Guest guest Posted December 13, 2003 Report Share Posted December 13, 2003 Information on getting the Alpha Version- see below I am changing the name to Jyotish Studio 3, hence "JS 3" instead of GJ 3 David LaGrone has been a very good and long time and loving supporter of me in every way. He's not my adversary in any way. David's a friend. Just wanted to make that clear. He just spoke the truth, which is, that I did put it up for sale, which would make one think the things he wrote. It's logical and not meant as an insult to me I'm sure. However, I only got one light response to that "up for sale" message, just one. It just said "More info please" and I haven't sent that yet. So nothing happened with that "up for sale" at all. Not at all. So I'm still sitting here with my business as always. I have been unable to make myself seriously work for 3 years. Once I get going, JS3 will happen pretty fast. So I'm working on getting going. To this end, things are improving. Those who have not had, nor been real close to, someone with real mental disease, especially real Mania/Depression, cannot know how painful it is. The endless crying, inconsolable grief that goes on and on... I am incredibly sensitive and fragile for some time, and this after a long life of real success and plenty of personal power, ego, charisma, drive. I got so confused firstly when it set in. What was happening? I felt like Arjuna after Krishna took away his powers in the end of Mahabharat. These days, I am at a serious cross roads. I am getting better, slowly, and now my kids have moved out. I am seriously broke, and lonely, living alone, and then there sit's my computer...waiting for me to work on JS3. It's very hard for me to face that I have to get back into hard work, while still being alone. The mental disease is still there, though much less- confusion, fear of lonliness, like ghosts or spirits haunting me, feelings come and go that cause extreme fear. I often want to enter a ward, any home, any where, where I can just be taken care of. It's very hard. I can save my situation financially simply by getting to work hard and fast on JS3. It's so close to being done. It's just so hard to start and stay on it. But that is my plan. Again, that is my plan. Every day I try. I was painting Celtic Art, but now I'm just sitting all day, saying, OK, NOW, START, GO... and so on. I'm almost there. I really appreciate the love some of you write to me, or about me on the list. Thank you so much. You are very giving and sweet to do that. It really helps because it reminds me I'm wanted, and not alone. Mental disease is such that you constantly return to the forgetfulness, to the fear, and suffer. It takes alot of remembering, and ACTING ON IT to get out of it. I'm doing that. I am making progress. Remember how I used to scream about living alone. Well I've been doing it now for months and I've been OK with it. So progress is happening. JS3 is very interesting. It's different than previous programs. It's not going to do all that Sanjay Rath teaches, but with the basic stuff that GJ already had- all the Parashari basics that we all use, that is taken far, made very interesting- and cross referenced alot. You'll have to see it to know what I mean. It's very interesting. It will actually captivate you a bit. I would be really sad if it didn't come out, since it's interesting, and so close to being done. That's one reason I haven't just ditched the business already. There's things I hate about this business, or having any business, such as the constant phone calls and emails. Everyone sounds so "up" when they call and I am so down. It's very frustrating. But JS3 kept me in the game. I just can't let this masterpiece go. I'm not bragging. I'm just speaking reality as I see it from my corner of the world. So the truth is, there's a very good chance it will come out. This little interaction we had here today just might be the push I need. ========================= GET THE ALPHA NOW (ON PC) PC users who are a bit savvy on their computers, can order the alpha version of it right now. Use my goravani.com order form, and in the note field, put JS3 Alpha, so that I know that's what you're ordering. Give your credit card, and I'll charge it $10 to cover my costs only. Then I'll send it to you and activate you. This offer is for my users only. If you are not one of my users, then buy my program and put that you want the alpha too, and I'll send you both. I don't have alpha on the Mac yet. When I do, it will be OSX native. There's a big push to get that one done, and I'm concerned about it greatly. My Mac customers are suffering these days with issues due to OSX making my old version not work right. For the record, a very staunch Catholic mood came down the maternal side of my family. My mother was a bit like a nun, though she had 11 children. My dad got a serious brain malfunction and was put away while I was young. My mother had no time for any one of us, hence, I had no direct parenting, very little holding, attention, etc. This is known to lead to all the problems I've had. Being karmicly cursed/blessed with a certain nature, I sought safety and comfort in drugs extensively, which didn't help, but rather, hurts your system internally, makes the problems worse. I currently have to face and work through many uncomfortable feelings that spontaneously arise in my system. I used to overcompensate- wanted to fix everything for my Mom and family, so I was manic- trying to be famous as a Rock Star while in college, then famous as a Saint in Hare Krishna, then famous as the one who shows the world that Vedic Astrology really works and that Karma exists, and then I broke. The mania was over, the system burnt out, and the price tag came for collection. Now I'm just trying to get back to where very average people are, which is a healthier place than mania. I am used to mania, and trying to get used to "steady and balanced". But you must know, that from deep within the phychi, messages and feelings arise which are like fire storms of fear and regret, sorrow, anxiety, etc. FIRE STORMS. It's really intense. This is not a light weight battle. My interest in Celtic matters is partly a way of getting a family back, an identity, a people, to comfort me. I feel very uncomfortable, most of the time. The real thing holding up JS3 is the entire Celtic saga. That's a fact. I am a living example of the current situation with that. My problems stem from that. The staunch Irish Catholics once out-shined Rome and led the Catholic world from Iona. "Have as many kids as possible" made it all the way to my Mother, and I was #7 of 11. That led to the "no-parenting" problem, then seeking approval through heroism (mania), which led to the breakdown. And actually this is how it is with all of us, products of our ancestries. The genes, the moods, the ways, the problems and positives, all coming down to us. Vedic astrology shows this. You see your parents in the chart, and there's always lineups and relationships between parent/child charts. My 4th lord, Moon, is 8th from the 4th (bad), in the 11th house, with Ketu in Aquarius. That basically says my Mom is pretty darn dark, and that was true, she was a very sad, depressed, serious, religious person all the way til her end. And that's also my emotions, correct? So you see, they are linked. Psychologists know it from studies, we know it from Jyotish. We all agree. I have received more than my share of love and support from the world, from all of you, or many of you, and I thank you profusely for that. Our earthly journey is hard. We can go on with it easier by helping each other. Great Earth Mother and Sky Father, help us to see that we are your children together, and thus help each other onward in this earthly journey we're on. To victory, Richard MacKai list moderator programmer, Goravani Jyotish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 13, 2003 Report Share Posted December 13, 2003 Dear Roik, You perhaps haven't noticed yet that your 'illness' is the price you pay for being a SAINT, for searching for your own 'defects' when none is there, for love and understanding of everyone except yourself, for not allowing yourself to feel anger, for not defending yourself 'appropriately, for your honesty which verges on madness... It's not 'human', dear Das, you are above all of us, and we'll punish you for that- we, 'normal' base humans with alive instincts for self-preservation.. God Bless You, dear Rick! Much Love, Yours, Anna - "Das Goravani" <> <gjlist> Saturday, December 13, 2003 12:55 PM [GJ] Status of JS 3, Get the Alpha > > Information on getting the Alpha Version- see below > > I am changing the name to Jyotish Studio 3, hence "JS 3" instead of GJ 3 > > David LaGrone has been a very good and long time and loving supporter of me > in every way. He's not my adversary in any way. David's a friend. > > Just wanted to make that clear. He just spoke the truth, which is, that I > did put it up for sale, which would make one think the things he wrote. It's > logical and not meant as an insult to me I'm sure. > > However, I only got one light response to that "up for sale" message, just > one. It just said "More info please" and I haven't sent that yet. So nothing > happened with that "up for sale" at all. Not at all. > > So I'm still sitting here with my business as always. > > I have been unable to make myself seriously work for 3 years. Once I get > going, JS3 will happen pretty fast. So I'm working on getting going. To this > end, things are improving. > > Those who have not had, nor been real close to, someone with real mental > disease, especially real Mania/Depression, cannot know how painful it is. > The endless crying, inconsolable grief that goes on and on... > > I am incredibly sensitive and fragile for some time, and this after a long > life of real success and plenty of personal power, ego, charisma, drive. I > got so confused firstly when it set in. What was happening? I felt like > Arjuna after Krishna took away his powers in the end of Mahabharat. > > These days, I am at a serious cross roads. I am getting better, slowly, and > now my kids have moved out. I am seriously broke, and lonely, living alone, > and then there sit's my computer...waiting for me to work on JS3. It's very > hard for me to face that I have to get back into hard work, while still > being alone. The mental disease is still there, though much less- confusion, > fear of lonliness, like ghosts or spirits haunting me, feelings come and go > that cause extreme fear. I often want to enter a ward, any home, any where, > where I can just be taken care of. It's very hard. > > I can save my situation financially simply by getting to work hard and fast > on JS3. It's so close to being done. It's just so hard to start and stay on > it. But that is my plan. Again, that is my plan. Every day I try. > > I was painting Celtic Art, but now I'm just sitting all day, saying, OK, > NOW, START, GO... and so on. I'm almost there. > > I really appreciate the love some of you write to me, or about me on the > list. Thank you so much. You are very giving and sweet to do that. It really > helps because it reminds me I'm wanted, and not alone. Mental disease is > such that you constantly return to the forgetfulness, to the fear, and > suffer. It takes alot of remembering, and ACTING ON IT to get out of it. I'm > doing that. I am making progress. > > Remember how I used to scream about living alone. Well I've been doing it > now for months and I've been OK with it. So progress is happening. > > JS3 is very interesting. It's different than previous programs. It's not > going to do all that Sanjay Rath teaches, but with the basic stuff that GJ > already had- all the Parashari basics that we all use, that is taken far, > made very interesting- and cross referenced alot. You'll have to see it to > know what I mean. It's very interesting. It will actually captivate you a > bit. > > I would be really sad if it didn't come out, since it's interesting, and so > close to being done. That's one reason I haven't just ditched the business > already. There's things I hate about this business, or having any business, > such as the constant phone calls and emails. Everyone sounds so "up" when > they call and I am so down. It's very frustrating. > > But JS3 kept me in the game. I just can't let this masterpiece go. I'm not > bragging. I'm just speaking reality as I see it from my corner of the world. > > So the truth is, there's a very good chance it will come out. > > This little interaction we had here today just might be the push I need. > > ========================= > GET THE ALPHA NOW (ON PC) > > PC users who are a bit savvy on their computers, can order the alpha version > of it right now. Use my goravani.com order form, and in the note field, put > JS3 Alpha, so that I know that's what you're ordering. Give your credit > card, and I'll charge it $10 to cover my costs only. Then I'll send it to > you and activate you. This offer is for my users only. If you are not one of > my users, then buy my program and put that you want the alpha too, and I'll > send you both. I don't have alpha on the Mac yet. When I do, it will be OSX > native. There's a big push to get that one done, and I'm concerned about it > greatly. My Mac customers are suffering these days with issues due to OSX > making my old version not work right. > > > > For the record, a very staunch Catholic mood came down the maternal side of > my family. My mother was a bit like a nun, though she had 11 children. My > dad got a serious brain malfunction and was put away while I was young. My > mother had no time for any one of us, hence, I had no direct parenting, very > little holding, attention, etc. This is known to lead to all the problems > I've had. Being karmicly cursed/blessed with a certain nature, I sought > safety and comfort in drugs extensively, which didn't help, but rather, > hurts your system internally, makes the problems worse. I currently have to > face and work through many uncomfortable feelings that spontaneously arise > in my system. I used to overcompensate- wanted to fix everything for my Mom > and family, so I was manic- trying to be famous as a Rock Star while in > college, then famous as a Saint in Hare Krishna, then famous as the one who > shows the world that Vedic Astrology really works and that Karma exists, and > then I broke. The mania was over, the system burnt out, and the price tag > came for collection. Now I'm just trying to get back to where very average > people are, which is a healthier place than mania. I am used to mania, and > trying to get used to "steady and balanced". But you must know, that from > deep within the phychi, messages and feelings arise which are like fire > storms of fear and regret, sorrow, anxiety, etc. FIRE STORMS. It's really > intense. This is not a light weight battle. My interest in Celtic matters is > partly a way of getting a family back, an identity, a people, to comfort me. > I feel very uncomfortable, most of the time. > > > The real thing holding up JS3 is the entire Celtic saga. That's a fact. I am > a living example of the current situation with that. My problems stem from > that. The staunch Irish Catholics once out-shined Rome and led the Catholic > world from Iona. "Have as many kids as possible" made it all the way to my > Mother, and I was #7 of 11. That led to the "no-parenting" problem, then > seeking approval through heroism (mania), which led to the breakdown. > > > And actually this is how it is with all of us, products of our ancestries. > The genes, the moods, the ways, the problems and positives, all coming down > to us. Vedic astrology shows this. You see your parents in the chart, and > there's always lineups and relationships between parent/child charts. > > > My 4th lord, Moon, is 8th from the 4th (bad), in the 11th house, with Ketu > in Aquarius. That basically says my Mom is pretty darn dark, and that was > true, she was a very sad, depressed, serious, religious person all the way > til her end. > > > And that's also my emotions, correct? So you see, they are linked. > Psychologists know it from studies, we know it from Jyotish. We all agree. > > > I have received more than my share of love and support from the world, from > all of you, or many of you, and I thank you profusely for that. > > > Our earthly journey is hard. We can go on with it easier by helping each > other. > > Great Earth Mother and Sky Father, help us to see that we are your children > together, and thus help each other onward in this earthly journey we're on. > > > To victory, > > > Richard MacKai > > list moderator > programmer, Goravani Jyotish > > > > > Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya; Hare Krishna; Om Tat Sat > : gjlist- > > > > Your use of is subject to > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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