Guest guest Posted August 3, 2003 Report Share Posted August 3, 2003 Quote to me from list member: I know you are probably not well or back up to full speed and don't really need this, but I haven't got a living soul I can talk to and I thought you may understand. I'm serious, I just can't stop crying. This study of Astrology has affected me more than I could ever imagine. If it's too hot, get out of the kitchen!!, but I can't turn back now and don't know how to go forward. The more I learn the more isolated I become. I see such loss and pain in charts that I just can't cope.The average westerner has no concept, what to say of 'professionals', so what's the use?. Easterner's give the standard 'detach' monologue, which I know is intellectually sound and correct but emotionally I am greiving. Right now, this understanding I have received has taken everything I love and hold dear. It has taken any small scrap of joy I could otherwise experience in the mundane. I don't have the energy to expand but am hoping you get my drift. If you have any advice on offer I would surely appreciate it. This sadness just won't lift. ---- Das's reply Sounds OH SO familiar. I could have written this awhile back: I have stopped heavy study of astrology, for as to solve my deep and long depression and sadness, I have taken to other things, such as finding friends, finding love and sex, finding other activities which do not glue me in front of a computer. For me, everything brightens when I have sex. This I think is because the "togetherness" that happens, is the ultimate in "I'm with you", and gives me therefore the ultimate feeling of NOT being alone, which kills the fear, which gives the courage to go on. That's my best solution. Am I finding ann? No not really, therefore I cry all the time as well, usually every night for a couple hours. Often I seek help, but my family and friends are very tired of me. I have to move on to new friends for fresh crying fields. I made a trip to the Bay Area, as I was invited here by some older Hindu Gentlemen friends who are giving me a nice car because they love me. They own and run a number of large hotels, but struggle TREMENDOUSLY since 911 and are losing alot. It's scary for them. I still cry. I still have no woman to hug and kiss and make love with. So I still cry. I also cry because I feel I'm at the verge of something big for myself, when all these years of pain due to the screwed up way humans are being with each other, by not being with each other, that I 'm going to find that missino in life that eludes me still, which I know has to do with Hinduism, Celtism, and the merging of the two. For example, I got this idea last night: Translate the best Hindu mantras, such as praying to Durga for a wife, into GAELIC and replace Durga with Rosemerta or Brigit, etc. and circulate those, bring the white people back to their own pagain roots. I have permission from my long dead Druid ancestors to allow the Hindus to revitalize our Druidism, where they say from their whispers and pages "the brahmins are the closest things on Earth to us, the ancient Druids". This is very clear. So I may go about that work now. Seems like a very good idea. Meanwhile, I still seek a woman who has the guts to be with me, likes sex, isn't way older than me, and does weight twice as much as me. Now this may be an odd answer to some, to the above plight, but I don't think so. Reason: No bullshit. Pure truth. No lieing. 2nd: The fact is, we need a mission in life. We need to be doing some service which motivates us, gives us reason to live, and gets our mind off our own problems and privations. THat's a FACT. I'm showing the way, as one who fights extreme depressed crying DAILY FOR YEARS. I'm off meds, off Lithium and Lexapro, off pot and tobacco, facing life's raw edges AS IT IS. So I'm talking through a drugged up deluded blurr. This is for real. Why don't people get together and screw and yell, and talk, and eat, and excercise and worship....than staying in their little huts crying alone? Remember I asked Bay Area people to call me, well guess what, only ONE DID, and she's my die-hard old friend Sabine who FOR SURE is going to call me if I'm anywhere near SF and she finds out. That'a a no brainer. We're very good friends. But NOBODY ELSE called me, not a one. By the way, you know my various requests to this list, they never do a THING. The one's about girlfriends, or bright ideas, or whatever, they never result in anything. Just like, in the past I had bright ideas about astrology, research, etc., well there were a few responses of enthusiam, but nobody with money to fund anything, unless they simply were taking my business away from me. Whatever planet I'm from, I think it's Brhaspati-Loka or Vaikuntha, well the principles they have there of devoted caring and fun working towards high causes, caring for others, free love, laughing, openness, etc., are not to be found here, and it took me 43 years to figure that out, or, in living in 27 different countries and typing voracioulsy on the internet is just not found it yet. Maybe I should try South America, Puerto Rico, or Jamaica, three I haven't tried yet. I see ads for going on trips to Mexico, planned vacations, to see the prostitues, where "you can have all your dreams fulfilled". Maybe thats the only way for an interesting, usually somewhat wealthy, supposedly very handsome, guy to get sex. Perhaps that's the ironic truth. Yesterday I was told that perhaps I should dress and do my hair like "NORMAL", so achieve sex. So that's probably it. If I want the denizens of this stupid planet and age to like me I have to become one of them. Lately I wear Celtic painted clothing. I guess that scares off the stupified whites, depite it being their own to half of them. My advice to our crying friend: I hardly have any as you can see. I do agree that seeing all the pain in people's charts will drive you mad. Engaging with them and delivering to them their pain and pleasure is probably much better. In other words, get out of your head and join the Lila, which is all it seems to be more or less. For example, I watch the transits sometimes, noting especially the Moon and ascendent, the two speed demons (fastest bodies). They tell all on a daily basis for me. Yesterday I noted at one point the moon was exactly 8th from my moon and when the ascendent crossed it I know there would be dealings with debts, loss of money, thoughts of sex, etc. These things are indicated. It all happended exactly. Right at that moment a guy called to cancel a software order, which are already too few these days....loss of money, etc., and a friend drove me by a good whore house, just to show it to me, so that was on the mind.... So there's nothing secret or unrevealed if you know Jyotish. Which proves we live in a clock, and are stuck on the hands. But there's no fun in knowing that exactly, it doesn't change that we must still engage, but however, it can give us some relief knowing it's all planned, and as each thing comes, so it will go, and another thing will come, but shaking up the life is essential when stagnant, and crying is a wasting of energy which is almost ripe, almost to the point of giving us strength, it's the tears that waters tommorows harvest, but if we can keep them in, and allow them to expand without release, it creates energy in the head, which will push up the plants of spring of a new day. \\\\ Thing, why am I angry or sad, what is driving this, if I'm honest, what do I want. My self, I want way more activity with GOOD people, who are doing something to imrove and change culture, help others on large scale, I want to be very very busy and know ALOT of people and have ALOT of sex, like every day. That's what I want. I want to be Hanuman, fighting wars for Good Gods, and having lots of monkey wives who don't bother putting on underwear because they'll just have to take it off again so soon anyway. So hows that sound? By the way, I know I'm a. Not normal, so don't bother telling me so b. Not really from this planet, so don't feel good or bad if you're not like me c. Telling the gods honest truth of what I feel without apology, so don't bother telling me so d. probably not going to get any of what I want soon eough to stop MY tears, so don't rub it in These are jokes, as I don't know how to end this. Take care, happy journeying down the worm hole of what we call "modern times" roik who cares mach'ai Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2003 Report Share Posted August 3, 2003 Aha, so i'm not the only person in the world that feels this way. I do have a request for advice on how to deal with similar situations to what is described below. You see, i'm alone too. I've been this way for quite some time. I study astrology, and have seen its work in my life, and many others as well. If I didn't study astrology, I think I would've ended up in an asylum by now. I just can't deal with people who are so attached to false ideas, and false hopes of happiness. My mother and sister (who is very psychic), are the only ones in my family, perhaps of anyone, that I can relate to. This is because they are very spiritual also. But their spirituality is more of a modern new-agish type. It's more along the lines of "you create your own reality"(which i believe is true to an extent), and you are here to enjoy life to the fullest. But i'm just not seeing it that way. I believe we are not here to create our own reality, but to learn to accept the ultimate underlying reality that we must all eventually surrender to. And the acceptance of this reality is sometimes a gutwrenching experience. But at least Jyotish has helped show me there is a purpose behind all this, and has given me the patience to accept hard times when they come. But most new-agers i've come across don't seem to look at it that way. They think the purpose of spirituality is to completely avoid all those difficult times that are a necessary part of our growth. Well, at least that's how I feel, right or wrong. So I don't get along with most soft hearted new-agers, and at the same time, I cannot cope for one moment being with normal, mundane people. It's horrible for dating too. In fact it sickens me sometimes, trying to date someone and here I am, trying to pretend to be interested about anything going on here on planet Earth. I'm screwed. The only thing that even comes close to helping me is meditation, prayer, faith, patience, studying Jyotish, and the occasional case of beer along with a crying session. I don't know why I'm typing all this. I guess I just saw a couple of quotes from 2 people who seem to suffer, and perceive suffering in others the same way I do, and figured maybe it would be a nice gesture to let them know they're not the only ones in this boat. At least it made me feel good knowing that i'm not really alone here. i'm sure brighter days will come Sincerely seekingliberation(@) > Quote to me from list member: > > I know you are probably not well or back up to full speed and don't really > need this, but I haven't got a living soul I can talk to and I thought you > may understand. > I'm serious, I just can't stop crying. > This study of Astrology has affected me more than I could ever imagine. > If it's too hot, get out of the kitchen!!, but I can't turn back now and > don't know how to go forward. The more I learn the more isolated I become. I > see such loss and pain in charts that I just can't cope.The average > westerner has no concept, what to say of 'professionals', so what's the > use?. Easterner's give the standard 'detach' monologue, which I know is > intellectually sound and correct but emotionally I am greiving. > Right now, this understanding I have received has taken everything I love > and hold dear. It has taken any small scrap of joy I could otherwise > experience in the mundane. > I don't have the energy to expand but am hoping you get my drift. If you > have any advice on offer I would surely appreciate it. This sadness just > won't lift. > > ---- > > Das's reply > > > Sounds OH SO familiar. I could have written this awhile back: > > > I have stopped heavy study of astrology, for as to solve my deep and long > depression and sadness, I have taken to other things, such as finding > friends, finding love and sex, finding other activities which do not glue me > in front of a computer. > > For me, everything brightens when I have sex. This I think is because the > "togetherness" that happens, is the ultimate in "I'm with you", and gives me > therefore the ultimate feeling of NOT being alone, which kills the fear, > which gives the courage to go on. That's my best solution. > > Am I finding ann? > > No not really, therefore I cry all the time as well, usually every night for > a couple hours. Often I seek help, but my family and friends are very tired > of me. I have to move on to new friends for fresh crying fields. > > I made a trip to the Bay Area, as I was invited here by some older Hindu > Gentlemen friends who are giving me a nice car because they love me. They > own and run a number of large hotels, but struggle TREMENDOUSLY since 911 > and are losing alot. It's scary for them. > > I still cry. I still have no woman to hug and kiss and make love with. So I > still cry. > > I also cry because I feel I'm at the verge of something big for myself, when > all these years of pain due to the screwed up way humans are being with each > other, by not being with each other, that I 'm going to find that missino in > life that eludes me still, which I know has to do with Hinduism, Celtism, > and the merging of the two. > > For example, I got this idea last night: Translate the best Hindu mantras, > such as praying to Durga for a wife, into GAELIC and replace Durga with > Rosemerta or Brigit, etc. and circulate those, bring the white people back > to their own pagain roots. I have permission from my long dead Druid > ancestors to allow the Hindus to revitalize our Druidism, where they say > from their whispers and pages "the brahmins are the closest things on Earth > to us, the ancient Druids". This is very clear. So I may go about that work > now. Seems like a very good idea. > > Meanwhile, I still seek a woman who has the guts to be with me, likes sex, > isn't way older than me, and does weight twice as much as me. > > Now this may be an odd answer to some, to the above plight, but I don't > think so. > > Reason: No bullshit. Pure truth. No lieing. > > 2nd: The fact is, we need a mission in life. We need to be doing some > service which motivates us, gives us reason to live, and gets our mind off > our own problems and privations. THat's a FACT. I'm showing the way, as one > who fights extreme depressed crying DAILY FOR YEARS. > > I'm off meds, off Lithium and Lexapro, off pot and tobacco, facing life's > raw edges AS IT IS. So I'm talking through a drugged up deluded blurr. This > is for real. > > Why don't people get together and screw and yell, and talk, and eat, and > excercise and worship....than staying in their little huts crying alone? > > Remember I asked Bay Area people to call me, well guess what, only ONE DID, > and she's my die-hard old friend Sabine who FOR SURE is going to call me if > I'm anywhere near SF and she finds out. That'a a no brainer. We're very good > friends. > > But NOBODY ELSE called me, not a one. > > By the way, you know my various requests to this list, they never do a > THING. The one's about girlfriends, or bright ideas, or whatever, they never > result in anything. > > Just like, in the past I had bright ideas about astrology, research, etc., > well there were a few responses of enthusiam, but nobody with money to fund > anything, unless they simply were taking my business away from me. > > Whatever planet I'm from, I think it's Brhaspati-Loka or Vaikuntha, well the > principles they have there of devoted caring and fun working towards high > causes, caring for others, free love, laughing, openness, etc., are not to > be found here, and it took me 43 years to figure that out, or, in living in > 27 different countries and typing voracioulsy on the internet is just not > found it yet. Maybe I should try South America, Puerto Rico, or Jamaica, > three I haven't tried yet. > > I see ads for going on trips to Mexico, planned vacations, to see the > prostitues, where "you can have all your dreams fulfilled". Maybe thats the > only way for an interesting, usually somewhat wealthy, supposedly very > handsome, guy to get sex. Perhaps that's the ironic truth. > > Yesterday I was told that perhaps I should dress and do my hair like > "NORMAL", so achieve sex. So that's probably it. If I want the denizens of > this stupid planet and age to like me I have to become one of them. Lately I > wear Celtic painted clothing. I guess that scares off the stupified whites, > depite it being their own to half of them. > > My advice to our crying friend: I hardly have any as you can see. I do > agree that seeing all the pain in people's charts will drive you mad. > Engaging with them and delivering to them their pain and pleasure is > probably much better. In other words, get out of your head and join the > Lila, which is all it seems to be more or less. > > For example, I watch the transits sometimes, noting especially the Moon and > ascendent, the two speed demons (fastest bodies). They tell all on a daily > basis for me. > > > Yesterday I noted at one point the moon was exactly 8th from my moon and > when the ascendent crossed it I know there would be dealings with debts, > loss of money, thoughts of sex, etc. These things are indicated. It all > happended exactly. Right at that moment a guy called to cancel a software > order, which are already too few these days....loss of money, etc., and a > friend drove me by a good whore house, just to show it to me, so that was on > the mind.... > > So there's nothing secret or unrevealed if you know Jyotish. > > Which proves we live in a clock, and are stuck on the hands. > > But there's no fun in knowing that exactly, it doesn't change that we must > still engage, but however, it can give us some relief knowing it's all > planned, and as each thing comes, so it will go, and another thing will > come, but shaking up the life is essential when stagnant, and crying is a > wasting of energy which is almost ripe, almost to the point of giving us > strength, it's the tears that waters tommorows harvest, but if we can keep > them in, and allow them to expand without release, it creates energy in the > head, which will push up the plants of spring of a new day. \\\\ > > > Thing, why am I angry or sad, what is driving this, if I'm honest, what do I > want. > > My self, I want way more activity with GOOD people, who are doing something > to imrove and change culture, help others on large scale, I want to be very > very busy and know ALOT of people and have ALOT of sex, like every day. > > That's what I want. I want to be Hanuman, fighting wars for Good Gods, and > having lots of monkey wives who don't bother putting on underwear because > they'll just have to take it off again so soon anyway. > > So hows that sound? > > By the way, I know I'm > > a. Not normal, so don't bother telling me so > b. Not really from this planet, so don't feel good or bad if you're not like > me > c. Telling the gods honest truth of what I feel without apology, so don't > bother telling me so > d. probably not going to get any of what I want soon eough to stop MY tears, > so don't rub it in > > These are jokes, as I don't know how to end this. > > Take care, happy journeying down the worm hole of what we call "modern > times" > > > roik who cares mach'ai Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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