Re Laxmi & Shiva, and re my ethnicity trip

[Guest guest]

Lynn, I loved your letter. It sounds so YOU. Excellent. I am happy to see

that you could stand up and be clear like that. Bravo.

 

Dinanath, I love you too buddy, but maybe you need to grow up a bit dude. It

is good to be humble and find one's true level. Everyone has to. We all had

to. Lynn/Laxmi had to. Hansadutta had to. I had to. You have to.

 

I know Hans and Lynn, you would not BELIEVE what they've done and been

through and yet I was just at their house, Prabhupada everywhere, DIVINE

children, hosting a seminar, totally giving, serving, loving... Lynn worked

Hard for all of us, she was the Moon, and she is not rich, not a hot babe,

just an excellent person, a very good person. I really stand next to her and

say, Lynn is an excellent person. I have known her for over 20 years.

 

And what she said about Hansadutta, true, all true. I was so close to him. I

just saw him recently, at the conference, though true, he has NOTHING to do

with any of this. To insult him is wrong. That man, whatever he did wrong,

also did SO MUCH correct. He used his life up for Krishna, and still is. To

insult him is a mistake.

 

--------------------------------

 

 

Shiva, you are clear. Very clear. I love it. I am not that clear.

 

I am EXTREMELY happy with all you said, to the list, about companies,

endevours, groups, about Sanjay, both the good and the remark about

reviewing Dinas chart in public, all of it. I THANK YOU profusely for your

well trained clarity. You brought simple common sense to the list today. I

THANK YOU FOR SPEAKING !!!!

 

 

Why do I talk so much of ethnicity:

 

True, it's meaningless. I agree. In the ways that we, the world, has/have

abandoned this trip/study/knowledge/way of seeing, for so long now, I fully

agree with that. In that mood, when I became a Hindu, and they gave me

"Brahmin Diksha", I thought to myself, "this is right, I am that".

 

However, as time went on, I could not keep up the principles supposedly I

vowed to keep. I am very honest, so I told my wife and friends of my

lifestyle changes, which included "illicit sex" and "intoxicaton" as the HK

movement labels love and herb.

 

I was rejected. I was seen as less than human. I eventually lost a wife,

then my kids, my friends, everything. Others were the same as me exactly,

many, but simply not as honest.

 

I plunged into the depths of despair eventually, only to recently rise by

realizing that I have a history separate from white trash and India. I am

something called a Celt, and in revival of this knowledge I am finding

strength. The strength and humor I show is not easy for me at all. I still

cry over these matters, the losses, the bad relationships, the many friends

I never talk to. I love and hate Hare Krishna temples.

 

So you see, there has been a huge tragedy in my life. The same goes for

Hansadutta. Our movement has no way of dealing with our realities. Either we

join it fully, or we die. Funny, once Hansadutta told me "Our movement is

like the mafia, you can join, but you can't quit, and if you do, we kill

you".

 

This was when we were BOTH in it really strongly together. We both had to

eat this one big time.

 

So, I am getting strength in the resurrection of my own cultural identity.

Also, you must know, I watched my family suffer alot, at the hands of the

more powerful, who are almost always not Irish. Irish are like blacks, it's

sortof just accepted that you can walk on them. It's been going on forever.

You see, this is how some races feel.

 

For me, there's alot of healing still going on. I'm experiencing great

strength again by having a body with an identity, and defending people as

good the way they are now, which I used to not do. I turned on my family the

way the world turned on the Irish famine, the Somalia famine, etc. I turned

away, and now I've turned back. It's all very hard. Hare Krishna was a

wonderful sidetrack, but it couldn't heal my immense inner pain. It took an

Irish woman and an Irish counselor, recognizing that my problem was there. I

feel SOOOO much better now. A few months ago I wanted to slash my wrists.

 

It's a part of my heeling. It really is. I am becoming happy and proud again

to be who I am. It's very important. That's why I'm so against judgement. It

nearly killed me. And it has killed many, many good people.

 

---------------------

 

 

 

 

 

 

Das Goravani, President

 

2852 Willamette St, #353

Eugene, OR, 97405, USA-America

Voice: or in America

fax: 541-343-0344

 

 

http://www.DancingMoonInc.com

[Guest guest]

Sri. Das,

 

> Shiva, you are clear. Very clear. I love it. I am not that clear.

>

> I am EXTREMELY happy with all you said, to the list, about

companies,

> endevours, groups, about Sanjay, both the good and the remark about

> reviewing Dinas chart in public, all of it. I THANK YOU profusely

for your

> well trained clarity. You brought simple common sense to the list

today. I

> THANK YOU FOR SPEAKING !!!!

................

 

Wow! You made my day!

 

 

> Why do I talk so much of ethnicity:

> .....

> .....

> I plunged into the depths of despair eventually, only to recently

rise by

> realizing that I have a history separate from white trash and

India. I am

> something called a Celt, and in revival of this knowledge I am

finding

> strength. The strength and humor I show is not easy for me at all.

I still

> cry over these matters, the losses, the bad relationships, the many

friends

> I never talk to. I love and hate Hare Krishna temples.

> ....

> ....

> For me, there's alot of healing still going on. I'm experiencing

great

> strength again by having a body with an identity, and defending

people as

> good the way they are now, which I used to not do. I turned on my

family the

> way the world turned on the Irish famine, the Somalia famine, etc.

I turned

> away, and now I've turned back. It's all very hard. Hare Krishna

was a

> wonderful sidetrack, but it couldn't heal my immense inner pain. It

took an

> Irish woman and an Irish counselor, recognizing that my problem was

there. I

> feel SOOOO much better now. A few months ago I wanted to slash my

wrists.

>

> It's a part of my heeling. It really is. I am becoming happy and

proud again

> to be who I am. It's very important. That's why I'm so against

judgement. It

> nearly killed me. And it has killed many, many good people.

>

> ---------------------

 

You seem to be a very intense person. Obviously have been through a

lot - emotionally, spiritually and philosophically. I dont know

whether it is a blessing or a curse. Only out of a hot oven comes

tasy food. People without intense experiences cannot fully understand

life, imho. Happy go lucky people may lack some of the realizations

that you may have.

 

I am just in my mid 20s and so far never experienced such intense

feelings / experiences that you have went through. Apart from

occasional mood swings, feeling of a vaccum in my heart, and

inclination to spirituality, I cannot claim any rigorous

spiritual/lifestyle experience. So I am not very sure that I fully

understand you, but somehow I get what you are saying.

 

Really glad to know that you are getting stronger everyday and if

seeing things from a cultural/ethnic point suits your thought process

now, who am i to complain? . You are very honest in your opinion

and speak your mind and try to be non judgemental and sincerely try

to love everybody. I hope I can achieve that.

 

BTW, I downloaded a demo of your software, great job. Too much

features and kind of overwhelmed me initially, but got used to it

after a while.

 

regards,

-Siva.