Thanks

[Guest guest]

Dear Sri Krishnan,

 

 

Sorry it took so long to get back and tell you thanks so much for your help!

I don't always have access to a computer and time, sometimes quite a few days

slip by. You gave me a lot to think about, and I wanted you to know that I

began putting your suggestions into effect immediately. I had thought that my

husband was "just not that into" me, and that as he certainly is always the

center of attention of the family and of his buddies at bars, it had little to

do with me. But so far as better communication, I guess that would be more

along the lines of dropping everything else and listening, along with asking the

right questions? It is hard to figure out what he wants (besides to go out to

bars & party). It's not current events or what his plans or ideas are. (He

just waves me off, all irritated). I can't talk to him like I do the guys at

work, he doesn't like work (I do) (even though he does, or did, beautiful work

in building houses); he loves to drink (I don't). He is VERY hard to divert

from his habit, but you are definitely onto something in pointing out the

frustration part. He was one of 10 kids and didn't get much attention (they

have pretty much given up on him because of the drinking and not working); I

was the firstborn and first grandchild of both sets of grandparents and have

always gotten more attention (and pressure, and expectations) than is

comfortable. He can't get enough attention; loves the spotlight. It does look

like he sees that I am trying, and that is thanks to you.

In taking care of his fascinations--he loves to drag me to bars like I'm

some sort of trophy, but then there're all these personality shifts. He flirts

with everyone to the point of obnoxiousness (at a certain point he brags that

all women are in love with him, and all men are secretly gay and want him), and

then its so embarrassing, and then he goes into dramatic, jealous fits if anyone

talks to me --it's just way better not to go there. There are a lot of bar

women who are perfectly happy to have any sort of sleazy-type attention as long

as he's buying all their alcohol, but it just seems like a waste of time to try

to turn me into that kind of woman when there are so many of that kind already

available and anyway I just can't. The alcohol interferes with everything, and

I too am frustrated. I mean, if I'm reading you correctly, notice I do have

Venus & Moon in mutual kendras in navamsa only (breeds well in captivity?).

But do I even have the right to try to change him? Maybe by my chart I'd drive

any man to drink, because I'm boring? (I look kind of like a dumb blonde, OK,

but on the inside its more like a "mad scientist"--well, not mad, but you know

we like to experiment with jyotish on this board. )

By the way, the jealousy thing really bothers and scares me, jealousy can be

an explosive emotion; but note for others on this board if your dasa lord in in

6th see if you see jealous people coming out of the woodwork.

At any rate, there's something about your words that compel me to try, so I

will keep trying, especially as trying to be more nurturing and to figure out

how to communicate better; hoping for improvement in mercury antar. I had

gotten that Venus bhukti would show lots of problems (due to tight conjunction

with Saturn, every time there's a Venus period it is rough), but it was very

educational the way you pointed out Moon in Venus nakshatra in 7th bringing out

welfare of spouse /problems. I did think past related to religion but thought

it was to do with Ketu in 5th SD (this I think shows jyotish perhaps why the

South Indian chart seemed so familiar at first sight)--but missed Venus in

Viskha. The way you put that makes a lot of sense.

Two things am not clear on (1)you said 2 and 11 lords in exaltation keep

me well off til end of dasa in 2011 --but even in 6th and Rx? And as

Gnatikaraka, doesn't that indicate debt and money problems? (especially as

husband quit his job) How great a weight does the karaka scheme carry in

reference to dasa and bhukti period effects? It seems to me a good bit.

Although 2nd lord is in trine from 2nd house, 11th is in 8th from 11th.

(interesting that you see afflicted 11th houses in eldest in birth order--no

older sibling). What you said about health is a bit scary--my job is all

about movement and we have to deliver the mail in all climates. Injury would be

bad, I have no health benefits yet. (I'm pretty sure I won't die until

Saturn/Ketu or so, about or after 2018). Arms hurt a lot after work from so

much heavy lifting and throwing mail (saturn's aspect on debiltated rasi Aries

hits 3rd bhava?), but am usually good to go after good nights sleep and a bit of

yoga in the morning. The way I look at this is it's like being paid to go to

the gym and lift weights. Plus, I really do love my job; that's the place for

a challenge. (2) The other thing--you said Saturn is debilitated in

exaltation in Libra--is that debilitation in another varga or to do with

planetary war (by one system Saturn loses and by another saturn wins) or

something else? This is something new to learn about. Normally the Saturn

periods are excellent (due to being so tight with yogakaraka Venus), so I had

some high(ish) hopes for Saturn antar, but didn't know if it would just pull

tighter as Saturn is tied to Venus and Jupiter as it aspects both, plus as you

pointed out gochara effects.

I so hope you are right that things won't go from bad to worse--you give me

hope on that. The reason I said that was I have seen heavy drinkers younger

than my husband just quit their jobs and give up and drink themselves to death;

also, there is all this sleep deprivation and craziness that alcoholics bring,

and somebody has to work, and it's very hard to do what I have to do on no

sleep. PLus he has dasa of 4/7 L Jupiter in eighth, bhukti of Atmakaraka 6 L

(MT) Saturn in Lagna--Saturn is dispositor of Rahu in 5th and aspected by Rahu.

But, Jupiter in transit will move to 7th from his Moon in Bharani in September,

and Ketu has moved out of 7th from Moon. Also, Jupiter transiting in Libra may

help his debilitated 12th Lord Sun in 2nd (drinking so much?) and natal Jupiter

plus Moon in 8th. Thanks for letting me vent, and explore jyotish. Sometimes I

feel the need for jyotish company when I'm home alone after work, and this board

is very uplifting.

 

Thanks again,

 

Robin