What nourishes us?

[Guest guest]

When I was in my worst depression, very intense pain, I had to find what

nourished me. This was necessary in a very big way. I was on the verge of

dieing from mental anquish.

I’ll jump to the conlusion. It was religion or beliefs. They did not

bring relief. They are too much founded in the unproven. I don’t find

faith being helpful when it’s ground you seek.

I found that real love from a real person, touch, talk, caring, serving, was medicine.

Also, medicines, real ones, like Lithium, which is an element, and various

herbs, including skullcap, calamus and others, were helpful. Being given a no

cost place to live and recuperate.

These were “real” things. Not faith.

But still, in the darkest hours, like at death, one is on their own with their

thoughts and feelings, so we have to cultivate that perhaps? When I do that, I

find a meditative and happy thinking style to work, again, not thinking about

religious dogmas, especially ones from some foreign culture be it Judaeism or

Hinduis, (foreign to an Irish/German), but just what is natural to my natural

good self.

So for me, healing involved self love and self acceptance and those demanded I

abandon the way I used to think, which was all taught to me, all learned, and

all religion, both Christiand and Hindu mainly.

I have studied and see that there are other ways, other cultures, that did and do get on just fine.

Healing for me meant realizing I was free from these things. Free from the chains that bind.

As I’ve become free, I have seen various attempts to define my suffering

by others. They blame it on what they think it should be blamed on, just as

some Christian preachers blamed homosexuality for the presence of HIV, so my

“sickness” has a cause, and some say it’s my offences against

religious leaders, like Christ, Prabhupada, Narayan Maharam, Maharisish, or

whomever.

I see them and myself as opposing scholars, and I do not see malice, but

challenges, met and consdered, but never causing malice, not with the real

leaders.

I personally talked “turkey” with the likes (personally) of Deepak

Chopra and Yogi Bhajan. They were not mean or condescending or preachy even in

the face of opposition. They were gracious, as was I, and I can’t help

but like both. I’ve “had it out” with some high ranking

Christians, and they too, gracious, as was I. It’s professionalism in

the religious realm! No biggee.

I’m always learning. I guess it’s a mistake to speak along the way,

because later you feel differently. I get letters often saying like “You

make me believe more in Krishna”. !!!!!

That’s rather odd for me to hear these days, but it’s OK. Belief in

the glorious divine forms molded in the relative by the devout are usually good,

and not harmful to anyone. I really enjoyed it when I was into it, into deity

worship, into Krishna Bhakti. I’m just not there anymore, but

that’s OK!

I have to honor what nourishes me. It may seem dark or different, but

it’s a culture, and it’s mine, and I’m happy with it.

Reeshart Mach Aeoidh

Richard MacKayoedh

aka Das Goravani

das (AT) goravani (DOT) com

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