WHEN HE TOUCHES YOUR HEART-By Sonja Engman Wilson

[Guest guest]

decided to go and see Him in person. In The beginning… Deep Sorrow But let me

start with the beginning. In January 2000, my husband was diagnosed with cancer

and he was slowly dying. I was in deep sorrow and prayed much to God for help. I

told God I would help other people if only He would let my husband live. I was

very desperate over the whole situation, and I could not sleep at night. I read

a lot of spiritual books and often went to the small library in our village in

which we lived in New Zealand . The Scent of Sai One day at the library I was

looking at the bookshelves in the

spiritual section, and my eyes caught sight of a book called A Catholic Priest

Meets Sai Baba. I read a few pages and decided it was worth taking home. Next

to it was another book Sai Baba - The Holy Man and Psychiatrist by Dr. Samuel

H. Sandweiss. Again I skimmed through the book and found it worth reading.

Strangely both the books smelled of incense, and I thought some hippies had

read them, who had used incense sticks. I felt attracted by the fragrance and

did not give it any more thought. I first read A Catholic Priest Meets Sai

Baba and understood his doubt about the catholic faith. Then I started reading

Samuel Sandweiss’ book, and I was fascinated about what Sai Baba could do. Many

years ago I had read Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda, so I knew

in my heart without doubt, that man can develop supernatural abilities through

divine love and understanding. When I finished the second book

the incense fragrance vanished. I suddenly remembered that Samuel Sandweiss had

written that Sai Baba could contact you wherever you lived in the world by

scents of vibhuti, kumkum and sweet amritha. I wondered if He had contacted

me? I was unsure about it but at the same time I felt a great truth coming to

me, as if I had found something I had been searching and longing for my whole

life. “My Faith Grew Stronger Everyday” I started to meditate on Swami in my

morning meditations and very soon I had strong faith in Him. Strangely He

seemed to give me the necessary peace and strength to help my husband every

day. My husband told me he felt totally at peace and his eyes were so

beautifully clear. My husband’s health deteriorated quickly and in desperation

I wrote a letter to Sai Baba. In anguish I poured

my heart out and talked to Sai Baba as God and as a dear, close friend. Every

day I prayed and talked with Swami. I promised Swami to take care of elderly

people, to help anybody, wherever I could, to change myself - just would He let

my husband live. I was really bargaining with God. As if I did not know, it was

of no avail. In the end I prayed to Baba, “If it was the karmic will that my

husband’s time was up, please do not let my sweet husband have any pain.” It

was a painful and confused letter. One day, maybe one week before my husband

passed away something very strange happened. I was with my husband and suddenly

felt a very wonderful feeling in my hands. I looked down at them, and it was as

if they were not my hands. I was amazed over this feeling, and let this love

pour into my husband. A slow stream of peace and love out of my control poured

to him. He looked at me and said, “ Puska,

your hands are so filled with love.” Tears ran down my face and the strange

beautiful feeling of love coming from another source was at this moment so

divine. I silently thanked Sai Baba, because I had been praying how could I

show my husband my deep love for him, not only by the help I gave him everyday,

but on a very deep soul level. Swami heard my prayer. How immense is His grace

and love for us! I knew in my heart without doubt that it was Bhagavan Sai

Baba that showered my husband with divine love through me, and that He was in

us and around us. My husband died a few days later in our home and I helped him

over, telling his soul to go towards the love and light and his death was

peaceful. The next morning when family

and friends were gathered beside my husband’s body to say a last good-bye,

another strange and beautiful incident happened to me. I was alone by my

husband’s body and suddenly I felt so much anguish. In great agony I called out

to God. Suddenly, I felt my husband’s voice tell me “Puska, this is not my body

I am here, I am here”. Then I experienced a feeling of great ecstasy so strong

that I could hardly stand. I am sure it was Bhagavan’s grace reassuring me that

there is no death. As time went by, people with problems started coming to me

and I tried to help them as well as I could as I had promised Swami. My faith

in Bhagavan Baba was very strong, like a rock. I felt I had been given a

purpose in life and I grew stronger every day. Journey to Joy With No Visa! I

now started trying to find more information about Swami and read everything that

I could

get my hands on. Two years after my husband’s death, I decided to go back to

Denmark, where I was born to see where life would take me from there. In April

2003, I booked a flight to take me to India to Bhagavan on my way back to

Denmark. I wanted to see Him, to feel His Love and thank Him from my heart for

all that He had done for me. At that stage I did not know that Sai Baba would

try my faith in Him. I booked my flight and confirmed with two travel offices

in New Zealand that I did not need a visa to enter India. The plane made a

stop-over in Kuala Lumpur and the next evening while I was boarding the flight

to Bangalore I saw a woman who I felt was from Scandinavia. She was called

Riita and was from Finland, but lived in Bangalore with her son and husband who

was working in Bangalore. She told me that she was in Malaysia to have her visa

renewed. “I hope you have a proper visa” she said, “if not they won’t let you

in.” Very worried I told her that

I had no visa and she said that the immigration authorities would not let me in.

Then we found our seats and I did not see her anymore. We landed in Bangalore

late at night. Passport control asked me for my visa and I told them that I did

not have one and had been misguided in New Zealand. They told me that I had to

leave India immediately. During the whole flight I had an A4 size picture of

Sai Baba with me. I showed the passport control staff the picture and told them

that I had come to see Sai Baba. They repeated that I had to leave but I

insisted I had to see Sai Baba to thank Him. They took me into a small office

where I told them about my husband’s death and about Sai Baba coming into my

life. They listened, but were firm that I could not stay in India as I had no

visa. More airport staff arrived and discussed my case. I was sitting in a

chair and all the other passengers had finally gone. Strangely I was at

peace, but very sad. The staff would not change their position and I realized

that they were only doing their duty. Here was I, a 60 year old lady with white

hair, in sorrow over my husband's death, landing in such a pitiful situation and

yet so full of hope to see my beloved Swami. I was thinking, “ Why hast thou

forsaken me Lord; or are you trying my faith in You?” I just sat there quietly,

firm like a rock waiting for a miracle, because I was there to see Swami - and

the miracle came in form of a woman. God Always Sends Help Suddenly the

Finish women Riita returned and showed her visiting card and also some other

papers confirming her husband’s work with

Volvo in Bangalore to the officials. She asked if she could be of any help.

Finally after a long time they agreed to let her take me home and to be my

guarantor. I was given a 72 hours ‘Landing Permit’ in my passport so that I

could try and arrange for a ‘10 Days Staying Permit’. I thanked them from my

heart and went with my new friend Riita into the bustling, hot Bangalore night.

Swami had helped me. Now began three hectic days to get a stamp in my passport

for 10 days in India. Everyday we ran from office to office and I do not recall

how many places we were sent to. Some offices were closed or open at odd times.

We were sent to some places twice and there were a lot of people waiting

everywhere. Hour after hour we waited in the hot weather. My mind shut down - I

was not there. I dreamed about seeing Sai Baba for the first time as I looked at

His picture. I would never have been able to do this by myself, running around

in a big city like Bangalore in the heat had it not been for Riita. After three

days I had my legal papers and I thanked Riita and her husband profoundly for

all the help they had given me. Then it was time to go to Brindavan, Baba’s

ashram in Bangalore. The Reason for Riita’s Return The last day at Riita’s

place I suddenly had a strange feeling and looked at her asking, “Riita, what

made you came back into the airport and help me out?” She said “I was thinking

of you in the aeroplane and I felt terribly sorry for you. I knew you were in

for a hard time and would be sent out of India, because nobody can enter

without a visa. After dinner I listened to some in-flight music in my earphones

and I started talking to God. I am a Christian you know. 'God', I said,'if you

want me to help this Danish lady then You must play two Finnish songs for me.'

And then I heard them!

First a classical piece and then followed a Finnish folk song. So God wanted me

to help you - that is why I came back!” “Riita”, I said “are you sure that you

heard Finnish songs?” She looked a little hurt and said: “Of course I am sure.

I know both these songs.” And she started humming them for me. I stared at

Riita and felt the small hairs on my neck standing up, for I could not believe

that during their in-flight music Malaysian Airlines would play two Finnish

folksongs! “Riita,” I said with tears in my eyes, “these are strange and

wonderful things Sai Baba does to people to help them all over the world.”

“No,” she said, “it was not that man, it was God who helped you!”

Next day they drove me to Brindavan, where I had my first Darshan with the

living, loving Lord Sai. When I saw Him the first time, it was as if someone

had poured cups of water down my cheeks. I had never cried so much. It cleaned

my heart. I have been thinking about all this over and over again during the

last few years. I even wrote and e-mailed Malaysia Airlines twice, asking them

to send their in-flight magazine, so I could check the music but they never

replied back. I was never in doubt that Sai Baba was the divine director in the

whole play. Swami tells us, that all names are His, Riita prayed to the same

Lord. What an incredible play! Why did He let two travel agencies in New

Zealand tell me that I did not need a visa? I also realized later He let me

through in Kuala Lumpur Airport with no visa to India! Why did He let me land

in India without any visa in the first place? Was it to try

my faith? I could have let myself been escorted to an aeroplane to Copenhagen

from Bangalore. But I didn’t. I had to see and thank Him. We all know that Sai

Baba sends the right person, when we are in distress. Riita was the one, whom I

felt drawn to in Kuala Lumpur ’s departure lounge. He made that happen.

Bhagavan let Riita hear what she asked for, namely two Finnish songs. She was

then bound by her promise to Him, to go and help me.In The End… Joy, Strength

and Wisdom In my hardest time of sorrow and tribulations Sri Sathya Sai Baba

helped me to overcome it all by trusting in Him. Sai Baba has given me such

love, peace and strength that I have never dreamt of. I am still helping

people, visiting old people, and comforting and helping people with many

different problems. It gives me joy and Bhagavan Baba gives me strength and

wisdom. If you are called to His Lotus Feet you

never want to let go of them again. We are safe if we “Let go – let God.”

(Sharing With Sai Love) Ram.ChuganiRam ChuganiKobe, Japanrgcjp

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