Thanks and a Bipo Description Tidbit

[Guest guest]

Thank you A/BoNo, for your very kindly worded loving letter.

I appreciate your advice.

 

I wish I could convey to everyone, this strange feeling,

that overcomes me, when I'm alone, even though I have a nice

place, and all I need to do my service, a service I do still

love deep inside, which is so compelling, this feeling, to

cry, to feel fear of being alone more. It's a self

fulfilling fear, it says it's bad now and it's going to stay

bad, and it's really clear, and really loud. It says, you

are not married, you're 42, and at this thought, my emotions

go sailing through the roof in pain, sorrow, fear, remorse,

like anything. It's really total. All's I can do is cry and

hold on for the ride's duration, which can be days. You

should understand that this is like a ride. It's not slight,

subtle, or missed. It's loud, clear, violent, intense,

unmistakable. It feels alot like the dips in roller coaster

rides, that stomach feeling, that's part of it, along with

tremors, dizziness, palpitations, short breathing, vomiting,

coughing, etc. I don't vomit, I just go fetal for hours.

(curl up). This deep emotional fear dissipates immediately

and fully upon having a good relationship. Amazing but true.

Other than that, next step, Lithium. Going down. That's how

I see it anyway. I hate this med path. I'm embarrassed,

ashamed, upset, and totally afraid. I tried so hard to be

good, and got this, instead of a wife. Oh well, war's hell.

 

Anyway, thanks for your love. Thanks, and to everyone else

too, thank you all, I really want to make it, I really do, I

have many more product dreams, and nearly done stuff, and I

want to live and love, and be around more for my kids, it

feels so like the end, and I haven't the energy to do

anything any of you are suggesting, I'm really dead, oh

well, we'll see, guess i've been here before, I can't

remember anymore, that's why I am screaming for help,

because I can't fix anything anymore, that's why it feels

bad this time, there's like not even any fumes left, ya

know? peace out,

--

 

 

D

[Guest guest]

Dear Das,

 

Pick up a copy of "Personality Types" by Don Richard Riso, and read the

whole of "Type 6 (Loyalist) - you will understand why you feel the way you

do, and will understand why the loneliness gets to you.

 

S.

 

========

 

-

"Das Goravani" <>

<gjlist>

Sunday, August 11, 2002 5:53 AM

[GJ] Thanks and a Bipo Description Tidbit

 

 

:

:

: Thank you A/BoNo, for your very kindly worded loving letter.

: I appreciate your advice.

:

: I wish I could convey to everyone, this strange feeling,

: that overcomes me, when I'm alone, even though I have a nice

: place, and all I need to do my service, a service I do still

: love deep inside, which is so compelling, this feeling, to

: cry, to feel fear of being alone more. It's a self

: fulfilling fear, it says it's bad now and it's going to stay

: bad, and it's really clear, and really loud. It says, you

: are not married, you're 42, and at this thought, my emotions

: go sailing through the roof in pain, sorrow, fear, remorse,

: like anything. It's really total. All's I can do is cry and

: hold on for the ride's duration, which can be days. You

: should understand that this is like a ride. It's not slight,

: subtle, or missed. It's loud, clear, violent, intense,

: unmistakable. It feels alot like the dips in roller coaster

: rides, that stomach feeling, that's part of it, along with

: tremors, dizziness, palpitations, short breathing, vomiting,

: coughing, etc. I don't vomit, I just go fetal for hours.

: (curl up). This deep emotional fear dissipates immediately

: and fully upon having a good relationship. Amazing but true.

: Other than that, next step, Lithium. Going down. That's how

: I see it anyway. I hate this med path. I'm embarrassed,

: ashamed, upset, and totally afraid. I tried so hard to be

: good, and got this, instead of a wife. Oh well, war's hell.

:

: Anyway, thanks for your love. Thanks, and to everyone else

: too, thank you all, I really want to make it, I really do, I

: have many more product dreams, and nearly done stuff, and I

: want to live and love, and be around more for my kids, it

: feels so like the end, and I haven't the energy to do

: anything any of you are suggesting, I'm really dead, oh

: well, we'll see, guess i've been here before, I can't

: remember anymore, that's why I am screaming for help,

: because I can't fix anything anymore, that's why it feels

: bad this time, there's like not even any fumes left, ya

: know? peace out,

: --

:

:

: D

:

:

:

:

: Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya; Hare Krishna; Om Tat Sat

: : gjlist-

:

:

:

: Your use of is subject to

:

:

 

 

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