Inquiries into the Absolute: Digest 82

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Digest 82, February 12th, 2004

Answers by His Holiness Romapada Swami Maharaja

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Dealing with parents and acquaintances

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Question)

 

My parents are not devotees. When they go to parties, they force me to

accompany them and I get very frustrated because I am forced to tolerate

materialists all around me. I try to preach but in the end I find myself

more frustrated because there are some persons who find all kinds of

arguments to contradict me and when I refute them, they just go on talking

and do not give me the opportunity to voice out, thus forcing me to listen

to them. What should I do?

 

Answer)

 

This is a common difficulty, with different dynamics of course, for

many devotees. Rest assured, you have a lot of good company!

 

The best solution, obviously, would be to find ways to avoid such

situations of unfavorable association if at all possible. But when

that is not possible, it would be best to refrain from entering into

confrontations and arguments with non-devotees who are not open-minded.

Such endless debates would serve no good purpose for either party,

conversely it may serve to deepen the entrenched material conceptions

of the other party; in fact, unless one is a sufficiently advanced devotee

who has understood scriptural conclusions thoroughly, debates with hard

core materialists could prove to be harmful to one's own budding faith

in devotional service.

 

Although Vedic authority offers the highest and most logical conclusions,

those who are blindly or dogmatically attached to their own ideas can never

accept these conclusions. Moreover, Krishna cannot be understood through

arguments and counter-arguments, but only through humble service and

submissive inquiries in association of those who have realized Him.

Krishna remains hidden from those who don't want to know Him. Instead of

coming closer to Krishna, such persons may even become more averse or

inimical to Krishna when attempts are made to forcefully dismantle their

conceptions. For this reason, scriptures forbid us from instructing

faithless persons about the glories of the Holy Name and of devotional

service, lest they commit more offenses against the Lord.

 

When in such unavoidable non-devotee association, therefore, it is best to

externally act like one among them while being internally detached from

meaningless exchanges and frivolous conversations. This certainly proves

to be quite a challenge, but by practicing being prayerful and taking

shelter of Krishna, we can be protected.

 

This advice is not meant to diminish your desire to preach. It is natural

that when one has the matchless treasure of Krishna consciousness, one is

eager to share it with others and to tell the whole world. But when someone

is disinclined and even averse, or they are simply interested in mundane

wrangling than pursuing a change of heart, the best service we could do

for them is to try to not disturb them, yet whenever possible to give

them Krishna's mercy indirectly. If possible, you could give them Krishna

prasadam, with or even without their knowledge, and that will gradually

purify their hearts.

 

Most important in all of this is that our own consciousness be actually

absorbed in Krishna and in a mood of humble service; that will leave a

deeper impact on others, more than a thousand words spoken. Those who are

sincere will sense the difference. When you find someone who is open minded

and favorably disposed, you could share your knowledge of Krishna

consciousness with them, and their reasonable doubts can be dispelled with

logical explanations. Such exchanges will actually be both satisfying

and beneficial.

 

 

 

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----- Festivals over the next week ------

Feb 16 2004, Monday Ekadasi Vijaya (Break fast 06:58-10:34) (Fast)

Feb 17 2004, Tuesday Disappearance Sri Isvara Puri

Feb 18 2004, Wednesday Siva Ratri

 

*** NOTE: All times are for Washington D.C, USA, EST ***

For festival information for your city please go to http://www.iskcondc.org and

click on 'Calendar'

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