Guest guest Posted August 14, 2003 Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 Regarding Shotguns: I frequently find myself having to make phone calls to offices whose phones are manned by those automated menu systems where no matter what button you press you get a new menu with 9 more options (there is a point to this story). I get impatient and frustrated very easily, and I start to get angry. I then either start pressing whatever number my finger finds in the hopes of reaching ANYONE who is live, or I start impatiently pressing “0” over and over. Do you know what happens? I either get a message saying that was not an option and then get bumped right back to the beginning, or I get menu options that end in voice mail boxes, or the system tells me that it just can’t help me and hangs up. After howling with anger and staring at the phone wondering if I can rip it out and get through faster that way, I decide to just not call. But the fact is that I still have my reason for calling. I still need to get through. There is still a job to be done. So I swallow my anger and impatience, I take a deep breath, and I decide (here’s the news flash): to listen to the menu instead of trying to impose my own opinion of how the menu should be. One hundred percent of the time I do this, I get through to a live person in a matter of seconds. Literally. I get the impression this is your life right now, Das. You are either furiously pressing any old button, or staring into space not pressing any buttons, but not listening to the options either. You may have a strong desire to pick up a shotgun and end the call. But that doesn’t solve your problem. Not if you believe in reincarnation anyway. You just have to pick up the phone on the next life and start all over again to learn the lessons you are avoiding now. So that isn’t really a solution. You are then just choosing to start all over again losing everything you’ve learned to date. What a waste. Do you WANT to relive the pain you’ve lived through so far? Mark Kincaid is right in his response to you. You need to stop and LISTEN to what the world is trying to tell you. There’s a message in that silence. But your own brain is so busy repeating “I need, I don’t have, I want” that you don’t HEAR what it’s trying to tell you. All those women who walk away, who never call, who make excuses and who look at you funny are trying to tell you something. And it isn’t that you are autistic (something I take leave to doubt) or bi-polar (I’ll grant you that). You can be very intense and very frightening which does hold people away, but you can also be very gentle and kind and funny. But even during your normal periods, shall we say, you hold the world at bay. You do it to yourself, Das. I’ve heard it in your voice over the phone. You want a mast, or a keel or a rudder, but it must be aluminum (or something like that), not wood, or you don’t want it. Chrys333 was right in saying you want only what doesn’t want you. I think you are deliberately attracted to those women who won’t call and who will look at you funny. It’s like you have a Reject-o-Radar that tells you who will turn away, and you run right up to them. And until you stop and listen and figure out why you do this to yourself, you’ll be stuck in a catch-22. And I think the closest you’ve come to getting it right was when you spoke of self confidence and wanting to add to yourself before adding another person. And the farthest you’ve been is in the woods with a shotgun. -Mary --- Das Goravani <> wrote: > > When I try to think of solutions, like, go to a > store which is lively, and > set up a booth in the corner with owners permission, > for doing free charts > maybe, and just say positive things, and be lively > and bubbly, I think, OK, > that could work, I'll make friends, but the fact is, > that as I see the > woman, who listen then walk away, and who never > call, I will suffer extreme > inner pain, which I'll take home, and which will > make me cry. If I reach out > to them, they ALWAYS reject me, never call, use > excuses, look at me funny. I > obviously don't know how to "do it right", hence I > think I'm autistic. > > These days you can buy a shotgun easily. You can saw > all the barrel also > easily. Take it to the woods, and blow your brain > via your mouth sky high. I > saw a picture of a guy who did this- nothing above > the top lip remained. > Pretty total. End of problem. > > The pain is great. 8 years of trying to figure it > out. 8 years of pain and > longing. So many recommendations. No humans in my > life. I can't believe we > are to be so alone. They tell me I'm loveable, but > I"m alone. It's so hard. > I should'nt write this but I am overly compelled to > say something. > > Please forgive me. I have to write or do something. > The quiet and lack of > possibilities or answers is knawing away at me, day > after day. > > One day they'll realize that some people need > another to be their leader, > guide, whatever, their balance, their mast, their > rudder. THey'll realize > it's a condition that some have. It will be too late > for me. I didn't get > it. Nobody was there to do it. I was wasted, allowed > to go to waste, despite > whatever gifts I have left to offer. > > Don't get freaked out in writing back. I probably > won't buy a shotgun > anytime soon. I will continue to sit in a mess, > drink, empty fridge, cry, > wander around, collapse on bed, check email hoping > for answers, hope that > something happens, nothing will, one day, one day, > one day, end it. > > > > > Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya; Hare Krishna; Om Tat > Sat > : > gjlist- > > > > Your use of is subject to > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2003 Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 u r nuts sakhya Quoting Das Goravani <>: > > When I try to think of solutions, like, go to a store which is lively, and > set up a booth in the corner with owners permission, for doing free charts > maybe, and just say positive things, and be lively and bubbly, I think, OK, > that could work, I'll make friends, but the fact is, that as I see the > woman, who listen then walk away, and who never call, I will suffer extreme > inner pain, which I'll take home, and which will make me cry. If I reach out > to them, they ALWAYS reject me, never call, use excuses, look at me funny. I > obviously don't know how to "do it right", hence I think I'm autistic. > > These days you can buy a shotgun easily. You can saw all the barrel also > easily. Take it to the woods, and blow your brain via your mouth sky high. I > saw a picture of a guy who did this- nothing above the top lip remained. > Pretty total. End of problem. > > The pain is great. 8 years of trying to figure it out. 8 years of pain and > longing. So many recommendations. No humans in my life. I can't believe we > are to be so alone. They tell me I'm loveable, but I"m alone. It's so hard. > I should'nt write this but I am overly compelled to say something. > > Please forgive me. I have to write or do something. The quiet and lack of > possibilities or answers is knawing away at me, day after day. > > One day they'll realize that some people need another to be their leader, > guide, whatever, their balance, their mast, their rudder. THey'll realize > it's a condition that some have. It will be too late for me. I didn't get > it. Nobody was there to do it. I was wasted, allowed to go to waste, despite > whatever gifts I have left to offer. > > Don't get freaked out in writing back. I probably won't buy a shotgun > anytime soon. I will continue to sit in a mess, drink, empty fridge, cry, > wander around, collapse on bed, check email hoping for answers, hope that > something happens, nothing will, one day, one day, one day, end it. > > > > > Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya; Hare Krishna; Om Tat Sat > : gjlist- > > > > Your use of is subject to > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2003 Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 Das, you have been brought to a very proufound and significant moment in your life... it may be extremeley, exteremely hard for you to recognize this at this moment in time and space... but in some fashion, have you not been brought to the ultimate testing point of your faith and conviction... is not the very spiritual essence of the Vedas being commanded of you now in the midst of the world of image, sensation, and attachment to relative outcomes? This does not in anyway underscore your trajedy... nor does it lack compassion for it... but it merely reflects that which is reflectionless, steady, un-namable - that which can only be pointed to in words. God is not calling to you to end your life... only your conception of it. Again, easy, easy to say... so difficult to live... yes, yes... but now is the time to draw upon all of your incredible learning... here the source of study, merit, and meditation bears its fruit... in the midst of your loneliness in the midst of your ultimate challenge there must be the doorway to absolute inner freedom and effulgence... God would not lead you to this point if it were not a step forward into eternal... and that eternal is to be lived here and now in the light and darkness of the dualistic day... Do not lose hope my friend... do not lose faith... do not forget your divine birthright... it cannot be harmed, it cannot be stained... it is not subject to the whims of these perceptions... it is the finite and the infinite universe that is both time and beyond time, space and beyond space, word and beyond word. Seek your illumination with a heart that is whaling in agony of the pain of the world - yes cry and attune to that which you feel that you have lost - feel the essence of that sorrow - Oh Arjuna - see the blood on the field - hear the crying of the mothers as their sons fall to ground over the belief in words and the wielders of words... see your brother there and his son, slain, but also remember that Krishna is there to guide... leading you, steadfast, in the midst of the inner battle... dearest one... do not forget... hold strong... don't forget your birthright - and know that you are loved. - "Das Goravani" <> <gjlist> Thursday, August 14, 2003 5:25 PM [GJ] Solutions out of reach > > When I try to think of solutions, like, go to a store which is lively, and > set up a booth in the corner with owners permission, for doing free charts > maybe, and just say positive things, and be lively and bubbly, I think, OK, > that could work, I'll make friends, but the fact is, that as I see the > woman, who listen then walk away, and who never call, I will suffer extreme > inner pain, which I'll take home, and which will make me cry. If I reach out > to them, they ALWAYS reject me, never call, use excuses, look at me funny. I > obviously don't know how to "do it right", hence I think I'm autistic. > > These days you can buy a shotgun easily. You can saw all the barrel also > easily. Take it to the woods, and blow your brain via your mouth sky high. I > saw a picture of a guy who did this- nothing above the top lip remained. > Pretty total. End of problem. > > The pain is great. 8 years of trying to figure it out. 8 years of pain and > longing. So many recommendations. No humans in my life. I can't believe we > are to be so alone. They tell me I'm loveable, but I"m alone. It's so hard. > I should'nt write this but I am overly compelled to say something. > > Please forgive me. I have to write or do something. The quiet and lack of > possibilities or answers is knawing away at me, day after day. > > One day they'll realize that some people need another to be their leader, > guide, whatever, their balance, their mast, their rudder. THey'll realize > it's a condition that some have. It will be too late for me. I didn't get > it. Nobody was there to do it. I was wasted, allowed to go to waste, despite > whatever gifts I have left to offer. > > Don't get freaked out in writing back. I probably won't buy a shotgun > anytime soon. I will continue to sit in a mess, drink, empty fridge, cry, > wander around, collapse on bed, check email hoping for answers, hope that > something happens, nothing will, one day, one day, one day, end it. > > > > > Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya; Hare Krishna; Om Tat Sat > : gjlist- > > > > Your use of is subject to > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2003 Report Share Posted August 19, 2003 Feel very much ashamed of yourself to be rude and impolite for no reason to someone esp. who is really good at heart and having some real bad time. That is, if you are a human, do only then. If you can not directly help someone in trouble, at least pray for him. It takes God less than a second to put you in a lot worse condition than the troubled person you are laughing at. Unfortunately, God does not do this immediately that is why most people are unaware of this truth. However, ignorance does not or can not change the truth. ******** Allah (Muslim's God) in the Quran - "When you torture someone (in any way), fear when s/he prays for the judgement. Because there is no barrier between his prayer and my order." ******** We all should be thankful to the God that he did not make us street dogs to force us to live a life like that. So when the God was kind enough to make us human, we should be kind enough to act like human. It takes only good intention to be nice. Thanks. What can not happen, can never happen. Which is mine, is forever mine. Tanvir Chowdhury tanvir http://www.geocities.com/king_tanvir http://www.geocities.com/planetaryastro - spot gjlist Friday, August 15, 2003 8:12 AM Re: [GJ] Solutions out of reach u r nuts sakhya Quoting Das Goravani <>: > > When I try to think of solutions, like, go to a store which is lively, and > set up a booth in the corner with owners permission, for doing free charts > maybe, and just say positive things, and be lively and bubbly, I think, OK, > that could work, I'll make friends, but the fact is, that as I see the > woman, who listen then walk away, and who never call, I will suffer extreme > inner pain, which I'll take home, and which will make me cry. If I reach out > to them, they ALWAYS reject me, never call, use excuses, look at me funny. I > obviously don't know how to "do it right", hence I think I'm autistic. > > These days you can buy a shotgun easily. You can saw all the barrel also > easily. Take it to the woods, and blow your brain via your mouth sky high. I > saw a picture of a guy who did this- nothing above the top lip remained. > Pretty total. End of problem. > > The pain is great. 8 years of trying to figure it out. 8 years of pain and > longing. So many recommendations. No humans in my life. I can't believe we > are to be so alone. They tell me I'm loveable, but I"m alone. It's so hard. > I should'nt write this but I am overly compelled to say something. > > Please forgive me. I have to write or do something. The quiet and lack of > possibilities or answers is knawing away at me, day after day. > > One day they'll realize that some people need another to be their leader, > guide, whatever, their balance, their mast, their rudder. THey'll realize > it's a condition that some have. It will be too late for me. I didn't get > it. Nobody was there to do it. I was wasted, allowed to go to waste, despite > whatever gifts I have left to offer. > > Don't get freaked out in writing back. I probably won't buy a shotgun > anytime soon. I will continue to sit in a mess, drink, empty fridge, cry, > wander around, collapse on bed, check email hoping for answers, hope that > something happens, nothing will, one day, one day, one day, end it. > > > > > Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya; Hare Krishna; Om Tat Sat > : gjlist- > > > > Your use of is subject to > > > Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya; Hare Krishna; Om Tat Sat : gjlist- Your use of is subject to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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