SWAMI AND YOU

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dear mukesh

Swami has completely made a U-turn of my life. I am 20 years old

student and without his grace and compassion i dont know what i

would be right now. I hardly used to study and hated going to

school, was unkind to my parents, elders and had many many bad

habits like consuming alcohol, smoking, eating meat, being in bad

company and others that i cant even write down here. I am now in

university and how i got admission is still a mystery! My school

leaving marks were disgraceful. But i prayed frequently and inspite

of all my downsides, the avatar of the age slowly and steadly has

lifted me to a new level that i am living currently and everyday is

a day to improve. Due to his infinite grace and love, i have stopped

many avoidable habits like alcohol, smoke, non-veg, bad company,

wasting time. These things have become a fashion for the youth, but

now i don't hesitate even for a second to say no if someone offered

me a smoke or alcohol. Unbelievably now i am enjoying my studies and

managing to get good marks. Most importantly i am learning to LOVE

others, though slowly.

 

I would say the Sai literatures i have been reading(swami's books,

articles, etc) was a major influence in the transformation of

myself.Ofcourse, and most importantly, the Sai has

played a major part and i cant be thankful enough to all those who

post inspiring articles and they probably themselves dont know how

many individuals they are transforming by becoming instruments in

HIS DIVINE MISSION........

 

I take this opportunity to thank this , the moderators,

members for your wonderful work! I hope everyday an individual is

transformed into a better human being.........

 

TRANSFORMATION OF MAN IS HIS GREATEST MIRACLE

 

jai sai ram

unnikrishnan

 

 

 

 

, MUKESH BHADRESA

<mukeshbhadresa wrote:

>

> SAI RAM Dearest Brothers and Sisters

>

> Is there anyone who would LOVE to share, on their own

experiences of Swami which has changed their lives.

>

> I would love to hear from you............YES YOU

>

>

> JAI SAI RAM

> Mukesh

>

>

>

> Or an Email to SBOI- Group moderator

>

>

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new Security Centre.

>

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years,then suddenly I turned into a devotee of Shirdi Sai Baba. I had verymuch

love towards Shirdi Sai. At that time my goal is to go toShirdi. But up to 2001

I didn't get chance to go there. Almost Ifought 4 years then I got chance in

2001(he allowed me only). Afterwithin 2 months I went to USA and stayed there

long time, almost 2and ½ years. When I am in flight March 2001, My mom got

dreamabout shirdi sai baba that he showed his grace on my mom andtelling

"Nothing will happen to your girl. I will be withher". My mom woke up and told

to my dad about the dream and withinafter 30 minutes I called up my parents

from Bombay airport that Istucked up in Bombay and I am coming back to

Hyderabad. That is verylate night time and my parents got so much of tension as

I am theonly girl and fighting with things in Bombay airport and also newto

everything.By Baba's grace I got one old man from Hyderabad to Bombay and heis

coming

back from Bombay to Hyderabad the very next day. He gavelot lot help upto I

reach Hyderabad in return flight. I fought withso many things in Bombay airport

and I can tell now is "BABA IS WITHME". That's it. Rather than this word I am

not gettinganything.That much BABA helped me in Bombay airport. As I said about

mymom's dream, from that moment onwards she turned into as BABA devotee.And I

got jealous on my mom that she saw in dream, but I am not.But afterwards I

realized that she had pure heart and love, that'swhy he gave darshan for her

eventhough she is not devotee of him before.When I am in USA I got so many

problems. I can say that no girl canget those problems. I came up from well

settled family. But still Ifought for one day food and one night food. At the

beginning I usedto stay with my dad's relatives in USA. Both husband and wife

aremy uncle and aunt. Aunty she didn't give me food or any liquidotherthan

water. If I took anything to eat from kitchen, she used tosay that I am thief.

These all are new to me and got frustrated. Iwant to die at that time. Then I

remembered in India how I used tolive. As I am new to America I can not go

outside and can not getfood. Even uncle used say that he is busy and not let me

to go tofood mall and get some food. At that time I bared 15 days and afterthat

I can not. And made a call to my parents and told I am verymuch hungry. Then my

mom fainted and next day onwards she used to goto Shirdi Sai temple and spent

day and night there just with thepray "Give some food to my girl there". And

after 15 daysShirdi Sai gave again darshan to her and asked her "give me

food".Then my mom gave food in big pot and baba ate everything and blessedmy

mom and told "I will take care of her". On that day onwardsno matter of where I

am, I used to get enough food.Aunty tortured me in all ways as mentally. I

can not say now howmuch I got the mental tention there. She is great devotee of

SathyaSai Baba. And forced me to do bhajans to Sathya Sai. I used to hateher

that I don't want to do any pooja for him. Later on auntygave too much mental

torture and in nights I used to pray in frontof his (Sathya Sai) life size

picture and used to weap that I can notbear all these things. At that time

Sathay Sai baba blessed me withbooks of sanathana saradhi. By reading them I

used to get selfrealization and used to get some peace. Then onwards I am

greatdevotee of him also and I love him very much. Later on I used to cryfor

not realizing him when I am in India and very much desire aboutto get darshan

of him. One fine day he listened my words and cameinto my dream. In dream he is

laughing loudly and surprisinglyI am seeing him. But not doing anything. He

waited for some timeand gave chance to reach him but my mind hadn't get any

idea.He

disappeared.Then I realized and getting pain that I am unable to use that

chance.Then again with in 10 minutes he gave again darshan and againlaughing

loudly. Surprisingly I saw him again and I ran towardshim and I just his hands

into my hands very tightly. Then he stoppedhis laugh and told to me "You are

holding me very tightly. I justwant this" and he disappeared. On that day I got

so much of happy.Before this darshan one night I called up my parents and my mom

toldme that my dad got sugar disease. Then I cried a lot in mid nightthat am

here and I can not do anything for them. I prayed baba thatdon't do anything to

my parents(I am the only daughter for them).Then I am getting sixth sense that

Sathya Sai baba is giving darshanto me. But I prayed baba don't give darshan to

me, if he gives inthat stage I will die. And he didn't give any visible darshan

tome and but I smelled the jasmine flowers smell. I realized

that,that is "Vibhuthi" smell and baba is with me.And another day in work I

poured myself 160F of boiling water and myskin is getting bubbles and very much

red. I can not bare pain and Igot remembered that I had Shirdi vibhuthi with me

and ran to mypurse place and applied vibhuthi on my hand. Very very

astonishinglyI got rid with pain in 5 minutes and don't have any bubbles andred

marks on my skin. I am very fair. But I could not see any redcolor mark on my

hand. THIS IS JUST MIRACLE WITH MY BABA ONLY.And then he used to give messages

that come to India. And I amunable to take decision. So I left the decision to

him. After I leftmy decision to baba then with in one day I just got ticket

andwithin 2 days I am in India. The next day after I reached India, Ichecked my

mails and I got one mail from MAharshi University that Ican come and join there

in MS. I missed that. If baba doesn'tgive me ticket in one day I

would have stayed there only. But thatis not baba's wish.After I came to India,

with in 10 days I got dream about Shirdi SaiBABA first time. He gave me darshan

as in pure white and is veryvery handsome. He just gave darshan for 5 seconds

only. But I couldnot take that so I got afraid of him and got loose motions

allnight. I got sick.After that my life changed totally. When I am doing

bhajans I usedto get one scene all the time as movie in front of the eyes.

Thescene is like this "Shirdi Sai baba gave darshan and statueturned into real

human body, he gave place at his lotus feet betweenthe statue and Samadhi and

saying to everybody MY GIRL CAME TO MEAFTER SO LONG TIME. SEE HER. SHE IS MY

GIRL". And when he is sayingthese words he is very very very happy. I can't

describe it now. Thisis my first experience and this is not a dream. This

happened withall my senses are very much active.Like that baba

gave lot of things, lot of scenes. And he told aboutlot lot things. At that time

I didn't realize those are preciousmoments in my life. I don't know the value of

those scenes also.He used to give darshan all day and night. When I want to see

himjust I will close my eyes and the scene will start. I don't have anycontrol

on scenes. One day he asked me to put all 6 devils(kama,krodha………….) on his

feet then he can take control on them.but I gave him he did not accept that. I

gave him but I didn't acceptthat internally. Then he gave one punishment to me

that he didn'tgive any darshan for 3 days. If I close my eyes, I visioned

thatempty chair. He is not sitting there. Then I prayed him heart fully,then

after 3 days he gave darshan asked him to do heart fully again.And on that day

I did morning pooja and gave whole heartedly.At that time I saw, one white big

flower just dropped from me onhis feet. I don't know what that is at that

time. After wards when Iam reading the book of swami, in that book swami said

that is "MYHEART FLOWER". And I felt very happy.He gave so many scenes purely

based on my personal things. So Idon't want to relieve them here. Swami told me

"don'trelieve them people will laugh at you". So I won't. He told me somany that

how I can manage my "manasu", how I can behave with otherpeople, how can I

live……………not only these, everything what an humanbeing need in his/her life.

Everything he told to me. But at thatsame time I got mismanaged by some body.

When I am going to believethem, swami told me "those things I am not telling to

them to do.They are purposely doing." But at that time I could not figureit out

what is real thing. And managed me that I can take "sanyasam".My mom and dad

got so much pain with things. They asked me to comeback. But I am not in a

stage to listen. As I thought swami is doingall these. Some times

swami also gave wrong direction. At that timeI got very much angry on swami. But

if he don't do like that I wontget to know what they are doing and will go to

spoil myself. Now Irealized he gave wrong direction for my life only. He saved

me alot from that. I can not tell now. After that I thought he istalking

everyday and every minute when ever I want then also I justwent in to wrong

direction, then what about other people. I can notsay anything. But swami will

take care of them.After 6 months that I landed in India, he blessed me and gave

chanceto went to puttaparthi. Frist time in my life I got darshan. For 3days I

got very very closer darshan but he didn't see me. If hesaw my next person also

he didn't see me. I thought that he iswantedly doing. But I didn't think that I

am not going in his directionso he is giving punishment. But he told me that

when I am going toleave puttaparthi he will satisfy me. So last day of

my darshan I askedhim very angrily "if I am your girl then you have to see me.

Thenonly I will believe that I am your girl". So I got closer darshanof swami

and he just straightly looked into my eyes around 10 seconds.I can not control

myself and wept in darshan hall only. One widow ,who just sat by next to me,

she asked me that swami saw you what youasked him. I told her what I asked. And

I also I told her about mysituation. Then she got surprise and told me , "you

are very lucky,you had so much of relation with swami in poorva janmas, that is

whyhe is giving all darshan's, I am living in Prashanthinilayam frompast 30

years, I can not say how will be his path to get people toPrashanthinilayam.

With my experience with swami, I can say that hewont leave you, he will test

you in all ways, be prepare for that.He will give you very good life. Don't

leave him. You are very verylucky girl and you are his girl only. You can say

anybody that theyare good but you can not say they are god's child. But you are

god'schild. You gifted with that. I don't know why he choosed you.Just go in

his path. After conversation with her I felt very very veryhappy that she

realized what I am going through and she got beliefin me. Probably she met with

so many people in swami's ashramfrom past 30 years. At that my parents don't

have any belief on me.But she put belief on me. That's why I am so happy on

that day.After that when we are preparing to leave Puttaparthi, me and my

momgoing to museum, as Seva dal also told me Museum will open for3:00PM to

4:30PM. So we thought to go to museum and will go by trainat 5:30PM. I asked

around 5 to 10 Seva Dal members that the museumwill open or not?. All those

told me that will open. And we arewalking, suddenly swami came outside and

coming towards to southIndian canteen. I stood up in front of south Indian

canteen and

gotone more darshan. At this time the distance between swami and me isjust 1 or

2 feets. I got so much of satisfaction with this darshan.He saw my mom and

went. And we just walking towards to museum andagain I asked volunteer at the

back side gate of prashanthi nilayam,he told me that will close in the

afternoons. I got astonished andwe just returned to go into ashram. And again

the same seva dalperson told us that swami is going to stadium so run to main

road.Then my mom and myself started running towards main road and stoodfor

darshan and again he gave darshan very closely. At this time thedistance is 1

feet only. Again I got so much of satisfaction, thatmeans I reached upto

maximum and whatever happened in between to getthese 2 darshans , those are

swami's wish only. After these he toldme "close your eyes and come to me". I

just closed my eyes and I gotvision that "Swami is sitting in the chair. He

told me that takepada

namaskara, I took that. And he told me YOU ARE NOT HAPPY WITHME. SO I CAME TO

GIVE DARSHAN. NOW ARE YOU SATISFIED?(I said yes)YOU ARE MY CHILD. DON'T THINK

THAT YOU ARE NOT MY CHILD.", like thishe talked with me for 15 minutes and gave

permission to leaveputtaparthi. Really I got satisfied when I am leaving

puttaparthi.I told to swami that I can not decide what is correct and what

isnot, so give me right direction to go in to right path. After thatso many

things happened and then I got to know those people are sobad. And I left them

right away. I thought those will get goodlesson in life from swami because of

their thinking. Swami gavepunishment to me in lot of things why because I

didn't listen hiswords. Swami gave wrong direction to me and he showed me what

arethe things are going on outside by telling his name. then I leftthose

people. But I did things with those ,so swami gave big bigpunishment to me. And

he gave

lot of shakthi also to face thatpunishment.In the beginning stage Shirdi Baba

used to come in my visions andafter November 23rd 2003 swami came into my

visions. If I ask aboutShirdi Baba then only he gave darshan's in SHirdi roopam

otherwiseSwami took place in my scenes. At the first I dnt have believe thatboth

are one, as I had so much of luv in Shirdi baba , almost 3 or 4times I got one

vision that ,first I used to see SHIRDI BABA insimhasana and then slowly he is

turning into SATHYA SAI roopa. ThenI used to believe in both roopas.When I am

doing bhajan then I used to see one scene, that "I am athis lotus feet, sitting

and singing bhajana with whole heartedly andswami used to put his abhaya hastha

on my head all the way to mysinging". On Nov 23rd 2003, swami asked me "you

want ARTHANARISWARAROOPA darshan". I said `yes'. Then he gave me darshan. I

saweverything but I could not feel it. But now also that

picture gavepermanent impact on my manasu. I could not forget that darshan.

Iremembered each and every scene what swami gave to me. I askedswami, that I

caould not feel that darshan from bottom of my heart.He told me you can not

hold me so I am giving you partial darshan. Isaid ok.And one fine day lord

Ganapathi, KAlika devi amma (with ugraroopam), Swami (with ugra roopam) gave

darshans to me. Like a seriesI used to get visions on all these god's one by

one. First Ganeshaused to give darshan and pada namaskara, next amma used to

givedarshan and padanamaskara and swami used to give darshan andpadanamaskara

and then Shirid Sai. Almost all one month I got allthese god's darshans. In

those darshans amma told me "YOU ARE MYCHILD. YOU DIDN'T REMEMBER THAT. BUT I

KNOW. I KNOW YOU FROM VERYLONG TIME." , and took me in her hands and gave hug

and kiss.In one darshan amma gave KALIKA roopam , the scene is like this

"IAM TAKING PADA NAMASKARA FROM SHIRDI SAI. AND SUDDENLY SHIRDI BABA SAW SOME

DEVILS ARE COOMING ON ME. AND RIGHT AWAY GOT UGRA ROOPA AND SHOWING THEM HIS

RIGHT ARM FINGURE AND TOLD STAY THERE. AND baba SCREAMED VERY LOUDLY

"KALIKA………………..". THEN AMMA GAVE DARSHAN WITHUGRA ROOPAM AND KILL ALL THOSE

DEVILS. AND LATER ON BABA TOLD ME THOSE ARE MY KARMAS AND COMING TO EAT ME. HE

ASKED ME TO GIVE MANAGALA HARATHI TO AMMA. I GAVE TO HER AND SHE GAVE PADA

NAMASKARA TO ME AND BLESSED ME. I ASKED AMMA I AM NOT GETTING AFRAID BY SEEING

HER UGRA ROOPA. THEN SHE REPLIED YOU CAN NOT SEE MY UGRA ROOPA SO IAM SHOWING

YOU THE PARTIAL ONE.". like this I used to get alltime.I performed poojas in

Srisailam for Ganesha and Amma. There after Iperformed homam for Ganesha, after

completing that one, Ganesha gavedarshan and told me "NO PROBLEMS WILL COME TO

YOU" and gaveMANAGALASUTHRA for me. And as per amma's direction I took one

sari,blouse, kumkuma and

pasupu. There I noticed that people are notallowing anything near to amma. I

asked her what can I do. She toldme that "THEY WILL TAKE. YOU JUST TAKE OVER

THERE". And there I gaveit to priest then he accepted and just throwed those

things near toamma's feet. And I felt very happy. But I saw that he never

acceptedthe other people saris.And then amma gave one more vision and told that

"I GAVE MY BREASTMILK TO YOU. YOU DID NOT REMEMBER THAT. BUT I REMEMBERED. I

WILL DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU AS MOM. I WILL DO YOUR MARRIAGE." And she hugged me

and gave kiss. And she put kumkuma on my face and on the line in head and

pasupu she put that on my feet and also gave managaluthra with pasupu, kumkuma

on it. And then Swami and Shirdi baba also gave darshans and gave mangalasuthra

with kumkuma and pasupu.Like these so many things happened and so many things

they did andso many things told to me.One and more important thing that swami

showed

me. That is "SWAMI ISSITTING IN SIMHASANA. I JUST TOOK PADA NAMASKARA. AND RIGHT

AWAY I SAW THAT WE ARE IN MIDDLE OF THE HALL. THE HALL IS VERY BIG. I DIDN'T SEE

ANY ENDING WALLS FOR THAT HALL. BUT I SAW SEALING FOR THAT. IN THAT BIG HALL

THERE IS ONLY ONE SMALL UPSTAIR IS THERE. OTHER THAN THAT NOTHING I SAW. AND I

THOUGHT THAT IS DEVENDRA BHAVANAM. AND SWAMI SIMHASANA ALSO STRETCHED THAT I

CAN ALSO SIT ALONG WITH SWAMI. SWAMI ASKED ME TO SIT ON SIMHASANA. I SAT ON

SIMHASANA OPPOSITE TO SWAMI. AND HE PUT HIS ABHAYA HASTHA ON MY HEAD AND

STARTED READING SOME MANTHRAS. I THOUGHT THOSE ARE VEDAS. AFTERPERFORMED THOSE

AND I SAW EVERYBODY LIKE VISHNU,BRAHMA,SIVA,LAKSHMI,SARASWATHI,

DEVATHAS,ANGELS, MAHARSHIS, DEVATHALA GURUVU AND ETC………BUT I DIDN'T SEE

PARVATHI WITH THEM. THEYCAME AND POURING FLOWERS, AKSHINTHALU ON ME AND SWAMI

WHEN SWAMI PERFORMING THE MANTHRAS. SWAMI ASKED TO TAKE PADA NAMASKARA FROM ALL

THOSE. UP TO THAT I AM SEEING THEM IN AIR. THEY CAME ON FLOOR

OFHALL AND I TOOK PADA NAMASJARA FROM EACH AND EVERY BODY. SWAMI TOLD TO ME THIS

IS PERFORMED IN YOUR TIME UP TO 45 MINUTES BUT IN SPIRITUAL TIME 8 HOURS I

PERFORMED THIS. SWAMI TOLD THAT YOU ARE MYCHILD. IN LAST BIRTH ALSO YOU ARE MY

CHILD ONLY. YOU HAVE TO DO SO MANY THINGS FOR ME. FOR THAT I SELECTED YOU. NOW

ONWARDS YOU HAVE TO LIVE AS SAI'S CHILD. I WILL TELL YOU WHEN AND WHERE YOU

HAVE TO START MY COMMANDS. BUT BEFORE THAT YOU HAVE TO MOULD YOURSELF IN TO MY

WAY. IF PEOPLE SAW YOU, THEN RIGHT AWAY THEY WILL GET THOUGHT, YA SHE IS BABA'S

CHILD. LIKE THAT YOU HAVE TO MOULD YOURSELF. SO MANY PEOPLE ARE THERE. I DIDN'T

SELECTED THEM AS MY CHILD. BUT WITH YOUMY RELATION IS DIFFERENT. SO I GAVE AN

OPPORTUNITY TO YOU THAT YOU CAN OBLIGE MY COMMANDS AND DO THE THINGS

ACCORDINGLY. I AM WAITING FOR YOU FROM SO LONG TIME. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I

WAITED FOR YOU. NOW YOU CAME. STILL I AM WAITING FOR YOU. COME IN TO ME. COME

IN TO ME. YOU HAVE TO STAY SOME MORE TIME IN NORMAL

LIFE. YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF SOMETHINGS IN REAL LIFE, THEN ONLY I WILL CALL

YOU. UP TOTHAT YOU HAVE TO LEAD NORMAL LIFE. ONE DAY I WILL ANOUNCE YOU THAT

YOU ARE MY CHILD. DON'T FEEL BAD THAT I AM NOT GIVING ANY PADA NAMASKARA AND

NOT GIVING INTERVIEWS PHYSICALLY. MORE THAN THAT YOU HAD THIS OPPORTUNITY. THIS

IS IMPORTANT. NOT THE PHYSICAL THINGS.NOW SATISFY WITH THESE THINGS. AFTER THAT

AS YOUR HEART HAD DESIRE THAT YOU WANT TO LIVE WITH ME AND YOU WANT INTERVIEWS

AND PADA NAMASKARA……..I WILL GIVE EVERYTHING. BUT YOU HAVE TO WAIT FOR RIGHT

TIME. OUT SIDE PEOPLE THEY HAVE TO COME HERE AND THEN ONLY THEY CANSEE ME. IN

YOUR CASE THAT IS DIFFERENT , WHEN EVER YOU WANT AND WHERE EVER YOU WANT I AM

COMING IN TO YOUR PICTURE. IF I WISH ONLY THEN YOU CAN GET A CHANCE TO SEE ME

OTHERWISE NO. SO UTILISE IT." like this swami told me lot of things. And he

gave kiss on my fore head with love.After all the things over, my dad sent me

to Bangalore to get jobover here in Feb

2003 . As I came and I am trying job here. I missedswami so much and he called

me to puttaparthi. I went and gotdarshan. Her also he is the only one who is

giving direction. Heresome things are went wrong. In my visions once "SWAMI,

AMMA, SHIRIDSAI, ALL DEVATHAS, ALL MAHARSHIS AND ALL GODS AND GODESS ALONG

WITHTHRIMURTHI. BUT STILL ABSENCE OF PARVATHI HERE ALSO. AMMA TOOK MEINSIDE AND

SHE GAVE ABHYANGANA SNANA WITH HER OWN HANDS AND DIDALANKARA. I AM LOOKING LIKE

AS A BRIDE. BEFORE I CAM INSIDE, I SAWONE KALAYANA MANTAPA WHERE ONE GUY SAT

AND IN FRONT OF HIM ONEPRIEST. BELOW THE DIAS SWAMI, SHIRDI SAI, GANESHA,

THRIMURTHI TOOKSEATS ALONG WITH AMMA. AND AFTER THAT ALL ASSEMEBLED IN THE

HALL.THIS HALL SAME AS I GOT IN ANOTHER VISION AS ABOVE. WITH EVERYTHINGAMMA

CAME WITH INTO HALL AND TO SIT BESIDES OF ONE PERSON. I SAT ONDIAS. THEY ARE

PERFORMING MY MARRIAGE. THAT I CAN UNDERSTAND. I AMSURPRISINGLY SEEING

EVERYTHING. SWAMI TOLD

ME THAT DEVATHALA GURUVUIS PERFORMING YOUR MARRIAGE. AFTER THEY PERFORMED

EVERYTHING THEYTOLD ME TO TAKE PADA NAMASKARA FROM EVERY BODY. I WENT TO

TAKESWAMI'S PADA NAMASKARAM FIRST. BUT SWAMI REFUSED AND TOLD ME TO TAKEGANESH

PADA NAMASKARAM FIRST. HE BLESSED ME "DEERGA SUMANGALI BHAVA".AND THEN I TOOK

AMMA'S, SHE BLESSED ME WITH "DEERGASUMANGALI BHAVA". AND TOLD ME THAT YOU ARE

MY CHILD SO I AM DOINGEVERYTHING FOR YOU. I WILL SEND YOU TO YOUR HOME WITH

EVERYTHINGTHAT ONE INDIAN GIRL NEEDS IN HUSBANDS HOME. I WILL GIVE

PASUPU,KUMKUMA, SARE EVERYTHING. AND AMMA HUGGED ME AND I SAW TEARS IN HEREYES.

AND THEN I TOOK SHIRDI SAI'S PADA NAMASKARA, BABA HUGGED MEWITH GREAT LOVE AND

CRYING VERY MUCH THAT "ARE YOU LEAVING ME NOW".THEN I GOT TEARS IN MY EYES. AND

THEN I WENT TO TAKE SWAMI'S PADANAMASKARAM. HE DIDN'T SHOW ANY FACE FEELING. AND

I GOT ASTONISHED.BUT I SAW INE THING THAT HIS EYES ARE LITTLE BIT WET. HE IS

GETTINGVERY

PAIN IN HIS HEART. AND THEN I TOOK FROM EVERY BODY'S PADANAMASKARAM AND AFTER

THAT AMMA PERFORMED SO MANY POOJAS IN PRESENCEOF ALL AND THEY SENT ME TO MY

HUSBANDS HOUSE. AMMA GAVE ME EVRYTHING.After these two major scenes I am

getting every day swami in myvisions he is telling me what I can do. If I am

not listeninganything then right away he is giving punishment then I can

mouldmyself totally into his way. And I had an habit of not listeningsome

things from my parents. I had so much affection and love onthem. but still some

times I wont listen. Swami made me to listentheir words. For some time, like

almost 3 or 4 months swami rarelycame into my visions. At that time he didn't

give any help. I amgoing through the hard time at that period. So I used to

take mydad's decisions in that. After went through all I got angry on swamiand

told him "you are not seeing me. If I made mistake and gave painto them also,

my parents are

doing help for me. So I am going togive everything first to them and then only

you. I will give respectfirst to them and then only you". In angry I told to

him like this.But in reality swami made me to give everything to my parents

firstand then only him. After that he gave vision in that he told me "NOWYOU

ARE MY CHILD. NOW I AM SO HAPPY. YOU ARE SAI'S CHILD.". He toldme like this why

because, I decided that I will give all rights onme to my parents in all

aspects, means my desire now is what everthey are thinking and want that come

in to true in their lives.Their goal is obviously me. So I decided that to give

all happinessto them. so swami told me like that.When he is in White field, I

went for darshan. At that time i gotselected in one big MNC company but they

are delaying to send myoffer letter to me. I asked swami in vision about that.

He told methat "YOU WILL GET OFFER FROM THAT COMPANY ONLY. YOU ARE NOT

GOINGTO ANY OTHER COMPANY. IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN. JUST BE WITH PATIENCE."After

that the same company gave offer letter and now Iam working for that company

only. And on Eshwaramma's day he told tocome to White Field. I went there with

my friend. And I am in verymuch pain on that day and asked swami, you are not

seeing me frompast few days. You forgotten me. If I am your girl then give a

lookat me today. And then I am in darshan line swami came with injuredhand on

terrous and gave straight look at me. My friend is asking heknows you or what?

(she don't have belief on him). I felt happy. Andswami gave vision and told to

me that "YOU ARE GOING TO GET OFFERLETTER FROM THAT COMPANY. BUT SHE IS NOT(my

friend)". She alsoselected to the same company where I got selected. As swami

said ithappened. I am in this company only. But she is not.In another vision

swami angryly walking in one room and showing myfriend and told to me

that "I WILL TAKE CARE OF HER. I WILL TAKECARE OF HER. I WILL SEE HER". I didn't

understand at that time. Butafter wards I realized that how much she did on back

of me. Then Irealized that words importance. Like same vision came in

anotherfriend case also. Then I got realized that person after wards. Likethat

swami is telling to me before only. But because of maya I amnot realizing those

things.If I do any mistakes by knowingly or, not by knowingly also, he usedto

come in visions and used to give slaps on my face. Once swamitold me that don't

give pain to your parents but I called them upand screamed on them. They got

pain. Right away swami came in to myvisions and gave slaps like left and right

on my face. That is notgiving real impact as physical. But it is giving so much

of impacton my heart. Then I am not doing those afterwards. Some times withvery

much of love he used to call me and used to beat a lot. He

wontspare if I do anything wrong. if still I am not listening he willgive hard

punishment to my life. I dnt give any path to escape fromthat. I have to bare

that. That's it.He had so much of love on me. And at the same time, he is very

cruelin giving punishments.But I never saw Shirid sai as angry on me. Shirdi

Sai used to tellvery convincingly the things but not swami. I heard that Shirdi

Saiform is with Anger as he is siva and Swami form is love as he isShiva

Shakthi. But in my case it is just opposite. Shirdi Sai usedto give lot of love

to me and Swami used to beat me in many things.Some times if I want to cry just

I will go to Swami and put my headon his lap and holding his legs with my two

arms tightly and used tocry. Swami used to put his hand on head with great

affection.All of the things above swami is commanding to go and fullfill

myparents wish. Swami is telling first give

everything to your parentsand then to me. They are ordent devotees of baba.

Particularly mymom is very much follower of baba. Oneday swami came into my

visionand told me "First full fill your parents wish. You have to followwhat

they are saying. You have to take care of them. I am not goingto full fill your

wishes. There is no space of your wish. Whateveryour parents wish will then i

will do their wish not yours. Solisten and follow their words. If you don't

follow thier words iwon't be with you. If you follow, whatever you pray for, i

will dothat."..........so on.........In this way swami mould me into myparents

path. Now they are happy. Previously also they don't haveany unbelief on me.

But in some cases i wont listen their words. Nowswami made me to listen their

words in all ways. My parents are veryhappy now and they very very much

thankful to swami. I will start my story after getting job in a big company.

After getting job I am trying to settle in that. My manager and my team leader

are not that much co-operated with me. They used to play games with me. At the

beginning only I had all these experiences in a new weather. I used to ask baba

why all these are coming to me only? Why you are not taking care of me? But

after wards I realized that BABA is with me all the time. Things are showing

the wrong result to my eyes, at that time I didn’t understand that wrong things

will give good rapport for my future job life. When the time is moving on then I

realized that, what ever I thought I got bad result in work they turned into

very very good results to me. To understand more on this, I will narrate one

incident which I had in work life. When I am in a busy schedule in job, I got

very very bad experiences in my life. Because of my personal life I could not

concentrated on work life that much. At that time I got one warning from my

next superior. She told they are considering me as out of that project. Means

indirectly she is telling that I need to move from that project to another one.

And also she has given me 15 days time span. In those 15 days I need to show my

work then only they will consider me in that project only otherwise no. I

didn’t say anything. Because I did mistake. Now I need to show off myself. I

told to one of my dearest colleague. He and his wife are great friends to me.

He told to me that he got report that “they are acting too much. There is no

need to move you from this project. But they are threatening because they want

to

give a slap on your mental condition. And you are also did some mistake. So they

are telling that to change the project. Show yourself to them. They need to come

back and need to ask you please stay with this team only. In that way you have

to show off yourself. I will also give help to you in this thing. They gave you

15 days. But we will show them with in 3 days…” like this he told he is ready to

help me out. On that night I called up my dad and asked, tomorrow I am going to

start my real work, pls pray baba to be with me. And my dad told for sure I

will ask baba. Then next day early morning he got up early and took bath, and

started to read SAI SACHARITHRA. And prayed baba “whatever my child is going to

do these 3 days please help her. And I will come to puttaparthi and will give

you what ever the amount my child wants to give you.” Then I went to company

I started of doing work. I even didn’t go for tea or for lunch. I spent the day

just doing the work. Astonishingly I finished off my work at 4:00PM completely.

Everybody got surprised how I did that. Because that work my team members are

doing from past 15 days. But I finished off within 8 hours. My team leader and

manager are very very much satisfied with me. And I didn’t take any help from

my colleague. He also got surprised how I did that. Now I can tell that, even I

don’t know how I finished that. I am not getting words anything to explain.

Previously for that work, I didn’t get ideas that much. But on that day when I

started my work, my mind went thorough full of ideas. Now I had

question by myself. Before why I didn’t get that many ideas? Previously also I

used the same brain. But now I got so many and able to finish that work. Its

not my greatness, its only baba. When I started work on that day I closed my

eyes and prayed baba, he came into my vision and showed abhayahastha and told

to me I WILL BE WITH YOU. GO AHEAD. Really baba showed everything. When people

are praising me I am thinking that for these things I am not right person,

everything will go to baba only. This is not my greatness. They given me 15

days, I planned for 3 days, but work got over with in 1 day. Whatever the image

I spoiled in work life by myself baba gave me within 8 hours. Its not like

giving back, by comparing the previous image baba given me more than 100%.

Within day it’s like I climbed 10 steps at a time. Even my dad also got

surprised. After next day my manager called me and told to me “that you are

acting beyond my expectations. From past 10 days whatever happened is

happened. I want to forget. I am more satisfied with your work what ever you did

yesterday. I got report that everybody got satisfied with you………..” like this he

praised a lot. IT HAPPENED BECAUSE MY BABA ONLY. After that incident I didn’t do

the work like what I worked on that day. i am unable to show my work that much

what I showed before. Means what? I worked normally as per my energy, not

beyond of that. On the struggled day it happened because of baba only. And at

that time my dad prayed that what ever the amount I wanted to give baba, that

amount he will go puttaparthi for himself and he will give it to him. There is

a big story behind this pray. Actually when I am trying for job, I told to baba

that I will give my

first salary to SATHYA SAI SUPER SPECIALITY HOSPITAL. After I got job, I joined

in company the middle of the month. So in result I got half month salary. Now I

am puzzled that I need to give full month amount or half month amount. One day

baba gave me darshan in my vision and I asked how much amount I need to give.

BABA told me YOU WANT TO GIVE YOUR FIRST SALARY. YOU GOT HALF MONTH SALARY AS

FIRST NA. SO GIVE ME

HALF MONTH SALARY. Then I asked baba I am not satisfied with half month salary I

will give full month salary. Then BABA got angry on me and showing anger and

told “GIVE WHAT EVER YOU WANT. Don’t ASK ME”. I thought “Oh why I asked like

that. What ever baba wants that much amount I will give”. After that I told

about this incident to my parents. Here I need to tell one thing. My dad

doesn’t have any belief on SATHYA SAI BABA. He is devotee of SHIRDI SAI. So my

mom and I, we are praying that “give him realization about you”. So my dad

asked how much amount you got as first salary. I told around 12,500. Right away

he changed his feelings and asked me “Is there any need to give to him that much

amount?”. I am not ready for this question and got pain in my heart. I got anger

on my dad and told, “If you wish or not I am going to give that amount. Don’t

ask me like this again”. But in reality I am not ready to give that much amount

whole heartedly with out my dad’s permission. And I prayed

baba give an experience to him that he can come and give that amount by him.

After this incident it took 5 months to donate my salary to hospital. After 5

months baba gave one experience to my dad. What ever I narrated my work

incident above that happened. After that my dad told me that, he prayed baba

like this “if he shows his miracle in your work life then I told him myself

will come to puttaparthi and will give that amount by myself”. Because my dad

didn’t went to puttaparthi up to that incident. So baba showed miracle and my

dad is ready to go and getting belief on him. Same time baba gave the

experience to my dad and also he gave good things in my work life. Last

summer when baba is in white field, my dad came to Bangalore along with my

mom’s sister. She also devotee of baba. So she wants to go to white field. In

the morning both came and in the evening we planned to go. But at 3:30PM we

started from my place. We got doubt that baba will be there in darshan hall or

not? Why because previously I went to have darshan baba is not sitting that

much time in darshan hall. I don’t know what I can do. So I closed my eyes,

baba gave darshan and I asked “Can we start now and come there?” BABA said

“Start now and come”. Just without hope we started. It will take at least 1

hour from my place to white field. But still, baba told to me I started. Around

4:30PM we started in

auto. We went to white field around at 5:10 PM. And at 5:20 PM we are in darshan

hall. BABA IS THERE IN DARSHAN HALL. I GOT JOY AND CLOSED MY EYES. BABA GAVE

DARSHAN. VERY HAPPILY I AM SEEING BABA AND HE TOLD, I TOLD YOU TO COME. At

5:30PM baba left the hall. We are able get darshan of baba. I asked devotees

there at what time baba came into darshan hall. They told around 4:15PM or 4:30

PM baba came and sat almost more than 1 hour. After heard that I went through so

much of joy. The very next day early morning he left to puttaparthi. And I got

offer letter from big company. I went for darshan on 14th may 2005

afternoon, after swami came to Bangalore. We got 7th token line. We just sat

there and waiting for swami darshan eagerly. I don’t know whether swami will

come or not. I am worrying that if he doesn’t come then how can I hold my

heart. While I am sitting in Ramesh hall, swami told me CLOSE YOUR EYES AND

COME TO ME. I closed my

eyes, swami gave darshan “I TOOK PADANAMASKARA AND SAT AT THE LOTUS FEET OF

SWAMI. HE TOLD ME THAT I WILL COME DON’T WORRY, I WILL SHOW YOU GOOD GUY. I AM

LOOKING FOR A GUY THAT HE NEED TO GIVE SUPPORT TO YOU WHAT EVER YOU DO IN

FUTURE FOR ME. I WANT THAT GUY. I WILL SHOW HIM. YOU HAVE TO GIVE IMPACT ON

PEOPLE WHOE EVER WILL COME TO YOU WITH THE PROBLEMS. THEY NEED SOME GUIDENCE.

YOU HAVE TO GIVE GUIDENCE TO THEM WITH MY SUGGESTION. BECAUSE OF YOU THEY

SHOULD MOULD THEMSELVES INTO GOD AND SHOULD FOLLOW THE GOD. YOU HAVE TO DO LIKE

THAT. FOR YOU WHATEVER YOU NEED I WILL GIVE YOU EVERYTHING. WHOME EVER I WILL

SHOW YOU LEAVE THOSE PEOPLE. WITH THEM YOU WON’T BE HAVE GOOD LIFE. I WILL GIVE

DARSHAN TO YOUR MOM. SHE WILL SATISFY WITH THAT DARSHAN. I WILL COME FOR DARSHAN

TODAY, DON’T WORRY DEAR.” AFTER HIS HOLLY SUGGESTIONS TO ME I THOUGHT WHAT EVER

SWAMI WILL TELL THAT WON’T BE HAPPEN. LET’S SEE IF SWAMI TOLD TRUTH OR NOT. And

then at 4:15PM I heard the music that indicated that my beloved swami is coming.

Heart beat got up that I am lucky to had his darshan. Now a days swami is not

giving regular darshans in Bangalore as he got injure on his right hand. He

came into darshan hall with injured hand. I can tell that swami is sooooooo

cute. After seeing swami I could not controlled my self and I started weeping.

I am getting clear darshan of swami. His right hand is totally covered by

cloth. And I can see only left hand and my most beloved lotus feet. I started

weeping and at the same time i closed my eyes, and got vision. In vision swami

is not having any injured hand. He is healthy. He asked me “WHY YOU ARE

WEAPING? I DIDN’T GET ANY INJURED HAND, SEE MY HAND(HE MOVED HIS HAND IN THE

AIR). I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING

(WHILE TALKING, SWAMI PUT HIS HAND ON MY HEAD AND HUGGED ME). I TOLD HIM THAT ‘I

HATE YOU. WHY BECAUSE IN PREVIOUS VISION YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU GOT INJURE ON YOUR

LEFT ARM. NOW IT IS RIGHT HAND. I HATE YOU. I CAN’T SEE YOU LIKE THIS. WHY YOUR

ARE DOING LIKE THIS? WHY YOU ARE GETTING ALL THESE THINGS? I HATE YOU. I HATE

YOU. I HATE YOU’…WHILE I AM SAYING I HATE YOU REPEATEDLY, SWAMI SEEING ME WITH

SMILING AND HAPPY FACE, HE TOLD ME “I LOVE YOU”. RIGHT AWAY I STOPPED TO SAYING

I HATE YOU THEN RISHED NEAR TO SWAMI, I SAT DOWN AT LOTUS FEET AND HOLDED TWO

LEGS VERY TIGHTLY. SWAMI PUT HIS HAND ON MY HEAD. I AM WEAPING. HE TOLD ME

DON’T WEAP.” Then I opened my eyes, I saw swami “AGAIN HE SAID DON”T WEAP DEAR>

I AM SEEING YOU”. Just tears are floating from my eyes I am keeping on saying I

HATE YOU in my heart. After 10 mints swami gave darshan as Siva Parvathi and I

saw them as they are sitting on white stone. Firstly I went to Parvathi and

took padanamaskara. Then I saw Siva as swami. I

thought WHY I CAME TO AMMA FIRST> I SHOULD HAVE TAKE SWAMI FIRST, as I had love

on swami. BUT SWAMI TOLD YOU SHOULD TAKE FIRST AMMA’S PADANAMASKARA THEN ME.

Why he told like this I don’t know. After taking padanamaskara from amma, then

I took padanamaskara from Siva(now swami transformed in to Siva). Then I hold

legs tightly of amma and Siva. Then now Siva and Shakthi turned into form of

Swami. I took his padanamaskara. After bhajan, aarthi started. Swami is ready

to go. HE asked me “YOU DON”T HAVE PADANAMASKARA FROM ME”. Then I closed my

eyes and rushed to his lotus feet and took padanamaskara. Then we went to home

with satisfaction. Next day 15th May, when we are preparing to go to white

field again, time getting out and still my mom is doing house

hold things. I told her not to do now, after coming from darshan we can do, now

we are getting late. But she didn’t listen. She and my dad told, you go first.

I don’t want to leave without them. That’s why I am waiting. After started we

saw watches are showing 3:00PM. I got anger right away. My dad got puzzled. We

are seeing the clock and it showing that 2:00PM but watches are showing 3:00PM.

Then I thought may be we will get darshan or not. I am worrying and screamed on

my mom. When we are coming I got vision that, SWAMI ANGRILY TOLD ME THAT COME

NOW< I WILL GIVE DARSHAN. BUT

I WILL PUNISH YOU BECAUSE YOU SCREAMED ON MOM. I got fear what he is going to

do. If he say like that then he will sure punish me. I got afraid. After went

to ashram just swami is about to leave. Aarthi is started. Just I got one clear

glance of swami. Swami went inside. Then I got tears. I couldn’t stand in

ashram. I reached my mom again I am screamed on her. I want to show my anger on

her, but I am afraiding of swami in heart. I scream again he will sure give

punishment. But anger defeated my fear. And again I screamed and got into

silence. I know now, what swami is going to give punishment. But I could not

controlled my pain that I missed 20 minutes of swami’s darshan. My dad told me,

“you are in presence of baba, you should not get that much anger, what ever his

wish, that only people will get, if you screamed like this what will baba do?,

ask him” I replied my dad “I know, I screamed in home that’s why he punished me

like this. But I didn’t know that he is going to do like

this. You people will come whole week morning and evening. But I need to go to

office. In week ends only I can get darshan. In week days I can’t na. so I

could not controlled that”. Then my dad understood me and told to my mom and

me, keep quite. But I felt very bad. After aarthi, announcement came as that

the festival(Holly fire and poornahithi) will start on Monday and will go for 3

days. I got little bit of satisfaction that I can come in mornings and can get

darshan. If any festival is there swami will come there for sure for few

minutes. On 16th May, we went to ashram around 6:30AM in the morning. I saw

the hall got filled with

crowd. Then I realized I won’t be get clear darshan of swami. Swami came after

7”00AM. I got darshan, but not clear. So I went at the end of the hall and got

darshan, full of swami around half an hour. I realized that for yesterday’s

action he gave me punishment that’s it. After knowingly did my mistakes also

swami blessed me with darshan. So I went to office with satisfaction. On

Feb2006( i think on 16th), Swami came into lines in white field and took my

letter. I wrote letter with much pain around 3 days. When i am writing letter,

tears are comming from eyes without my control. After finished the letter i

tried to post it. But it not happened for 2 months. Now he took my letter and

accepeted. Swami had grace on my mom ratherthan me. So i gave letter to my mom

and swami took that letter. From past 1 week swami is giving regular darshans

in my dreams. i dont know why he is comming every day. I am having blissfull

darshans. First he came into my dream very very clearly. I am with swami and

with very few devotees in a hall. Everybody seated in lines. First swami walked

in junts side. Then he came to ladies line. And came very near to me and gave

padanamaskara. And he is singing bhajans and walking all over the hall. Then i

woke up, and he disappeared. But i felt that is real darshan.........i felt

that swami truely is standing infront of me. I am not felt like that is in

dream. SO MANY THINGS ARE THERE ABOUT SWAMI IN MY LIFE. HE IS WITH ME, INME,

BESIDE ME, TOP OF ME. HE IS TAKING CARE OF EACH AND EVERYTHING.I DID SO MANY

MISTAKES IN MY LIFE. HE GAVE PUNISHMENT AND STILLGIVING PUNISHMENTS. BUT THOSE

ARE NOT PHYSCIAL THINGS. HE IS GIVINGPUNISHMENTS TO MY "HEART". AND IS GIVING

OPPORTUNITY AND HELPING METO REALIZE MYSELF

INNERLY. BECAUSE OF HIM ONLY I AM GETTING SELFREALIZATION. MY PARENTS ALSO CAN

NOT TAKE CARE OF ME LIKE THIS. ONLYSWAMI WILL DO. I AM WAIITNG A CALL FROM HIM.

THEN I CAN JUMP IN TOHIM AND SERVE HIM WITH MY SMALL LIFE.Thanks for Swami by

giving an opportunity that I can share myexperiences with some body else's. And

they can enjoy. Probably theycan see Swami's path differently in my

case.Thanking YouSai DevoteeMUKESH BHADRESA <mukeshbhadresa (AT) (DOT) co.uk> wrote:

SAI RAM Dearest Brothers and Sisters Is there anyone who would LOVE to

share, on their own experiences of Swami which has changed their lives. I

would love to hear from

you............YES YOU

Jiyo cricket on India cricket

Messenger Mobile Stay in touch with your buddies all the time.

[Guest guest]

Sai Ram Neelima,

Thank you for your e-mail, it answered a few questions.

Sai Ram,

Mari-Elise

neelima gogineni schreef:

Hi mukesh

 

Yes i had so many. Actually i would like to narrate

my story. But i left that as a thought only. After seeing your mail,

now i would like to narrate atleast some of them. But it will be too

long mail. Please pardon me for that.