Guest guest Posted August 14, 2003 Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 Walking around an empty apartment. Nobody in my life. No more family. No wife. No siblings. No more fascination with anything. Just quiet. Just "endings". I'm thinking of selling off Goravani Jyotish completely, to the highest bidder. I don't know what to do with my life. I'm just crying. I can't get a vision of who I am or what to do, what to love. It's so hard for me, the way I'm built, to be alone without a vision and plan, a goal. tears of being lost are what I have these days. There is nothing left in me for Jyotish. I have lived a mental life for so long, and had nothing actually to touch and hold, nobody, no thing, just all computers, typing, electronics. Alone, with electronics. They don't give comfort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2003 Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 --- Das Goravani <> wrote: > Walking around an empty apartment. Nobody in my > life. No more family. No > wife. No siblings. No more fascination with > anything. Just quiet. Just > "endings". > I don't know what to do with my life. I'm just > crying. I can't get a vision > of who I am or what to do, what to love. It's so > hard for me, the way I'm > built, to be alone without a vision and plan, a > goal. Dear Das, Popularity breeds more popularity. Money breeds more money. And Lack breeds more lack. You MUST stop concentrating on what you don't have. You are focused on being part of a pair because you believe you are built to be successful only as part of a pair. And I'm willing to take you on your word and believe you to be right. But you have to bring something to the pair for it to work. You have to bring YOU as an individual and that's where you need work. You need to focus on fixing YOU during this period (and I'm NOT referring to the Bi-polarity or any of that!) and you will attract the pair. As long as you are a void, that's what you will attract. Take me as an example. Issues of attractiveness aside, I have NOTHING at this moment in time to offer. And although nothingness is an accurate picture of me, it is also an accurate picture of you because you attracted me. Look at your daughter and her husband. They were living with you and they left. Why? Because they want to live their life? Absolutely. But they didn't have to move to do that, no matter what you think. Obviously they felt they could not live that life with you. Why? Because you weren't bringing yourself as an individual into the relationship. You were looking for them to fulfill you in a greater way then they were able to. And I don't mean physically. Quit focusing on the physical. I mean emotionally, and spiritually. You are looking for someone else to fill your own void and no one can do that. No matter how much you are built to be part of a pair, Das, only you can fill your void. Someone else can then share that fullness (and their own) with you. HOW do you fill that void? Christ almighty, I just don't know. I haven't been able to fill my own void. I'm hoping to God somebody else on the list has that answer because I do not. However, I DO know that the answer to filling the void can't be found if you drown before that answer comes. The first order of business (can you tell I'm Capricorn?) is to avoid drowning. Part of that, Das, is shifting your focus away from what you lack and on to what you have. Yes, I know you don't want what you have. If you did, you'd be happy. But focusing on that lack increases it. Soon you become hysterical with the void, it takes on a life of it's own and sucks the life out of you. I have been there and you ARE there. SO STOP IT. It can be done. Shift your focus. On to what? On to who you are. You know who you are, Das? I've looked at your chart. You are "service to others". You are supposed to be giving to others and so long as you avoid being that, you only harm yourself. You doom yourself to be empty. How do I know? Because I've looked at my chart too and I too am "service to others". And it annoys the hell out of me because I'd rather be a "take for myself", frankly, and I've tried to be that all my life (and it's been who you have been on a PERSONAL level) and have ended up losing everything and creating illness and misery in my life. When I hit absolute rock bottom (please God let that have been rock bottom), I had to focus on someone else and be of service to them. And you know what? As much as I hate to admit it (being ungrateful in nature), most everything in my life has turned around and has steadily improved since then. So long as the focus is off of what I lack and onto what I can do, everything goes right. Of course, the tricky part is that without the focus being on me, I need to work on improving those nasty traits of mine that make me a void so that I, too, can have something to offer a pair. You aren't the only one dying on the vine, my sweet. So I actually do know where you are, Das, and I do know how hard it is to have neither vision, nor plan, nor goal - I still don't. And seeing as I haven't completed my own journey, I really can't tell you the sure way out of the maze, only the part I've walked so far. (And yes, I am aware of the irony about saying I shouldn't focus on me, but then all I talk about is me.) > There is nothing left in me for Jyotish. I have > lived a mental life for so > long, and had nothing actually to touch and hold, > nobody, no thing, just all > computers, typing, electronics. Oh, and regarding that "service", Das, don't do it by computer. Obviously service on an electronic level (something you have done) is not good enough. You need to give service to an individual or group of people who you can see face to face. Someone around you (probably not as far away as you think) needs a hug, or a shoulder to cry on, or some other form of help, far more than you do (True! Trust me). "Love is caring more about someone else than about yourself." I don't know how else to say it, Das. Love is not just physical. So love someone. It will heal you. > Alone, with electronics. They don't give comfort. > Leave the house, Das. Or invite someone to stay with you. -Mary PS: Who knows? If my family arrives Saturday and discovers how little I've accomplished (you see, I'm repeating a prior destructive pattern - it seems I haven't learned), the person staying with you might be me, whether you like it or not! (And you think I'm kidding.) Watch out what you wish for, for it will surely come back to bite you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2003 Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 Dear Das I am very sorry to hear of your difficulties and I encourage all the list members to add a thought in their prayers for your welfare . Nicholas --- Das Goravani <> wrote: > > Walking around an empty apartment. Nobody in my > life. No more family. No > wife. No siblings. No more fascination with > anything. Just quiet. Just > "endings". > > I'm thinking of selling off Goravani Jyotish > completely, to the highest > bidder. > > I don't know what to do with my life. I'm just > crying. I can't get a vision > of who I am or what to do, what to love. It's so > hard for me, the way I'm > built, to be alone without a vision and plan, a > goal. > > tears of being lost are what I have these days. > > There is nothing left in me for Jyotish. I have > lived a mental life for so > long, and had nothing actually to touch and hold, > nobody, no thing, just all > computers, typing, electronics. > > Alone, with electronics. They don't give comfort. > > > > > > Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya; Hare Krishna; Om Tat > Sat > : > gjlist- > > > > Your use of is subject to > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2003 Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 Thank you my dear Nicholas, this is very kind of you. > Nicholas Francis <yadusrestha > gjlist > Thu, 14 Aug 2003 19:00:15 -0700 (PDT) > gjlist > Re: [GJ] Void > > Dear Das > I am very sorry to hear of your difficulties and I > encourage all the list members to add a thought in > their prayers for your welfare . > Nicholas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 15, 2003 Report Share Posted August 15, 2003 Dear Das I am running Rahu Ketu and are also struggling with some changes in my life . Your sweet reply has made my day . Nicholas --- Das Goravani <> wrote: > > > > > Thank you my dear Nicholas, this is very kind of > you. > > > > > Nicholas Francis <yadusrestha > > gjlist > > Thu, 14 Aug 2003 19:00:15 -0700 (PDT) > > gjlist > > Re: [GJ] Void > > > > Dear Das > > I am very sorry to hear of your difficulties and > I > > encourage all the list members to add a thought > in > > their prayers for your welfare . > > Nicholas > > > > > Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya; Hare Krishna; Om Tat > Sat > : > gjlist- > > > > Your use of is subject to > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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