Volume 4, Chapter 4

[Guest guest]

Diary of a Traveling Preacher

 

Volume 4, Chapter 4

 

November 5-24, 2001

 

 

The focus of most of the residents here in Vrindavan is Krsna. Whether they

are priests, sadhus, farmers, shop owners, members of the town council or

simply tourists, in some way or other Krsna is present in everyone's life.

One morning as I was doing Vrindavan-parikrama (a two-hour walk around the

entire village of Vrindavan), I noticed many other pilgrims, from all walks

of life, also walking reverentially on the parikrama path. Most were

Indians, but many were foreigners from a variety of countries. Everyone was

focused on the same goal: getting the mercy of Radha and Krsna. I thought

how, by practicing Krsna consciousness, we can transcend our material

designations and become united, on the spiritual platform, in quest of God.

It seems a simple formula for the present problems of the world: if we

simply realize that we are all brothers and sisters, due to having a common

father (God), then we will cease to see someone as friend and another as

enemy. Here in Vrindavan every living creature is offered that respect,

regardless of how low their birth.

 

Krsna showed this to me clearly when I was returning to my apartment after

parikrama. While passing a telephone pole, suddenly a crow fell screaming on

the ground in front of me. It had landed on a live wire above and had been

electrocuted. Flapping its wings, it was moving around in circles on the

ground. Within a moment, several local people ran forward. To my amazement,

a man picked up the crow and wrapped it in his cadar, while chanting Hare

Krsna to the bird. The dazed crow's eyes slowly closed, and I figured it was

dead. But the man told his son to run and fetch some milk and a capati, and

for more than an hour he and the small group of Vrajavasis carefully

nurtured the crow back to life. Finally the crow opened its eyes, squawked

and flew into the air. There was a loud roar of appreciation from the small

crowd as they called out, "Jai Radhe! Jai Radhe!" and continued on their

way.

 

The compassion shown for such a lowly creature astonished me, and confirmed

my thoughts that morning on parikrama: here in Vrindavan all creatures are

accepted as eternal servants of God. Continuing on my way, I remembered a

classic verse from Bhagavad-gita:

 

vidya-vinaya-sampanne

brahmane gavi hastini

suni caiva sva-pake ca

panditah sama-darsinah

 

"The humble sages, by virtue of true knowledge, see with equal vision a

learned and gentle brahmana, a cow, an elephant, a dog and a dog-eater

[out-caste]."

[bhagavad-gita 5.18]

 

As I settled into my room for my morning program of hearing and chanting, I

reflected how Vrindavan is the perfect place for practicing Krsna

consciousness, if only because there is so much stimuli to remember the

Lord. Even a simple morning walk can reveal so many spiritual truths. I felt

blessed to be here and content with my plan to spend two more months in this

transcendental abode. But I was soon to realize Srila Prabhupada's

statement, "I have my plan, you have your plan - but ultimately Krsna has

His plan for us as well."

 

Having been so enlivened by my early morning parikrama, I invited several

disciples to join me the next day. As we were coming close to one of my

favorite spots in Vrindavan, the samadhi mandir of Srila Prabodhananda

Saraswati near Kaliya-ghat, Nandini dasi's cell phone started ringing. It is

curious that, being situated between New Delhi and the tourist center of

Agra, Vrindavan falls within range of cell phones. It was the first time

Nandini's phone had rung in India, and she seemed quite surprised as she

took it out of her bag and answered it. It was a recorded message on her

answering service, and as she listened her face went white. Not wanting to

upset the peace and tranquillity of the moment, however, she didn't say

anything.

 

Throughout the week, I had been making a special effort to take Nandini and

Radha Sakhi Vrinda dasi around Vrindavan. This was their first trip to

India, and they deserved it. Both ladies worked very hard helping organize

this year's Polish tour, setting up the Festival of India as a legal

foundation and often achieving success in the face of tremendous opposition.

I appreciated their determination to preach Krsna consciousness, and by

inviting them to Vrindavan I was hoping to introduce them to the essence of

our spiritual tradition, thus giving them increased strength and inspiration

to return to the West and preach. This was the mood which I had seen in

Srila Prabhupada when he invited us to India in the early days of the

movement. He had wanted us to get an appreciation for our spiritual heritage

and then return, enlivened, to our duties in the West. Nandini and Radha

Sakhi Vrinda seemed to be enjoying their first week in the holy dhama and

were looking forward to the month ahead in Jaipur, Puri and Sridhama

Mayapur.

 

Concerned about Nandini's reaction to the phone call, I drew her and Radha

Sakhi Vrinda to the side after we had completed parikrama. I said, "Who was

the call from? You seem disturbed."

 

Nandini was silent for a moment, and then said, "Srila Gurudeva, Radha Sakhi

Vrinda and I have to return to Poland tomorrow."

 

Stunned, I said, "Tomorrow! But you just got here. Why in the world do you

have to go back tomorrow?"

 

She replied, "Do you remember the school in Swierzno that we rent as our

base during the summer tour?"

 

"Yes," I said, getting a little nervous.

 

She said, "Our long-time friend, the school director, left a message on my

phone that the local priests are pressuring him to rent the school to them

for the entire summer next year. They want to use it for a recreation base

for school groups from other parts of the country. But in reality, the

director said, their purpose is to deny our festival program a base for the

summer. And you know that school is the only one on the coast still willing

to cooperate with us."

 

Thinking for a moment, I remembered the campaign by a group of senior

Catholic priests last year along the entire Baltic Sea coast, threatening

and discouraging school directors from renting their institutions to our

Festival of India tour during the summer season.

 

Nandini continued: "If we lose that school, we can't imagine where we'll

accommodate 200 devotees for the summer. The message was sent twelve days

ago, and the director said we have until tomorrow to sign the contract,

otherwise he'll have to sign the school over to the Church. No doubt, they

are thinking that by approaching the school director so many months before

the holidays, they'll out-maneuver us."

 

I said, "Can't someone else in Poland sign the contract?"

 

"Legally, only myself and Radha Sakhi Vrinda can sign," Nandini replied.

"And who knows what other tricks the priests may have up their sleeves. We

have to be on the spot."

 

Because so few people are flying these days, Nandini and Radha Sakhi Vrinda

had no difficulty making reservations and were on a plane to Warsaw that

very night. Late in the evening the next day, they called me from the north

of Poland. "Mission accomplished," Nandini said. "We got here just in time

to sign the contract. We have the school for the summer."

 

I thought, "This is the meaning of disciple: one who will put the interest

of the spiritual master and Krsna before their own." I was thankful that

Nandini and Radha Sakhi Vrinda had shown no hesitation to leave India and go

back to Poland to ensure that our preaching would continue next summer. In

the Krsna book, we read how Sandipani Muni was similarly pleased with the

surrender of his two students, Krsna and Sudama, who were demonstrating the

proper behavior of a disciple. After their undergoing hardship for him,

Sandipani Muni said to them:

 

" 'My dear boys, it is very wonderful that you have suffered so much trouble

for me. Everyone likes to take care of his body as the first consideration,

but you are so good and faithful to your guru that without caring for bodily

comforts you have taken so much trouble for me. I am also glad to see that

bona fide students like you will undergo any kind of trouble for the

satisfaction of the spiritual master. That is the way for a bona fide

disciple to become free from his debt to the spiritual master. It is the

duty of the disciple to dedicate his life to the service of the spiritual

master.' "

[Krsna, The Supreme Personality of Godhead, "Meeting of Lord Krsna with

Sudama Brahmana"]

 

What I didn't expect was that like Nandini and Radha Sakhi Vrinda, I, too,

would have to cut short my pilgrimage to beloved Vrindavan for similar

reasons. Towards the end of the telephone call, Nandini said, "And Srila

Gurudeva, we're sending you the financial projection for next year on email.

With costs rising and increased government pressure that our festival meets

strict security and health standards, it is going to be higher than we

predicted."

 

The next morning, I logged on to my email and, after studying the report,

surrendered to "Krsna's plan" that I must leave Vrindavan before the end of

Karttika to preach and raise funds for the Festival of India.

 

As far as I can understand, there is only one reason to leave this

transcendental abode: to preach Krsna consciousness. Although the activities

of bhajan and preaching seem so very different (one is basically an internal

meditation in a solitary place, while the other is the external activity of

loudly chanting the holy names in the crowded towns and villages), they are

nonetheless intricately connected. By focusing on our bhajan, we become

purified and develop a strong desire to preach and share the nectar of Krsna

consciousness with others. And by preaching in difficult circumstances

throughout the year, we hanker for the special atmosphere of Sri

Vrindavan-dhama where we can relish, without disturbance, the association of

devotees and the many sacred places in the dhama.

 

Srila Prabhupada's disappearance day festival was fast approaching, and this

helped me to transform my meditation from bhajan to preaching. Several times

I went to Srila Prabhupada's rooms at the Radha-Damodar temple and meditated

on how Srila Prabhupada spent so much time there, preparing for his eventual

journey to the West to introduce Krsna consciousness to the world. Sitting

alone in his rooms, I reflected that as his spiritual son, I had the

responsibility to help him carry on that mission. No doubt my stay in

Vrindavan had been beneficial for me: I had gained a deeper appreciation for

the holy name, a clearer understanding of the scriptures and, as I thought

about the matter more, a stronger desire to share that mercy with others.

Based on this last consideration, it seemed the appropriate time to go.

 

The evening before Srila Prabhupada's disappearance day, I went back to

Radha-Damodar one last time to write my offering for that auspicious day. In

those sacred rooms, where Srila Prabhupada would look out into the courtyard

of the temple to get inspiration from the samadhi of Srila Rupa Goswami, I

very much felt the presence - and separation - of my spiritual master. In

that mood, I penned my offering and read it to His Divine Grace the next day

in the august assembly of many dear god-brothers and god-sisters at the

Krsna-Balarama temple. In my mind, it was the fitting conclusion to my

pilgrimage to Vrindavan. After finishing my reading, I turned my attention

to my duties in the West.

 

Dearest Srila Prabhupada,

 

Please accept my most humble obeisances. All glories unto you on this

auspicious day of your departure from this world!

 

In August 1976, after visiting our temple in Paris, France, you expressed

your satisfaction with your visit and said you looked forward to coming back

again the next year. We worked hard that coming year in the expectation of

seeing your lotus feet again. In those days, with your annual visits and

regular updates of your travels, we remained always absorbed in thoughts of

you. Despite your busy schedule you also remembered us, often writing and

encouraging us in our devotional service to the Lord. When my sankirtan

party wrote to you asking if we could install and travel with Gaura-Nitai

Deities, you wrote back to us that you felt such worship might interfere

with our most important service of distributing your books, and you

recommended that we worship a picture of Panca Tattva. You said that Panca

Tattva are the proper Deities for Kali-yuga, as They are the most benevolent

and merciful of all the Lord's incarnations. Following your instructions, we

worshipped a simple picture of Their Lordships with all our hearts and

souls, and as we did so our sankirtan results increased - along with our

faith and attachment to you.

 

Although you had thousands of followers, and we were separated from you by

many more thousands of miles, we felt (as did all your disciples) your

immediate concern, care and love for us. Anxious for your return to Paris,

our expectations of seeing you again increased as each day passed.

 

Then in November came the unbelievable and unbearable news: you had

performed your final pastime and left this world to rejoin your beloved Lord

in the spiritual sky. Srila Prabhupada, on that day we were suddenly plunged

into feelings of separation unlike anything we had ever experienced. In the

initial stages of our devotional service, we came to know so many facets of

spiritual life. One left unknown to us, however, was the pain of separation

we have had to endure until this very day.

 

Srila Prabhupada, Krsna sent Uddhava here to Vrindavan to give hope to His

gopis; please send me a sign that I will indeed, by faithful and loving

service, be able join you again in your pastimes so sublime. I know that

vani is more important than vapu, but if I can be assured that one day I'll

be with you again, then I can take any risks required in my preaching,

knowing that even death itself, in the line of duty, will serve my desire to

be with you.

 

In 1971, I was feeling separation from you after your brief visit to our

temple in Detroit. I expressed those feelings in a letter to you. You kindly

wrote back: "Yes, I am also feeling separation from my guru maharaja, but I

always feel that he is watching over and protecting me." Please bless me

with the same ability to see you constantly in my service to the Lord.

 

The responsibilities you have entrusted to all of us, your followers, are

generally reserved only for the most advanced devotees of the Lord. We need

your guidance and protection to be able to faithfully execute those orders,

meant to spread your teachings throughout the entire world.

 

No doubt your guidance and protection come in many ways. Often I see you in

the mercy you bestow upon the devotees around me. As a single ray of light

shining through a piece of crystal causes a myriad of colors, so your mercy,

expanded through the hearts of your followers, brilliantly shines throughout

their service to you. By your decree their service is done, and just as one

sees the personality of an artist in his painting, so one can see you in the

activities of your sincere followers.

 

Just behold your illustrious son, Radhanath Maharaja! His unique ability,

inspired by you, to uplift the hearts of thousands of souls, spellbound by

his lectures and kirtans, can best be appreciated when he comes to Vrindavan

for Karttika. Buses and buses of devotees follow him throughout the dhama,

as he introduces them to your dearest place of worship.

 

And no doubt we see you in the service of Gopal Krsna Maharaja, who reflects

your heart's desire that everything should be done big in Krsna

consciousness. Following in your footsteps, and empowered by your desire to

see the movement ever-expanding, he was the force behind the success of the

Glory of India temple rising from the dust of Delhi to become a place of

pilgrimage.

 

And Lokanath Maharaja! He is truly fulfilling Mahaprabhu's desire to see the

holy names chanted in every town and village. How your chest must swell with

pride when you point him out to your transcendental associates in the

spiritual sky. "Just see my spiritual son," you must say, "the one with the

bullock cart and kirtan. By his service, it's guaranteed he'll come to live

with me eternally."

 

Look now, with eyes filled with love and appreciation, upon your spiritual

daughter, Daivi Sakti, who continues year after year with her service to you

in Sri Vrindavan-dhama. She knows well how dear your Krsna-Balarama temple

is to you, and faithfully carries out her duties to you here, much as she

did when you were present. She would never leave your institution, Srila

Prabhupada, having faith in your words that it is the selfsame body she

personally served in the days of her youth.

 

And just see over here to the left, your stalwart sons, Brahmananda and

Gargamuni, two of the very first to receive your mercy. They know you well

and continue to share you with all of us now, when we need it most,

twenty-four years down the road. The material energy has the innate ability

to deteriorate things with time, but the love and faith that Brahmananda and

Gargamuni have for you is so strong that it resists that very force of

nature, while keeping you ever-fresh within our minds.

 

And do you remember Dhananjaya and Bala Gopal? Of course you do, for

spiritual love transcends all the inequities of time. They have also chosen

to be caretakers of this mandir most dear to you. Imbibing your desire to

have a place for your followers to come and be enlivened in the dhama, they

represent your concern that all of us become Vrajavasis in due course of

time.

 

And see the wandering mendicant, Deena Bandhu prabhu, who, following your

personal example, continues to take devotees on pilgrimage of this holy

land. You are an eternal resident of this scared abode, Srila Prabhupada,

and we are indebted to your beloved son, Deena Bandhu, for enlightening us

about the glories of this most sacred tirtha, so that we may one day aspire

to join you in your eternal pastimes here. Empowered by you, he speaks with

the same affection you have for Sri Vrindavan-dhama.

 

And no doubt you can see Kesava Bharati prabhu, who has faithfully executed

one of your last desires: to take darsan of Govardhan Hill. By developing

and overseeing his project at the foot of Giri-Govardhan, you now sit

peacefully in the temple room there, beckoning your followers to come and

gradually develop a deeper understanding of the Lord.

 

As sons and daughters inherit the qualities of their parents, so these, and

many, many more disciples and grand-disciples, demonstrate that you are

surely with us, "watching over and protecting us" in our devotional service

to the Lord. My humble prayer on this auspicious day is that you continue to

give me your association and guidance through the mercy you bestow upon

these loving and loyal followers, until that day comes when we can again

join you in your "ISKCON in the spiritual sky."

 

Until then I remain,

 

Your servant,

Indradyumna Swami.