may i???

August 28, 2002

Dear Sir,

I am aware what is going on with you. First whenever

there is a combination in the chart when lagan is

combined with eight houses it gives this type of

tendency. In your case it may be like that but you

don’t die because you have good eight house so if good

eight house means you can go where other people cannot

go that means occult matters.

You can only go there when you are away with this

world this does not mean that you are somewhere lonely

meditating somewhere in mountains or jungle it means

that you are not attach to this world you live here

you eat and enjoy all the pleasures of this earth but

it is like you are watching a movie but not able to

attach to the movie you are seeing the passing of all

characters but you don’t attach to them.

When you come into your self then you start feeling

that there is something which is governing this whole

phenomena you start seeing the both sides of the

things you start observing that each action has a same

reaction it is just a process when you start getting

away with this process so the reaction seizes and when

there is no reaction there is nothing absolute zero

then you start reaching a stage that when you do any

thing but it does not affect you because you are not

doing it is someone else does.

Then you start becoming like a plain mirror any thing,

which comes with your contact it reflects the back but

nothing sticks to you. You are just a plain mirror

then you start believing that you don’t exist any more

than you want something, which can realize you that

you exist.

It is a process many evolved souls realize this which

I am telling you.

Then you start seeing that there is some basic

purpose of your existence it is like a chain if you

are not existing then the whole earth disappear the

link vanishes your presence is very much requirement

of you in this world because this world is chosen by

you only.

It is like we are tiny drops of water which is

flowing towards the shore and going back again and

again but we move with other drops of water and then

it makes the ocean that is same with us we are all

tiny drops of water if one drop is not there so the

whole ocean vanish because all drops are attach,

so this human beings or say all that exist is same

which has come from empty ness and then it will

dissolve into emptiness when we start finding that

emptiness then we become like god we can create any

thing we want we can destroy anything we desire. we

can reach any where , we desire but you know when you

find that emptiness that desire also vanish .

But the point is how can emptiness be dissolve

because if emptiness is there is something and

emptiness with respect to wholeness so process goes

and goes on it is like a web which is cased and then

vanish into time and then re cased and then re vanish

in the time.

If you want to reach the emptiness you have can chose

any path you can do any work and don’t think you are

doing. Try to speak truth in your whole life try to do

mediation on breath and see how life changes of you

and those of you which are attached to you

With my best wishes

Tarun Chopra

--- Fast Learner <good_fast_learner

wrote:

> Hello,

>

> At the onset, I would like to say sorry for

> deviating

> from the main theme. But I have been prompted to

> post

> something here, encouraged by some of the earlier

> postings on the list. I dunno why but I have started

> to treat this group as my friend. I’ve been reading

> the postings on this list for over a year now and in

> a

> way have started to feel familiar with some of the

> members who are regularly posting on the list and

> perhaps that is the reason why I am opening up a

> bit.

>

> Now……with some introduction………me is not an

> astrologer

> and was initially a nonbeliever in this vedic

> science.

> But happenings in my life have forced me to quest

> for

> finding the reason or answer to “ Why me” concept.

> And

> rather getting half replies from

> consultants…..thought

> might as well learn the science and try to unearth

> why

> things happen the way they are happening if it can

> be

> really seen through horoscopes. Anyways……that was

> how

> I got associated to this and am pretty satisfied

> with

> what I am learning.

>

> The reason of this posting is however, different.

> Related to spiritualism, I guess!!!! As a person I

> am

> totally disinterested in life…..feel it to be

> meaningless existence. See the world around and feel

> disgusted by the hypocracy, self agendas etc. of the

> people and start to question myself why should a

> person live amidst all this. Try to reason out the

> logic of existence and feel like walking out and

> perhaps start meditating somewhere, but cannot , as

> I

> have some responsibilities and cannot disown them.

> All

> this makes me feel much more frustrated and I feel

> I

> am forced to live a life which I don’t want to.

> Feel

> like tied down against my will. But then I think

> why

> am I alive… it is coz of these responsibilities only

> and how can I disown them. At times my heart cries

> but

> I have to keep smiling. I feel hungry but don’t feel

> like eating. Feel totally totally disinterested.

> Now,

> perhaps u would say pray!!!!! Here, today I am

> being

> honest……..i stopped believing in god…..but no I have

> not completely……..i have just stopped looking at him

> when am in trouble………..the battle is mine , and I

> have

> to fight it myself without his help. I am tempted to

> move towards him only when I hear discourses while

> channel surfing. I would say I am a totally confused

> person and perhaps too myopic to notice my own

> faults.

> Perhaps u learned lot from a distance ,could point

> out

> my faults to me so that I may try to correct myself

> and find some peace in life. Any frank

> suggestions?????

>

> tanha

>

> Everything you'll ever need on one web page

> from News and Sport to Email and Music Charts

> http://uk.my.

>

> Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya; Hare Krishna; Om Tat

> Sat

> :

> gjlist-

>

> Your use of is subject to

>

Finance - Get real-time stock quotes

http://finance.

August 28, 2002

Dear Tanha ~

I'm glad you've begun to perceive this list as your friend since a friend

is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway. It is also good

that you have taken a personal interest in vedic astrology so you,

yourself, can learn to unearth the planetary influences behind your

personal psyche and life events.

No one astrologer, no one faith, no one book, no one institution has all

the answers, nor even any patent on the way of finding

answers. Inspiration, discovery, insight and wisdom; these are all to be

found among people belonging to all traditions, coming from all parts of

the earth and from all periods of history.

Religion ... as a universal feature of human life is broader than the

specific forms taken by the various institutions and traditions that call

themselves religions.

As a Unitarian Universalist, I believe in a universal humanity that

underlies all the cultural and political institutions that the various

races and nations have developed. Unitarians believe that outstanding

persons such as Jesus and Krishna and Socrates and the Buddha are part of

our common humanity, not intrusions from the outside. They attained heights

that can be reached also by others within this same common humanity, and no

doubt that have been on many occasions.

Believing is essentially an individual matter, so I will not tell you to

pray. A more realistic understanding accepts that the polarity between what

we call good and evil runs not simply through the human race but through

each one of us as individuals; and like all other polarities, is capable

of being transcended within a greater whole. Human nature, however varied

the forms of expression is neither a constant nor an isolated

phenomenon. It is not constant because it is continually changing and

growing and reflects the level in the evolutionary process that has thus

far been reached. It is not isolated because human beings do not live in

isolation. We are what we are as a result of continuous interaction with

an environment that is not separated from our own essential nature by any

impenetrable boundary. We are all of us continually being defined and

redefined by the whole constellation of planetary relationships in any

given time, place and circumstance into which we enter. So asking

ourselves, whether human nature is good or evil is like asking whether

water is hot or cold. So being disinterested in life and seeing yourself

as separate from the forms is your personal choice and your individual

right. Neither right nor wrong nor good or bad nor truth or lie.

The view of human nature and conduct demands a fresh and creative response

to each new person and each new situation. It therefore stands that creeds

and commandments place a straitjacket upon one's freedom to respond

creatively to the uniqueness of each situation in which one finds

oneself, and instead attempts to sort life out into prescribed categories

within each of which there is a stereotyped response. Yet, creeds &

commandments are not totally useless either. They can be regarded as maxims

expressing some sort of consensus as to the best procedures in very

generalized situations. Carry them further than this and they choke the

individual's growth and development.

He drew a circle that shut me out ___

Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.

But Love and I had the wit to win:

We drew a circle that took him in.

The question about being the creator or the created ... always stands as

an open ended question in front of us; and most of us have, at one time or

another, run the gambit from Love to lovelessness.

May your life sparkle with amusement and tolerance and love.

Sincerely ~

Chandra

~

At 09:45 AM 8/28/02, you wrote:

> Hello,

>

>At the onset, I would like to say sorry for deviating

>from the main theme. But I have been prompted to post

>something here, encouraged by some of the earlier

>postings on the list. I dunno why but I have started

>to treat this group as my friend. I’ve been reading

>the postings on this list for over a year now and in a

>way have started to feel familiar with some of the

>members who are regularly posting on the list and

>perhaps that is the reason why I am opening up a bit.

>

> Now……with some introduction………me is not an astrologer

>and was initially a nonbeliever in this vedic science.

>But happenings in my life have forced me to quest for

>finding the reason or answer to “ Why me” concept. And

>rather getting half replies from consultants…..thought

>might as well learn the science and try to unearth why

>things happen the way they are happening if it can be

>really seen through horoscopes. Anyways……that was how

>I got associated to this and am pretty satisfied with

>what I am learning.

>

> The reason of this posting is however, different.

>Related to spiritualism, I guess!!!! As a person I am

>totally disinterested in life…..feel it to be

>meaningless existence. See the world around and feel

>disgusted by the hypocracy, self agendas etc. of the

>people and start to question myself why should a

>person live amidst all this. Try to reason out the

>logic of existence and feel like walking out and

>perhaps start meditating somewhere, but cannot , as I

>have some responsibilities and cannot disown them. All

>this makes me feel much more frustrated and I feel I

>am forced to live a life which I don’t want to. Feel

>like tied down against my will. But then I think why

>am I alive… it is coz of these responsibilities only

>and how can I disown them. At times my heart cries but

>I have to keep smiling. I feel hungry but don’t feel

>like eating. Feel totally totally disinterested. Now,

>perhaps u would say pray!!!!! Here, today I am being

>honest……..i stopped believing in god…..but no I have

>not completely……..i have just stopped looking at him

>when am in trouble………..the battle is mine , and I have

>to fight it myself without his help. I am tempted to

>move towards him only when I hear discourses while

>channel surfing. I would say I am a totally confused

>person and perhaps too myopic to notice my own faults.

>Perhaps u learned lot from a distance ,could point out

>my faults to me so that I may try to correct myself

>and find some peace in life. Any frank

>suggestions?????

>

>tanha

>

---

Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.

Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).

Version: 6.0.372 / Virus Database: 207 - Release 6/20/02

August 28, 2002

hi

i would suggest u to read gita....a must for u .

seek his blessings before u start reading.

u 'll def. b shown the right path.

prashant

--- Fast Learner <good_fast_learner

wrote:

> Hello,

>

> At the onset, I would like to say sorry for

> deviating

> from the main theme. But I have been prompted to

> post

> something here, encouraged by some of the earlier

> postings on the list. I dunno why but I have started

> to treat this group as my friend. I’ve been reading

> the postings on this list for over a year now and in

> a

> way have started to feel familiar with some of the

> members who are regularly posting on the list and

> perhaps that is the reason why I am opening up a

> bit.

>

> Now……with some introduction………me is not an

> astrologer

> and was initially a nonbeliever in this vedic

> science.

> But happenings in my life have forced me to quest

> for

> finding the reason or answer to “ Why me” concept.

> And

> rather getting half replies from

> consultants…..thought

> might as well learn the science and try to unearth

> why

> things happen the way they are happening if it can

> be

> really seen through horoscopes. Anyways……that was

> how

> I got associated to this and am pretty satisfied

> with

> what I am learning.

>

> The reason of this posting is however, different.

> Related to spiritualism, I guess!!!! As a person I

> am

> totally disinterested in life…..feel it to be

> meaningless existence. See the world around and feel

> disgusted by the hypocracy, self agendas etc. of the

> people and start to question myself why should a

> person live amidst all this. Try to reason out the

> logic of existence and feel like walking out and

> perhaps start meditating somewhere, but cannot , as

> I

> have some responsibilities and cannot disown them.

> All

> this makes me feel much more frustrated and I feel

> I

> am forced to live a life which I don’t want to.

> Feel

> like tied down against my will. But then I think

> why

> am I alive… it is coz of these responsibilities only

> and how can I disown them. At times my heart cries

> but

> I have to keep smiling. I feel hungry but don’t feel

> like eating. Feel totally totally disinterested.

> Now,

> perhaps u would say pray!!!!! Here, today I am

> being

> honest……..i stopped believing in god…..but no I have

> not completely……..i have just stopped looking at him

> when am in trouble………..the battle is mine , and I

> have

> to fight it myself without his help. I am tempted to

> move towards him only when I hear discourses while

> channel surfing. I would say I am a totally confused

> person and perhaps too myopic to notice my own

> faults.

> Perhaps u learned lot from a distance ,could point

> out

> my faults to me so that I may try to correct myself

> and find some peace in life. Any frank

> suggestions?????

>

> tanha

>

> Everything you'll ever need on one web page

> from News and Sport to Email and Music Charts

> http://uk.my.

>

> Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya; Hare Krishna; Om Tat

> Sat

> :

> gjlist-

>

> Your use of is subject to

>

Finance - Get real-time stock quotes

http://finance.

September 1, 2002

Hello Tanha,

Well , I think this is not the platform for your problem ,but

it seems u are in trouble and u seek some honest advice . In

fact ,giving advice is very easy , but the thing is how far it is of

practical use to you ? I try my best .

The very line that attracted me in ur message is "i have just

stopped looking at him when am in trouble………..the battle is mine ,

and I have to fight it myself without his help" . That is the real

spirit , fight yourself , But I don't think there is a problem in

praying to God .After all ,He is the Giver to all the creatures in

this world .He is our father and everything . Don't we seek help from

our father when we are in need . I think we all have been grown in

the grooming of our father .

Don't loose your heart , there is a light after a long dark tunnel .

Can you show anyone with respnsibilities and problems . Pray God and

May God bless you in your fight .

remains,

Shanmukha.

gjlist, Fast Learner <good_fast_learner> wrote:

> Hello,

>

> At the onset, I would like to say sorry for deviating

> from the main theme. But I have been prompted to post

> something here, encouraged by some of the earlier

> postings on the list. I dunno why but I have started

> to treat this group as my friend. I've been reading

> the postings on this list for over a year now and in a

> way have started to feel familiar with some of the

> members who are regularly posting on the list and

> perhaps that is the reason why I am opening up a bit.

>

> Now……with some introduction………me is not an astrologer

> and was initially a nonbeliever in this vedic science.

> But happenings in my life have forced me to quest for

> finding the reason or answer to " Why me" concept. And

> rather getting half replies from consultants…..thought

> might as well learn the science and try to unearth why

> things happen the way they are happening if it can be

> really seen through horoscopes. Anyways……that was how

> I got associated to this and am pretty satisfied with

> what I am learning.

>

> The reason of this posting is however, different.

> Related to spiritualism, I guess!!!! As a person I am

> totally disinterested in life…..feel it to be

> meaningless existence. See the world around and feel

> disgusted by the hypocracy, self agendas etc. of the

> people and start to question myself why should a

> person live amidst all this. Try to reason out the

> logic of existence and feel like walking out and

> perhaps start meditating somewhere, but cannot , as I

> have some responsibilities and cannot disown them. All

> this makes me feel much more frustrated and I feel I

> am forced to live a life which I don't want to. Feel

> like tied down against my will. But then I think why

> am I alive… it is coz of these responsibilities only

> and how can I disown them. At times my heart cries but

> I have to keep smiling. I feel hungry but don't feel

> like eating. Feel totally totally disinterested. Now,

> perhaps u would say pray!!!!! Here, today I am being

> honest……..i stopped believing in god…..but no I have

> not completely……..i have just stopped looking at him

> when am in trouble………..the battle is mine , and I have

> to fight it myself without his help. I am tempted to

> move towards him only when I hear discourses while

> channel surfing. I would say I am a totally confused

> person and perhaps too myopic to notice my own faults.

> Perhaps u learned lot from a distance ,could point out

> my faults to me so that I may try to correct myself

> and find some peace in life. Any frank

> suggestions?????

>

> tanha

>

> Everything you'll ever need on one web page

> from News and Sport to Email and Music Charts

> http://uk.my.

September 1, 2002

Dear Tanha and Listmembers,

It was so many years ago I worked at Grant Engineering in Winter Park,

Florida, that my memory made a mistake in identifying the project we were

awarded on March 10th.

For the record, I want to correct my error. Caribbean Beach resort was

the project that eventually developed a problem not the fault of Grant's

skilled engineers.

Completing their work on Caribbean Resort for Disney, Grant Engineering,

Inc. hired me in 1988 to work on a new job, E.T.'s Adventure for Universal

Studios Florida.

After Universal Studios had its glorious opening day (that's another

story!), we had very few projects left to work on, so after awhile George

sadly let everyone go. You know what happened next; he had to rehire them in

March. The project awarded to Grant Engineering on March 10, 1989 was for a

resort called Disney World's Dixie Landings. I still have my red engineer's

hat from that job, and I wear it once a year.

Love to all,

Carolo

September 1, 2002

Dear Tanha,

You have been offered many different considerations from members of this

compassionate GJList. Now I noticed you are thinking vedic astrology will be

somewhat helpful to you, and at the same time I noticed that you seemed to

perfectly describe something in vedic astrology that I have been studying this

month, which is dosha, or the constitutional makeup of a person which is mainly

based upon the ascendant and 6th house and their lords.

The dosha or constitution you have described in your email, looks to me like

Vata dosha, or a wind constitution. There are remedies for this dosha when it is

out of balance.

Rather than describe Vata in detail (as I am a beginner myself), I think you

might look into this and determine for yourself if you have an excess of vata

dosha and should use appropriate remedies (which your vedic textbooks may offer)

to bring about better balance and harmony in your life.

Please keep looking for the right answers, Tanha, and know you will find

them as you progress in your studies, for there is nothing that is not revealed

to the true seeker.

I have a request also: You find such hypocrisy and many problems in the

world that disgust you...my request is for you to turn your back on those

problems that do not immediately touch you in your daily life (such as news

reports, etc.), and to bring about harmony within the small circle of people you

do touch every day, as best as you can. You will be the yeast that leavens the

bread in your own environment. Do you think we need leaders who will bring joy

to our world rather than so much dismay? Then you must be the one to act and be

a leader since you personally see the need for positive action and restoration

of balance. It is those who see the need, who can bring about the best sort of

change in their daily lives.

Long ago I met a rabbi at a church service, of all places, and I told him

that the engineering company I worked for was disbanding and everyone was being

let go. He looked at me sharply and said,

"It's your fault!"

"My fault?" I reacted in amazement and disbelief.

"Yes, it's your fault that this is happening, because you could have stopped

it," he said.

"What do you mean, I could stop it? I am merely a drafter; drawing blueprints on

the computer; I am not the president, the vice-president, the secretary, or

anything, I own no stock in this small company, I am just a worker there!"

"You are the only person in the company who could stop it from closing, and you

are at fault for letting it get to the point where decent people have been let

go already so that they have to find new jobs to support their families!"

I was totally amazed and shocked at his stern words to me. How could I have a

thing to do with the downfall of a company I was grateful to be working at, a

company that provided sustenance for me and my 3 sons, a company that had

brought about the opportunity for us to climb out of desperate poverty and had

allowed me to work on wonderful projects that would bring happiness and comfort

to many people long after our work was done....how could I, a learner, a mother,

be responsible for the downfall of this company, and furthermore, be the cause

of its downfall, and ever more, be the only one who could bring it back to

life?????

Well, I took the rabbi's words in and thought and thought deeply about what

he'd told me. If what he'd said was correct, then I alone had a tremendous

responsibility--to mend the direction of that company and make it prosper. If

what he'd said were true, I had to turn the company around, myself, me, just a

drafter!

I decided then and there to stay in the company even though everyone but the

owners had been let go. I showed up to work even though they had no money to pay

their bills, let alone my own pay. I had 3 boys to support (and wasn't getting

court-ordered child support, either)and yet I had to take the leap of faith that

what I was told might be true: it might be my own fault that the company had let

everyone go, and that only I could bring it back.

I came to work and the vice pres was surprised to see me. I explained to him,

"You still have follow-up drafting on already-completed projects, so I'm here to

do drafting, plus anything else I can do."

"We can't pay you," he said.

"I know, but God is watching over me and my children," I replied.

He was amazed, but allowed me to stay that morning. Then the mechanical

engineer who'd taught me so much about engineering showed up, saying, "My wife

and I have a reserve fund that will sustain us for about 2 months, so I am here

to continue working here as long as our funds holds out."

Now we had a pres, a vice-pres, a mechanical engineer, and me. The pres's

wife came in and was sorting through the paperwork, answering the phone in place

of the secretary who'd been let go. She looked downcast as she set aside a stack

of envelopes that were bills the company could not pay.

"What are you frowning for?" I asked the vice-pres. "Take those worry lines

off your face," I told him, "this is just a pause for us before we get so much

work you'll wish you could have this peaceful time again!"

"Wish that were true", he said, quietly.

"This company has too much going for it to die," I told the pres.

"Wish you'd tell my wife that," he replied with a sigh.

Then I went to the front desk and spoke with Lynne, the pres's wife.

"I don't think this company deserves to die," I began, it has too much going

for it!"

"I agree with you," she responded.

"Lynne, look at our company that has done good work with all of its people

working in harmony together, and take a new company just starting out. Which

company has a better chance in the marketplace, a better chance to win a bid for

new work?"

"We do", I answered my own question,"because a company just starting out

doesn't have the resources we already have, hasn't worked out the interaction

with its own people and its clients, hasn't got years of developed skills in

engineering and using computers, and has no history of successful projects

behind it that we have! There is absolutely no reason we can't continue to be

successful; we have so much more going for us than any other company starting

out in business for the first time! There are new projects to be worked on

all the time; we are just having a break period, a rest period, that's all,

before we get so much work we won't have any rest at all!"

Okay, most of you might guess the rest of this story.

I told everyone that on March 10 our fortunes would turn around so much that

it would be unbelievable how much work we'd have. It was January already and

they'd found enough money to pay me my salary the day after I showed up, and

vice pres had asked me to stay onboard. I rearranged and clearly marked and

re-ordered their file system so they could find everything much more easily than

before. I worked on drawings as needed. I rolled up old drawings and catalogued

them and put them in the archive area. I cleaned up all the equipment, dusted it

off, got ready for our new work that would be coming in by March 10.

Our pres. had put in a bid to work on a Disney project called Carribbean

Beach. It was a huge project that would go to a medium or large engineering

firm, not to a firm with only 5 people total. We had already worked on other

projects for Disney back when we were 15 people, and one of the Disney resort

projects had problems associated with it that were being blamed on mechanical

engineering, while we felt the architect and builder had made the mistake

leading to the problem. (Our mechanical engineer had helped write the code

requirements for Florida; he knew his engineering).

Well, the day came that our pres. was asked to come to Disney to talk with

the Disney project person. It was Monday, March 6, 1989 when this conference

took place. The Disney man had his ankles crossed up on the desk while our boss

sat in front, facing him. Leaning back with his arms behind his head, the Disney

man said to my boss,

"We understand you want to win this Caribbean Beach project but we want to ask

you to withdraw from the bidding because of the problem we had on the last

project. If you will withdraw now from the bidding, we will promise not to sue

you for the million dollars' problem, but if you decide to remain in the bidding

for this new project, I warn you now, we may come after you!"

My boss, wearing his goldtone Mickey Mouse wristwatch, said, "We do good

engineering, and we are not at fault in the problem you are referring to. I have

reviewed all of our work and find that the problem was caused by others and not

us. I am willing to stand by our work no matter what. I want to remain in the

bidding for the new project."

Right then, the man took his feet off the desk.

"Good," he said, leaning forward, "because it has been decided to award the

new contract to you." They shook hands.

My boss called us together to his office that afternoon.

"Well, folks," he said, "I don't know what to think. I was completely dizzy

after that meeting, it was both the worst day and the best possible day all

rolled up into one. It could be that we get this new contract, which would be

the biggest contract in our company'sn history, or we could lose it. You never

know how something will turn out until the thing is done. Official contract

document signing's not until Friday, folks, and anything could happen between

now and Friday."

I finally spoke up.

"Coming events cast their shadows long before they are seen. We HAVE that

contract!"

"Well, I sure hope so," said the pres., letting the 4 of us all return to

our respective office areas.

As I filed out of his office, I asked, "What day is Friday? What number day

is it?"

"March 10", someone answered. The office was quiet and thoughtful.

On March 10, the contract was signed. We rehired many of our former people,

and started work that would continue for about 2 years.

The boss gave me, a drafter, a bonus check--for $1,000.00. Me, just a

draftsperson. He said it was,

"Because you held us all together."

But how was it that I, a nobody, a mother, a draftsperson just learning,

could have any influence at all upon anything at all?

I was a person whose life had turned upside down and it went all wrong. So

how could the rabbi be correct, and even more, how could my prediction about

March 10 be correct?

I'd only picked that date because in the Tropical astrology system, March 10

marked Jupiter's change of signs. For goodness' sake, I didn't know what its

change of signs meant, just that it meant a change, so I'd stated it as the time

when we'd have a positive change, and went with that.

I didn't have anything else to go on but blind belief in the rabbi who'd

audaciously blamed everything on me and said I was the only one to fix it!

So who is this me person who I am? Nobody in particular, just someone who has

found that there is so much more to existence than i ever thought there was, and

we have much more creative resources to affect life than we ever thought we

could possibly have.

March 10, 1989 in vedic astrology might have meant nothing at all or something

special, I haven't researched it.

But it was the whole belief kindled in our hearts, expecting March 10 to somehow

be a day of our greatest turnaround, that caused something, whatever it is, to

make it happen.

I think we are creative beings with our thinking. I think we can create order

where once there was chaos. I think and believe it's right to wish for better

circumstances and a better world situation. And I am convinced we can bring

healthy and beneficial change to our own lives.

Concentrate on what is GOOD to do, and act on that. The next step will follow

naturally, so be ready to act on that next step and the ones that follow.

For the time being, do not concern yourself if there is a God or not a God,

Tanha, just act on what qualities God is said have: Goodness, life, truth,

principle, compassion, love, and any other quality you recognize as a godly

expression.

Where you see lack, bring plenty. Where you see hypocrisy, bring truth. Where

you see sadness, gently bring joy, even if to say, it could be much, much worse,

so I am grateful for what I have and I will start with that. Where you see

artificial things and stagnation, bring nature's beauty and purity and cause

beneficial change. Where you see discouragement, bring hope. When you are

tempted to be cynical, wash your hands of cynicism and apply them to doing

something helpful right where you are; that's what you should concentrate upon

until you see yourself making something good in place of what was not as good

before you changed it.

You have so much to do that you are able to do. You are at fault and the

cause of others' woes if you don't do these things, taught the rabbi. Will you

find time to write email and tell us of your upward progress? The status quo is

getting old, and you're ready to institute beneficial change in your life. Go

for it, Tanha.

Love and best wishes to you,

Carol

In a message dated Sun, 1 Sep 2002 3:31:46 AM Eastern Standard Time,

teli_sha2002 writes:

> As a person I am

> > totally disinterested in life…..feel it to be

> > meaningless existence. See the world around and feel

> > disgusted by the hypocracy, self agendas etc. of the

> > people and start to question myself why should a

> > person live amidst all this. Try to reason out the

> > logic of existence and feel like walking out and

> > perhaps start meditating somewhere, but cannot , as I

> > have some responsibilities and cannot disown them. All

> > this makes me feel much more frustrated and I feel I

> > am forced to live a life which I don't want to. Feel

> > like tied down against my will. But then I think why

> > am I alive… it is coz of these responsibilities only

> > and how can I disown them. At times my heart cries but

> > I have to keep smiling. I feel hungry but don't feel

> > like eating. Feel totally totally disinterested. Now,

> > perhaps u would say pray!!!!! Here, today I am being

> > honest……..i stopped believing in god…..but no I have

> > not completely……..i have just stopped looking at him

> > when am in trouble………..the battle is mine , and I have

> > to fight it myself without his help. I am tempted to

> > move towards him only when I hear discourses while

> > channel surfing. I would say I am a totally confused

> > person and perhaps too myopic to notice my own faults.

> > Perhaps u learned lot from a distance ,could point out

> > my faults to me so that I may try to correct myself

> > and find some peace in life. Any frank

> > suggestions?????

> >

> > tanha

September 1, 2002

Thank you to many for your kind remarks.

I misspelled my name as Carolo--typing fingers gave a new name, sounds like a

song!

Tomorrow (Monday) is Labor Day (a misnomer, since we have a day off as a

holiday).

I'll be wondering about that 17 deg. Scorpio event for September 24...Hope

you all will talk about it some more. Thanks, list friends, for so much food

for thought!

God bless you all.

Love,

Carol

September 1, 2002

Very beautiful story, well said and done, Carol. A lot to learn and apply

these principles in life. I am a fresh learner about the science of Vedic

Astrology and am very fortunate to be on this list learning from the learned

people like yourself. Regards.... Amar Puri.

>Carolhook

>gjlist

>Re: [GJ] Re: may i???

>Sun, 01 Sep 2002 15:00:45 -0400

>

>Dear Tanha,

>

> You have been offered many different considerations from members of

>this compassionate GJList. Now I noticed you are thinking vedic astrology

>will be somewhat helpful to you, and at the same time I noticed that you

>seemed to perfectly describe something in vedic astrology that I have been

>studying this month, which is dosha, or the constitutional makeup of a

>person which is mainly based upon the ascendant and 6th house and their

>lords.

>

> The dosha or constitution you have described in your email, looks to

>me like Vata dosha, or a wind constitution. There are remedies for this

>dosha when it is out of balance.

>

> Rather than describe Vata in detail (as I am a beginner myself), I

>think you might look into this and determine for yourself if you have an

>excess of vata dosha and should use appropriate remedies (which your vedic

>textbooks may offer) to bring about better balance and harmony in your

>life.

>

> Please keep looking for the right answers, Tanha, and know you will

>find them as you progress in your studies, for there is nothing that is not

>revealed to the true seeker.

>

> I have a request also: You find such hypocrisy and many problems in

>the world that disgust you...my request is for you to turn your back on

>those problems that do not immediately touch you in your daily life (such

>as news reports, etc.), and to bring about harmony within the small circle

>of people you do touch every day, as best as you can. You will be the yeast

>that leavens the bread in your own environment. Do you think we need

>leaders who will bring joy to our world rather than so much dismay? Then

>you must be the one to act and be a leader since you personally see the

>need for positive action and restoration of balance. It is those who see

>the need, who can bring about the best sort of change in their daily lives.

>

> Long ago I met a rabbi at a church service, of all places, and I told

>him that the engineering company I worked for was disbanding and everyone

>was being let go. He looked at me sharply and said,

>"It's your fault!"

>"My fault?" I reacted in amazement and disbelief.

>"Yes, it's your fault that this is happening, because you could have

>stopped it," he said.

>"What do you mean, I could stop it? I am merely a drafter; drawing

>blueprints on the computer; I am not the president, the vice-president, the

>secretary, or anything, I own no stock in this small company, I am just a

>worker there!"

>

>"You are the only person in the company who could stop it from closing, and

>you are at fault for letting it get to the point where decent people have

>been let go already so that they have to find new jobs to support their

>families!"

>

> I was totally amazed and shocked at his stern words to me. How could I

>have a thing to do with the downfall of a company I was grateful to be

>working at, a company that provided sustenance for me and my 3 sons, a

>company that had brought about the opportunity for us to climb out of

>desperate poverty and had allowed me to work on wonderful projects that

>would bring happiness and comfort to many people long after our work was

>done....how could I, a learner, a mother, be responsible for the downfall

>of this company, and furthermore, be the cause of its downfall, and ever

>more, be the only one who could bring it back to life?????

>

> Well, I took the rabbi's words in and thought and thought deeply about

>what he'd told me. If what he'd said was correct, then I alone had a

>tremendous responsibility--to mend the direction of that company and make

>it prosper. If what he'd said were true, I had to turn the company around,

>myself, me, just a drafter!

>

> I decided then and there to stay in the company even though everyone

>but the owners had been let go. I showed up to work even though they had no

>money to pay their bills, let alone my own pay. I had 3 boys to support

>(and wasn't getting court-ordered child support, either)and yet I had to

>take the leap of faith that what I was told might be true: it might be my

>own fault that the company had let everyone go, and that only I could bring

>it back.

>

> I came to work and the vice pres was surprised to see me. I explained

>to him,

>"You still have follow-up drafting on already-completed projects, so I'm

>here to do drafting, plus anything else I can do."

>"We can't pay you," he said.

>"I know, but God is watching over me and my children," I replied.

>

> He was amazed, but allowed me to stay that morning. Then the mechanical

>engineer who'd taught me so much about engineering showed up, saying, "My

>wife and I have a reserve fund that will sustain us for about 2 months, so

>I am here to continue working here as long as our funds holds out."

>

> Now we had a pres, a vice-pres, a mechanical engineer, and me. The

>pres's wife came in and was sorting through the paperwork, answering the

>phone in place of the secretary who'd been let go. She looked downcast as

>she set aside a stack of envelopes that were bills the company could not

>pay.

>

> "What are you frowning for?" I asked the vice-pres. "Take those worry

>lines off your face," I told him, "this is just a pause for us before we

>get so much work you'll wish you could have this peaceful time again!"

>"Wish that were true", he said, quietly.

> "This company has too much going for it to die," I told the pres.

> "Wish you'd tell my wife that," he replied with a sigh.

>

> Then I went to the front desk and spoke with Lynne, the pres's wife.

> "I don't think this company deserves to die," I began, it has too much

>going for it!"

> "I agree with you," she responded.

> "Lynne, look at our company that has done good work with all of its

>people working in harmony together, and take a new company just starting

>out. Which company has a better chance in the marketplace, a better chance

>to win a bid for new work?"

> "We do", I answered my own question,"because a company just starting

>out doesn't have the resources we already have, hasn't worked out the

>interaction with its own people and its clients, hasn't got years of

>developed skills in engineering and using computers, and has no history of

>successful projects behind it that we have! There is absolutely no reason

>we can't continue to be successful; we have so much more going for us than

>any other company starting out in business for the first time! There are

>new projects to be worked on all the time; we are just having a break

>period, a rest period, that's all, before we get so much work we won't have

>any rest at all!"

>

> Okay, most of you might guess the rest of this story.

>

> I told everyone that on March 10 our fortunes would turn around so much

>that it would be unbelievable how much work we'd have. It was January

>already and they'd found enough money to pay me my salary the day after I

>showed up, and vice pres had asked me to stay onboard. I rearranged and

>clearly marked and re-ordered their file system so they could find

>everything much more easily than before. I worked on drawings as needed. I

>rolled up old drawings and catalogued them and put them in the archive

>area. I cleaned up all the equipment, dusted it off, got ready for our new

>work that would be coming in by March 10.

>

> Our pres. had put in a bid to work on a Disney project called

>Carribbean Beach. It was a huge project that would go to a medium or large

>engineering firm, not to a firm with only 5 people total. We had already

>worked on other projects for Disney back when we were 15 people, and one of

>the Disney resort projects had problems associated with it that were being

>blamed on mechanical engineering, while we felt the architect and builder

>had made the mistake leading to the problem. (Our mechanical engineer had

>helped write the code requirements for Florida; he knew his engineering).

> Well, the day came that our pres. was asked to come to Disney to talk

>with the Disney project person. It was Monday, March 6, 1989 when this

>conference took place. The Disney man had his ankles crossed up on the desk

>while our boss sat in front, facing him. Leaning back with his arms behind

>his head, the Disney man said to my boss,

> "We understand you want to win this Caribbean Beach project but we want

>to ask you to withdraw from the bidding because of the problem we had on

>the last project. If you will withdraw now from the bidding, we will

>promise not to sue you for the million dollars' problem, but if you decide

>to remain in the bidding for this new project, I warn you now, we may come

>after you!"

>

> My boss, wearing his goldtone Mickey Mouse wristwatch, said, "We do good

>engineering, and we are not at fault in the problem you are referring to. I

>have reviewed all of our work and find that the problem was caused by

>others and not us. I am willing to stand by our work no matter what. I want

>to remain in the bidding for the new project."

>

> Right then, the man took his feet off the desk.

> "Good," he said, leaning forward, "because it has been decided to award

>the new contract to you." They shook hands.

>

> My boss called us together to his office that afternoon.

> "Well, folks," he said, "I don't know what to think. I was completely

>dizzy after that meeting, it was both the worst day and the best possible

>day all rolled up into one. It could be that we get this new contract,

>which would be the biggest contract in our company'sn history, or we could

>lose it. You never know how something will turn out until the thing is

>done. Official contract document signing's not until Friday, folks, and

>anything could happen between now and Friday."

>

> I finally spoke up.

>"Coming events cast their shadows long before they are seen. We HAVE that

>contract!"

>

> "Well, I sure hope so," said the pres., letting the 4 of us all return

>to our respective office areas.

>

> As I filed out of his office, I asked, "What day is Friday? What

>number day is it?"

> "March 10", someone answered. The office was quiet and thoughtful.

> On March 10, the contract was signed. We rehired many of our former

>people, and started work that would continue for about 2 years.

> The boss gave me, a drafter, a bonus check--for $1,000.00. Me, just a

>draftsperson. He said it was,

>"Because you held us all together."

>

> But how was it that I, a nobody, a mother, a draftsperson just

>learning, could have any influence at all upon anything at all?

>

> I was a person whose life had turned upside down and it went all wrong.

>So how could the rabbi be correct, and even more, how could my prediction

>about March 10 be correct?

>

> I'd only picked that date because in the Tropical astrology system,

>March 10 marked Jupiter's change of signs. For goodness' sake, I didn't

>know what its change of signs meant, just that it meant a change, so I'd

>stated it as the time when we'd have a positive change, and went with that.

>

> I didn't have anything else to go on but blind belief in the rabbi

>who'd audaciously blamed everything on me and said I was the only one to

>fix it!

>

> So who is this me person who I am? Nobody in particular, just someone

>who has found that there is so much more to existence than i ever thought

>there was, and we have much more creative resources to affect life than we

>ever thought we could possibly have.

> March 10, 1989 in vedic astrology might have meant nothing at all or

>something special, I haven't researched it.

>But it was the whole belief kindled in our hearts, expecting March 10 to

>somehow be a day of our greatest turnaround, that caused something,

>whatever it is, to make it happen.

>

> I think we are creative beings with our thinking. I think we can create

>order where once there was chaos. I think and believe it's right to wish

>for better circumstances and a better world situation. And I am convinced

>we can bring healthy and beneficial change to our own lives.

>

> Concentrate on what is GOOD to do, and act on that. The next step will

>follow naturally, so be ready to act on that next step and the ones that

>follow.

>

> For the time being, do not concern yourself if there is a God or not a

>God, Tanha, just act on what qualities God is said have: Goodness, life,

>truth, principle, compassion, love, and any other quality you recognize as

>a godly expression.

>

> Where you see lack, bring plenty. Where you see hypocrisy, bring truth.

>Where you see sadness, gently bring joy, even if to say, it could be much,

>much worse, so I am grateful for what I have and I will start with that.

>Where you see artificial things and stagnation, bring nature's beauty and

>purity and cause beneficial change. Where you see discouragement, bring

>hope. When you are tempted to be cynical, wash your hands of cynicism and

>apply them to doing something helpful right where you are; that's what you

>should concentrate upon until you see yourself making something good in

>place of what was not as good before you changed it.

>

> You have so much to do that you are able to do. You are at fault and

>the cause of others' woes if you don't do these things, taught the rabbi.

>Will you find time to write email and tell us of your upward progress? The

>status quo is getting old, and you're ready to institute beneficial change

>in your life. Go for it, Tanha.

>

> Love and best wishes to you,

> Carol

>

>In a message dated Sun, 1 Sep 2002 3:31:46 AM Eastern Standard Time,

>teli_sha2002 writes:

>

> > As a person I am

> > > totally disinterested in life…..feel it to be

> > > meaningless existence. See the world around and feel

> > > disgusted by the hypocracy, self agendas etc. of the

> > > people and start to question myself why should a

> > > person live amidst all this. Try to reason out the

> > > logic of existence and feel like walking out and

> > > perhaps start meditating somewhere, but cannot , as I

> > > have some responsibilities and cannot disown them. All

> > > this makes me feel much more frustrated and I feel I

> > > am forced to live a life which I don't want to. Feel

> > > like tied down against my will. But then I think why

> > > am I alive… it is coz of these responsibilities only

> > > and how can I disown them. At times my heart cries but

> > > I have to keep smiling. I feel hungry but don't feel

> > > like eating. Feel totally totally disinterested. Now,

> > > perhaps u would say pray!!!!! Here, today I am being

> > > honest……..i stopped believing in god…..but no I have

> > > not completely……..i have just stopped looking at him

> > > when am in trouble………..the battle is mine , and I have

> > > to fight it myself without his help. I am tempted to

> > > move towards him only when I hear discourses while

> > > channel surfing. I would say I am a totally confused

> > > person and perhaps too myopic to notice my own faults.

> > > Perhaps u learned lot from a distance ,could point out

> > > my faults to me so that I may try to correct myself

> > > and find some peace in life. Any frank

> > > suggestions?????

> > >

> > > tanha

>

>Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya; Hare Krishna; Om Tat Sat

>: gjlist-

>

>Your use of is subject to

_______________

Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com

September 1, 2002

Bravo, Carol!

Strong reply to those of the NIH (Not Invented Here, AKA Not My Job) genre.

As a manager, I always follow this credo:

"If it fails, it is my responsibility; if it works it is to my team's credit."

It has always served me well.

-- John M

*********** REPLY SEPARATOR ***********

On 9/1/02 at 8:25 PM fas fas wrote:

>Very beautiful story, well said and done, Carol. A lot to learn and

>apply

>these principles in life. I am a fresh learner about the science of Vedic

>Astrology and am very fortunate to be on this list learning from the

>learned

>people like yourself. Regards.... Amar Puri.

>

>>Carolhook

>>gjlist

>>Re: [GJ] Re: may i???

>>Sun, 01 Sep 2002 15:00:45 -0400

>>

>>Dear Tanha,

>>

>> You have been offered many different considerations from members of

>>this compassionate GJList. Now I noticed you are thinking vedic

>astrology

>>will be somewhat helpful to you, and at the same time I noticed that you

>>seemed to perfectly describe something in vedic astrology that I have

>been

>>studying this month, which is dosha, or the constitutional makeup of a

>>person which is mainly based upon the ascendant and 6th house and their

>>lords.

>>

>> The dosha or constitution you have described in your email, looks to

>>me like Vata dosha, or a wind constitution. There are remedies for this

>>dosha when it is out of balance.

>>

>> Rather than describe Vata in detail (as I am a beginner myself), I

>>think you might look into this and determine for yourself if you have an

>>excess of vata dosha and should use appropriate remedies (which your

>vedic

>>textbooks may offer) to bring about better balance and harmony in your

>>life.

>>

>> Please keep looking for the right answers, Tanha, and know you will

>>find them as you progress in your studies, for there is nothing that is

>not

>>revealed to the true seeker.

>>

>> I have a request also: You find such hypocrisy and many problems in

>>the world that disgust you...my request is for you to turn your back on

>>those problems that do not immediately touch you in your daily life (such

>>as news reports, etc.), and to bring about harmony within the small

>circle

>>of people you do touch every day, as best as you can. You will be the

>yeast

>>that leavens the bread in your own environment. Do you think we need

>>leaders who will bring joy to our world rather than so much dismay? Then

>>you must be the one to act and be a leader since you personally see the

>>need for positive action and restoration of balance. It is those who see

>>the need, who can bring about the best sort of change in their daily

>lives.

>>

>> Long ago I met a rabbi at a church service, of all places, and I told

>>him that the engineering company I worked for was disbanding and everyone

>>was being let go. He looked at me sharply and said,

>>"It's your fault!"

>>"My fault?" I reacted in amazement and disbelief.

>>"Yes, it's your fault that this is happening, because you could have

>>stopped it," he said.

>>"What do you mean, I could stop it? I am merely a drafter; drawing

>>blueprints on the computer; I am not the president, the vice-president,

>the

>>secretary, or anything, I own no stock in this small company, I am just a

>>worker there!"

>>

>>"You are the only person in the company who could stop it from closing,

>and

>>you are at fault for letting it get to the point where decent people have

>>been let go already so that they have to find new jobs to support their

>>families!"

>>

>> I was totally amazed and shocked at his stern words to me. How could I

>>have a thing to do with the downfall of a company I was grateful to be

>>working at, a company that provided sustenance for me and my 3 sons, a

>>company that had brought about the opportunity for us to climb out of

>>desperate poverty and had allowed me to work on wonderful projects that

>>would bring happiness and comfort to many people long after our work was

>>done....how could I, a learner, a mother, be responsible for the downfall

>>of this company, and furthermore, be the cause of its downfall, and ever

>>more, be the only one who could bring it back to life?????

>>

>> Well, I took the rabbi's words in and thought and thought deeply about

>>what he'd told me. If what he'd said was correct, then I alone had a

>>tremendous responsibility--to mend the direction of that company and make

>>it prosper. If what he'd said were true, I had to turn the company

>around,

>>myself, me, just a drafter!

>>

>> I decided then and there to stay in the company even though everyone

>>but the owners had been let go. I showed up to work even though they had

>no

>>money to pay their bills, let alone my own pay. I had 3 boys to support

>>(and wasn't getting court-ordered child support, either)and yet I had to

>>take the leap of faith that what I was told might be true: it might be my

>>own fault that the company had let everyone go, and that only I could

>bring

>>it back.

>>

>> I came to work and the vice pres was surprised to see me. I explained

>>to him,

>>"You still have follow-up drafting on already-completed projects, so I'm

>>here to do drafting, plus anything else I can do."

>>"We can't pay you," he said.

>>"I know, but God is watching over me and my children," I replied.

>>

>> He was amazed, but allowed me to stay that morning. Then the

>mechanical

>>engineer who'd taught me so much about engineering showed up, saying, "My

>>wife and I have a reserve fund that will sustain us for about 2 months,

>so

>>I am here to continue working here as long as our funds holds out."

>>

>> Now we had a pres, a vice-pres, a mechanical engineer, and me. The

>>pres's wife came in and was sorting through the paperwork, answering the

>>phone in place of the secretary who'd been let go. She looked downcast as

>>she set aside a stack of envelopes that were bills the company could not

>>pay.

>>

>> "What are you frowning for?" I asked the vice-pres. "Take those worry

>>lines off your face," I told him, "this is just a pause for us before we

>>get so much work you'll wish you could have this peaceful time again!"

>>"Wish that were true", he said, quietly.

>> "This company has too much going for it to die," I told the pres.

>> "Wish you'd tell my wife that," he replied with a sigh.

>>

>> Then I went to the front desk and spoke with Lynne, the pres's wife.

>> "I don't think this company deserves to die," I began, it has too

>much

>>going for it!"

>> "I agree with you," she responded.

>> "Lynne, look at our company that has done good work with all of its

>>people working in harmony together, and take a new company just starting

>>out. Which company has a better chance in the marketplace, a better

>chance

>>to win a bid for new work?"

>> "We do", I answered my own question,"because a company just

>starting

>>out doesn't have the resources we already have, hasn't worked out the

>>interaction with its own people and its clients, hasn't got years of

>>developed skills in engineering and using computers, and has no history

>of

>>successful projects behind it that we have! There is absolutely no

>reason

>>we can't continue to be successful; we have so much more going for us

>than

>>any other company starting out in business for the first time! There

>are

>>new projects to be worked on all the time; we are just having a break

>>period, a rest period, that's all, before we get so much work we won't

>have

>>any rest at all!"

>>

>> Okay, most of you might guess the rest of this story.

>>

>> I told everyone that on March 10 our fortunes would turn around so

>much

>>that it would be unbelievable how much work we'd have. It was January

>>already and they'd found enough money to pay me my salary the day after I

>>showed up, and vice pres had asked me to stay onboard. I rearranged and

>>clearly marked and re-ordered their file system so they could find

>>everything much more easily than before. I worked on drawings as needed.

>I

>>rolled up old drawings and catalogued them and put them in the archive

>>area. I cleaned up all the equipment, dusted it off, got ready for our

>new

>>work that would be coming in by March 10.

>>

>> Our pres. had put in a bid to work on a Disney project called

>>Carribbean Beach. It was a huge project that would go to a medium or

>large

>>engineering firm, not to a firm with only 5 people total. We had already

>>worked on other projects for Disney back when we were 15 people, and one

>of

>>the Disney resort projects had problems associated with it that were

>being

>>blamed on mechanical engineering, while we felt the architect and builder

>>had made the mistake leading to the problem. (Our mechanical engineer had

>>helped write the code requirements for Florida; he knew his engineering).

>> Well, the day came that our pres. was asked to come to Disney to

>talk

>>with the Disney project person. It was Monday, March 6, 1989 when this

>>conference took place. The Disney man had his ankles crossed up on the

>desk

>>while our boss sat in front, facing him. Leaning back with his arms

>behind

>>his head, the Disney man said to my boss,

>> "We understand you want to win this Caribbean Beach project but we want

>>to ask you to withdraw from the bidding because of the problem we had on

>>the last project. If you will withdraw now from the bidding, we will

>>promise not to sue you for the million dollars' problem, but if you

>decide

>>to remain in the bidding for this new project, I warn you now, we may

>come

>>after you!"

>>

>> My boss, wearing his goldtone Mickey Mouse wristwatch, said, "We do

>good

>>engineering, and we are not at fault in the problem you are referring to.

>I

>>have reviewed all of our work and find that the problem was caused by

>>others and not us. I am willing to stand by our work no matter what. I

>want

>>to remain in the bidding for the new project."

>>

>> Right then, the man took his feet off the desk.

>> "Good," he said, leaning forward, "because it has been decided to

>award

>>the new contract to you." They shook hands.

>>

>> My boss called us together to his office that afternoon.

>> "Well, folks," he said, "I don't know what to think. I was completely

>>dizzy after that meeting, it was both the worst day and the best possible

>>day all rolled up into one. It could be that we get this new contract,

>>which would be the biggest contract in our company'sn history, or we

>could

>>lose it. You never know how something will turn out until the thing is

>>done. Official contract document signing's not until Friday, folks, and

>>anything could happen between now and Friday."

>>

>> I finally spoke up.

>>"Coming events cast their shadows long before they are seen. We HAVE that

>>contract!"

>>

>> "Well, I sure hope so," said the pres., letting the 4 of us all

>return

>>to our respective office areas.

>>

>> As I filed out of his office, I asked, "What day is Friday? What

>>number day is it?"

>> "March 10", someone answered. The office was quiet and thoughtful.

>> On March 10, the contract was signed. We rehired many of our former

>>people, and started work that would continue for about 2 years.

>> The boss gave me, a drafter, a bonus check--for $1,000.00. Me, just

>a

>>draftsperson. He said it was,

>>"Because you held us all together."

>>

>> But how was it that I, a nobody, a mother, a draftsperson just

>>learning, could have any influence at all upon anything at all?

>>

>> I was a person whose life had turned upside down and it went all

>wrong.

>>So how could the rabbi be correct, and even more, how could my prediction

>>about March 10 be correct?

>>

>> I'd only picked that date because in the Tropical astrology system,

>>March 10 marked Jupiter's change of signs. For goodness' sake, I didn't

>>know what its change of signs meant, just that it meant a change, so I'd

>>stated it as the time when we'd have a positive change, and went with

>that.

>>

>> I didn't have anything else to go on but blind belief in the rabbi

>>who'd audaciously blamed everything on me and said I was the only one to

>>fix it!

>>

>> So who is this me person who I am? Nobody in particular, just someone

>>who has found that there is so much more to existence than i ever thought

>>there was, and we have much more creative resources to affect life than

>we

>>ever thought we could possibly have.

>> March 10, 1989 in vedic astrology might have meant nothing at all or

>>something special, I haven't researched it.

>>But it was the whole belief kindled in our hearts, expecting March 10 to

>>somehow be a day of our greatest turnaround, that caused something,

>>whatever it is, to make it happen.

>>

>> I think we are creative beings with our thinking. I think we can

>create

>>order where once there was chaos. I think and believe it's right to wish

>>for better circumstances and a better world situation. And I am convinced

>>we can bring healthy and beneficial change to our own lives.

>>

>> Concentrate on what is GOOD to do, and act on that. The next step

>will

>>follow naturally, so be ready to act on that next step and the ones that

>>follow.

>>

>> For the time being, do not concern yourself if there is a God or not

>a

>>God, Tanha, just act on what qualities God is said have: Goodness, life,

>>truth, principle, compassion, love, and any other quality you recognize

>as

>>a godly expression.

>>

>> Where you see lack, bring plenty. Where you see hypocrisy, bring

>truth.

>>Where you see sadness, gently bring joy, even if to say, it could be

>much,

>>much worse, so I am grateful for what I have and I will start with that.

>>Where you see artificial things and stagnation, bring nature's beauty and

>>purity and cause beneficial change. Where you see discouragement, bring

>>hope. When you are tempted to be cynical, wash your hands of cynicism and

>>apply them to doing something helpful right where you are; that's what

>you

>>should concentrate upon until you see yourself making something good in

>>place of what was not as good before you changed it.

>>

>> You have so much to do that you are able to do. You are at fault and

>>the cause of others' woes if you don't do these things, taught the rabbi.

>>Will you find time to write email and tell us of your upward progress?

>The

>>status quo is getting old, and you're ready to institute beneficial

>change

>>in your life. Go for it, Tanha.

>>

>> Love and best wishes to you,

>> Carol

>>

>>In a message dated Sun, 1 Sep 2002 3:31:46 AM Eastern Standard Time,

>>teli_sha2002 writes:

>>

>> > As a person I am

>> > > totally disinterested in life…..feel it to be

>> > > meaningless existence. See the world around and feel

>> > > disgusted by the hypocracy, self agendas etc. of the

>> > > people and start to question myself why should a

>> > > person live amidst all this. Try to reason out the

>> > > logic of existence and feel like walking out and

>> > > perhaps start meditating somewhere, but cannot , as I

>> > > have some responsibilities and cannot disown them. All

>> > > this makes me feel much more frustrated and I feel I

>> > > am forced to live a life which I don't want to. Feel

>> > > like tied down against my will. But then I think why

>> > > am I alive… it is coz of these responsibilities only

>> > > and how can I disown them. At times my heart cries but

>> > > I have to keep smiling. I feel hungry but don't feel

>> > > like eating. Feel totally totally disinterested. Now,

>> > > perhaps u would say pray!!!!! Here, today I am being

>> > > honest……..i stopped believing in god…..but no I have

>> > > not completely……..i have just stopped looking at him

>> > > when am in trouble………..the battle is mine , and I have

>> > > to fight it myself without his help. I am tempted to

>> > > move towards him only when I hear discourses while

>> > > channel surfing. I would say I am a totally confused

>> > > person and perhaps too myopic to notice my own faults.

>> > > Perhaps u learned lot from a distance ,could point out

>> > > my faults to me so that I may try to correct myself

>> > > and find some peace in life. Any frank

>> > > suggestions?????

>> > >

>> > > tanha

>>

>>Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya; Hare Krishna; Om Tat Sat

>>: gjlist-

>>

>>Your use of is subject to

>

>_______________

>Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com

>

>Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya; Hare Krishna; Om Tat Sat

>: gjlist-

>

>Your use of is subject to

Strange but stupid:

"One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero,

they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs"

(Weren't Roman C programs always 500 lines long?)

John F (Jack) Melka

September 2, 2002

Yeah, .......will certainly do, Carol.

It is not that i am going thru a crisis or major trouble......things

are apparently perfectly ok......but i am not happy...am not at peace.

Carol, u are really something....i hold u in awe.

I am also a fighter that is what others tell( though nothing in ur

comparision). If any job is difficult and has to be completed within

a time frame...i am picked up to implement it.....considered to be

good at my work(managerial).....yes ,i do it with involvement but

soon boredom sets in which eats me up...and i don't feel happy

anymore.

i am also a mother and manage my house and my duties( very tiring at

times).....though have been separated from my husband for years, he

just won't give me divorce.....keeps me involved legally one way or

the other.( perhaps sun and moon both placed in 12H aspecting 6H,

and me going thru their dashas is responsible for this).

When i wrote that mail the other day....i was just letting myself

loose and sharing my thoughts with u all. Then , later on ,i was

again surfing channels when i chanced upon a religious channel, which

was telecasting lord krishna's ceremony. I was attracted towards

it.....and i thought.....ok here is something i could try

out..........perhaps join ISKON temple( i dunno how to do that

anyways and don't know whether that would bring any peace as i still

don't have much faith in him), but then again another thought... how

would i manage my son, for whom i responsible as it is me who has

brought him on this earth...so, that mother in me holds me back.

consulted my doc.......he has doubled my dose....he says i'm thinking

on this course coz of depression.But hell no, i am not depressed...i

just feel empty.

Yes, i also percieve that there is going to be a change in my life

and would be pretty soon( dasha is going to change soon)wonder what

mars placed in 9H would bring( i hope a little bit of peace...,

but how could that be!!!! mars is a fiery planet so may be i would

become a leader........he he).

Thanks for ur wishes. I was wondering whether i would be really

understood or not.....Coz a lot depends on interpratations and

offcourse cultural influences on the same.

tanha

gjlist, Carolhook@a... wrote:

> Dear Tanha,

>

> You have been offered many different considerations from

members of this compassionate GJList. Now I noticed you are thinking

vedic astrology will be somewhat helpful to you, and at the same time

I noticed that you seemed to perfectly describe something in vedic

astrology that I have been studying this month, which is dosha, or

the constitutional makeup of a person which is mainly based upon the

ascendant and 6th house and their lords.

>

> The dosha or constitution you have described in your email,

looks to me like Vata dosha, or a wind constitution. There are

remedies for this dosha when it is out of balance.

>

> Rather than describe Vata in detail (as I am a beginner

myself), I think you might look into this and determine for yourself

if you have an excess of vata dosha and should use appropriate

remedies (which your vedic textbooks may offer) to bring about better

balance and harmony in your life.

>

> Please keep looking for the right answers, Tanha, and know you

will find them as you progress in your studies, for there is nothing

that is not revealed to the true seeker.

>

> I have a request also: You find such hypocrisy and many

problems in the world that disgust you...my request is for you to

turn your back on those problems that do not immediately touch you in

your daily life (such as news reports, etc.), and to bring about

harmony within the small circle of people you do touch every day, as

best as you can. You will be the yeast that leavens the bread in your

own environment. Do you think we need leaders who will bring joy to

our world rather than so much dismay? Then you must be the one to act

and be a leader since you personally see the need for positive action

and restoration of balance. It is those who see the need, who can

bring about the best sort of change in their daily lives.

>

> Long ago I met a rabbi at a church service, of all places, and I

told him that the engineering company I worked for was disbanding and

everyone was being let go. He looked at me sharply and said,

> "It's your fault!"

> "My fault?" I reacted in amazement and disbelief.

> "Yes, it's your fault that this is happening, because you could

have stopped it," he said.

> "What do you mean, I could stop it? I am merely a drafter; drawing

blueprints on the computer; I am not the president, the vice-

president, the secretary, or anything, I own no stock in this small

company, I am just a worker there!"

>

> "You are the only person in the company who could stop it from

closing, and you are at fault for letting it get to the point where

decent people have been let go already so that they have to find new

jobs to support their families!"

>

> I was totally amazed and shocked at his stern words to me. How

could I have a thing to do with the downfall of a company I was

grateful to be working at, a company that provided sustenance for me

and my 3 sons, a company that had brought about the opportunity for

us to climb out of desperate poverty and had allowed me to work on

wonderful projects that would bring happiness and comfort to many

people long after our work was done....how could I, a learner, a

mother, be responsible for the downfall of this company, and

furthermore, be the cause of its downfall, and ever more, be the only

one who could bring it back to life?????

>

> Well, I took the rabbi's words in and thought and thought deeply

about what he'd told me. If what he'd said was correct, then I alone

had a tremendous responsibility--to mend the direction of that

company and make it prosper. If what he'd said were true, I had to

turn the company around, myself, me, just a drafter!

>

> I decided then and there to stay in the company even though

everyone but the owners had been let go. I showed up to work even

though they had no money to pay their bills, let alone my own pay. I

had 3 boys to support (and wasn't getting court-ordered child

support, either)and yet I had to take the leap of faith that what I

was told might be true: it might be my own fault that the company had

let everyone go, and that only I could bring it back.

>

> I came to work and the vice pres was surprised to see me. I

explained to him,

> "You still have follow-up drafting on already-completed projects,

so I'm here to do drafting, plus anything else I can do."

> "We can't pay you," he said.

> "I know, but God is watching over me and my children," I replied.

>

> He was amazed, but allowed me to stay that morning. Then the

mechanical engineer who'd taught me so much about engineering showed

up, saying, "My wife and I have a reserve fund that will sustain us

for about 2 months, so I am here to continue working here as long as

our funds holds out."

>

> Now we had a pres, a vice-pres, a mechanical engineer, and me.

The pres's wife came in and was sorting through the paperwork,

answering the phone in place of the secretary who'd been let go. She

looked downcast as she set aside a stack of envelopes that were bills

the company could not pay.

>

> "What are you frowning for?" I asked the vice-pres. "Take those

worry lines off your face," I told him, "this is just a pause for us

before we get so much work you'll wish you could have this peaceful

time again!"

> "Wish that were true", he said, quietly.

> "This company has too much going for it to die," I told the

pres.

> "Wish you'd tell my wife that," he replied with a sigh.

>

> Then I went to the front desk and spoke with Lynne, the pres's

wife.

> "I don't think this company deserves to die," I began, it has

too much going for it!"

> "I agree with you," she responded.

> "Lynne, look at our company that has done good work with all of

its people working in harmony together, and take a new company just

starting out. Which company has a better chance in the marketplace, a

better chance to win a bid for new work?"

> "We do", I answered my own question,"because a company just

starting out doesn't have the resources we already have, hasn't

worked out the interaction with its own people and its clients,

hasn't got years of developed skills in engineering and using

computers, and has no history of successful projects behind it that

we have! There is absolutely no reason we can't continue to be

successful; we have so much more going for us than any other company

starting out in business for the first time! There are new

projects to be worked on all the time; we are just having a break

period, a rest period, that's all, before we get so much work we

won't have any rest at all!"

>

> Okay, most of you might guess the rest of this story.

>

> I told everyone that on March 10 our fortunes would turn around

so much that it would be unbelievable how much work we'd have. It was

January already and they'd found enough money to pay me my salary the

day after I showed up, and vice pres had asked me to stay onboard. I

rearranged and clearly marked and re-ordered their file system so

they could find everything much more easily than before. I worked on

drawings as needed. I rolled up old drawings and catalogued them and

put them in the archive area. I cleaned up all the equipment, dusted

it off, got ready for our new work that would be coming in by March

10.

>

> Our pres. had put in a bid to work on a Disney project called

Carribbean Beach. It was a huge project that would go to a medium or

large engineering firm, not to a firm with only 5 people total. We

had already worked on other projects for Disney back when we were 15

people, and one of the Disney resort projects had problems associated

with it that were being blamed on mechanical engineering, while we

felt the architect and builder had made the mistake leading to the

problem. (Our mechanical engineer had helped write the code

requirements for Florida; he knew his engineering).

> Well, the day came that our pres. was asked to come to Disney

to talk with the Disney project person. It was Monday, March 6, 1989

when this conference took place. The Disney man had his ankles

crossed up on the desk while our boss sat in front, facing him.

Leaning back with his arms behind his head, the Disney man said to my

boss,

> "We understand you want to win this Caribbean Beach project but we

want to ask you to withdraw from the bidding because of the problem

we had on the last project. If you will withdraw now from the

bidding, we will promise not to sue you for the million dollars'

problem, but if you decide to remain in the bidding for this new

project, I warn you now, we may come after you!"

>

> My boss, wearing his goldtone Mickey Mouse wristwatch, said, "We

do good engineering, and we are not at fault in the problem you are

referring to. I have reviewed all of our work and find that the

problem was caused by others and not us. I am willing to stand by our

work no matter what. I want to remain in the bidding for the new

project."

>

> Right then, the man took his feet off the desk.

> "Good," he said, leaning forward, "because it has been decided

to award the new contract to you." They shook hands.

>

> My boss called us together to his office that afternoon.

> "Well, folks," he said, "I don't know what to think. I was

completely dizzy after that meeting, it was both the worst day and

the best possible day all rolled up into one. It could be that we get

this new contract, which would be the biggest contract in our

company'sn history, or we could lose it. You never know how

something will turn out until the thing is done. Official contract

document signing's not until Friday, folks, and anything could happen

between now and Friday."

>

> I finally spoke up.

> "Coming events cast their shadows long before they are seen. We

HAVE that contract!"

>

> "Well, I sure hope so," said the pres., letting the 4 of us all

return to our respective office areas.

>

> As I filed out of his office, I asked, "What day is Friday?

What number day is it?"

> "March 10", someone answered. The office was quiet and

thoughtful.

> On March 10, the contract was signed. We rehired many of our

former people, and started work that would continue for about 2

years.

> The boss gave me, a drafter, a bonus check--for $1,000.00. Me,

just a draftsperson. He said it was,

> "Because you held us all together."

>

> But how was it that I, a nobody, a mother, a draftsperson just

learning, could have any influence at all upon anything at all?

>

> I was a person whose life had turned upside down and it went all

wrong. So how could the rabbi be correct, and even more, how could my

prediction about March 10 be correct?

>

> I'd only picked that date because in the Tropical astrology

system, March 10 marked Jupiter's change of signs. For goodness'

sake, I didn't know what its change of signs meant, just that it

meant a change, so I'd stated it as the time when we'd have a

positive change, and went with that.

>

> I didn't have anything else to go on but blind belief in the

rabbi who'd audaciously blamed everything on me and said I was the

only one to fix it!

>

> So who is this me person who I am? Nobody in particular, just

someone who has found that there is so much more to existence than i

ever thought there was, and we have much more creative resources to

affect life than we ever thought we could possibly have.

> March 10, 1989 in vedic astrology might have meant nothing at all

or something special, I haven't researched it.

> But it was the whole belief kindled in our hearts, expecting March

10 to somehow be a day of our greatest turnaround, that caused

something, whatever it is, to make it happen.

>

> I think we are creative beings with our thinking. I think we can

create order where once there was chaos. I think and believe it's

right to wish for better circumstances and a better world situation.

And I am convinced we can bring healthy and beneficial change to our

own lives.

>

> Concentrate on what is GOOD to do, and act on that. The next

step will follow naturally, so be ready to act on that next step and

the ones that follow.

>

> For the time being, do not concern yourself if there is a God or

not a God, Tanha, just act on what qualities God is said have:

Goodness, life, truth, principle, compassion, love, and any other

quality you recognize as a godly expression.

>

> Where you see lack, bring plenty. Where you see hypocrisy, bring

truth. Where you see sadness, gently bring joy, even if to say, it

could be much, much worse, so I am grateful for what I have and I

will start with that. Where you see artificial things and stagnation,

bring nature's beauty and purity and cause beneficial change. Where

you see discouragement, bring hope. When you are tempted to be

cynical, wash your hands of cynicism and apply them to doing

something helpful right where you are; that's what you should

concentrate upon until you see yourself making something good in

place of what was not as good before you changed it.

>

> You have so much to do that you are able to do. You are at fault

and the cause of others' woes if you don't do these things, taught

the rabbi. Will you find time to write email and tell us of your

upward progress? The status quo is getting old, and you're ready to

institute beneficial change in your life. Go for it, Tanha.

>

> Love and best wishes to you,

> Carol

>

> In a message dated Sun, 1 Sep 2002 3:31:46 AM Eastern Standard

Time, teli_sha2002 writes:

>

> > As a person I am

> > > totally disinterested in life…..feel it to be

> > > meaningless existence. See the world around and feel

> > > disgusted by the hypocracy, self agendas etc. of the

> > > people and start to question myself why should a

> > > person live amidst all this. Try to reason out the

> > > logic of existence and feel like walking out and

> > > perhaps start meditating somewhere, but cannot , as I

> > > have some responsibilities and cannot disown them. All

> > > this makes me feel much more frustrated and I feel I

> > > am forced to live a life which I don't want to. Feel

> > > like tied down against my will. But then I think why

> > > am I alive… it is coz of these responsibilities only

> > > and how can I disown them. At times my heart cries but

> > > I have to keep smiling. I feel hungry but don't feel

> > > like eating. Feel totally totally disinterested. Now,

> > > perhaps u would say pray!!!!! Here, today I am being

> > > honest……..i stopped believing in god…..but no I have

> > > not completely……..i have just stopped looking at him

> > > when am in trouble………..the battle is mine , and I have

> > > to fight it myself without his help. I am tempted to

> > > move towards him only when I hear discourses while

> > > channel surfing. I would say I am a totally confused

> > > person and perhaps too myopic to notice my own faults.

> > > Perhaps u learned lot from a distance ,could point out

> > > my faults to me so that I may try to correct myself

> > > and find some peace in life. Any frank

> > > suggestions?????

> > >

> > > tanha

September 2, 2002

hi tanha,

i too have mars in my 9 th house . in my case it is

lord of 8 house (virgo lagna)

i m undergoing its dasha rahu -mars.

nothing is that bad. it gave a new circle of friends

,religious connections, foreign connections(aspecting

12).

don't join any religious org. ,let him come to u

.....& for that u need to call him . just call him from

core of ur pure heeart,he will definitely show u the

right path.

prashant

--- good_fast_learner <good_fast_learner

wrote:

> Yeah, .......will certainly do, Carol.

>

> It is not that i am going thru a crisis or major

> trouble......things

> are apparently perfectly ok......but i am not

> happy...am not at peace.

>

> Carol, u are really something....i hold u in awe.

> I am also a fighter that is what others tell( though

> nothing in ur

> comparision). If any job is difficult and has to be

> completed within

> a time frame...i am picked up to implement

> it.....considered to be

> good at my work(managerial).....yes ,i do it with

> involvement but

> soon boredom sets in which eats me up...and i don't

> feel happy

> anymore.

>

> i am also a mother and manage my house and my

> duties( very tiring at

> times).....though have been separated from my

> husband for years, he

> just won't give me divorce.....keeps me involved

> legally one way or

> the other.( perhaps sun and moon both placed in 12H

> aspecting 6H,

> and me going thru their dashas is responsible for

> this).

>

> When i wrote that mail the other day....i was just

> letting myself

> loose and sharing my thoughts with u all. Then ,

> later on ,i was

> again surfing channels when i chanced upon a

> religious channel, which

> was telecasting lord krishna's ceremony. I was

> attracted towards

> it.....and i thought.....ok here is something i

> could try

> out..........perhaps join ISKON temple( i dunno how

> to do that

> anyways and don't know whether that would bring any

> peace as i still

> don't have much faith in him), but then again

> another thought... how

> would i manage my son, for whom i responsible as it

> is me who has

> brought him on this earth...so, that mother in me

> holds me back.

>

> consulted my doc.......he has doubled my dose....he

> says i'm thinking

> on this course coz of depression.But hell no, i am

> not depressed...i

> just feel empty.

>

> Yes, i also percieve that there is going to be a

> change in my life

> and would be pretty soon( dasha is going to change

> soon)wonder what

> mars placed in 9H would bring( i hope a little bit

> of peace...,

> but how could that be!!!! mars is a fiery planet so

> may be i would

> become a leader........he he).

>

> Thanks for ur wishes. I was wondering whether i

> would be really

> understood or not.....Coz a lot depends on

> interpratations and

> offcourse cultural influences on the same.

>

> tanha

>

> gjlist, Carolhook@a... wrote:

> > Dear Tanha,

> >

> > You have been offered many different

> considerations from

> members of this compassionate GJList. Now I noticed

> you are thinking

> vedic astrology will be somewhat helpful to you, and

> at the same time

> I noticed that you seemed to perfectly describe

> something in vedic

> astrology that I have been studying this month,

> which is dosha, or

> the constitutional makeup of a person which is

> mainly based upon the

> ascendant and 6th house and their lords.

> >

> > The dosha or constitution you have described

> in your email,

> looks to me like Vata dosha, or a wind constitution.

> There are

> remedies for this dosha when it is out of balance.

> >

> > Rather than describe Vata in detail (as I am a

> beginner

> myself), I think you might look into this and

> determine for yourself

> if you have an excess of vata dosha and should use

> appropriate

> remedies (which your vedic textbooks may offer) to

> bring about better

> balance and harmony in your life.

> >

> > Please keep looking for the right answers,

> Tanha, and know you

> will find them as you progress in your studies, for

> there is nothing

> that is not revealed to the true seeker.

> >

> > I have a request also: You find such hypocrisy

> and many

> problems in the world that disgust you...my request

> is for you to

> turn your back on those problems that do not

> immediately touch you in

> your daily life (such as news reports, etc.), and to

> bring about

> harmony within the small circle of people you do

> touch every day, as

> best as you can. You will be the yeast that leavens

> the bread in your

> own environment. Do you think we need leaders who

> will bring joy to

> our world rather than so much dismay? Then you must

> be the one to act

> and be a leader since you personally see the need

> for positive action

> and restoration of balance. It is those who see the

> need, who can

> bring about the best sort of change in their daily

> lives.

> >

> > Long ago I met a rabbi at a church service, of

> all places, and I

> told him that the engineering company I worked for

> was disbanding and

> everyone was being let go. He looked at me sharply

> and said,

> > "It's your fault!"

> > "My fault?" I reacted in amazement and disbelief.

>

> > "Yes, it's your fault that this is happening,

> because you could

> have stopped it," he said.

> > "What do you mean, I could stop it? I am merely a

> drafter; drawing

> blueprints on the computer; I am not the president,

> the vice-

> president, the secretary, or anything, I own no

> stock in this small

> company, I am just a worker there!"

> >

> > "You are the only person in the company who could

> stop it from

> closing, and you are at fault for letting it get to

> the point where

> decent people have been let go already so that they

> have to find new

> jobs to support their families!"

> >

> > I was totally amazed and shocked at his stern

> words to me. How

> could I have a thing to do with the downfall of a

> company I was

> grateful to be working at, a company that provided

> sustenance for me

> and my 3 sons, a company that had brought about the

> opportunity for

> us to climb out of desperate poverty and had allowed

> me to work on

> wonderful projects that would bring happiness and

> comfort to many

> people long after our work was done....how could I,

> a learner, a

> mother, be responsible for the downfall of this

> company, and

> furthermore, be the cause of its downfall, and ever

> more, be the only

> one who could bring it back to life?????

> >

> > Well, I took the rabbi's words in and thought

> and thought deeply

> about what he'd told me. If what he'd said was

> correct, then I alone

> had a tremendous responsibility--to mend the

> direction of that

> company and make it prosper. If what he'd said were

> true, I had to

> turn the company around, myself, me, just a drafter!

> >

> > I decided then and there to stay in the company

> even though

> everyone but the owners had been let go. I showed up

> to work even

> though they had no money to pay their bills, let

> alone

=== message truncated ===

Finance - Get real-time stock quotes

http://finance.

September 3, 2002

Yes, i also percieve that there is going to be a change in my life

and would be pretty soon( dasha is going to change soon)wonder what

mars placed in 9H would bring

Dear Tanha,

Please do not hold me "in awe" for I have traveled on this earth long enough

to look back at my life and describe some life adventures that have shaped my

thinking...you'll be able to do that, too...when you get a number of years

behind you, too.

Right now, Jupiter on my asc. gives me a chance to bring out some of the

better stories so I can illustrate that is possible to overcome what appear to

be solid roadblocks, without bringing you down with a list of many adversities

that happened to me, too.

Nobody is spared, believe me. In my religious upbringing I read, "God

chastens whom He loves." If there ever was an annoying quote, that's it!

It means that we are like cold steel ready to be tempered. Steel that is

heated to white-hot stage in a fiery forge, then hammered repeatedly on an

anvil, with flakes of steel flying off from the body of the piece every time

the hammer strikes it.

That's how our personalities are tempered by life; we lose the outer form of

our earlier personality while being changed by life circumstances.

After multiple re-heats to white hot or red hot in the fire and subsequent

hammerings back on the anvil, the forged and drawn out steel that used to be

brittle and boringly formless becomes something..........useful....and pleasing

to the blacksmith's eye.......... and then, satisfied with his work, he plunges

the entire piece into a barrel of cold water as a final shock that makes the

steel more resilient than it ever was. Give a body a break! This is pretty

rough treatment.

Been there, done that, Tanha.

Your child needs YOU, Tanha, not somebody else. Will you, a self-described

fighter, fight to make your child's life a happier one, or does self-interest

greatly enjoy obscuring your real self?

You have just a few more years to bring as many happy memories as you can

to your child. Start today, young lady, to do for your child what you wished

your mother had done for you, and do much more than that. You have an

imagination, use it to think up creative outings with your child.

The responsibility you have is to be a mother who is involved in her

child's life. Your time to be a baby is over. Now you have to act the part of

an adult.

Love,

Carol

may i???

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