Diary - Chapter 2

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Diary of a Traveling Preacher

 

Volume 3, Chapter 2

 

January 19, 2001

 

After only a few hours of rest, we awoke at 5am to prepare to do a program

in a hall in downtown Barnaul. I had trouble sleeping last night because my

body seemed to be still moving; an uncanny feeling which no doubt came from

spending the previous day on a moving train.

 

However, I had an interesting dream. I dreamt I was walking along the Kali

Gandhaki River in Nepal looking for salagram silas with my god-brother,

Bimala Prasad das. I often dream that I am either on my way to the Kali

Gandhaki or am along its banks. In fact, the dreams are so intense that I

can attribute them only to the fact that I have actually traveled in the

mountains of Nepal several times in this life. Or could it be that I was

there in a previous life? In a purport in the Srimad-Bhagavatam (4.29.64),

Srila Prabhupada confirms this possibility. He writes: "In dreams we

sometimes see things that we have never experienced in the present body.

Sometimes in dreams we think that we are flying in the sky, although we have

no experience of flying. This means that once in a previous life, either as

a demigod or astronaut, we flew in the sky. The impression is there in the

stockpile of the mind, and it suddenly expresses itself. It is like

fermentation taking place in the depths of water, which sometimes manifests

itself in bubbles on the water's surface."

 

Two weeks ago I had an unusually spiritual dream. I dreamt that after a long

time I was returning to New Mayapur, in France. In the dream I was surprised

to see that everything was overgrown and falling apart. But from within the

temple I heard a conch shell blowing and sounds indicating the altar curtain

was about to open. I rushed in and sat for a few moments before the curtain,

eager for darsan of Sri Sri Radha Govinda Madhava. Suddenly, the curtain

opened and everything on the altar was shining beautifully like the sun. It

was very clean and nicely decorated. My eyes searched for Sri Sri Radha

Govinda Madhava, and when I saw Them I started crying. The more I looked at

Them, the more I wept. When I awoke that morning, I found my pillow wet with

tears. I got up from bed and looked in the mirror. My eyes were red from

crying. I said to myself in the mirror, "You rascal! Why can't you cry for

Krsna like that in real life!" But inside I was happy, knowing that

somewhere in my hard, stone-like heart, there might even be a little glimmer

of love for Sri Sri Radha Govinda Madhava.

 

Unfortunately, my dreams are not often so transcendental. Because of the

unusual places I travel and preach, and because of the anxieties I have from

many responsibilities, I often dream of war or trying to escape from unknown

enemies.

 

After taking bath, myself, Sri Prahlad, Rukmini Priya and Visnu Tattva

prabhu left the apartment building to go to the program. When we stepped

outside I was shocked! In the few hours we had slept, a huge storm had

blanketed everything with snow. Visnu Tattva told me that Siberia has had

more snow this winter than any in the past 25 years. We were seeing the cold

face of Siberia at its worst. We struggled to get to our car, and slipping

and sliding through the roads of the city in our vehicle we somehow managed

to get to the hall for the morning program. I couldn't imagine there would

be many devotees there because passage through the city was so difficult,

but as is typical in Russian ISKCON, when we entered the hall there were

more than 200 blissful Vaisnavas eager for Krsna katha and kirtan.

 

As no book was available, I spoke about the importance of devotee

association. I based my class on a verse from Caitanya-caritamrta, Madhya

Lila 22.128:

 

sadhu-sanga, name-kirtana, bhagavata-sravana

mathura-vasa, sri-murtira sraddhaya sevana

 

"One should associate with devotees, chant the holy name of the Lord, hear

Srimad-Bhagavatam, reside at Mathura and worship the Deity with faith and

veneration."

 

Rupa Goswami states in Bhakti-rasamrta-sindhu that these processes are so

potent that just a small attachment for any one of these five items can

arouse devotional ecstasy even in a neophyte.

 

After class we returned to our apartment, worshipped our Deities and took

prasadam. I then conversed with a group of disciples. I must say it was

quite an intense meeting. Because many of these disciples had not seen me in

two or even three years, they were absorbed each second, watching my every

move and listening to every word. I was tired and had a headache coming on,

but I forced myself to ignore these conditions and sat up straight,

attempting to be the proper representative of Srila Prabhupada I should be.

By speaking philosophy and quoting appropriate verses from the

Bhagavad-gita, I inspired the devotees - but as soon as they left I

collapsed in bed for a half-hour rest before the evening program.

 

When we arrived at the hall there were twice as many devotees as were there

in the morning - more than 400. They had come from numerous surrounding

towns and villages. There were also many guests. The atmosphere was

electric, in anticipation of class and kirtan. The mood somehow reminded me

of Poland 12 years ago when I started preaching there. There were many

teenagers in the audience exhibiting a type of innocence, which I attributed

to the fact that Siberia remains to this day somewhat isolated from the

materialism that is rampant in eastern Europe and western Russia. Later in

the evening, all these young people stood and chanted and danced without

abandon. It left me with a sense of nostalgia.

 

More than 50 devotees participated in a wonderful drama about the appearance

of Lord Caitanya. It was so well done that I imagined it took weeks of

preparation. That they had gone to so much trouble and expense for me

touched my heart, and when it came time for me to speak to the devotees and

guests, I gave an impassioned lecture about the purpose of life, which I

think was well appreciated. After the talk, Sri Prahlad led a wonderful

kirtan. To conclude the evening, the devotees brought a huge cake on to the

stage, which I distributed piece by piece to the now 500-strong

congregation.

 

The numbers in the hall had swelled, because after our program the hall was

to turn into a disco. As our program was finishing, many young people

started showing up for the disco, standing on the perimeter of our festival

and watching in amazement. Many were pulled into the kirtan by the devotees

and guests and many came forward for a piece of cake. Overwhelmed by the

ecstatic mood, a number of them showed signs of respect as they approached

me for the prasadam, bowing their heads or folding their hands in namskara

as they saw the devotees do. It was an unusual experience for me, as young

ladies in short dresses and heavy make-up and tough-looking boys in designer

clothing came respectfully forward for the Lord's mercy. All glories to Sri

Krsna sankirtan!