Aloneness Challenge

[Guest guest]

Hello,

 

This is my scene: I have a 3 bedroom house. My two independent, really

good, teenage kids occuppy two rooms, and use the kitchen. My room is

like a renovated garage, so it's big. On one side is a whole circular

array of computer gear- lots. On the other side is an area partitioned

off by Indian print madras sheets hanging from the ceiling. In there is

my bed. That's it.

 

I live in this room 24/7. My kids hardly need me. They drive and have

cars. I don't need anything. I do everything from this room, from soup

to nuts, my whole business, alone. The courier man delivers the goods I

order, and I turn them into software, and take them to the post office.

I buy groceries and go to the bank. At these places I see faces. I don't

talk to them, as is the way in America. I go home, where I never see faces.

 

I have just a couple local people who know me, and I hardly ever see

them, and we're not that close really.

 

I do not want to go to clubs or anything at all, to try to stir up

social life for myself, because I feel like I'm leaving my work post for

folly. It takes so long via this route to create real relationships and

a spouse, so I'd rather not bother. The good lord is going to have to

send one to my door.

 

So I will stay in this room, 24/7, and just keep doing this, because I

really don't see anything out there in America worth going to or doing

at all. So I never meet anybody, and nobody ever comes over. I'm totally

isolated.

 

I am trying to handle this but I must admit, the isolation alone is a

big life stopping issue. It gets in the way. I don't really know how to

actually, effectively, solve that problem. It's hurting productivity,

and that hurts my core, because artistic, meaningful, divinely related

productivity makes me happy and I feel I have to do it to be happy and alive.

 

So isolation, which I've created, is my enemy. But the people who

interest me are a tiny sliver of the population, spread asunder. What to

do. I've tried everything locally that you can try, to no avail so far.

I guess I just have to tolerate this never ending aloneness bravely. It

seems impossible to end it.

 

I am trying to cut it through it and finish this gosh darn GJ3

enigma.... it's taking forever only because of this issue and all it's

related symptoms and outcomes.

 

If you have this too, how do you bear it?

 

I wish I knew surely how to handle this without making a blithering fool

out of myself.

 

Isolation sucks.

 

--

 

 

Das Goravani

 

 

 

 

 

 

2852 Willamette St # 353

Eugene OR USA 97405

 

or

Fax: 541-343-0344

 

"Goravani Jyotish"

Vedic/Hindu Astrology Software