inform you that you should treat four different

classes of

men in four different ways. A devotee shoud love God and God's

devotees.

A devotee should make friendship with devotees. A devotee should try

to

enlighten innocent persons, and a devotee should reject opposite

elements.

As father and Mother they should be offered proper respect according

to social

custom, but you cannot accept their non-Godly instructions. Best

thing is,

to avoid misunderstanding, to remain silent without any affirmation

or negation

of their instructions. We should try to keep our friendship with

everyone in the

world, but we cannot sacrifice the principles of Krishna

Consciousness on being

employed by some relative of this world. Don't let them know that you

do not

approve your parents instructions, but at the same time you should be

very

careful in dealing with them. If you object to their instruction and

let them

know it, then they will feel sorry, sad.

 

Text 139975 (153 lines)

LINK: Bhakti-tirtha Swami (Africa) <Bhakti-

tirtha.Swami

04-May-95 20:12 EDT

Parental Cultivation

---------------------------

Dear Maharajas and Prabhus:

 

Please accept my humble obeisances.

All Glories to ISKCON Founder Acarya Srila

Prabhupada!

 

Below are some suggestions for all temples

to consider for an "International Campaign for

Parental Cultivation." These suggestions are for

support of the Centennial Petals "Enhancing

Worldwide Reputation" and the "Holy Name."

 

Stay tuned, as I will be sending out

information in a few days about celebrating the

Holy Name Day and Interfaith Programs.

 

 

*INTERNATIONAL CAMPAIGN FOR PARENTAL CULTIVATION*

 

Our greatest attackers worldwide have been

some of our own parents, so by cultivating our

parents, we not only can stop many future attacks

but can have people out in the field who can be

some of our strongest advocates.

 

1) As our parents are attached to us they can be

either our greatest allies, or our greatest

adversaries.

 

2) Our parents have associations with many types

of people. If they are disturbed with us this will

negatively influence many people profoundly.

Especially since many people consider parents to

be authorities on their children.

 

3) Parents are always asked about their children,

if they are favorable they will be constantly

preaching about Krishna consciousness.

 

4) After all, they brought us into the world, and

we do seriously owe it to them to help them

receive certain benedictions.

 

5) Even if they do not become favorable we should

at least be able to make them neutral, as long as

they are unfavorable they will be hurting their

own evolution.

 

6) So many of us have been spoken about badly by

our own relatives, and denied inheritances etc.

because we did not take a little time to cultivate

our parents.

 

7) We are trying so many ways to influence the

world but we have forgotten that we have devotees

all over the world who, if somehow they are able

to make their relatives more favorable, could

generate such a naturally fantastic media campaign

and support system.

 

 

MORNING ISTHAGOSTI

Each temple could use this period to discuss ideas

about how the devotees can try to cultivate their

parents or at least to help them not be

antagonistic. Needless to say this can also be

dangerous because in some cases the parents are

just so antagonistic, or the devotee so weak that

there should be no question about the physical

visitation; such neutralizing in some cases can

only go on at a distance or through a third party.

Each temple and each devotee can come up with

different ideas and programs. I would like to

suggest a few ideas that could be considered:

 

1) Send to parents certain video, and audio tapes

especially videos like "Hare Krishna Today," as

well as copies of "ISKCON World Reviews."

 

2) Invite parents to special programs particularly

designed to influence them positively.

 

3) Implement a parents' night at the temple either

once a month, or twice a year. Have the parents

who are favorable speak to help convince those who

are unfavorable.

 

4) As many of us are older than some of the

parents of the youths that are now joining, we

should invite the parents to visit with us at the

temple so we can explain to them what their

daughters or sons are doing.

 

5) Some devotees can visit their parents with

someone else's parent who is favorable.

 

6) If the relationship is too bad for any form of

visitation, we could send them a gift or letter

from time to time.

 

7) We should try to get a first class enthusiastic

parent to create an International or National

organization known as "Parents for Krsna!" The

organization should have a newsletter, programs,

and projects to assist in enhancing the devotees

parents' appreciation of Srila Prabhupada and His

mission. Each temple may want to have a

coordinator for their own parent organization.

 

8) For assisting with the Holy Name Petal this

parental cultivation would be a good time to

explain to all about the importance of calling on

various names of God, and encouraging our parents

that as they call on various names of God, and as

we are also calling on God, that this will

spiritually always keep us in communication.

Since may of their issues are around our physical

absence from them we should not demand that they

chant Hare Krishna, per se, but if they are

somewhat resistant, let them chant any name of God

that they are comfortable with. one might even

encourage them to chant for five or ten minutes at

the same time every day, and as they chant at that

time, make them aware that we will also be

chanting at the same time, thinking about them,

wishing them well.

 

I have heard of a couple of cases where

devotees have very effectively cultivated their

aristocratic parents who were at very powerful

conventions, board meetings and cocktail parties

and proudly explained how their son or daughter is

a selfless Saint who has traveled all around the

world doing humanitarian services. Even if this

simply saves us from a few legal cases, or helps a

few parents to no longer be so offensive to the

movement, this will be well worth the effort, as

one important word in our managerial vocabulary is

to be PROACTIVE rather than REACTIVE!

 

In other words, we can no longer just sit

waiting for the next parent to take legal actions,

arrange for deprogramming, negatively address the

media, or seriously hurt their own spiritual life

anymore. We owe it to our parents to find ways to

give them some mercy while we are trying to save

the world.

 

 

Yours in service to Srila Prabhupada.

 

Bhakti Tirtha Swami