The real question is why Mother is considered offensive.

[Guest guest]

Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada who

created a house where we can all live peacefully together.

I agree with Gauridas prabhu. It seems to me that the respectful and humble

position is to ask a vaishnavi what title she prefers.

There is definately a history with the use of the word Mother. It came into

use in North America in the mid 70's. Until then everyone was prabhu. In the

mid 70's there was a real shift in the relationship between men and women in

ISKCON. The family feeling was replaced with an aggressive and hurtful

campaign to denigrate and humiliate women and householders.The Radha

Damodhara party and it's leaders were the main instigators. In my temple at

one point, women were given 48 hours to leave the temple. We rented an

apartment down the street where we held our own classes and cooked our own

prasadam. Of course, we were expected to go daily on "the pick" to support

the temple and to pay our rent and expenses. We did Deity worship behind

closed doors and cooked the offerings without being seen ( as much as

possible ). We felt guilty and offensive in our bodies. We felt like a

burden to Srila Prabhupada but at the same time we were "hooked" on being

devotees. It was a very uncomfortable position. The titles women were given

in those days were so offensive I won't write them here... referring mainly

to bodily parts.. The term Mother was definately derogatory. I would

sometimes have to go to the temple authorities to advocate for the women. I

remember the feeling as the men would look down at the floor and loudly say

Yes MOTHER! Marriages broke up as men tried to "save their devotional

lives", devotees left ISKCON, children were neglected and abandonned by

their fathers. The situation was very bad for everyone... including the men,

many of whom lost sight of the devotional qualities of humility and

compassion.

Not many present-day devotees lived through these times, but the sad thing

is that that initial family feeling never returned to ISKCON. The

discrimination against women and householders has remained although it is

certainly far more subtle.

So please do not jump to the conclusion that women who do not like to be

addressed as Mother are feminists or just plain puffed up. There are many

reasons why this title strikes saddness in the hearts of many men, women and

2nd generation devotees.

Your servant, Praharana dd