RE:request 2

[Guest guest]

>>>"Sadvi i want the Mula Mantra to medittate. I dont have any wishes

nor am expecting anything from her.

Sadhvi there are many things which cannot be shared.

Please help me

I thik i boared you "<<

 

Dear jesh...

No..please do not think you have bored me or anything of that kind.

Your devotion to Maa Kali is so clear...I know She will answer your

prayers directly. Why do these things happen when they do? I do not

know. For many many years, I had a deep longing for true mantra

initiation, instruction and to know, somehow, that the Divine Mother

was truly hearing my prayers to Her. Sometimes I would think, "yes";

other times, "no" or not being sure. I would cry (many times for days

on end) at my puja...just with the longing you are expressing.

Finally, I realized that I had to let go of what I thought should

happen and when it should happen. I had many experiences with "false"

teachers, many difficult things to go through. But I kept doing my

sadhana because it was the one thing I never doubted. I think Swamiji

and Shree Maa give very good advice...to understand what it is that

you truly want (beyond the mantra itself...what is your deep longing)

and then to keep your attention focused on that. I would ask myself

this question when things seemed to get very difficult in my life or

when I felt it was "time" for me to receive something but

that "something" was not coming...(a practice or a mantra et.).

Suddenly, around a year ago, everything opened in my life...and many

things I had prayed for 15 years ago begin to flow in....but so

unexpectedly...because my attention was focused on what I "truly

wanted" beneath everything...to be fully immersed in that union with

Pure Consciousness. when I received these things that I had so much

longing for earlier in my sadhana, I could see how they would not have

been good for me to receive earlier because I was not balanced enough

to handle them..this is just my experience. I can't speak for anyone

else.

You have so much devotion and are living in circumstances that many

of us, here in the West, cannot imagine...having access to Temples and

priests, pujas and practices. I'm so sure your prayers will be

answered when Maa Kali, Herself, feels that the time is right...as you

said, many things cannot be shared and, really, should simply be

between you and your Beloved. I wish you the best and will pray for

you.

with love to you,

sadhvi

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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