Guest guest Posted July 26, 2001 Report Share Posted July 26, 2001 In a message dated 7/26/01 12:14:05 PM Pacific Daylight Time, writes: << Again I apologize for being such a troubled case. I'm doing much much better. Thank you. with great love, -- Das Goravani >> No need to ever apologize for needing the support of others. No man is an island. Many blessings to you Das. You stand as an example of sensitivity to many:o) {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Das}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 26, 2001 Report Share Posted July 26, 2001 I need to write a long letter. I owe that to the many who helped me yesterday on a very dark day when I cried out for help. I want to write down some of the things I learned yesterday, all day, up until 2 AM, as I talked to so many of you, and to my family and friends. Yes, I realize, I definitely have friends, and family. I received alot of support. I am changed and improved by it. I am very humbled by the array of knowledge, life experience, love and support laid out before me because of my outcry. Thos of you who have not written or called, do not feel compelled to do so. Of course, I would love to go on hearing good advice from everyone. I'm selfishly hogging tons of good advice here. So I will try to write out a long explanation of what I've learned from the many persons who reached out to help me. I apologize for any errors resting within this yesterday action of mine of screaming out. Immediately I realize that my sufferings cannot compare in size to those endured by some others. This alone is very humbling. Perhaps I was made with a small circuit of stubborness and selfishness just so that I would write this plea and some of my other stuff, simply to increase this conversation, about living, healing, finding truth, surviving pain, and finding Divinity ultimately. I must say I'm happy to see the list used for this. It wasn't planned that way, but this side effect is ultimately quite good for all of us, and this makes my act of crying out have some redeeming qualities. Naturally, the embarrassment of doing such a cry is there for me to bear, so it's good to see something good of it, because part of me doesn't want to, as most understand I'm sure, express my private problems so publicly. But I did it. It seemed necessary at the time, the fear was so intense. I am much better today because of all of this. Good counsel, often hard to hear, poured in. Yes, I have to face inner work and changes. It's up to me. I'm actually excited by what I learned. I do want to write all about it asap and post that for all to see what glories you all collectively hold in your heads and hearts. I'm thoroughly impressed by my brothers and sisters. I thank you for your help, I will try to return it. I will explain my feelings about progressing in life emotionally/spiritually, dealing with relationships etc., all in the longer letter. I am currently filled with what you all told me yesterday, or many of you that is. I thank you for saving my head, for being there to guide me and advise me. As Arjuna said after the Gita was spoken, though perhaps I'm not fully well yet, but I feel much better, enthused again, connected again, etc.,: "My misgivings are vanquished by your words, I am now ready to do my duty". I really cannot tell you strongly enough with these typed words, the profound feelings of gratitude I have for those of you who helped me. Again I apologize for being such a troubled case. I'm doing much much better. Thank you. with great love, -- Das Goravani 2852 Willamette St # 353 Eugene OR USA 97405 or Fax: 541-343-0344 "Goravani Jyotish" Vedic/Hindu Astrology Software Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 26, 2001 Report Share Posted July 26, 2001 Das Ji, I wanted to write to u earlier but now this is what I wanted to write. If I were the other sex-without hesitation speaking-would have by all means tried to become yr spouse. Om ShantiOm. Thank God, all is well now with you. Take care. We are all yr well wishers and we know our well wishes will not go unheard. Namaste ! Rajul Kaushik - "Das Goravani" <> <dkstotler; <serenadev; <barbara.hackett; <evachava; <mreicher; <kgoravani; <kilimba; <rk; <dharma; <reginall; <subhakari; <srath; <dev108; <adrianna; <gracem; <raoul; <macaroni; <gjlist> Thursday, July 26, 2001 9:16 PM [gjlist] Much Better, Because of Friends > > I need to write a long letter. I owe that to the many who helped me > yesterday on a very dark day when I cried out for help. > > I want to write down some of the things I learned yesterday, all day, up > until 2 AM, as I talked to so many of you, and to my family and friends. > > Yes, I realize, I definitely have friends, and family. > > I received alot of support. I am changed and improved by it. I am very > humbled by the array of knowledge, life experience, love and support > laid out before me because of my outcry. > > Thos of you who have not written or called, do not feel compelled to do > so. Of course, I would love to go on hearing good advice from everyone. > I'm selfishly hogging tons of good advice here. So I will try to write > out a long explanation of what I've learned from the many persons who > reached out to help me. > > I apologize for any errors resting within this yesterday action of mine > of screaming out. Immediately I realize that my sufferings cannot > compare in size to those endured by some others. This alone is very humbling. > > Perhaps I was made with a small circuit of stubborness and selfishness > just so that I would write this plea and some of my other stuff, simply > to increase this conversation, about living, healing, finding truth, > surviving pain, and finding Divinity ultimately. > > I must say I'm happy to see the list used for this. It wasn't planned > that way, but this side effect is ultimately quite good for all of us, > and this makes my act of crying out have some redeeming qualities. > Naturally, the embarrassment of doing such a cry is there for me to > bear, so it's good to see something good of it, because part of me > doesn't want to, as most understand I'm sure, express my private > problems so publicly. But I did it. It seemed necessary at the time, the > fear was so intense. > > I am much better today because of all of this. Good counsel, often hard > to hear, poured in. Yes, I have to face inner work and changes. It's up > to me. I'm actually excited by what I learned. I do want to write all > about it asap and post that for all to see what glories you all > collectively hold in your heads and hearts. I'm thoroughly impressed by > my brothers and sisters. > > I thank you for your help, I will try to return it. I will explain my > feelings about progressing in life emotionally/spiritually, dealing with > relationships etc., all in the longer letter. I am currently filled with > what you all told me yesterday, or many of you that is. I thank you for > saving my head, for being there to guide me and advise me. > > As Arjuna said after the Gita was spoken, though perhaps I'm not fully > well yet, but I feel much better, enthused again, connected again, etc.,: > > "My misgivings are vanquished by your words, I am now ready to do my duty". > > I really cannot tell you strongly enough with these typed words, the > profound feelings of gratitude I have for those of you who helped me. > > Again I apologize for being such a troubled case. > > I'm doing much much better. Thank you. > > with great love, > > > -- > > > Das Goravani > > > > > > > 2852 Willamette St # 353 > Eugene OR USA 97405 > > or > Fax: 541-343-0344 > > "Goravani Jyotish" > Vedic/Hindu Astrology Software > > > gjlist- > > > > Your use of is subject to > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 26, 2001 Report Share Posted July 26, 2001 gjlist, Das Goravani <das@g...> wrote: > > I need to write a long letter. I owe that to the many who helped me > yesterday on a very dark day when I cried out for help. > Om Amrtesvaryai Namah!! Namaste dear brother Raghu!! when i read your cry yesterday, i was struck speechless, and felt that since your request involved wanting "hands-on" personal, living in your house contact to help you, even though i would love to be able to offer such service...it felt more like a cry from the tormented heart of one still caught in that lost relationship, and wanting to find an end to it thru a new relationship... i had nothing to offer in that department, but fully empathising with you, as i've been going thru very similar feelings of longing for Devi to have some compassion upon me and manifest in the form of a Beloved Consort, and too, feeling almost as helpless about that as you, i was unable to offer much advice...comfort of being in the same boat with you, (although not quite as desperate feeling (sometimes!))...that i could offer, but it seemed not appropriate, considering the state you were in.... and as i read the loving email responses on the list, i was overcome with tears of love many times...feeling too, just how much loving support there is for you, my brother, on this list....we may be far away from each other physically, but i do feel that there is a certain loving community on this list...which is very supportive and healing to its members... in a way, dear brother, we are in your debt at least as much as you are in debt to your helpers and well-wishers...because you are the "trigger" or "focus" for all that Love and well-wishing to flow...and too, you have kindly provided the channel thru which it CAN flow...your own list...which i am glad to see, just as you are, can be effectively used as a support system for the loving members when they are in crisis... So in a way, we are honoured by your bravery (or desperation if you will!) which allows you to post your inner workings and torments on this list...i at least am very honoured by the intimate confidence placed in us by you, dear brother....and i am emboldened somewhat by it, as well, as you have seen earlier, in our posts a while ago.when one is willing to let on as to what is going on within, it gives others permission to look within themselves too...and we then realise that we are NOT alone in our "sufferings"....it also allows us to see that "Pain is mandatory, but suffering is optional" Dear brother, i most sincerely wish that we lived closer together, so that we might drop in on one another and offer loving support to one another.... If you ever feel the need or desire to get away from it all down there, you may consider yourself, and children most cordially, and lovingly invited to visit your loving brother in B.C., Canada...it is a very healing kind of area, with vast mountain ranges, and a most beautiful sacred river flowing thru the middle of the valley...it feels to me to be like living in the Himalayas, with Ganga Ma flowing sweetly besides....even there is a most beautiful mountain just across the river and a couple mountain ranges (lower ones), which to me resembles Mount Kailas ever so much.... there are many pictures of Lord Sri Krsna within the house, as well as even more of the Devi in Her various forms...one could look at it as a retreat of sorts. in reference to the pains of separation from the beloved object of the heart, i still believe that it helps to realise as that ancient saying goes: "The wife is not loved for the sake of the wife, but rather, for the sake of the Self Alone, within the wife...the husband is not loved for the sake of the husband, but rather for the sake of the Self Alone, within the husband; the child is not loved for the sake of the child, but rather for the sake of the Self Alone, shining within the child." in this way, when we look at separation and divorce, your pain is easy to understand (been there, done that too)....we are mistakenly imagining that it IS the wife that is loved for the sake of the WIFE....we forget that it is the Self within the wife, which we really loved....and thus our agony of separation is entirely reasonable, as we imagine that our contact with the "Self" was particular to that person...and so when the person goes, so does our loving connection with the Self within that person....and so we are in agony... but if we can see that it is the Self alone that we are really loving and desiring to be with...then we can release our frantic hold upon the beloved object, who won't co-operate with our fantasies....and start to see that very same Self within one's own self, and within the myriads of beings that we may meet through out our lives...each of them is Siva, is Devi...that is WHY we are attracted to them...and WE TOO are Siva, are Devi...so if we Look more deeply within our own hearts, calling out to our Beloved Deity to reveal Herself....then how can She refuse, once She is sure that you mean business....and then when we look at our hearts, we find that far from being a vast empty hole of yearning for fulfillment, that this same heart is actually a fountain of Love and Light, flowing equally to all of the Divine Mother's Children.... it is when one has become that which one seeks, that one's worries in the Marital department will be over...it won't be an item on the agenda any more...because we have "bigger fish to fry"...we can realise thus that these mental and emotional challenges are actually GURU PRASAD...or Divine Prasad...to help us grow to be more adorable, thru bringing up constantly all the defects that need to be redressed....and when redressed, we will be that much more 'adorable', such that finally we may be able to merge in the Sacred Om.... So all this is merely Lord Sri Krsna's gift to you dear brother...His gift of "penetrating insight" into the rightful state of affairs in this world, His gift of understanding that in this world no one really can love us....they do not know HOW to love us...nor do we often know how to love them...Just as in Paramahansa Yoganandaji's chant: "In this world, Mother, no one can love me; In this world, they do not know how to love me. Where is there pure loving Love? Where is there truly Loving me? There my soul longs to be; There my soul longs to be!" this is NOT feeling sorry for oneself, but merely seeing the exact nature of things in this world...it is humbling but true! this attitude will give one dispassion, and discrimination, not looking for love in all the wrong places, but rather within one's own Heart....all the rest is the ego's play...and that wily old ego is not about to give up easily..... May the Divine Mother Grant you the Intense desire to gain ever deeper understanding of this life, and may She Grant you Pure Love of Her Lotus Feet, in All Her forms! In the Divine Mother's love, and in Her Service, as ever, your own brother, and Self, visvanathan Om Amrtesvaryai Namah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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