Urgent Help Needed - To Naengineer, David and Vatsyayana

[Guest guest]

Dear "naengineer",

 

Please ignore any of us when we say that our opinion

speaks for everyone on the list. Whether what we've

said is good or bad, it is just our own individual

opinion. The comment has been made that no one else

(other than Prakash) answered your question because

they recognize you as undeserving or some other such

stupidity. People answer things because they answer

some things and not others. Everyone has busy lives

and everyone has some quirky internal list of what

they feel they can answer.

 

Also, many don't answer (like me) because they are

unqualified and have no desire to be unethical nor

harm anyone with lack of knowledge.

 

What I can tell you, from one human being to another,

is that somewhere inside your own head, is the

knowledge of what's right for you. It may or may not

be the same as what you desire. You might want to stop

a moment and really think about what YOU think is

right for you. Ignoring your husband's qualities and

faults, ignoring your friend's health, what do you

want? If you don't want to be married, you will

subconsciously make sure that someday you are not. If

you do REALLY want it to work, then commit to that and

make it work.

 

I know how alluring is the thought that there's a

crystal ball somewhere that will tell you for sure

whether the choice you make (either way) will be

successful. But there is no crystal ball. There are

opinions. Look at our recent attempts to predict the

new Pope. Lots of opinions and good reasons, but...

 

If you really are looking for astrological guidance on

the question of 'stay with husband or go with friend',

why not have an astrologer use Prasna to answer that

specific question?

 

Anyway, best of luck to you.

 

 

Dear David,

 

Hi. I actually liked your "outburst". It showed a kind

man defending another's sensibilities in the face of

rudeness. I like that. It was also well worded.

 

Something to consider, though, is that Vatsyayana at

least did not write back 12 times to force his (?)

opinion. He stated his position and left it at that. I

like that. He is entitled to his view and I happen to

think that "naengineer" might find some valuable

guidance in it because there is something valuable in

ALL answers that come to us, even (especially?) those

that are hardest to hear. And in these days of

"patriot acts", I'm rather glad to be able to hear

rude and unpopular opinions.

 

Still, though, I happen to like 'kind', even if I

don't always practice it myself. I thought Prakash

gave a great answer and wrote to him (?) offlist to

say so. [Hmmm. There's a hint to me: offlist should

probably be my only way of opening my big mouth.]

 

[Nah. That's boring.]

 

Dear Vatsyayana

 

When someone doesn't want to hear something they need

to hear, then sometimes the rude delivery is the only

way they'll hear it (maybe not even then). So, in that

sense, I see your point in your first posting to

"naengineer". But you are committing the same mistakes

of which you accuse NA and David.

 

No, you don't need to be understanding, nor do you

need to approve of vile acts by anyone. But to meet

someone's (supposed) lack of concern for other's

emotions, by a show of your own lack of concern for

other's emotions does leave you open to responses like

David's. See? Why express pity for the husband? Isn't

that comment more about you than her?

 

Also, David's comments on your possible puritanism can

still be correct no matter how much you talk about and

study sex. You may be completely open about sex in

regards to yourself and your own ideas of sex and

still be puritanical when someone else's opinions of

sex and marriage conflict with your own. That makes

you human and just like the rest of us. So maybe your

advice applies to you (and me) as well as to NA and

David. Still, I'm glad you are free to express your

opinion, and it makes for interesting conversations.