Inquiries Into the Absolute: Digest 127, Dealing with unexpected

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Digest 127, July 10th, 2005. Answers by His Holiness Romapada Swami Maharaja

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Dealing with unexpected reversals in life

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Question:

Prabhupada told us to "Chant Hare Krishna and Be Happy". I have been chanting

the maha mantra since two years and I am following the rules and regulations

but I am still very unhappy. I guess that there is a problem somewhere with me.

My life is a mess. Krishna gives me too many tests which I can't handle. I have

been struggling with my spiritual life and I am tired now. I am helpless.

 

I was engaged with a devotee for 1 year and we were planning to get married

after our studies. Recently, his Guru Maharaj told him that, being so young (he

is 21 and I am 18), he should remain brahmacari for the time being. So he has

left me. I know that his Guru is pure and is directly guided by Krishna and his

decision is most appropriate but being such a fallen human being, I am

suffering a lot because being engaged for me was very important as it

stabilized my mind. I am trying my best but I am unable to forget him and to

get over it. Please tell me what I should do to become stronger and to stop

suffering from it.

 

*End of Question*

 

Answer:

Part of your struggle is clearly connected to the situation re. your

engagement. The feelings you have described are natural; although you have

correctly accepted the course of events as being inspired by Krishna for some

reason and are not begrudging or holding anyone at fault, it is nevertheless

difficult for you to remain unaffected by the turn of events, and this is but

natural.

 

When faced with such unexpected reversals in life, Krishna advises us to learn

to tolerate. (See Bg 2.14 http://vedabase.net/bg/2/14/en) It is not easy, but

this tolerance is a very important quality a devotee needs to cultivate in

order to successfully chant the Holy names. (Siksastaka 3

http://vedabase.net/cc/antya/20/21/en)

 

The ability to tolerate comes from the internal faith in Krishna's shelter,

even if we don't yet have a strong realization of it. A devotee can always

remain happy because of this shelter they feel. Knowing Krishna to be the

Supreme Controller and my dearest well-wishing friend, the devotee is confident

that Krishna will surely protect me and is orchestrating my life for the best.

This trust that if I faithfully follow Krishna's instructions, He will surely

protect me (avashya rakibe Krishna) is an important limb of the process of

surrender. In addition, a devotee always feels deeply grateful for the numerous

blessings Krishna has already provided in their life and is thus not too

disturbed by apparent reversals or by what is seemingly lacking.

 

There is a beautiful verse in the Bhagavatam, Prayers offered by Lord Brahma

(SB 10.14.8 http://vedabase.net/sb/10/14/8/en) which states that when a devotee

faces a condition of so-called distress or reversal, rather than seeing it as a

stringent punishment or unsurpassable test, he considers it a gift or

benediction from the Lord. A devotee thinks: "Thanks to my past misdeeds I

should suffer far, far greater than I am suffering now. So it is by the mercy

of the Supreme Lord that I am not getting all the punishment I am due. I am

just getting a little token, which is also for my purification." Therefore he

is always calm, quiet and patient, despite many distressful conditions, and

continues to serve the Lord with greater enthusiasm. Such a person is eligible

to go back to godhead.

 

Krishna is not promising His devotee an idyllic life in the material world.

Rather He warns us that this is a place of temporality and suffering, where

there is danger at every step. And yet a devotee is always happy and satisfied

because of the above-mentioned qualities viz, tolerance, gratefulness and faith

in Krishna's shelter. These are not artificial adjustments of the mind but

factually feelings of a pure devotee and by progressively cultivating these

qualities, we can also be happy even amidst struggles.

 

Of course it is easier said than done, especially when the mind is disturbed

and agitated. But it is possible to turn this into a wonderful opportunity for

you to take deeper shelter and become further attached to Krishna. It becomes

especially easy if you can have the association of devotees who carry such deep

faith. Try to seek such association and hear and chant in their company. You

could also associate with Srila Prabhupada through reading his biography and

derive great strength from seeing how he persevered through all kinds of trials

and reversals. Another powerful process is to cultivate the habit of offering

heartfelt prayers to the Lord for His mercy and help.

 

So have faith and persevere. Please do not feel defeated, helpless or

frustrated. Krishna consciousness is full of hope. In the ultimate picture of

our eternal relationship with Krishna, even the most trivial of our services

and attempts to connect to Him will be remembered and rewarded by Him

abundantly, so your efforts in Krishna consciousness are not in vain. The

present circumstance itself may be such reciprocation from Krishna to

facilitate your advancement, and by continuing patiently with your devotional

service, one day you may look back and appreciate how it was so.

 

One concluding thought: Consider what your reaction would be if you were to

receive notice that you would die in 7 days, as was the case with Pariksit

Maharaja. How would you respond?

 

Here is what Srila Prabhupada writes in SB 1.18.3

(http://vedabase.net/sb/1/18/3/en) on the topic of meeting drastic reversals in

life:

"Knowing the transcendental position of the Lord and the transcendental method

by which one can approach that transcendental dhama, the King was confident

about his ultimate destination, and by knowing this he could leave aside

everything material, even his own body, without any difficulty of attachment.

In the Bhagavad-gita, it is stated, param drstva nivartate: [bg. 2.59

http://vedabase.net/bg/2/59/en] one can give up all connection with material

attachment when one is able to see the param, or the superior quality of

things.... Unless one thoroughly understands this superior or eternal energy of

the Lord, it is not possible to leave the material energy, however one may

theoretically speculate on the true nature of the Absolute Truth."

 

This digest on the web:

http://iskcondc.org/cgi-bin/renderphilo.pl?digestname=digest127

 

All previous digests in one file (with responses to about 400 questions):

http://iskcondc.org/cgi-bin/renderphilo.pl?digestname=digest00

 

Responses to Some Frequently Asked Questions (Karma, free-will, demigods, Lord

Siva, why are we here, how to control the mind, Deity worship, marriage, Jesus

Christ, spiritual and material relationships and morality of Lord Krsna's

conjugal pastimes, spiritual master, spirit soul/jiva/living entity):

http://www.iskcondc.org/cgi-bin/renderphilo.pl?digestname=digest999_faq

 

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