Guest guest Posted August 7, 2003 Report Share Posted August 7, 2003 Dear Das, We all know that you are an honest man, and brave man, too. Thanks for sharing, dear Das, and please write when you feel that way, you always say something that many of us appreciate, and benefit from. Anna - "Das Goravani" <> <gjlist> Sunday, January 20, 2019 11:02 AM [GJ] Smooth over words... > > Hello everyone, > > I wasn't able to respond for a few days due to phone line work going on. > > I thank those who responded to my last crisis. I'm ok. > > I have come to accept the label "bi polar" or "Manic Depressive", whether > it's true or not exactly. It seems it is. Anyway, I experience extreme > highs, and lows, and it's hard to be logical and "do the right thing". I'm > on my own, so when I hit a hard down point, I may do something stupid like > writing to the list. I thank you , as I've said, for tolerating this. > > To those who wonder how I could write such things, as I'm "a great soul" in > some ways to some people, know that Divinity and Truth has always been and > will most likely always be my main interest in life. I am no different than > I used to be when I wrote the writings that got me that reputation. > > However, the search has separated me from common American life since age 19. > I am human, so in midlife some regrets and fears popped up, helping to > cause my problem. > > When I talk to woman and try to "date", it's a totaly disaster. This is very > scary. Some woman like me, but they're not around. When I try to meet > locally, I find "normal" and also sometimes they cannot relate to me at all. > > I don't want to go on about this, but what I'm really trying to say is that > it's a bit of a hard thing- to hold onto strong spiritual interests and > knowledge, and also have a normal life on Earth, as society, America anyway, > is kindof socially geared another way. What's "normal" is not something I'm > schooled in. I'm trained in things others aren't used to at all. > > I lived an orthodox hindu lifestyle like many Hare Krishna devotees for a > long time, but I'm not Indian, and ultimately, I think this matters. > > There is a disproportionateloy high number of Irish in the ranks of the > depressed I've been told by counselors and shrinks. If this is true, I would > immediately understand why, as the cultural background and genetic memories > are filled with a very long and bloody struggle. If this stuff is true, it > matters, and in me. I am experiencing a very hard mental life. > > As for helping me, - I appreciate the sincerity of those who try and have > tried. I have come to feel that only my own local efforst, inside myself and > locally where I live, are really going to help. I have not been able to get > that much real stuff out of email, though sometimes I do get good wisdom and > reasoning, truly I do. Thats helpful. > > But I have been this way for years, and received much email and reiki, etc., > and basically it's up to me. > > So why do I write? It's due to the extremity of the downs. In other words, > I don't write out of asking a rational question, for a rational need I feel, > rather, I write simply because the list is there, and seems like a listening > person at the moment of intense fear. > > You have to know that the downs, and ups, are both extreme. The downs are > very extreme. I won't go deeply into it. It is much worse than the average > "depressed". It is more like shaking in the corner. It borders on > schizophrenic behavior, psychosis, etc. It's really bad. > > The ups on the other hand are the best thing on Earth. So the lows can be > seen as a price tag for the highs. Most of the time you're in the middle, or > a little low, but manageable. > > I can honestly say that I generally struggle moment to moment in life. It's > hard, but improving. I am improving. > > > thank you, > > das > > > > > Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya; Hare Krishna; Om Tat Sat > : gjlist- > > > > Your use of is subject to > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 2003 Report Share Posted August 8, 2003 A number of folks 'ecourage' even my desperate writings, and I see why. They tell me it's fine. I understand and accept. I really respect those of you who see life so broudly, and are such workers for the truth, for the good of all, who show such big hearts, and are so feminine in that they flow like water with what is, without trying to force perfection, or agendas, on me or the flow of reality. That is very spiritually good in my mind. Of course, I like being happy, and not down, so hopefully, there will be not alot of desperation in me, and I wish, in everyone, all brothers and sisters everywhere. A fun aside: I gave my newly married and pregnant daughter my car. So then a friend gave me an old car of his he could afford to give away. So yesterday I painted it all Celtic with mud from England, which I tend to do with my car. Don't have a pict of this one, but picture me driving around Eugene in a car covered with swirls in a whitish clay. It looks so cool. It's a known icon of Eugene, my car. Fun. I highly reccomend painting your car. Express yourself, beautify your city simutaneously. beep, beep... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 2003 Report Share Posted August 8, 2003 - "Das Goravani" <> <gjlist> Friday, August 08, 2003 5:35 PM Re: [GJ] Smooth over words... > > A number of folks 'ecourage' even my desperate writings, and I see why. They > tell me it's fine. I understand and accept. I really respect those of you > who see life so broudly, and are such workers for the truth, for the good of > all, who show such big hearts, and are so feminine in that they flow like > water with what is, without trying to force perfection, or agendas, on me or > the flow of reality. That is very spiritually good in my mind. Of course, I > like being happy, and not down, so hopefully, there will be not alot of > desperation in me, and I wish, in everyone, all brothers and sisters > everywhere. > > A fun aside: I gave my newly married and pregnant daughter my car. So then a > friend gave me an old car of his he could afford to give away. So yesterday > I painted it all Celtic with mud from England, which I tend to do with my > car. Don't have a pict of this one, but picture me driving around Eugene in > a car covered with swirls in a whitish clay. It looks so cool. It's a known > icon of Eugene, my car. Fun. I highly reccomend painting your car. Express > yourself, beautify your city simutaneously. > > beep, beep... > > > Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya; Hare Krishna; Om Tat Sat > : gjlist- > > > > Your use of is subject to > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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