Transcending Lonliness?

[Guest guest]

Hello Everyone,

 

Well, this will be a weird post. Oh well. I'm good at those!

 

I'm good at alot of things, programming, Jyotish, music, and know alot

about Hinduism, Krishna Bhakti style. Woman tell me I'm good looking. I

do pretty well too.

 

But I'm always alone. One of the perils of living and working at

home...you don't meet anybody.

 

I always thought that if I did this good work, and pleased alot of

people with good works, that I'd at least be married. I thought somebody

would want me. But it hasn't happened. I've been divorced for over 5

years, and have only had somebody who's married, saving me aside for

their rainy day or some future point. It's been very lonely. I had one

other opportunity, but the attraction wasn't there. Sad.

 

So I'm reading Narayan Maharaja's Bhagavad Gita, and chanting

constantly, just to hang on. For some reason, in my karma, the fear of

being alone is really great. I get panic attacks, I guess you could call

them, shaking in fear, waking up realy early, freaked out because it

feels like life is over, at 40, due to being cursed to always be alone.

 

I could work and work, and that's what I've done. People ask me "how did

you write all this" referring to the software and such, and well guess

what, I used to be able to channel the time into work, because I had

hope. But it fades. The years have rolled by and nothing changes.

 

How do those of you who are single like me handle this? It's in my karma

to not be able to do so. I know and believe in God, Krishna, very much

so, and I know I'm in Him as are all things, and that time will pass,

and something will change, if nothing else, I'll die, and hopefully be

somewhere where there's more persons like myself or something more than

just constant lonliness and work for a Lord I can never see.

 

I know the truth about Divinity quite a bit, but the desire to be with

just one person for some time longer remains strong. I don't want to be

in my death-home stretch already and that's what it feels like. I have

so much still to share. I have music and video equipment, and teh

knowledge, what to speak of GJ3, which is nearly done and sitting

waiting for me to get my emotions together, and the months roll by. GJ3

is so awesome already. Really. It's so cool, but I'm stopped by the pain

of lonliness, just chanting, just reading, pacing, wondering how to get

out of this aloneness.

 

Family, not helpful, Hare Krishna movement, largely over, and produces

seemingly only ladies who are better off not being wives, regular

people, eat meat with abandon, threatening my finer senses when I'm

around them. Does being into God mean you have to be alone?

 

I can't believe there's nobody for me, but the years pass, I don't meet

anyone. It's so bizarre. Such a populated country, and I'm known to

thousands, and can't find anybody.

 

I shouldn't complain, as I have a life better than many of my brothers

and sisters. But I am. Oh well. I'm humble though. I guess I can hear

some of you saying "just pray" etc. You know, I will, I promise, I am.

But it's there in my chart somehow, or my karma that is, that I have the

desire very strongly, to be loved, and to not be alone.

 

Moon with Ketu in the 11th- thinks about friends and "incoming" stuff,

and Ketu, doesn't have it, maybe? That's what I think, and that's what

it feels like. Mars in 12, Venus in 1, strong desire, no happiness. Very

hard. These days, I just am thankful for the Gita and the Holy Name.

These two things are keeping me from going bonkers, which sometimes I am

anyways.

 

Those of you who are older and alone, how do you handle it? What do you

think when you see the "young and beautiful of the world", so optimistic

and full of life? What wisdom have you acquired to handle the process

of aloneness, and aging? I feel like I'm entering the circle of the

dieing, the old, the alone, the "over". It's very hard. It's just

because it's been so many years of being alone and hoping, wishing, I

wasn't, and working, thinking it would call someone to me, but it

hasn't. This last year has been the hardest time of my life.

 

Does anyone else hate the magazines and TV because they lie about life

so blatantly? Do magazine covers in stores bother anyone else to the

core? Isn't it totally bogus to make it look like ANYONE looks like

that, or feels the way they seem to smiling in their glamor shots, all

completely sexy people usually in their 20's?

 

Excuse me for speaking like this here please, as it's out of line. But I

have no other venue.

 

Perhaps I served Krishna well, and He's purposefully making me utterly

dependent on Him alone for my all. That's what's happening, but it's not

what I want. Yes, I want that, but I also wanted to not be alone yet. So

alone when you work at home and are successful, and don't like common

society. So isolating to be into God, and working at home successfully.

Days, weeks, months pass, and I see nobody. If I meet people, they're

never into God really, and not close to being into Ahimsa, or Divine

Awareness. Being a transcendentalist in America, successfully working at

home, is a prison sentence of aloneness. It's good for becoming utterly

dependent on God alone it seems, and that's about it, and I guess that's

about all there is here.

 

Thank you for listening,

 

Raghu

(Das Goravani)

[Guest guest]

Dear Das

 

I just looked at your chart and Saturn is in exact transit over your natal

Sun the 5th lord of love affairs and karaka of heart. It is also darkening

Mercury your 3rd lord of mental outlook and 6th house of work and service.

Transit Saturn is also in 10th house aspect to natal Moon the 4th lord of

emotional happiness making you feel lonely, depressed, suffering from self

alienation and feeling sorry for yourself. The strong, almost full Moon in

the lagna conjunct natal Venus and receiving the aspect of transit Mars is

boosting up your desire for a woman and causing severe emotional stress.

 

You were born with Venus in the lagna and Mars the planet of passion in the

12th house showing you are a very passionate man, even if it is somewhat

hidden. I hope you do not try to supress your sexual nature as this could

put you in a mental hospital. I know you are a very spiritual man but

sometimes you must eat with the lower tongue as they say in Ayurveda. You

are in the vortex of a crushing transit and it is good you can put your

private suffering in public. Grasp on to the fact you will emerge stronger,

wiser and a better human when this transit finishes.

 

I have been down there too and it seems that there is only the darkness and

decay of Saturn and there is no light at the end of the tunnel. We are all

with you as we have all been there.

 

Skinbags

 

P.S When it comes to women and sex there is nothin' like a bit of hired help

I say. When you need a job done call in an expert. Beats going

crazy...........

[Guest guest]

Dear Das,

There are perhaps only a very few things that I know are

Absolute Truths. I would humbly like to share them with you if

I may.

Simply stated it's this...The Lord our God is One. Yet he

has a wife, does he not, in our Beloved Radharani who is our

Divine Mother. When I was a child, if my father seemed too busy

to give me what I wanted I ran to my mother with big tears in my

eyes, full of sincerity and longing for my desired object. She

could not resist. The same lila continues today with my (our)

Divine Mother. Consider that when Krishna sees how lovingly

engaged you are with Srimati Radharani he can not help but Love

you with even more intensity?

 

There is a perfect consort for you because there is a

perfect consort for Krishna; and we are all one. Never alone.

How can we know joy with out also knowing sorrow. The good news

is that sorrow will pass and Krishna's joy is forever. And His

Joy is our joy too.

I count you as my God Brother, and my humble prayer is for

your victory over all that stands in the way of your perfect

happiness and the bliss of Krsna's special love for you.

 

Fight the good fight my brother, and may the Peace of our

Father be with you.

 

your servant, David

[Guest guest]

Namaste Raghu ~

 

You wrote:

 

> It's been very lonely.

>So I'm reading Narayan Maharaja's Bhagavad Gita, and chanting

>constantly, just to hang on. For some reason, in my karma, the fear of

>being alone is really great. I get panic attacks, I guess you could call

>them, shaking in fear, waking up realy early, freaked out because it

>feels like life is over, at 40, due to being cursed to always be alone.

 

The good thing about the fear and lonliness is, like a Chariot, it keeps

driving us back to the most sound and potent prescription available ... our

spiritual japa.

 

As we chant, we are facilitating the reorganization that is trying to

happen on a deeper level of our Being. Through our devotion, we simply

accept the transits when lower levels of functioning are occuring and

surrender to the reorganization that is moving us into our greater strength

and vitality.

 

Think of the challenge facing Arujuna. His question was: "What is the

right thing to do?" He wondered what line of behaviour would manifest

truth and harmony to the highest degree under circumstances of such

enormous compression and challenge. Krishna's response was: "Do what you

are trained to do. Do your work. As I am the giver and the taker of

everything, the beginning and the end, then in your own work there is no

real gain or loss. There is only me."

 

Each of us has a number of personalities that emerge under different

circumstances. Most of us consist of multiple contradictions ... what we

think we are vs. what we really are ... what we say we want vs. what we

really want and then what we are actually doing about it all.

 

Our sadhana integrates all of our sub-personalities and enables them to

more deeply communicate with the Divine aspect of ourself and this is our

only hope.

 

Chanting japa is the cure I know, no matter what the problem, because it

brings us down into our simplest and most basic condition and serves to

reduce the degree to which we can deceive ourselves. As we require less

and less energy to sustain our multiple, conditioned selves, the

inefficiencies in our creative energy are reduced and we become clearer

about who we are and what we are capable of doing. Meantime, we wait in

the mood of surrender until our circumstances change and the new patterns

begin to emerge. Better to keep steady in the face of every kind of

torment. Prayer does not change God, but it does change the person we who

pray.

 

My friend is fond of saying that we are another tortured soul on our way

home to enlightenment. So, dear brother Das, keep your eyes on the stars

and your feet on the ground and take heart in this old English proverb ...

"Change of fortune is the lot of life."

 

<Sigh>

 

In God and Guruji ~

Chandra Devi

~

[Guest guest]

AND .... this helps to: A list of ten valuable lessons that my friend,

Rinatta, learned from her cat about how to give and get love.

 

1. Always be ready to play. Know how to recognize the playful look in the

person you love, and immediately start playing.

 

2. When you are happy to see someone, stretch your arms up to them and ask

to be picked up.

 

3. If the person you love forgets to feed you dinner, don't take it

personally. Just run and sit by your plate and look hungry every time they

walk by.

 

4. Talk to the one you love, incessantly and constantly. It makes them feel

loved, appreciated and important.

 

5. Don't be afraid to ask to be touched. Just falling down and looking cute

works well. Otherwise, try rubbing up against the person you

love, as this will usually do the trick.

 

6. If you keep asking for attention and don't get any, try disappearing

suddenly. Then, don't come back for a little while, even if you are

called. Your loved one will think twice before ignoring you next time.

 

7. Show your love and adoration by bringing presents. Make sure to stand by

your present and get fully appreciated.

 

8. Purr when the person you love is anywhere near you. It will encourage

them to get closer to you and touch you, while at the same time

making them feel appreciated.

 

9. Encourage the person you love to take naps with you. When you take

naps, make sure to cuddle up under the blanket with them and get as close

as you can.

 

10. Always comfort the person you love, regardless of whether they

need emotional or physical comfort. Cuddling, purring and being sat on

are sure cures for almost anything.

 

<Smile>

 

Chandra ~

~

[Guest guest]

Woman tell me I'm good looking. I

> do pretty well too.

>

> But I'm always alone.

[Guest guest]

Dear Raghu das,

 

Haven't been on this list in a long while, but I've been hanging in the

wings just reading things posted. I just have to say a few words in

support of my soul-brother Das and his loneliness dilemma. There's a bit

of "tough love" in the following words, but anyway, here goes:

 

I know full well the dilemmas of living alone and doing a professional

service from within the confines of four walls. I am lucky to have a

supportive mate to keep me company at this point in time, but it was not

always like that. I have lived this way, doing Jyotish readings at home,

for over 11 years, and only in the last two have I had company. The

intensities of loneliness, of course, are going to impact people

differently depending on the positions of the Moon, Venus, and the

ascendant ruler in charts. Putting the astrology aside for a moment, let

me tell you what I did to overcome abject isolation and loneliness:

 

First, get out of the damn house. Go out and meet people. Who are you

going to make friends with, if all you see every day is your own face in

the mirror?

 

Second, ease up on the restrictions as to who or who isn't, suitable

company. If they are faithful, and believe in God, that should be

enough. No, no, it doesn't matter of they eat meat, or drink alcohol on

the occasion. If they are regular in these habits, it is likely that you

will never meet them anyway. There are many, many really good, intelligent

and spiritually minded people who are part-vegetarian, and part meat-eater

(Omnivore, I believe is the correct terminology), who would surprise you

with the level of comprehension of higher philosophy and God consciousness

they have. Full time astrologers meet them everyday, day in and day out in

the course of doing their work. Even if they are not up on their

philosophy, many such people may reach you on a heart level, and when you

reciprocate, you will naturally be able to convert them to strict

compassion for animals and more sattvic habits -- things that matter to you.

 

Third, and most important: you have to let go. Let go of the hope, ideals,

desires, dreams, for anything lovely or romantic. Sri Krsna in the Gita

calls this world "duhkhalayam ashasvatam" , or the abode of pain and

temporality (Bg 8.15). Sure, it is easy for me to say, with my Venus in

the 12th, neecha, and combust, and in fact, I practised celibacy for 15

years without a glitch. So I understand that with Venus rising, you are

going to be more passionate and sensual, and relationship-oriented than

those with Venus less prominent. Still, whatever we get, or don't get, is

simply a matter of Divine Will. Krsna, or Divine Will, can circumvent your

karma if He wants to, but you should not expect Him to interfere with the

parameters of life your own actions have created for you. So live

with. Embrace it. See the wisdom in it. This is where the true test of

the spiritual aspirant comes in. In your darkest hour of solitude, Krsna

hears your every breath and heartbeat. If you are reading the Gita, this

is the message you will get. And why be detached and resign yourself to

the Will of God? Because darkness is all around, and we have no other way

out of the maze of material entanglement. See the lessening of attachment,

or the decline of sensual fulfillment, as Krsna's gently lifting you out of

the repetitions of birth and death (Samsara).

 

Still, you may be awarded a beautiful mate and life partner to keep you

company for your remaining years. I got mine, but only after I fully

resigned myself to Divine Will. "Krsna, do whatever you want with me",

should be the prayer. And if it is right, and ordained, you will get what

you want. And if you don't get what you want, that will be OK too, because

you will have learned how to rise above the plane of desire.

 

And now for some astrology: Ketu resounds as a strong theme in your chart,

with Moon/Ketu coming under the aspect of Saturn. This clearly opens that

path of Moksha for you in this lifetime, if you want to take it. Note that

Jupiter, as 7th lord in Navamsa, is key in fulfillment of relationship

matters, especially now that you are in the Saturn Vimsottari dasa who

joins Jupiter natally. Putting it succinctly, Navamsa Jupiter w/ Ketu,

and with the current transit of Ketu moving through their sign placement

(Sagittarius), your experience of distance or isolation has to play itself

out now, at least up until the time when Ketu leaves Sagittarius.

 

Note too, that Saturn, lord of the Moon sign, is in the exact degree

conjunction of transiting Ketu right now (24 d.), which maximizes the

effects of what would ordinarily be taken as a Sannyas-yoga, or yoga for

renunciation. Saturn too, is in Venus' naksatra (Purvashadha) natally,

Venus is in the exact trinal naksatra from there at 24 d. Aries (Bharani),

which indicates that the exact Navamsa connections between Venus and Saturn

are getting activated powerfully right now, through the exact aspect of

transiting Ketu on natal Saturn, onto Venus. You have to endure this right

now-- there is no other way, until Ketu moves on.

 

Bhukti lord Rahu -- whose effects will last from 2/10/00 to 12/17/02 --

dominates the 7th house of the Navamsa chart, thus putting romantic

fulfillment in a holding pattern until the sub-period of Jupiter comes

in. Navamsa 7th lord Jupiter's sub-period, on the Navamsa ascendant, is

guaranteed to bring a relationship, possibly a marriage between 12/17/02

and 6/30/2005. Meeting this person could come in as early as Jupiter's

transit in Gemini (mid-2001), yet is likely to bring relationship matters

into complete fruition by the time he reaches Leo in 2003. The current

transit of Jupiter in 4th from Chandra is powerless to do anything to help

your emotional reality, except take you inward in prayer and contemplation

of the Gita.

 

There is a powerful, but less known dasa, called Moola dasa, which spells

out destined periods of karma very accurately. According to that dasa, you

are in the Maha-dasha of Venus now, which (according to that system), runs

from 5/18/1997 to 5/18 2011. So you are going to get all the themes

related to Venus during this period. Note Venus' combination with Saturn

in the Navamsa chart, and note that now, the sub-period of Saturn is in

operation from 6/18/2000 to 1/18/2002. After that, the sub-period of

Mars, then Mercury come in, both of whom get the full aspect of 7th lord

Jupiter in Navamsa. So your misery will be over at that time, although you

do have to wait a bit, i.e. until 1/18/2002 for things to take a dramatic

change for the better.

 

Anyway, I hope the above has been helpful, Raghu Das. Sorry for the tough

language -- its just my way of expressing my views, as I've been there too

most of my life, and had to be my own counsellor in a similar way.

 

With true regards,

All the best,

Robert

 

=====================================

Robert A. Koch, Vedic Astrologer

760 NW Broken Arrow Rd.

Bend, OR. 97701-9037

Phone: 541-318-0248

visit <http://www.robertkoch.com> or e-mail

rk. rk