Stepfathers House

[Guest guest]

Dear Mani,

Australian Aborigines have a very complex kinship system. I was

totally confused when I first started working with them.

For a start, they incorporate you into their familial hierachy, before

'real' communication takes place.(so that they know where you stand!).

Unfortunately, once the incorporation takes place, there are a series of

avoidance relationships which must be adhered to.ie Mother-in-law must

'avoid' son-in-law physically, or at least eyes downcast, back turned and no

interaction. You can imagine the problems when trying to dispense health

care and medications to isolated rural communities!!!.

Maternal aunts are called mother. Paternal aunts are aunty. Maternal

uncles are uncle. Paternal uncles are called father. All very well, but in a

western beaurocratic system, when mother or father are required to sign

consent forms for minors, it can be a legal headache!. "Will the 'real'

mother please stand up" is totally alien to them.

Anybody and everybody seem to be cousins!!!.

As a mark of respect, the youngsters call older westerners, aunt or

uncle. If trusted, sometimes mother. A younger person will never look an

elder in the eye, or speak until spoken to. Westerners wrongly perceive this

as 'shifty'.

Condolences for the death of a relative is considered rude in the

extreme and dangerous.( The spirit of the departed may 'come back' if they

hear you talking about them. NEVER mention their name). Most faux pas are

initially forgiven, as they realise 'we' are hopelessly undeveloped

spiritually. Punishment of 'indiscretions' are quick and brutal within the

community. Eye for an eye, spear in the leg, that sort of thing!.

Best Wishes,

Ann.

[Guest guest]

Ann Murphy wrote:

>

> Dear Mani,

> Australian Aborigines have a very complex kinship system. I was

> totally confused when I first started working with them.

 

>"Will the 'real'

> mother please stand up" is totally alien to them.

> Anybody and everybody seem to be cousins!!!.

 

This sort of sitzuation is or was apparently all over the Pacific. Marriage was

there but sex was free, with some restrictions, so that the real father was not

usually known. This had one positive result: there were no abandoned or

neglected children, all the elders looked after all the kids with affection and

care. Death or divorce did not leave a vacuum and the children were spared

traumatic experiences.

 

> As a mark of respect, the youngsters call older westerners, aunt or

>uncle. If trusted, sometimes mother.

 

To an extent this applies/ applied to India too. People call all older

acquaintances uncles or aunts, treating them as brothers of mother or sisters of

father. (The sisters of mother and brothers of fathers are referred to as big-

or little mother, big or little father depending on older or younger than the

parent.) This was quite common in Germany too.

 

 

>A younger person will never look an

>elder in the eye, or speak until spoken to. Westerners wrongly perceive this

>as 'shifty'.

 

Also applies to India, but not very strict today.

 

regards

Mani